Some lines taken from Buffy vs. Dracula written by Marti Noxon. I just couldn’t resist not using them. *g*
Chapter 12. Post-Impressionism
Buffy tried to gather her bearings, make sense of what just happened, what was still happening, what she was seeing, but couldn’t stop shaking long enough to manage.
Her hands felt cold and clammy as she embraced her knees with them, her eyes brimming with tears she refused to shed. She swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in her throat, her breath uneven and tremulous as it escaped painfully through her swollen lips.
Her cheek burned with the sting of Riley’s slap, she could still feel his fingers as they closed around her neck, as they crept up her body. It was an ugly reminder of her inability to escape, to make him stop.
She shook her head and forced herself to inhale and exhale, take long, deep calming breaths, trying to focus on anything other than the nightmare she’d just lived through. And yet one thought remained clear in her muddled mind... Spike had rescued her. Somehow, he’d known she needed him and came to her aide, arriving in the nick of time to pull Riley off her with all the force and rage of an avenging angel. The nightmare was over. Only… was it really? Because the face of her angel was that of a monster.
She shivered, hugging her knees closer to her body. She knew what she saw, was sure of it as the air that currently filled her lungs. Yet her heart refused to believe there was any other monster in the room except Riley.
Riley wouldn’t have stopped. If Spike hadn’t intervened, Riley would’ve rap… No, don’t think about it. Don’t. It’s over now, it’s all over, she thought, watching as Riley stumbled through the door, hoping she’d never see him again.
Spike stood with his back to her, she could see him clench and unclench his fists, felt the anger radiating from him, his concern for her and still… he wouldn’t turn around. Why?
She needed him right now, his strength, his protection, the comfort only he could provide. Whatever he was didn’t matter, not now. He made her feel safe and she needed that more than anything else at the moment. She rose on slightly unsteady legs and called hesitatingly, “S-Spike?”
Spike didn’t want to face her. Not like this. Not when he still hadn’t been able to shake his demon’s face off. How much had she seen? How would she react now? Could he bear seeing the horror, the accusation in her eyes now that she’d witnessed what he was capable of, what he truly was?
For as much as he’d like to delay this for a century or two, he knew he had to face her. Mustering every sliver of the self-control he’d mastered over the years, he reined in his rage against the man that tried to hurt the one he cared about and the monster gave way once again to the man. Now in control, he pivoted on his heel, steeling himself for her reaction.
Buffy held her breath as he slowly turned towards her, not sure what she expected to see when he did, but deep down knowing no matter what he looked like, whatever he was, she was safe with him. Still, even knowing that, she sagged in relief when she found herself staring at the face she’d grown so fond of in the last few days.
He couldn’t give credit to what he saw written on her face, in her eyes. Or rather, what he didn’t see. There was none of the horror, the trepidation, the accusation he’d anticipated. She was shaken, her pallor sickeningly white against the red that covered part of her face, her whole demeanor screamed she’d just lived a horrible experience and yet… yet, she looked at him as if he was her savior, not a vile creature. Could it be she hadn’t seen anything?
She extended her hand towards him and just then her legs gave out. In a blink, he was by her side, helping her to sit on the bed and kneeling in front of her. His blue eyes traveled up and down her body, her face, all his senses attuned on her to gauge if she were hurt anywhere else other than the obvious.
“Are you alright, love?”
“Y-yes, but …” she paused, her eyes shifting from him to scan the room. She didn’t want to stay here, in this hotel, not after what just happened. She’d never feel secure. And at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to take her home with him. She knew he’d say yes, he was nothing if not a gentleman, but she’d hate to think he’d agree out of obligation and intrude in his domain.
“But?” he compelled her to elaborate only to be met with a sad shake of her head. He hadn’t missed the way she’d looked about nervously a few seconds earlier and was all too aware she wouldn’t be comfortable staying here. Even more so, he couldn’t leave her here, he’d be worried sick there might be a repeat performance of tonight. He needed to have her nearby so he could make sure nothing bad happened to her. “Know what, love? You’re comin’ home with me. Ah-ah-ah,” he warned, waggling a finger at her when she seemed about to complain. “I’m not askin’, I’m tellin’ you. I’m not about to leave you here alone, not after what happened.”
A wave of relief washed over her at his… well, offer. He thought she might complain? Nothing farther from her mind; however, she had to make at least a token protest. “B-but…”
“No buts, love.” He put a finger under her chin to level her face with his. “You just went through a very traumatic experience. We can talk ‘bout makin’ other arrangements tomorrow mornin’ once you’ve rested from your ordeal, alright?” Not that he had any intention of allowing her out of his sight for the rest of her trip, but if it made her accept it would have to do… for now.
