The quotes in italics are from the album “Dreams of Death” by Flotsam and Jetsam.
Chapter 24
The nightmares started the day after the binding. Daytime was great. Full control of bodily attributes, both human and demonic. But in sleep, the demon could use that tether to Charlotte and invade her mind with thoughts and images. At first, she thought it was just her subconscious playing on the fear of losing control to the demon, but the little beast was crafty, and figured out it could send what it wanted her to see. Charlotte would awake in a cold sweat, her heart pounding. Restful sleep slipped further away, bit by bit, every night.
~+~
December…
The stress was taking a physical toll by Christmas break. Charlotte had to use more concealer under her eyes to hide the dark circles, and she’d just gotten sick. She gratefully got into her car after work, visions of curling up in a blanket with some chicken soup dancing in her head. So tired…
She barely made it home without hitting anything. Charlotte plodded into her apartment, kicked the heat on, and started opening a can of soup. With something in her stomach, she could take one of the new sleeping pills the doctor prescribed.
Two hours later…
“Charlotte?!”
Why was someone shaking her? She needed to sleep! “I’m sleeping…”
“Come on, pet…we were supposed to meet an hour ago, remember? To shop for Dawn? You weren’t answering your phone…” Spike replied, concerned.
She coughed and rolled over on the sofa, pulling the blanket over her head. “Sleep…”
“Lemme look at you,” he insisted, pulling the blanket down. She scrunched up her face in a frown, refusing to open her eyes. “Oh, luv…come on, the sofa’s no place for you to sleep all night,” Spike added, picking her up.
“Hey…” she protested groggily, then coughed again.
He grimaced as her breath hit his face. “Good thing vampires can’t catch colds,” he muttered. Spike put her down gently on the bed and slipped her shoes off. “Char…Charlotte, how long have you been sick?”
“Mmph.”
That’s bloody helpful. Think…what do they say on all those commercials? Well, the coughing kid always has their mum there, but he didn’t think Charlotte would appreciate that. Flipping out his phone, Spike called Dawn and explained the situation. She agreed to stop at the drugstore and head right over. That accomplished, he started thinking of what else might be helpful. A thermometer! Humans always needed their temperature taken. Where, where, where…bathroom?
He rummaged under the sink, bypassing girlie things, and finally came up with a box that said ‘ear thermometer’. Spike shrugged, and read the directions. Easy enough. The digital screen read ‘100.2’. High enough to indicate infection, but not needing the hospital. He sighed in relief, then started pacing about frantically trying to recall anything else.
By the time Dawn knocked on the door, Spike’s hair was curling up in little spikes from running his hands through it so many times. He opened the door, and she laughed.
“You look like a frantic mother hen,” she teased.
“Hello to you, too, Bit,” he replied sarcastically.
“So, where’s the patient?”
“Asleep in bed. I used the ear thingamabob and it said 100.2, I made sure she’s wrapped up in the blankets, and…she has a cough!”
“Spike, if she’s sleeping, it’s a good thing. I’ll leave this stuff by the bed, and I’m sure Charlotte will go to the doctor tomorrow if she feels she needs to,” Dawn reasoned.
“But, but…”
“We get colds and flu and crap. It’s normal. Chill.”
He pouted. “She didn’t answer her phone…”
“And you were sweet to check on her, but now it’s time to go.” Dawn herded him reluctantly to the door. “I’m going to set this stuff down, and then we’re going to leave, ‘kay?”
“Alright,” he muttered. So what if he overreacted every now and again?
Dawn came back, so he locked the door. They walked to his car, where she waited expectantly next to the passenger door.
“What? I took the bus,” she replied.
Spike rolled his eyes and reached over to unlock the door. “Where am I heading?” he sighed in defeat.
“Towards the university?”
He scowled. “You mean to the boy’s… He’s too old for you.”
“As if! It’s only two years!”
“Which counts for a lot at this age! Have you ever been a college-age boy?” Spike retorted.
“No. I was a green energy blob, but so what?”
“The ‘what’ is that I know how blokes his age think and that’s why you need to find a nice group of girls to ‘hang out’ with. Preferably until you’re forty.”
“Spike!”
“Alright, thirty-five.”
“Spiiike!”
He changed the subject. “Is your Christmas shopping done?”
“Not…quite…”
“Then, I’ll drop you off at the mall. Have some errands to run, myself.”
“Buffy’s already protective enough, you know,” she pouted, arms crossed over her chest.
Spike grinned, knowing he’d won, for now. “And with good reason. You want one of those cinnamon pretzels?”
