Buffy awakened from her light doze, the gentle touch of a hand on her shoulder rousing her. Opening her eyes sleepily, she took in the smiling gaze of the pretty hostess that had served them during their flight from Rome to LA.
“Miss Summers we will be landing in a few minutes. Would you like to freshen up before final approach? Your sister is up front chatting to the pilot, so the bathroom is free. If you like, I can bring you some warm towels to help you feel a little more awake and aware.”
The hostess noted the weariness on the slayer’s face. Wondering how someone so young could look like she carried the worry of the world on her shoulders, she waited patiently for the blonde to throw of the last traces of sleep.
“Um yes thanks, that would be good” Buffy replied gratefully, still trying to convince her brain that it was time to wake up, not go back to sleep.
“I hope my sister hasn’t made a nuisance of herself?” she smiled apologetically. “You see this is our first flight on a non-commercial plane and she was pretty excited about the whole thing.”
The hostess, whom Buffy remembered introducing herself as Maria, smiled before assuring her that no, not at all. The younger Miss Summers had been a delight to have and that the pilot was in fact glad to have had such interesting company.
Somehow, knowing Dawn, Buffy doubted that. But she figured, what the hey, at least she wasn’t back here bugging the hell out of me for the entire flight.
Yawning and stretching, she looked out of the small window in the jet’s bulkhead. At the sight of her hometown lights spread out below her, an unexpected burst of joy washed over her.
God! She was going home! She was about to step back on American soil after nearly a year, and until this very moment she had not realized how much she’d missed it.
Rising with a last warm glance at the lights below, she made her way to the small but luxurious bathroom in the rear of the jet.
Ten minutes later as she was buckling her seat belt in preparation for landing, Dawn came bouncing through the forward cabin door.
Throwing herself into the soft leather seat beside her sister, Dawn seemed, to Buffy’s exhausted eyes, way too hyperactive for someone who had been awake all night.
“God Buff sleep much? You missed the whole flight!” she teased with a wide grin.
“Yeah, like you care little sis” quipped the slayer. “I’m not blind Dawnie; I saw the way you were making cow eyes at our pilot. Young, Italian and cute, all your criteria for date worthiness. I’m surprised you even remembered I was here” she finished drolly.
“Ha Ha… very funny oh sister mine” shot back Dawn. “I’ll have you know that I spent the entire time talking about you and Rome and the whole romantic Spike and you thing. I am much too mature” she said with an exaggerated huff, “to be thinking about hitting on a guy when were on a mission of mercy.”
“Married or gay?” the slayer asked with a knowing smirk.
“Both!” grumbled Dawn with a petulant frown.
“All the cute ones are honey.” stated Buffy, her solemn tone belied by the twinkle in her eyes.
“Oh it’s all right for you” complained Dawn “You have the Immortal pining after you, and when we find Spike you’ll probably be so busy shagging him that I won’t see you for weeks.”
“Dawn…. Oh my God” Buffy gasped, blushing a deep crimson. “Spike and I will not be ‘shagging’ as you put it. And just where did you learn… never mind, I know exactly where you heard it,” she grimaced “and that’s one more thing he and I will be talking about… corrupting my innocent little sister. Just you wait til I get my hands on him.”
Dawn giggled as she caught the glazed look in her sister’s eyes at the phrase ‘hands on’. Oh yeah, there would be no shagging there…Right!
“Do you think he’ll really be glad to see us?” asked Buffy, her tone suddenly anxious. “What if he didn’t come find us cos he doesn’t care anymore Dawnie? I mean he’s been back a long time. What if he really doesn’t want to see me?”
Chewing on her lip Dawn considered her sister’s question before answering.
“Buffy I know Spike. I don’t know why he stayed away, but I do know that if he stayed away for any reason it was because he thought it would make you happy. And besides, being with Angel all this time was probably a really bad influence on him”
She smirked at Buffy’s glare. “God I hope the whole broody thing isn’t contagious” she commented rolling her eyes with a sigh.
“Look Buffy” she offered seriously “Spike has a soul, and even when he was still in Sunnydale being controlled by the First, I could tell that the soul had changed the way he thought of us. Except maybe Xander” she added with a grin.
“He was much more serious and way less impulsive. God you remember… you had to yell at him to make him start acting like Spike. He was so burdened by the guilt and the whole insanity thing that he was practically an Angel clone there for a while.”
Shuddering melodramatically she continued. “But even back then with the quiet and brooding, not to mention everything else that was going on, you were still the only thing he really cared about.”
Her voice was wistful and solemn as she reached for her sister’s hand’ Giving it a gentle squeeze, she met Buffy’s eyes with certainty.
“He didn’t save the world for puppies and Christmas Buffy… he saved it for you. The guy got a soul for you, and then died for you. So I really can’t see him deciding that all of that was unimportant just because he got brought back mystically. Can you?”