She nodded, feeling a lot better now that she knew she would be safe, that she’d be under his care, at his home, where there’d be no more Riley.
“Pack a few things in a bag, toiletries and such you might need while I ring the reception desk to get your account sorted and arrange for a maid to pack up the rest of your baggage. Giles can pick it up later today.”
He started to rise from the carpet when she put a hand over his arm. “Spike?”
“Yeah, love?”
“Thanks… for everything.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m just glad I got here in time.” And was he ever, even if he’d liked to be there earlier so she wouldn’t have gone through any of it. He smiled reassuringly at her and walked to the phone to get everything sorted with the hotel.
Buffy half-listened to his side of the conversation while deciding what to do in the meantime. She toyed with the idea of changing, but didn’t want to stay in this room any longer than necessary. Instead, she did just what Spike had asked her and automatically started collecting some of her clothes and bath articles then threw them rather carelessly inside a duffel bag.
She started when she felt Spike’s hands run lightly over her arms, since she hadn’t noticed he’d stopped talking on the phone.
“Are you ready, love?”
“Y-yes, all set to go.” She smiled at him, and her smile only grew bigger when he took off the leather duster he’d been wearing and placed it around her shoulders. She looked down at herself, noticing it covered her dress entirely and at the same time, provided her with much needed warmth. Of course it didn’t hurt she was drowning in his scent as it enveloped her, she mused as she hugged it closer to her.
He picked up the duffel bag from the bed and extended his free hand to her, which she was about to grab only to suddenly take a step back and walk towards a desk on the opposite side of the room.
“Buffy, what—” he started to ask, until he saw what she was after. His painting, the one he’d given her. “Sweetheart, Giles can pick that up along with the rest of your luggage later.”
“No, I’m taking it with me. I’m not leaving it here and running the risk of anything happening to it.”
“It won’t fit in the car,” he argued.
“Of course it will. It’s not that big, it will fit perfectly in the passenger’s seat. Please, Spike?”
He sighed. “Alright, you win.”
“Thank you. Perhaps you can carry it and I’ll take the bag?”
“Nah, I’ll carry both.” Not even a week and you’re whipped already, he thought to himself as he followed her to the lift. And truthfully, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
*****
They stepped out of The Mandeville about fifteen minutes later. The lady at the reception desk had her account ready and waiting for them when they got downstairs and assured them that one of the maids would pack the rest of Miss Summers’ belongings and have it ready whenever they sent someone to pick it up.
Spike exhaled a sigh of relief when they found Giles outside waiting for them. Not that he’d have any doubts he wouldn’t be, although he hadn’t told the man where he was off to when he tore out of the car earlier.
Once they passed by him to enter the back door of the car, he smelled something on Giles he recognized from before but his chauffeur refused to meet his eyes and he decided to let it go for the moment. As it was, they would have to speed up to win the race home against the nearing dawn and whenever they were there would be early enough to talk with him. Before following Buffy into the car though, he asked Giles to phone Anne so she would have enough time to prepare a room for Miss Summers since she would be staying the night with them. Of course, if he got his way, she'd be staying for the rest of her vacation. Although, if he truly had his way about things, she'd stay for the rest of her life... and in his bedroom.
If he had any doubts Buffy hadn’t seen his demon’s face, they were dispelled when she leaned her head on his shoulder as soon as he sat down by her side. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer basking in the knowledge she was safe with him.
Buffy was glad for the comfortable silence in which they settled once they were inside the car, giving her time to process everything she’d gone through in the last hour. It had been quite a lot and probably… no, not probably, she knew if Spike hadn’t shown up, she wouldn’t have been able to get away from Riley.
The only thing she was sure of was that no matter what Spike might be, she was completely safe with him. He had a thousand opportunities today to harm her had he chose to and didn’t. He wouldn’t, couldn’t. He wasn’t like that, wasn’t like Riley. And perhaps deep inside, she’d known all along Spike wasn’t exactly what he seemed.
As they rode towards the estate, she tried to put her finger on exactly what made Spike so different from any other man given the limited amount of time she'd known him. It went so much farther than the obvious. Yes, he was a handsome, sophisticated, mature man, much more so than other men she’d met, but that was not all there was to him.
She went over every encounter, every conversation, smile and look they’d shared. Small pieces of conversations, subtle clues and details she’d dismissed suddenly came rushing together, like pieces of a puzzle of a mystery.
The way he’d gotten rid of Riley at the exhibit; his lack of reflection, the way his eyes would blaze amber at times, the power and physical strength he exuded…
“Your hand is freezing.”
