Author's Chapter Notes:
I know it's been forever and more since the last update and I'm really, really sorry about it. Life's been crazy. But now I got a week off school and perhaps some more time to write lots and lots of chapters :) Thanks all of you who are still with me! There's not much left now!



To Sharonhi I tried to email you back but hotmail wouldn't let me, if you want me to send you an email when I update, please send me your addres, I got a weird one from hotmail :)
Chapter 37 - Truth

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God… He’s here! Here-here! In Sunnydale. What the hell is he doing in Sunnydale?

She’s pregnant? And who’s he? Oh, God, she’s beautiful…


Buffy opened her mouth, trying to form the words but… what words? What could she possibly say to him? And on top of it, her throat was absolutely dry.

Spike looked like he was having similar problems, although his eyes were travelling from her face, to her stomach and back again. He was almost imitating a fish on land, chipping for breath, the way his mouth opened and closed over and over again.

Dawn Summers was still standing in the door way, realizing by the way her sister and the British guy were looking at each other that he did not know about Buffy. And Buffy sure didn’t expect to see him here. Feeling awkward by the silence Dawn cleared her throat, trying to get their attention but it was like they couldn’t stop staring at one another.

“Uh, guys? Buffy?” Buffy merely let her eyes meet her sister’s for a second, before they flicked back to Spike. “Buffy, your friend came by and …”

“Buffy, you okay?”

The voice of a man was like a wake up call for Spike and he was ripped away from his staring. His eyes instead moved to the figure moving up behind Buffy, a man.

Buffy, too, had turned around and saw Robin coming towards her, his gaze going to Spike with a questioning look. “Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, fine, Robin,” Buffy answered, forcing a smile. It did not convince Robin though, and he once again looked at Spike, reaching out his hand.

“I’m Robin Wood.”

“Spike Giles,” Spike mumbled dogged. Robin raised one eyebrow when he heard the British accent come to the surface, slowly realizing who this must be. Turning back to Buffy, he asked:

“You didn’t mention your friend was coming over, then I would’ve let you go earlier.”

Feeling the need to look away from Spike she insisted on meeting her friends stare instead. “I didn’t know he was coming,” she mumbled.

“Is that right?”

Spike felt the need to step in. “Yeah, I came uninvited. I was… I wanted to surprise Buffy and visit her. But I guess that I got the bigger surprise…” He finished, almost a whisper but still loud enough for them to hear him.

Buffy felt her face heat up. “Robin, listen, can I call you later? I… I need to talk to Spike here.”

The principal nodded, knowingly. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” He kissed her on the cheek and then left the trio in silence once again. Spike couldn't help but feel jealous as the man seemed to be so close to Buffy.

“So, uh… As interesting as this is I think I may be going inside to… Uh, well… I’ll just go,” Dawn murmured and slowly approached the entrance, closing the door after her.

Spike scratched his neck, uncomfortable by the awfully awkward silence that surrounded them. “So, uh…”

“Spike, what… What are you doing here?”

He forced a tense smile. “What, you don’t call, don’t write… Just wanted to check how you were doing cause we haven’t really talked since…”

Trailing off Buffy felt like dirt for causing the man she loved this obvious pain, because even if he was a good actor and hid it pretty well she could see it in his eyes. He was heartbroken. A part of her was glad he cared for her so much but the other half, the bigger one, told her how selfish and cruel she’d been.

“Yeah…” Buffy mumbled, still in her own thoughts. “Listen, Spike. I know you must be wondering why I left and I owe you a big explanation but – “

“I did wonder,” Spike interrupted, watching her closely until she noticed where his eyes were going. She also looked at her rounded stomach and back at him. “But I understand now.”

Buffy frowned. “You do?”

“Although, a premonition would’ve been nice. Could’ve spared the confusion…” Feeling like he was thirteen years old again he slowly looked away with a shy smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. All that was written in them were pain.

“I’m sorry, I… Can, can we not do this on the front porch?” She asked, feeling several curious faces watch the couple from the nearby houses. Spike nodded and she smiled at him gratefully. She walked past him towards the front door and he followed her inside.

Seated in the living room Spike clasped his hands together and rested his arm on his shaking knees. Why am I so nervous about this? It shouldn’t be too hard, I just want an explanation…

Buffy had disappeared with a quick apology concerning her sister and Spike supposed she wanted to be able to talk to him alone and not risk her sisters young, curious ears overhear them.

He looked about the room and took it in. It really felt like a home, nice and comfy. Not like his apartment did, he realized. This was a personal room, carefully decorated. He guessed it must be her mom who had done it.

