The night was dark, and it was raining. Inside the car Drusilla pouted, glancing over at Spike who was siting in the passenger seat. ‘You’re still mad at me.’ She let out a miserable sigh, her attention now back on the road.
Spike snorted. ‘I’m not mad, I’m bloody pissed off!’ He glared at her, but she refused to meet his eyes. ‘How long did it take this time, Dru? A day? Less? How long since you promised me that it wouldn’t happen again?’
She looked at him then, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry, Spike. I’ve been…’
‘Don’t!’ He rolled his eyes. ‘I’m really not in a mood for this.’ She let out a whimper, and the tears started rolling down her cheeks. For some reason, that only made him angrier. ‘Oh bloody hell, will you stop that?! And watch the bleedin’ road.’
‘Why are you being like this?’ Now she sounded more annoyed than upset.
He sighed. ‘I just don’t get it, Dru. You say you love me, but then you always go to that ponce. If it’s him you really want, why don’t you just say so?’
‘It’s not like that.’ The sadness in her voice was back. ‘You know my Angel means nothing to me. It’s you that I…’
‘Save it, Dru, that’s bollocks and you know it! If that was true, you wouldn’t call him my Angel, for one thing.’ It wasn’t the first time they were having this conversation, but suddenly he was just so tired of it all. ‘Just stop the car, I’m out of here.’ Instead of slowing down, Drusilla put her foot down on the accelerator, causing the car to go faster. He gave her an irritated look. ‘I said, stop the bloody car.’
She smiled then, and it was something about that smile that made his skin crawl. ‘I will. If you promise to give me what I deserve.’
He groaned. ‘Forget it.’
Her smile disappeared. ‘If that’s the way you want it, fine. Then I’m not stopping.’
Tired of her games, he just sighed again. ‘Fine, just drive us home then.’ He leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes in frustration. Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder why he kept putting up with this. A part of him knew that their relationship was nothing more than a joke, and he was more than tired of it most of the time. But yet he stayed with her, trying to make it work between them, trying to be what she wanted him to be. Because he was convinced that she, deep down, really did love him, and wasn’t deliberately trying to hurt him. And that was all he really wanted; to love, and to be loved back in return.
Unfortunately, he didn’t love Drusilla, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise. But he did feel something for her, and sometimes, he could almost fool himself into thinking that what he felt was love. The little voice inside his head, screaming at him to leave, that he deserved better than this, he stubbornly choose to ignore.
Because he was convinced that this was his destiny, to go through life unhappy and unloved. There was only one woman he really wanted to be with, and she would never feel the same way about him. Guilty for secretly dreaming of someone else, someone better, he tried even harder to love Drusilla, to please her. But no matter what he did, it was just never enough. And even though his heart wasn’t all in their relationship, it still hurt to find out that Drusilla, again and again, went to find her happiness elsewhere.
Sometimes he wished that she would just leave him, that she would be the one to end their relationship so he wouldn’t have to. Even more, he wished that he would be strong enough to walk away. But he’d tried once and, in fear of what she’d might do if he really did leave her, he didn’t dare trying again. Of course, that only made him hate himself even more for his pathetic weakness.
Feeling the car suddenly make a sharp turn, Spike’s eyes snapped open. He realized that Drusilla had steered the car off the main road, and on to a much smaller. Frowning, he gave her a look of confusion. ‘Where are we going?’ She didn’t answer. ‘Dru? What are we doing here?’ She still didn’t say anything, just kept driving, and it was starting to seriously freak him out.
She smiled a little then. ‘No one will be out here except for us. You can do whatever you want with me, and not a single soul will ever find out.’ Her smile grew wider. ‘The idea turns you on, admit it. You’ll be able to hurt me as much as you’d like…’ She made a pause before finishing; ‘… and then, my sweet William, you can fuck me until I bleed.’
Suddenly he felt sick, staring at her in disbelief. ‘You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me!’ He shook his head in exasperation. ‘It’s not happening, Dru. Turn the car around. Come to think of it, just stop, I’m driving from now on.’
Drusilla didn’t stop, nor did she turn around. Instead she gave him a thoughtful look. ‘You’re not doing it, are you?’
Snorting, Spike rolled his eyes. ‘That’s right, I’m not. Not now, not ever again. This has got to stop, Dru, I mean it.’ He reached over to grab the steering wheel, causing her to let out a furious cry in protest. ‘Dammit, Dru, it’s enough! Stop the bleedin’ car, now!’
She laughed, the sudden fit of rage forgotten. ‘Do you want me to stop?’ Before he could say anything, she went on; ‘Do you want to die, William?’
He froze, staring at her with wide eyes. ‘What the bloody hell are you on about? This isn’t funny, Dru.’
Giggling, she repeated in a sing-song voice; ‘Do you want to die, William? Do you want to die?’
‘Shut up!’ He grabbed the wheel again, intending to force her to stop, or at least slow down. Instead she slapped him, hard on the face. His hand went up to his burning cheek and he glared at her, shock and fury evident on his face. ‘You stupid bint, what the hell’s wrong with you?!’
She laughed again, obviously turned on by his anger. ‘Now, do you want to hurt me?’
He raised his hand without thinking, then, as realization hit him, he lowered it again with a defeated sigh. ‘No.’
Her face fell, and she turned her eyes back to the road. ‘Very well. I won’t ask again.’
For a moment he felt relief washing over him. Then he realized that the speed was still accelerating. ‘Slow down, Dru! You’re going too fast.’
‘It’s time now.’ Drusilla sounded both excited and a little sad as she let go of the steering wheel.
Before he got the chance to even react, the cliff seemed to have appeared from nowhere, and he could hear Drusilla laughing next to him. ‘Dru, watch out for…!’
Everything went black.
“Think I hit my head on the wind screen, passed out for a while. When I woke up, Dru was still unconscious.” Spike shrugged. “I tried to wake her up so I could get her out, but it was so bloody hot. I realized that…”
The car was on fire. Trying not to panic, he fumbled with the seat belt, finally managing to get it open. ‘Dru? Come on, luv, wake up! We have to get out of here.’ He tried to get her seat belt off, but it was stuck. ‘Fuck!’ Then, much to his relief, he could hear the sound of sirens coming closer. Reaching for the door handle, he had to struggle with it for a moment before he managed to get the door to open.
The throbbing pain in his head, from where he’d hit the wind screen, almost made him pass out again, and he dropped to his knees outside the burning car. When he tried to get up, he saw the blood on his hands, and realized that he must had cut them on the broken glass. Scrambling to his feet, he stumbled away from the burning car.
Suddenly there were people everywhere, complete strangers, screaming and crying around him, and he just wanted to tell them to shut up. In a daze, he watched the firemen rushing over to the car, trying to put out the fire that now made it impossible to see anything through the broken windows. He knew then that it was too late, that they wouldn’t be able to save her, that she was already gone. He waited for the pain and grief to hit him, but all he felt was… nothing.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This story is almost over, only two more chapters left. I never thought I'd get this many nice reviews, thank you all so much! I really hope you'll like what's left of the story as well. :)