Cold to the touch, he was always cold to the touch.
“…there’s the inconvenience of a slight allergy I have to the sun… If the rays ever touched my skin, I'd go up in a puff of smoke... like a vampire."
Vampire. Was he that? A vampire?
And if so, did it change anything? About how she felt for him? No, it definitely didn’t. He was still the same Spike she was falling in love with and nothing could change that. Ever!
******
She heaved a sigh of relief when Spike finally showed her to her room. Anne had it already prepared when they arrived at the mansion and it was just as magnificent as the rest of the house. Not that she really paid much attention to her surroundings with everything that was running around her head. She was tired, but she knew sleep wouldn’t claim her, not until she’d talked with Spike.
“Well, love, I’ll leave you alone so you can rest.”
“No.”
“No? What do you mean no?” He cocked an inquisitive eyebrow.
“I mean…” she sighed, trying to gather enough courage for what she needed to discuss with him. “I… you… what are you exactly?” she blurted finally. “Because, back in the hotel I saw something... your face was... well, different.”
“Different?” He would’ve blanched if that were actually possible. There went his hopes she hadn’t seen his game-face. Although, she’d seen him and even then she’d come with him? What did that mean?
“Yes, you were all… with the bumpies and the-the… glowy eyes.”
“Perhaps we should discuss this later today once you’ve rested?” he asked.
“No, I think this is something we should discuss now.” She patted the bed to indicate him to sit next to her. “Now, explain, please?”
“I’m not sure where to start,” he sighed, defeated.
“Why don’t you start by telling me the truth?”
“I’ve never told you any lies.” He rose from the bed and started pacing in front of her.
“Might be, but you haven’t been too forthcoming with other information either, have you?”
“It’s not somethin’ you go tellin’ every person you meet, love.”
“Okay, I’ll give you that. But I hope I’m not just any person… or am I?”
“No... no, of course not. You're... much more... And I…” He took in a deep, unneeded breath, stopping in front of her and kneeling down to bring their faces level once again. “Truth is, I didn’t tell you because you’re not just anyone. You’re special, much more so than anyone else I’ve met in a long time and I… I didn’t want to scare you off. I didn’t want you to look at me any differently than you do.” He ran a hand over his face and she was surprised to see it was shaking. Was he really that afraid of her reaction?
“But I wouldn’t… look at you differently I mean. I don’t care what you are, Spike. I trust you, I-I… care for you a-and that won’t change.”
He was speechless for a few seconds, unable to believe what he was hearing, but how could he not when it was written so clearly in her emerald eyes? “Vampire,” he said abruptly.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m a vampire.”
“You're a vampire? Like… like Dracula?” Wow, talk about mind-boggling revelations.
“I'm nothing like that tosser,” he scoffed. “Poncy bugger owes me eleven pounds, for one thing.”
“You-you mean… he’s real?”
“’Course he’s real. As real as you and me.”
“But he's not just a regular vampire, is he? I mean, he has special powers, right?”
“Nothing but showy Gypsy stuff.” He waved his hand dismissively.
“That thing you did with Riley... the day we met—” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “—was that... showy Gypsy stuff, too?”
“You noticed that, huh?” He had the decency to look sheepish.
“U-huh. Have you…” she paused, unsure if she should ask, unsure if she really wanted to know, but at the same time needing to know. “Have you ever tried to do that... with me?” She held her breath while waiting for his answer.
“No, no. I haven’t, couldn’t...” Nervously, he ran a hand over his face and hair. “I wouldn’t dream of insultin’ you like that, Buffy. Never.”
“But... why Riley then?”
He chuckled. “He tried to get in the way of me talkin’ to you. But to be honest… considerin’ how long it’s been since I’ve used my... powers of persuasion on anyone… it had to be someone really weak-minded for it to work as well as it did.”
“Weak-minded is not a strong enough word for what he is.”
“I agree, but I wouldn’t want to offend your sensibility by calling him what he deserves.”
“Fair enough. So… you really didn’t use any… how do you call it?”
“Thrall,” he supplied.
“You didn’t use any of that thrall on me then? Never ever?” The way he smiled and shook his head before answering was all the reassurance she needed.
“Never ever, love.” He lowered his voice to a seductive purr when informing her, “You wanted to put your hands on my tight hot little body all on your own.”
“Uhh,” she gasped when he waggled his brows, teeth curling behind his tongue. “Ego much?”
“Huge... as a matter of fact.” He couldn’t help himself, so elated he hadn’t scared her away with all this information.
“Ugh, whatever.” She waved a hand off, before an idea crept into her mind. “Can I see your grr-face?”
