Chapter Seventeen

There were real moments when the little things touched her. Actually rubbed up against her and melted into her heart. Walking beside the boy she was sleeping with, her hand curled lovingly inside his, Willow wondered when it was that she’d accepted letting go of the majority of these moments. Riley was far from the grand love of her life, and the one that she’d pictured as her happily-ever-after had dumped her the second revenge had gripped her by its savage claws, but he was hers and he loved her. He wasn’t honest with her—but Willow knew he loved her. Riley was simple like that. He loved his folks, he adored his boss, and he slept with girls with whom he planned on spending his life. It made her feel minutely guilty, but in typical Willow-style, she managed to not just shrug it aside but to stick steadfastly to her agenda.

It worked out nicely that her agenda rubbed shoulders so beautifully with Riley’s mission.

She didn’t think Riley even suspected that she knew what he did when he wasn’t dressed super casual and enticing her into bed. When they weren’t having picnics on campus or dancing at the Bronze. She’d been so careful when using magic around him so that he didn’t suspect she was anything but a harmless co-ed happily dating the TA of her favourite Professor. Up until now that had suited her fine—more than fine, it had been perfect. But now she needed the kind of power the Initiative could offer and she wasn’t exactly sure about how to reveal herself to her lover without him freaking out on her. Not that Riley was the freaking out sort.

It was all kinds of romantic that he led her to a recognisable tree just out of sight of the university grounds and turned swiftly to trap her against the trunk. His eyes gleamed with passion and while Willow’s heart picked up an extra beat in anticipation, she wasn’t enjoying his obvious infatuation quite as much as she did when being caught by Buffy wasn’t so fresh on her mind. Still, she submitted to his kiss, knowing more than anything that allowing him to feel cherished would get her the reaction she sought a whole lot better than if she pushed him away.

It wasn’t so hard to do. Riley was a good kisser. He felt nice against her lips and his mouth was warm. Every second he shared with her meant so much to him and that couldn’t fail to touch Willow just a little bit. Couldn’t help but make her wonder if: if Xander hadn’t been torn from her life; if Giles hadn’t been a calculated slaughter that had backfired on the other team badly; if Willow hadn’t sunk within the lure of magic and turned her back on humanity completely. There were so many ‘if’s’ that might have altered her relationship with Riley, and yet even then Willow knew it wasn’t going to last. Riley Finn was a soldier to the last and he would be happier with a girl who understood how that side of him ticked—how any side of him ticked. Willow was too preoccupied in the scenes behind the man to really care.

“Willow?” His lips clung to hers even though it was obvious he wanted to initiate conversation and the redhead was more than happy to delay whatever it was he wanted to ask her. His self-discipline was strong though, and he pulled away from her with a moan, lust still glistening in his eyes.

She felt dazed and a little cheated. His sensual demands were working well to shift the worry from her shoulders and Willow felt a little resentful that he was bringing reality into their interlude so soon.

“Uhuh?” Non-committal was her. Not that it ever worked. The first night she’d slept with him had been motivated by nothing more than a need to feel something—anything to dull the pain that welled up inside her sometimes. Moments like those were rare, but the decision to have Buffy removed from Sunnydale forever—no matter what it would take—hadn’t settled on her conscience half as well as she’d hoped. Still, it was a decision she refused to waver from and seeking solace with a man—any man—had become an urgency and she was ever grateful for the appearance of Riley in her life. Consuming him had given her a renewed focus—had awarded her new power through knowledge he was unaware he’d given her. But it had also caught her heart and the eventual end of what they had, while not love on her part, would still smart when it happened.

“I was hoping you’d come home with me for Spring break? Maybe get to know my family a little bit?” He looked so hopeful and yet all Willow could do was gape.

“Um, to…Iowa?” She said it like it was a place she’d never heard of, never mind wanted to visit. There was no holding back the nervous smile though, because no matter how much she refused to give her heart to Riley, it thrilled her that he wanted her to meet his parents. It was one of those ‘next steps’ in a relationship and it bowled her over that they’d even reached that.

And then it horrified her that she’d be expected to be meek and nice to people as simple as Riley. Oh no, she couldn’t go there. Besides, she had more than a few issues she had to clear up before she could think herself safe to do anything.

“Oh Riley…I…can’t believe you want me to meet your family. That’s so sweet,” she avoided and then jumped into his arms and sucked his tongue insistently between her teeth. He reacted in the way she’d intended—in the way she’d known he would. What man ever knocked back deep kisses with a hot and needy woman unzipping his pants?

He drew back sharply, his eyes wild and chest heaving for breath. “Willow, as much as I love you, I don’t think we should do this here. I’m a TA. I can’t afford to get that kind of a reputation.” He stopped and then singed her with the brightest of his smiles. “I have a free bed though.” He was dragging her away before she had the chance to feel disappointed. As a distraction technique it had done its job and for that Willow was relieved. Hopefully once they reached his room she could tie him up in so many knots he forgot all about his parents and impending trips to states best left to farmers than witches. If she couldn’t then she was obviously doing something monumentally wrong. No guy should be thinking of his mother while a girl was naked and writhing in his lap.

