Chapter 20 - Confrontations
Buffy waited at the bar, thinking, thinking… She was scared of what she’d realised. She knew she cared about Spike, but this was more than in a friendly way. Her heart clenched at the image of Drusilla and Spike locked tightly together backstage. He’d been open, he’d wanted them to become something more before and she’d refused. Now, it was too late.
“Buffy,” Tara said and Buffy snapped out of it, glancing at her friend with sad eyes.
“I’m sorry I ran away. I just needed to… you know. Get away a bit.”
Tara nodded, tilting her head as her kind eyes tried to read her. “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have given you that drink.”
Buffy shook her head, feeling bad. “It was not your fault Tara. I took it and like you said, alcohol and Buffy not mixy. I’m sorry.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“Actually I’m waiting for Spike to come back but thanks anyway.”
Tara’s eyes widened as if she’d just realised something important. “It was you!”
“Us?” Buffy questioned and Tara nodded.
“The fight. I was in the back store but I heard it. Spike punched someone?”
“Lindsey McDonald,” Buffy responded. It was no point in lying, first of all, Tara was her friend and second – they’d find out soon enough. “He… He came on to me on the dance floor. Kinda didn’t let me go and I guess Spike saw it and… Well, you know what happened.”
“Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
Buffy gave Tara a reassuring smile. She was touched by the way Tara cared for her. “No. Spike made sure of that.”
“Hey, can I get some help over here?”
Tara turned her gaze towards a man standing a few feet away waiting to order. With a look of regret she turned back to Buffy and Buffy nodded, to make sure Tara understood it was okay for her to go. “You go. I’ll be all right.”
Half an hour later, Buffy was sitting in Spike’s Desoto as he pulled the car to a stop outside her cottage. The engine became quiet and they both remained in the silence that had been there since they left the Wicca. Not knowing were to start, Buffy found her fingernails very interesting and Spike’s hands was gripping the steering wheel tightly.
The darkness had fallen over them, the only light was from the moon that shone upon the car’s front.
“Spike – “
“Buffy –
Both spoke at the same time. Awkwardly they smiled at each other and went silent again. Buffy shook her head. The alcohol had worked directly on her but since she only took two or three smaller glasses the effect was starting to subside. She guessed she’d get away with a small headache tomorrow.
Deciding to take the first step, Buffy spoke quietly. “Thanks. For before, I mean.”
Spike shrugged. “It was nothing. Couldn’t let Lindsey get away with that.”
Buffy averted her gaze for a moment before frowning. “So you didn’t think I wanted to dance with him?”
“No,” he said, then suddenly becoming uncerain. “Or… I didn’t think so, I mean… You were struggling and it looked like you tried to get away and – “ He trailed off, keeping in eyes on the steering wheel. She wanted to stop me, Spike thought, and I believed it was because the guards were coming, but what if she really asked me to stop because of Lindsey?
“You were right,” Buffy said and Spike turned his head towards her. She saw the confusion in his face and clarified. “I didn’t want to dance with him and he wouldn’t let me go.”
“Oh,” Spike said, relief filling his voice in an instant. “What was he playing at?”
Buffy shrugged. She really didn’t know. Maybe, he thought that now when Drusilla had Spike she’d be desperate for someone but she couldn’t say that… It was all too real. “I don’t know,” was her answer.
They became quiet again. This wasn’t like the relaxing silence she and Spike usually had. This was something very uncomfortable and she hated it. They had, during their short time together, never felt this itchy in each other’s company. Buffy sighed.
“Spike, I’m sorry I ruined your gig,” she said and he rose and eyebrow.
“That’s what you’re thinking about?”
Buffy scowled at him. “Well, yeah. Your band mates didn’t look too happy.”
“They didn’t care and even if they did, what does it matter? He was coming on to you, you didn’t like it and he didn’t get that. Of course they understood. By the way, talking about band mates, they said you were backstage.”
Buffy let her eyes fall to the floor and she felt her cheeks start to blush. “Uh, yeah. Willow let me.” Spike frowned and tilted his head.