~+~
It was a week to Christmas, and Buffy still didn’t know what to get Spike. Everybody else was already taken care of, but each idea she had for the vampire was just as quickly dismissed as stupid or not personal enough. She thought that the gift would be the perfect way to say ‘I like you’ since she was too big a chicken to actually say it, but it had to be perfect. Too generic or impersonal, and it would just be a gift from a friend. Too far to the other extreme, and he’d think she just wanted to jump his bones again. Which she kinda did, but totally not in the same way they’d been the first time around. Nuh-uh. She wasn’t a heartless user anymore.
So…the perfect Christmas gift…
~+~
“So, did you get Buffy a gift, yet?” Dawn asked, as she munched on a mini-Cinnabon.
“Eh…no…” Spike replied around a garlic pretzel.
“Why not? It’s only a week away!”
“I suppose you got yours, then…”
She grinned smugly. “Yep. Picked up practically everything for everybody on my trip. I thought ahead.”
“Then we’re here, why?”
“Cuz…I…didn’t know someone yet when I was away?”
Spike shook his head. “Bit…isn’t it a bit early to be picking up gifts?”
“We’ve hung out a few times since Thanksgiving,” she replied defensively. “It’s not like I’m going to buy him a bear holding a heart, geeze. You’re always so critical of the boys around me.”
“That’s because you’re a magnet for trouble. What if you went out with a demon that didn’t look like a demon until you were vulnerable? You’d be wishin’ you brought him by ol’ Spike to feel ‘im out.”
“But you already know Connor!”
“Exactly. Has he shared his upbringing? Two sets of memories have to be confusing. He comes from Angel and Darla – do you really see the boy turning out right in the head?”
“You’re just trying to deter me, but it’s not gonna work, you know. I’m 18. I can make up my own mind,” Dawn replied stubbornly.
His eyes softened. “And you’re gorgeous and brilliant and still very young. Don’t be in such a rush…is all I’m sayin’. I want you to be happy, luv, for more than just a fleeting moment.”
She blushed, remembering that he loved her like a sister and just wanted the best for her. “Spike…” Damn vampire’s going to make me cry!
He tossed their wrappers in the trash and stood. “Ready to hit the other half of this bloody circus?”
She smiled. “Okay.”
~+~
Demons are chasing me
Knowing that I can’t run
Teasing and taunting me
Round in my mind…
~+~
“Connor? Can I talk to you for a second?” Angel asked, beckoning the young man into his office.
“Sure, Dad. What’s up?”
“You and Dawn…you’ve been spending time together…?”
“Yeah…she’s cool.”
Angel sat in his desk chair, so Connor took the chair opposite. “’Cool’…okay…well, I just wanted to say - be careful. Buffy…”
“Spike already gave me the ‘hurt her and you die’ talk, Dad. Not that it’s a big deal. I just showed her around school, and we’ve grabbed a burger a couple times. It’s nice having someone else my age who knows all about this crazy stuff.”
His father nodded. “I’m glad, really. You just…don’t want to get on Buffy’s bad side, even by accident…Dawn is…”
“Her only family left. I know. I’m not looking to hook up right now.”
“You’re not?” Angel asked, surprised.
Connor rolled his eyes. “No…I’m not. Know what my big fun is for Christmas break? Preparing for my next English class. Ten books on the reading list, all at least 500 pages. Kinda cuts down on dating time.”
“Oh. You’re still coming over on Christmas Day, though? We have dinner reservations…”
“It’s on my schedule, Dad.”
“Okay,” he replied, relieved.
Connor stood to go and shrugged into his coat. “You know…I know we’ve had our history, but, um…I’m not going to bail on you, okay? So, you can relax…” He smiled, then headed for the exit.
Angel sat at his desk with his own smile, his view of the papers on his desk blurry. “Okay.”
~+~
I keep running and hiding and crying
And falling and trying to get away
Screaming and yelling and calling for help…
~+~
The doctor said she had bronchitis. At least now that she was an adult, they didn’t give her that horrid hot pink pseudo-bubble gum-flavored liquid for it. You got to take a nice big horse pill.
Charlotte had no choice but to finish her shopping on Christmas Eve. It took that many days just to have enough breath to be able to walk around the mall, let alone look like one of the living. She grumbled whenever Spike showed up, looking so eternally healthy, but she was grateful for the Egg Flower Soup he kept bringing by. It smelled good, warmed her tummy, and slid easily down the throat.