Not that Riley was your typical guy.

Willow grinned as she allowed herself to be tugged back to campus. How could she be sorry? Her body was fired up and ready for action and Riley was going to find a little session of truth was just what the professor ordered.

Two birds, one stone.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Will had traipsed all over Sunnydale and come up with little more than a bad taste in his mouth, and that had come from an unconscious drug addict collapsed outside one of the seedier bars in town. One slurp had been enough to warn him why the unfortunate had been spared his life—exposed on the Hellmouth at night as he was. The git reeked with death, despite his veins still pumping blood sluggishly through his wiry thin body. He was a bit on the nose too and if there was one thing that had the majority of vamps running, it was a lack of hygiene in their human prey. This one was really beginning to pong and Will wondered what he was bloody thinking, not noticing it earlier. He was too preoccupied—too worried about Liz’s inattention and disinterest regarding her own life.

He hadn’t been interested enough to imprint the witch’s scent to memory so now he had a snowball’s chance in Hell of tracking her. Only after two hours of useless wandering was he convinced that he might actually have been better off to go and consult with Liz and her new chums—sniff their witch a little so that he had something to work with. Knowing his bum luck, though, she’d have taken offence and magicked his balls off.

A low growl erupted from his throat, frustration evident in the tightly controlled muscles of his body. He was ready to spring, rip something’s head right off its shoulders and he was getting bloody impatient with waiting. Used to be you could visit the Hellmouth and meet up with all manner of uglies. Now the place felt deserted—almost a ghost town, if you didn’t count the humans. Liz had told him she’d been a busy little slayer lately but he hadn’t thought she’d had this kind of impact.

Eventually Will found himself close to campus, perched on a ledge and guarded heavily by trees, wondering just what it was about humans and the way they made themselves fodder for the enemy by sneaking out on their own for romantic trysts and the like. The next second he was thanking them for the baser impulses making them stupid as a head of thick, auburn hair caught his eye.

“Bingo.” He smirked, crouching low and leering at the vision below him. Little Miss Not-So-Happy was attempting to persuade her boy toy toward the carnal side of things and it looked like she’d been swayed to be a little less bad. It suited her, Spike thought. This bad girl image she’d assumed through adversity. Not that the Too-Scared-Of-Her-Own-Shadow Willow wasn’t a bundle of laughs as well. But this one made it easy to want to kill her whereas the other one made a bloke feel a tad guilty.

“That’s right, little girl. Taunt the Big Bad all you like, because he’s found you now and he’s going to wipe you right off the face of the…Arrrgggghhhh!”

Pain jagged through every nerve in his body and Spike felt his eyeballs bulge out of their sockets. It was the most revolting sensation he’d ever experienced and he didn’t have command over even the smallest muscle to get himself free of whatever had him trapped. But he’d twist himself loose eventually—as soon as the electro shocks that speared through him dulled enough for him to once again feel his fingers and toes.

When he heard the sizzling of the hair on his arms, Will felt panic set in. Pure, unadulterated panic and for a second he wished he’d already told Liz who her talisman buddy was—risked the fallout of telling her he was in love with her—because if that water had already flowed under the bridge then he may have stood a chance of rescue. As it was, she hated him in a manner that didn’t bode well for his survival.

The pain stepped up a notch and Will felt awareness slipping into darkness. His last thought before he hit the ground hard was that at least he hadn’t been bested by the witch. That way lay instant incineration. At least this way he had the time to close his eyes.

And close them he did.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It isn’t true.

The darkness echoed around her in agreement with her denial, and yet it was dishonest with its sincerity. Liz felt the changes vibrate around her and wondered how she’d been so blind—and how stupid.

For two hours she’d been sitting frozen on her hill, shivering in reaction to Spike’s coldly delivered bombshell, begging for a non-communicative non-Spike person to answer her call. She’d begged him to tell her he wasn’t a vampire—that he wasn’t someone who’d once vowed to kill her as a playful pastime of his eternity. The lack of replies had not only been quiet, they’d been deafeningly so in a way she couldn’t ignore. Someone was refusing to answer her—or they couldn’t, and as she’d found Willow hadn’t decimated him on his arrival the last time they’d chatted through the talisman, Liz rather accepted this non-response to be from temper more than destruction.

Dammit! Why won’t you just tell me? If you’re Spike, say so. If you aren’t, put me out of my misery. Please?

The tears that flowed in careless ribbons down her cheeks made her angry. Made her furious for trusting in an unsighted friend. God, why had she been so stupid? Why had she taken a jewel from the Powers and put all her heartache into the relationship it gifted her? And more so—she’d flirted. She’d felt a depth of connection that should have been enough to refute the possibility of it being with Will.

But everything made too much sense now with his face filling in the year long blank.

It doesn’t matter, she denied hotly—bravely. It doesn’t matter to me who you are.

She paused, emotions swirling at a terrific pace in her heart.

Because no matter what you are or who you are, you’ll always be a vampire. And vampires? I slay.





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