“Then why didn’t I see you?”
She bit her lip before answering. “You were kind of busy,” she murmured sinking back in the seat. Spike only looked more and more confused as he raised his scarred eyebrow.
“Busy? I wasn’t busy.”
“You sure seemed like it,” she muttered. Spike sighed, she could be pretty stubborn all right.
“Busy in… what way?”
Buffy let out a sad sigh and let her head rest against the door frame of the car. “In a Drusilla kind of way.”
Spike closed his eyes for a second. So she had seen Drusilla in there… But that still didn’t explain why she ran off? Drusilla and he had only talked… Well, at first, then she started to flirt with him and touch him, just as she’d done those times when they’d been together. Surprised, he realized that he felt nothing but disgust for her. If she would’ve done the same thing maybe two years ago, he practically would’ve crawled on his knees. But now, when she had asked him if he wanted to go somewhere more private his answer had been to throw her out.
“You saw her, huh? But, pet, I would’ve been glad to be interrupted,” he smiled and Buffy mentally slapped herself for weakening when she saw that beautiful smile.
“Didn’t look like you wanted to be interrupted,” Buffy muttered under her breath, barley high enough for Spike to comprehend. When he made out the words the frown on his face only became deeper.
“I didn’t? Well, you understand that I sure didn’t enjoy having her in there?” When Buffy didn’t answer Spike let out a sigh and couldn’t resist the accusing tone in his voice. “You believe I enjoyed it, don’t you?”
Buffy straightened up in her seat, still not looking at him but she didn’t have to. She could feel his eye boor into her.
“I don’t know, I… I didn’t see your face.”
“Well, then you can’t know!” Spike exclaimed throwing up his hands.
“Oh well, I didn’t see your face but you sure didn’t push her away when she pressed herself to you and grabbed your hand and – “ Buffy trailed off and rolled her eyes. I’m pathetic, she cursed herself. I’m sounding like the jealous girlfriend, only… I’m not her.
Spike was watching her troubled face and tried to understand what she was thinking which wasn’t an easy task. He tilted his head and a smirk formed on his lips. “You’re jealous.”
Buffy whipped her head towards him. “Jealous? I’m jealous?” She started to laugh, trying not to sound too fake. “I don’t think so, buddy.”
Spike nodded. “Aha. So, can you explain why you got so mad about me and Drusilla talking?”
Buffy didn’t answer, she just glanced at her hands and Spike started to become frustrated so, he added, “and maybe doing something more…”
Once again, her head whipped around. “What?” Buffy shook her head. These thought, these questions were making her dizzy. “No, that doesn’t make me jealous.”
“Really?” Spike questioned, clearly amused and Buffy stubbornly shook her head.
“Nope. Not the slightest.”
“Anyone ever told you you’re a bad liar?” Buffy gave him a mad glare and Spike chuckled. “Sorry, kitten. But it’s the truth.”
“I lie good, I – “ Buffy closed her eyes in frustration and let out a heavy sigh. “Why, oh, why me…”
“We’ve got one thing clear, Buffy. You were jealous so – “
“I was not – “
“ - is that why you agreed to dance with Lindsey? To make me jealous?” Spike went on without paying attention to her lame comebacks. Buffy raised an eyebrow.
“Did it look like I wanted to dance with Lindsey?”
“You danced for a while before you started to struggle,” Spike mumbled and it was Buffy’s turn to smirk knowingly at him.
“You were jealous!”
“Yes, I was! And I’m proud enough to admit it.”
Buffy opened her mouth, then she closed it again. He was jealous? Why? He had Drusilla back so did it matter who she danced with?