Buffy wanted desperately to take comfort from her sister’s words, but a small part of her kept whispering… What if she was wrong? What if he really had gotten over her and moved on?
“But that’s just it Dawn, what if he doesn’t have his soul anymore? she asked quietly. “What if he woke up one morning and decided that what he felt for me wasn’t real. What…what if it wasn’t real?”
“And again with the big, Huh?” Dawn gaped, shaking her head with a distinct lack of understanding. “What do you mean… what if it wasn’t real? I’m sorry sis, but you’ve lost me there. Care to explain? Cos I’m just not seeing this one,” she said her face a mask of confusion.
Chewing her lip nervously Buffy did her best to avoid looking at her sister while she tried to explain her fears.
“I’ve been thinking about this Dawn…ever since I got on the plane I’ve done nothing but think about it…and…”
“Buff” Dawn cut in impatiently “No offense but you and the thinking thing not so much of the mixy… you remember… you slayer, me brain. C’mon, you know what happens when you start to think. Badness happens” finished Dawn her cheeky grin broadening at the glowering look on her sister’s face.
“Oh you’re just full of the funny today” came the sarcastic rejoinder. “But before you get all busy booking me in to special ed classes, you might wanna hear what I have to say, cos, HEY Chosen One here. Smart enough to survive the apocalypse on a boringly regular basis, and guess what? Brainpower, while not always used, definitely optional” she drawled sardonically. “You might also wanna remember, before you shoot me down, that the blonde is not totally natural ”.
“Yeah yeah, go college Buffy” snickered Dawn, taking in the pouty look on her sister’s face.
“Grrr” the slayer snarled, though admittedly half-heartedly.
She knew what Dawn was up to, and as much as she appreciated her sister’s attempt to distract her from her worries; Buffy couldn’t help feeling very worried about the niggling doubts that had been circling her brain since she left Rome.
“Look Dawn” the Slayer said her tone suddenly serious. “Like I said, I did some thinking on the way here, and it occurred to me there could be one very good reason why Spike hasn’t tried to find us, regardless of what Andrew thinks he feels. I mean God, how much more wrong could he have gotten it with the whole ‘she’s moving on’ speech that he gave Spike and Angel? He could be completely wrong in thinking that Spike still loves me.”
Dawn watched the shadows of doubt and insecurity overtake her sister’s eyes at those words, and as much as she wanted to jump in and reassure Buffy of Spike’s continuing devotion, there was a very small part of her own mind that had similar doubts.
She decided the only way to help was to let her air those doubts. Crossing her arms across her chest she gave her sister her best ‘I am listening, but I reserve the right to believe you’ look.
“Ok it’s like this… when Spike first got chipped, Giles thought that maybe the powers might be behind it… that they made it happen so Spike would fight on our side and earn some sort of redemption.”
At Dawn’s unladylike snort Buffy suppressed her urge to smile and continued, ignoring the minor interruption.
“At the time I thought that Giles must have been hit in the head one too many times and I just shrugged it off much the same way Spike did. But Dawnie, what if Giles was right? What if everything that happened was so Spike would be there to wear Angel’s flashy jewel thingy, so he could save the world?”
She took a deep breath. “What if the Powers caused it all? What if the chip and the soul was their way of making sure Spike would do what they wanted?”
Lip starting to wobble, she met her sister’s eyes. “I mean it’s not like they haven’t interfered with me and a vamp in the past. They were the ones that sent Angel to Sunnydale in the first place. So what if…I mean what if Spike…”
“Oh c’mon Buffy you can’t really believe that” Dawn interrupted incredulously.
“The chip was an accident, and the soul was cos he loved you Buff. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore, so he got the soul because … because… Well actually, I never really got the full story there” she admitted with a scowl “But I’m pretty sure the soul was all about how he felt about you, and what he’d done. You know the… well you know.” said Dawn her eyes shifting away from her sisters intense stare.
She found herself unable to finish the rest of the sentence, the memory of Spike’s attempted rape still stirring up confused anger in the younger girl.
“But that’s just it Dawn… don’t you see? What if what Spike felt for me was part of it? Maybe it was just another way of controlling him, manipulating him in to doing their dirty work. What if what he felt for me wasn’t real? What if it was just like Willow’s ‘Will be done’ spell? And… and what if when he was resurrected in LA he realized that?”
“That’s an awful lot of ‘what ifs’ Buffy.” Dawn stated, frowning at her sister.
“Ok, so lets just say your right about the chip, and it was the Powers. Cos yeah, I get the whole similarity thing that the chip and Angel’s curse have going”, she offered with a frown.
“So okay I could maybe see that, them being ‘The Powers That Be’. But Buff, what you seem to have forgotten is that you died. You were gone for months Buffy… and Spike still stayed.”