She got home from the mall just after dark to find a blond vampire leaning against her door.
“Where have you been, in your condition?” he asked reproachfully, like she was the little girl that snuck outside while she was supposed to be in bed.
“My condition was improved enough that I could finish my shopping. Now, I plan to wrap things, make some hot chocolate, watch a holiday movie, and haul everything down to my mother’s tomorrow. If that’s okay with you,” she sassed.
“You don’t have to get snippy…” He moved aside, taking the bags out of her hand as she went to unlock the door.
“Spike… Look, I know you’ve been looking out for me for months now, but frankly…I’m getting really sick of being treated like a child. I’m not saying it to be mean, I just want you to understand how this has been from my side… I almost expect you to wipe my nose if I sneeze at work!” she replied in frustration
He nodded, set the store bags on the table, and turned to leave. Charlotte quick-stepped to grab his arm.
“Don’t. Hey…” She kicked the front door closed with her foot as she turned him to face her with her hands. Spike defiantly met her gaze, defenses up. “I didn’t say you had to leave. Just…be my friend, okay? I don’t need a guardian tonight,” she added softly.
He deflated, shaking his head in self-derision. “I’m sorry…I’m trying to do the right thing nowadays, and I keep bollocksing it up. Do you know, I used to think the hero thing had to be easy because it looked so boring? Angel didn’t have fun, Slayers never had friends, Watchers lived in tweed suits and ancient texts… Being evil was so…simple…” he ranted.
“All that because of me?” she teased.
Spike chuckled and shook his head. “No…not all. Here in L.A., the reasons to help kept changing, but they were still about me…but I figured out I wanted to do the right thing because I wanted to. ‘S just… Angel picks big fights, and Buffy stops apocalypses, but…”
“What’s your niche?” she supplied.
“Yeah…”
“You’re not happy in L.A.?”
He shrugged. “Well, it’s not my fav’rite city, but the people I care about are here…”
“That doesn’t mean you have to stay, if you fit better elsewhere,” Charlotte replied.
Spike waved off the subject and sat down on the sofa. “Don’t mind me, I’m just being moody. Did your shopping excursion turn out well?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk? You seemed to have a genuine issue on your mind…” she persisted, sitting down next to him.
“I dunno,” he replied, fidgeting with the hem of his black shirt. “I’m usually thinkin’ about somethin’…it doesn’t all leak out my mouth.”
“I figured, or you’d never shut up. Well, if you like your life, don’t change it. If you’re not satisfied, then find something new to do. You’ve been unattached for a while. Maybe you should date?”
His brow arched. “Says the woman that avoids romantic entanglements…”
“I…go…out,” she stuttered.
“Besides playing cards once a week with the birds you work with?” Spike countered.
“Well…it’s been busy…”
“Uh-huh. Look, I’m not casting stones, luv. I know about getting burned. But…you can’t remain a fortress forever.”
“Who says I am? And how did this get turned around on me? It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re sounding way too serious. And how come you’re not holidaying with the Summers’?”
He grimaced. “Full house of Scoobies for the weekend. It’s not my scene.”
“Were you invited?”
“Yeah, but…”
“Then, why are you hiding out here? Isn’t it a good thing, that Buffy wants you around her friends? Do you not…love her anymore?”
“That’s a silly question,” he replied instantly.
“Is it? Feelings can evolve in many directions over time. Do you trust her, yet?”
Spike was quiet for a while, before saying, “I should go.”
Charlotte nodded, feeling the shift in his manner. “Alright.”
He walked to the door, looked back, then left.
~+~
Buffy kept glancing at the clock. Since her friends were still on different time schedules, they’d agreed to open one gift each at midnight, then try to get a bit of sleep. Willow was sharing her room, Giles had Dawn’s bed, Dawn was on the sofa bed, and Xander opted to sleep on an air mattress downstairs in the studio. He said after spending most of a year in Africa, he could sleep anywhere. Now, if only her vampire would show up. Would he really stay away just because he and Giles didn’t get along? Everyone else was okay…
Dawn finally pulled her sister aside when Buffy got up to take some empty mugs into the kitchen. “Just call him!” she whispered.
“Huh?”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “I’ve seen you checking the clock. Call that stupid vampire and tell him to come open his present!”
“H-he could have other plans…”
“Or, he’s just being a big chicken because your friends are here. Just make sure he knows it’s okay to stop by.”
“Why don’t you do it?” Buffy hissed back.
Dawn rolled her eyes again, looking at her sister like she was totally dense. “Because it’ll mean more if it comes from you? Duh! Go into the bedroom and call!”