“You were jealous?” She asked in a barley audible voice. Spike had kept his gaze at the moon since he had admitted that he also was jealous and Buffy started to become frustrated when he didn’t answer. “But why? I mean, you’ve got Drusilla back you shouldn’t care about what a friend thinks and – “
She didn’t have time to finish the sentence before Spike had crushed his mouth to hers. Buffy let out a gasp in surprise and struggled for a few seconds before giving in. His mouth moved over hers, nipping at her lip as he brought his hand up to her hair and let his finger’s entwine in it. He moaned when she opened her mouth to him and released one of his hands from her hair and let it travel down her waist to bring her closer to him. Oh god, how could I have resisted this? Buffy thought. She felt as if she never wanted to let go, but soon breathing became an issue and they were forced to break apart, both panting for air. Spike rested his forehead against hers and let the hand in her hair drop, but he still kept the other around her waist.
Buffy gasped for air with her eyes closed. That was the most incredible kiss she had ever experienced, so why did she feel so… guilty? Oh, yeah, right –
“Drusilla,” she whispered and Spike couldn’t suppress a chuckle as he touched her cheek.
“I’m touched, you remembered my name.”
Buffy pulled back and nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. “I’m serious,” she said, eyeing him and he sighed.
“What about her?”
“You’re back together with her, you can’t just go and kiss anyone you want. I don’t know if you remembered but since you’re not single anymore you haven’t got the – “
Spike shook his head and put up his hand to stop her. “Wait. What?”
“You can’t just go kissing everyone, you could do that when you were single but – “
“No, no. Not that. The Drusilla part.”
“You two back together?” She asked clearly confused and Spike’s eyes widened.
“That’s it!” He exclaimed.
Buffy jumped at his sudden outburst. “Huh?”
“Us. Me and Dru getting back together.”
“Yeah, what about it? You wanted to tell me or what because I already knew and –“
Spike suddenly started to laugh and Buffy’s face crumbled into a glare. “What now?” She snapped, annoyed with him for being so light hearted about this.
“You,” he laughed, “thought we were back together? Me and Dru?”
“Yeah…” She said, tentatively and Spike just shook his head before becoming serious.
“Buffy.” His eyes fell on her hands and he took them in his. “I. Am not. Back. With. Dru.”
“What? Oh, come on, Spike!” Buffy exclaimed, dragging her hands away from his. “I saw you. Don’t deny it.”
Spike took a hold of her hands once again, trying to make her understand. “I am not. I can’t believe after all I told you about her you would think I’d even want to date her again? Have you been listening? She’s a lying, cheating – “
“But you loved her. Maybe you still do,” Buffy said, feeling her heart clench. Here it would come, the truth. But she was surprised.
“No. Well, yes, I did but not anymore.”
Spike didn’t say anything, he waited for Buffy to answer him but she just stared as if not believing him. “I’m not being the other woman, Spike,” she said in a menacing voice and Spike let out frustrated growl.
“Haven’t I told you? I’m not seeing Drusilla!”
Once again she was quiet for a few moments. “I’m not kidding.”
“Neither am I.”
Buffy glanced at him suspiciously. “Are you sure?”
He shook his head, clenching his jaw while his eyes glanced out the window. “You’re unbelievable, Summers.” His fiery eyes snapped back to Buffy. ”Seriously! What have I been trying to tell you the last bloody minutes? I thought I made it clear that I do not want to go back to Drusilla! She’s just there to see whether I have moved on or not and – “
“And have you?”
For what felt like the hundredth time Spike sighed. “Again, thought I made that clear. She’s weird, Drusilla. She likes to test people and that’s exactly what she’s doing now. As for before… You must’ve walked in just when she started that testing thing. She wants to see if I’m still interested and I threw her out. If you don’t believe me, ask Xander! Ask Gunn, ask – “
“Spike?”
Spike stopped his rambling his hands frozen in a counting gesture as he glanced at Buffy. “Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
Then she kissed him.
So what do you say? Please tell me :) Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I don't have words for how happy I am! All I can say is thank you so much! Thanks for all the kind reviews and nice feedback. I was shocked to see that I got 14 reviews for the last chapter. Wow, it may not be much to everyone but for me it's more than I ever could imagine :) Thank you!
Also, thanks to my wonderful beta Chriss for helping me out and for coming up with the name of this chapter.
Also, thanks to my wonderful beta Chriss for helping me out and for coming up with the name of this chapter.