“WHAT?!” She couldn’t have said what he thought, could she?
“You heard me.”
“Why would you want to see… that?”
“I don’t know, I just want to. Humor me?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. ‘S not pretty.”
“Pleeeease?”
“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“I won’t, I promise. Now… do it.”
Knowing he was defeated, he closed his eyes so he didn’t have to witness the horror in her eyes when she saw the true face of his demon for the first time and sighed deeply, concentrating on bringing it to the forefront. He didn’t understand why she would want to see him wearing his game-face. It made no sense at all. At least to him. Not that he could ever deny her anything anyway, no matter how much it could cost him like in this case. Although… perhaps it wouldn’t be too bad? After all, if she hadn’t run away scared by now, it wasn’t likely she would when being faced with the mask of his beast, especially since she was the one to ask to see it. And still, knowing that, he simply couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.
Buffy couldn’t give credit to her eyes when she saw the smoothness of Spike’s face give way to ruggedness. There wasn’t that much difference. Not really. Not to her, at least. There were some ridges across his forehead and they made his eyes appear… well, hooded. Not that she would’ve seen much of them anyway, since he had them closed. She yearned to see their color—the few glimpses she’d had before not being nearly enough for her. To see if they still carried the same intensity, the same emotions that she’d seen mirrored in the blue eyes she’d come to treasure.
Unable to stop herself, she slowly lifted a hand to his face. Gently, lovingly, she caressed every ridge, crease and edge until he opened his eyes. Surprise burned deep within the amber depths, surprise and what looked a lot like… was that adoration?
He couldn’t believe she was touching him. Not even now that he was seeing her doing it could he trust his eyes. He truly believed she’d be frightened, run away when he let her see, well, him. She hadn’t. Instead, she was exploring his creature’s visage, looking at him with all the innocent wonder of a child unaware of the danger he actually posed. And there, in her eyes, he swore he saw... acceptance?
She gazed at him in awe, still not quite believing he was allowing her to be this close to him, that he’d trust her enough to share this part of himself with her. Then came a sound, a soft rumble that seemed to start in his chest and when she touched him there with her free hand, grew in intensity, the vibrations spreading up her arm and into her body through their connection. Was he… purring?
Spike nuzzled the hand that was still caressing his face and brought one of his up to cover it before kissing her palm softly, carefully, obviously trying his best not to hurt her with his fangs.
She melted at the tender gesture. He was still her Spike, no matter which face he wore. He was her angel, her knight in shining armor, her art professor, her… everything.
Leaning towards him, she kissed him full on the mouth. Her tongue sliding over the seam of his lips until he granted her access inside to caress his fangs and coax his tongue out to dance with hers. She needed him to understand, to show him she was willing to accept all of him. Vampire and man.
“This doesn’t change how I feel about you, nothing would,” she said as she leaned back to look deeply into his eyes, placing her hand over his unbeating heart.
He pulled her back into his arms then, embracing her tightly and whispered into her ear, “Thank you, kitten.”
Relief coursed through him at her acceptance, at the way she’d embraced what he was, everything he was, not just the part he’d shown her before. Only now could he admit his heart would’ve been broken inexorably had she rejected him. But she hadn’t rejected him, not at all and now… now that he had her in his arms and she was holding him to her so sweetly, so trustingly, he had to acknowledge—if only to himself—this had been the moment when he’d fallen completely, irrevocably in love with her.
Christ, if before realizing this he’d known it would be difficult to part ways with her when her vacation ended, how would he be able to cope with it now?
tbc
Still with me? Hope I didn't lose all of you with the long absence and that you enjoyed the chapter. As always, if you are inclined to let me know your thoughts on the chapter, I'd love to know.
*hugs*
Mari
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Author's Chapter Notes:
After almost a month here you have the next chapter. I went through hell to get it done. At first I was drained after writing chapter 11, then I started writing some scenes for the next chapter, went away on vacation to Antigua (which was delicious, btw), then muse decided to be difficult and disappeared for almost two weeks. Believe me when I say I was beyond frustrated at not being able to write… at all. Oh well, it’s over now *clings to muse* and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry for the long wait.As always, a thousand thanks to all of you who take the time to read and review. You wouldn’t believe how much your comments helped, especially while trying to get over my writer’s block. Thank you especially to Jane, who let me know I had messed up when I posted the last time, I can't answer you individually since I erased the chapter, so I do it here. Thank you to my lovely IBE, who took the time to beta this chapter for me and for being there for me, even with her hubby at home. Love you, darling! *smooches* And to Tammy for the read-through and assuring me it wasn’t as choppy as I thought it was. *hugs*