“B-but…”
“Oh, fine…I’ll go do it. See, this is why you two aren’t already boinking.” Dawn walked off with the cordless, leaving Buffy drop-mouthed.
~+~
Spike finally headed over to Buffy’s at a quarter to twelve, after changing shirts three times. Two neatly store-wrapped boxes sat on the seat next to him.
He hadn’t bought anything when he took Dawn to the mall, but he did pay attention. She was getting a pair of earrings she’d cooed over that were over her budget, and Buffy…well, that was a special find. The teen had dragged him into a collectibles shop, wanting to peruse the pretty knickknacks, and ended up pointing out a musical carousel as one that her mother had, and Buffy had loved as a child. She told how Joyce had wrapped it up and placed it in the attic after the music box was broken, to stay there right until Sunnydale collapsed. The carousel was marked ‘Not for Sale’ in the display case, but Spike made a note to come back and talk to the shopkeeper alone. A little charm, a sad story, and a fair amount of cash later, it was his, and now Buffy’s.
He pressed the buzzer next to the door of the studio and waited, fiddling with his collar and pulling the cuffs of his shirt down under his coat sleeves, then picked up the gifts as he heard heels clack towards the door.
“You made it!” Buffy said, relieved.
“Uh, Happy Christmas, pet. These are for you and the Bit – careful with the bigger one!” as he handed them to her.
“Okay…” She started to walk further inside, only to realize he wasn’t following. “You coming?”
“I, eh, don’t know if I should…” he replied awkwardly.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Buffy grabbed hold of his sleeve and pulled him after her, letting go once she was sure he’d follow up the stairs. “We have cookies and wassail and a fruitcake, though no one’s touched that. I’m not even sure where it came from, so it might be evil, if cakes can be evil… And we found the prettiest tree, but I think I told you that last week,” she babbled up to the apartment.
Dawn, Xander, and Willow looked up from their Scrabble game long enough to say, “Hey, Spike.” Giles rolled his eyes, but didn’t comment, pouring himself another brandy. “A Charlie Brown Christmas” played on the TV. Buffy placed the gifts under the tree, then smiled at her newest guest.
“We’re opening a present each as soon as the show is over. We timed it!”
“Alright,” Spike replied. Christmas Spirit Buffy was a new incarnation for him to see. He smiled in amusement as she flitted from person to person like a little honeybee, asking if they needed another cookie or drink. Once upon a time, he’d imagined providing her with a life like this. Now, she’d grown up enough to give it to herself.
She popped up in front of him with a red envelope. “Merry Christmas, Spike,” then danced away to distribute the next present.
He looked up to see if the others where opening theirs, yet, then started sliding his finger under the flap of the envelope. A small white rectangular envelope was inside. He pulled out the contents to find a ticket to New Year’s Eve Punk-fest. Smiling, Spike slipped the envelope into his coat pocket and watched the others. He knew exactly when Buffy got through the packaging of her gift.
“Oh my God…” she gasped, holding the carousel up to the light. “Dawnie…” she murmured, waving her sister to come see.
“Oh my God!” Dawn echoed. She looked at Spike. “You talked her out of it?!”
He ducked his head, suddenly shy under the scrutiny of all those eyes turning his way. “It was nothin’…” he mumbled.
Buffy looked up with tears in her eyes. “It’s not ‘nothing’. Thank you.”
Spike nodded, unable to speak when she was looking at him like that. The moment passed as they all thanked whomever had given them the gift they opened. There were still more presents under the tree, though they would be saved until after dinner tomorrow, per tradition. Dawn immediately put in her new earrings and tackled the vampire in a hug. Willow smiled approvingly.
The Scoobies finished their treats and punch and decided to call it a night, so Spike felt that was his cue to leave. He almost made it out quietly, but Buffy stopped him at the stairs.
“Spike…I, um, got myself a ticket to the concert, too…”
“Oh?” he replied casually.
“Uh-huh. That is, if you don’t mind…having a date?” she added hopefully.
He grinned. “I don’t mind. I’m glad you liked your present.”
Buffy surprised him by rising on her toes to quickly kiss his cheek. “It was the most amazing gift anyone’s ever given me. Goodnight, Spike.” She flashed a bright smile, then retreated into the apartment.
Spike’s grin transformed into a blinding smile as he jogged down the steps. Stepping out on the street, he whistled, “Have a Holly, Jolly, Christmas” as he walked to his car. The year might end on a high note, after all.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Some cute stuff.