Frown melting into a smile, Dawn’s voice softened in memory.
“He stayed to protect me Buffy. And before you jump in and say it’s because he loved you, stop for a moment and think about it. There is no spell that I’ve ever heard of, that could make someone continue loving a person when they’re dead. If it had been some sort of geas or thrall, then it would have died when you did. Sure, Spike might have stayed around. But he sure as hell wouldn’t have gone out of his way to protect any of us… especially not Xander. Besides Buffy” she rushed on before her sister could butt in, her tone brightening with sudden insight.
“If they were gonna make him love you, don’t you think they would have made him a lot more attractive to you? I mean for Pete’s sake, I saw Willow’s ‘Will be done’ spell… well ok, I didn’t see it… cos hey, really didn’t exist back then, but thanks to the stupid monks I have complete and very vivid memories of you going on about my being a flower girl. Which, just let me say, I so could have done without.”
“Anyway where was I? Oh yeah… if it had been the Powers, wouldn’t it have made more sense for you to have at least liked Spike? Instead of threatening him and beating him up all the time? I mean… if they wanted him to fight for our side, they had a pretty strange way of going about it.”
Sighing with exasperation at the still troubled look on her sister’s face, she rolled her eyes before stating.
“Making him love his mortal enemy seems a little like over kill if you ask me. They didn’t need him to love you. They only needed him to fight for us, and the chip was already making him do that. And as for the whole soul thing” she mused thoughtfully, “well that was just another way it could have backfired… and very nearly did,” she added with a pointed look.
“They may be The almighty Powers, but not even they could be sure that Spike would win his soul. And I doubt if they did manage to orchestrate that particular feat, that his being insane and killing cos of the First’s trigger would have been part of their plan.”
“No Buff” she stated firmly taking in the now hopeful look on her sister’s face
“Too many things might have gone wrong. And it definitely would have been the hard way of getting him to do what they wanted. So, after due consideration” she finished smugly “Not to mention some really good logic, I have to say that it’s a great big emphatic ‘NO WAY’ to the whole ‘it wasn’t real’ theory.” she smirked in satisfaction.
“Oh and another thing” she added, now on a roll. “Spike protected me from Glory. He let himself get tortured. I honestly don’t think that any love spell could make a vampire, or any man endure that. Only real love could. And let’s not forget that was before the soul. One spell for you…maybe… but two?” the skeptical look on her face was wiped away with her next words
“Whatever else I do or don’t know Buff, I know that soulless Spike loved me.” she finished, her ‘So There” implied but not voiced.
There was such finality in Dawn’s voice and attitude that Buffy couldn’t help but feel her worries lift slightly.
What Dawn said made a lot of sense. So now, the only way she had left to find out the truth was to go to the source. She would just have to find Spike and ask him why he hadn’t come looking for her, and if it was because he no longer loved her then she would deal with it then.
After pulling her sister in for a hug, she lent back and gave her a grateful smile.
“Thanks Dawnie… I don’t know when you got so wise, but thanks.” Squaring her shoulders with determination, she released Dawn as she became aware that at some stage during their little chat the plane had landed.
“C’mon little sister we’ve got a vamp to find. And we still have to find a way to contact Willow, cos she’s probably our best chance of finding him in this city.”
“Hey Buff that reminds me…” Dawn ventured with a thoughtful frown “What did Giles know about that coven meeting thing that Willow went to? Cos I forgot to ask you, what with all the excitement of the plane ride.”
“That’s the weird thing Dawnie, Giles had no idea what I was talking about” confessed Buffy, her expression equally thoughtful.
“He said as far as he knew the coven weren’t due to meet until the next solstice, and he hadn’t heard anything about Willow being called to help out.”
“Well that’s strange” observed Dawn, studying her sister’s puzzled face.
“Yeah well, now that you mention it, the weird keeps on coming” Buffy admitted with shrug.
“I rang Kennedy back to see if she’d heard from Wills yet and she said that she’d spoken to Willow, and Willow told her that she would call me when she could. Willow apparently told her she was doing some really big healing mojo thing with the others, and would be unreachable by phone for a coupla days at least. “She grimaced.
“Okay, so I know that Willow gets pretty heavy into the spell casting, but it’s just not like her to just take off like that and not find some way of staying in touch, or at least letting us know what’s going on.”
Her voice took on thoughtful cast. “If I didn’t know better Dawnie, I’d think Willow was avoiding me.”
She shook her head trying to shake off her suspicions.
“God Dawnie, this is Willow we’re talking about. Surely she learnt her lesson in Sunnydale, what with her magic addiction and all. Besides, why would she try to avoid me? Its not like she’s done anything to piss me off lately… apart from dating Kennedy” she offered with a snigger.