Hearing footsteps coming from the stairs, Spike’s heartbeat increased rapidly, her appearance didn’t make the matter better either. She had changed from her working suit to a pair of jeans and a large sweater which was saying ‘Sunnydale High’ on it. Spike thought that it must have been from her own time at the school. Buffy’s hair was hanging loosely around her shoulders and it made her look like an angel. No matter how baggy clothes or messed up hair she would have – she’d always be beautiful.

Buffy clasped her hands together nervously and spotted an empty chair in front of him, by purpose ignoring the empty seat on the sofa. Although he knew it was probably easier if she wasn’t sitting too close to him, he couldn’t help but feel his heart clench.

“So, uh… How’s everything in Cornwall?” Buffy started and Spike met her eyes, debating with himself whether to tell her he’d been a wreck for the past weeks. Finally deciding on not to, he shrugged.

“It’s all right, I guess.”

“Surfing?” Buffy got out, the simple word making her heart clench as she remembered the day she realized they couldn’t be together.

“Practice hasn’t been going that well lately, actually,” he mumbled. “My friend’s helping the kids out at the moment.”

“Oh…”

“And you?”

“Good, good… Much to do at work, though. I don’t know what’s gotten into the kids, really. I’ve had more students in my office the last weeks than I’ve ever had.”

“You work with that man?” Buffy gave him a questioning look. “The guy who was here earlier, Robin or whatever his name was.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, realizing who he was referring to as she studied the weird look on his face. Was he jealous? “He’s my boss, and friend.”

“Just friend?” Spike asked, not being able to hide the jealousy from clouding his voice.

“Just my friend,” she clarified and Spike nodded. But there was still one question he dreaded to ask but he knew it was coming.

“Willow didn’t tell me you were coming,” Buffy said before he could ask. Spike tilted his head with a furrowed expression.

“You talked to Willow?”

“Yeah, she called me earlier today. Just wanted to check how I was doing, I guess.”

“Does… Does she know you’re uh…”

He trailed off, his hands gesturing towards her stomach. Buffy felt her cheeks start to burn and a slight dizziness getting to her. As frightening and scary as this was, she had to tell him. The sooner the better.

“No, she doesn’t. And about that-”

“How do you feel about it?”

How do I feel? Buffy felt confused, he hadn’t even asked if she wanted him in her life or anything. This whole situation was starting to get uncomfortable.

“I’m… I’m excited, scared of course, but I feel kind of comfortable considering the circumstances.”

“I see.” Misreading her words, Spike automatically started to think that maybe she had told Angel but that he didn’t want the baby. Soddin’ ponce, how could he just leave her like that?

“Not that it’s really any of my business but seeing you as my friend,” he started, glancing towards the floor, “I just wanted to make sure you can do this, without him I mean.”

Confused? Me? Hell yeah. “Him?”

Spike continued like he’d never heard her question. “So you’re staying here with your mum and sis?”

Nodding, Buffy answered. “Yeah, my mom didn’t want me to live on my own and I had already let my friend take over my apartment while I was gone so.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I ask but… how come you’re not living with him?” Spike asked curiously.

Buffy ran a hand through her hair, starting to get irritated with the small hints. “Okay, who’s this him you’re referring to all the time?”

Spike looked at her as if she was crazy. “You of all people should know who I’m talking about,” he finished with a sad smile but Buffy clasped her hands together to control her emotions.

“No. I don’t. Enlighten me.”

“Oh, come on, you’re not gonna make me say that ponce's name are you?” Spike shouted, suddenly frustrated with her when she showed no response of understanding. “Bloody hell. Angel!”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Angel?”

“Yes, him,” he murmured and looked away from her. Ashamed of feeling this jealous just by saying his name.

“What about Angel?”

Looking back at her he gave her a look and then shook his head. “This is silly, Buffy. If you’re just doing this to patronize me, don’t.”

“Doing what!” Buffy exclaimed, tired of his weird behavior. “What are you saying? What does Angel have to do with this?”

“Angel? The father of you child maybe?”

Buffy stared at Spike in complete bewilderment for what felt like minutes before all the pieces began to fall into place. He hadn’t even thought about that it might be his, he instantly believed it was Angel’s.

“What, Spike,” Buffy said in a much calmer voice, mirroring his movements and leaning her arms on her knees to get closer to the man in front of her. “It’s not Angel’s.”

Spike’s eyebrows rose in confusion as he stared at her. “But… Your sister said –“

“Dawn doesn’t know anything, it’s only her guesses. She’s never seen me with anyone but him during the last year.” Ignoring all the thoughts of staying away from him, she reached out her hand and took his in her small one, instantly remembering the familiar feeling.

“Spike,” she whispered, forcing him to look at her. “It’s yours.”





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