“Hmm” Dawn mused, the suddenly intense look on her face abruptly dispelling Buffy’s amusement.
“Ok Dawn what are you thinking? I know that face… that’s your ‘I know something my sister doesn’t’ face” eyes narrowing and her voice full of accusation, she frowned. “And let us not forget that the last time I saw that particular look was THAT horrible ‘Morning that will not be named’”
Buffy shuddered, trying desperately not to think about it, less the remembered visuals caused her eyes to explode. “We all remember how well my cluelessness worked out that time?” she bit out sarcastically, still not completely over the whole thing.
“For God sake Buffy” grumbled Dawn, folding her arms in her best ‘get over it’ pose.
“I’ve told you like a thousand times… I warned you not to go into the room. Is it my fault you don’t listen?” she rolled her eyes at her sister’s glare. “I mean sheesh, how much clearer could I say it?”
“Hmph” Buffy snorted “I don’t think ‘Hey Sis, Andrew’s in your room let him sleep in’… is the same as… Oh, say… ‘Andrew and those two chickies he went out with last night are naked in your room…Let them sleep in’” she huffed.
“I mean really Dawn, there are some things my eyes are just not meant to see that early… or ever. Andrew with the orgy twins… in my bed? Definitely on the list. Anyway, enough of the memory trip from hell.”
Grimacing, she shook her head to clear any horrible memories that might have wanted to linger, then turned her gaze back to her sister.
“Let’s get back to Willow and your all knowing look”, she asked determinedly. “So you gonna spill, or what?”
“Ok sis, but you have to understand it’s just a hunch nothing definite… I mean it’s not like I’m sure or anything.”
“DAWN?”
“All right already...” she huffed at her sister’s impatience. “I think the reason we can’t get hold of Will is cos she’s already here. And I think if she’s not already with him… she probably knows where Spike is.”
Buffy gaped “And how did you come by that particular hunch Dawn? I mean Willow being all incommunicado and Spike being injured doesn’t exactly scream conspiracy.” Buffy arched an eyebrow at the smug look on her sister’s face.
“It’s elementary my dear sister… A) Willow mentioned big healing magic and cannot be reached; very un-Willow like. B) In the vision thingy that Armando’s friend had, Spike was hurt pretty seriously. And C) we’re mostly sure that some, if not all of Angel’s crew were wiped out cos of some big battle... Right?”
“Uh, yeah” agreed Buffy uncomprehendingly. “I still don’t see…” she trailed off as she noticed the impatient look on Dawn’s face.
“Look Buff it’s simple. If Spike was hurt in a magical battle then he would need help… magical help… ergo the Willow missage, cos knowing that stupid vamp he’s probably still on the whole ‘don’t tell Buffy’ kick he was on when he was in Rome. And you know our Willow? Not so good with the lying, but the avoidy thing?” she shrugged.
“You mean you think Willow is hiding Spike, and that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to me?” the Slayer asked with a puzzled frown.
“But Dawnie, Will is the only other one apart from you that knows how I feel about Spike. It doesn’t make sense. Why would Willow do that? She knows how badly I’d want to see him, especially if he was hurt!”
“Well my best guess,” replied Dawn, a contemplative look settling on her features “is that Spike is the reason, but I haven’t quite worked out the why”.
“Ok Dawnie, lets say your right about Willow and Spike. How are we going to find them if they don’t want to be found?”
Buffy’s rising anxiety made her voice so shrill that Dawn instantly went into damage control. The last thing she needed was her sister working her self up into one of her famous rants.
“Buffy, this is Spike and Willow we’re talking about. The two people in the world that couldn’t plan their way out of a wet paper bag with instructions and a flashlight.”
Her voice was deliberately droll and her eye roll exaggerated. “Stop and think for a minute, what do both of them have in common? And which place is the only place in LA that both of them visited last?”
She watched her sister think about it for a moment, letting her find her way to the obvious conclusion. A smug half smile was the only sign that she loved the fact that even though Buffy was the slayer, it was she, Dawn, that had seemingly gotten the lion’s share of the brains in their weird little family.
“The Hyperion” groaned Buffy. “Oh for Pete’s sake not even those two would be that obvious surely? C’mon Dawn it can’t be that simple, I mean Spike mightn’t realize I know about his working with Angel, but Willow would have to know it would be the first place I’d look… Wouldn’t she?”
Her voice and expression became even more uncertain as she took in the look of resolve on her little sister’s face.
“Well there’s only one way to find out Buffy. So do we cab it, or are we renting?” the former key asked gleefully.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, I'm finally back on track with this story.
My lovely beta, Jill, has graciously agreed to help me finish this so I will be updating a lot more often.
Review and let me know what you think?
My lovely beta, Jill, has graciously agreed to help me finish this so I will be updating a lot more often.
Review and let me know what you think?