Chapter 27
Once her feet had been cleaned and wrapped in gauze, Spike picked up Charlotte and carried her into the kitchen. She felt light as a bird in his arms, her ribs obvious through the thin flannel of her pajamas. He set her on the stainless steel counter and searched out a clean rag and soap.
“May I wash your hands?” he asked, keeping his voice soft.
She looked down at them, then thrust them out.
“Thank you, luv.” Spike started scrubbing the grime off with the cloth. “How did you get so sticky?”
“Ice cream!” she chirped. Charlotte glanced furtively side to side, then leaned in to stage whisper, “I stole it!”
He tried not to grin. “Well, aren’t you the adventurous little monkey? Little girls that steal treats don’t get dessert, though.”
“No?”
“It’s true. Can you be a good girl for me?”
She nodded vigorously, like a child. “I like dessert.”
“I know you do. Other hand?” He cleaned the other hand, then turned the faucet on. “Rinse ‘em, please.” Once they were dry, he held up the cloth. “Should wash your face before you eat, hmm?”
Charlotte sighed and leaned forward to let him do it. Up close, Spike could really see how tangled her hair was. They’d have to do something about washing that, too, but it could wait until he got some food into her. Her skin still felt chilled.
“Okay, pet, what would you like to eat?”
“Ummm…cheese san’wich?”
He nodded. “Alright…should be able to do that.” Spike opened the refrigerator, hoping Nina had stocked up recently.
He found bread and some cheese slices, so he placed two slices of bread on a plate, put two slices of cheese in the middle, and handed the sandwich to Charlotte. She giggled and pushed the plate back.
“No, silly! You have to cook it!”
“Ohhh, a fried cheese sandwich. Sorry, luv.” Those, he knew how to make, after that summer with Dawn.
Charlotte ended up finishing three sandwiches and a glass of milk, before yawning. She didn’t resist when he picked her up again and carried her upstairs to his room. Spike set her on the bed, then rooted through his drawers for a tee shirt and drawstring pants she could change in to.
“Time for bed, luv.”
She shook her head vehemently. “Sleep is bad! Can’t do that. Can’t do that…” she chanted, panicking.
He placed his hands on her face, making her look at him. “Hey, you don’t have to sleep, okay? Just rest. It’s very late, and I know I’m tired… Can you stay here while I sleep?”
She nodded once, after some hesitation.
Spike smiled in relief. “Good…alright…take these clothes into the bathroom and change, okay?”
She took them and toddled into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. The light didn’t come on, either. He didn’t have an extra toothbrush, but he should have her brush her teeth, too. One step at a time.
Inside, Charlotte was feeling more herself. It got easier when morning approached…a little bit. An internal debate was raging in her head.
What are you doing still here? Keep moving!
I don’t have to – Spike’s here. It’s safe with him.
Like he’s been able to help so much this whole time?
He didn’t know what would happen! What matters is now…he promised.
She looked up at the mirror, seeing herself in shadow.
“Spike?”
His head shot up from where it had dropped to his chest, as he was dozing off. “Charlotte?” he whispered.
“Can I…shower?” she awkwardly called out.
It’s really her? Spike shot towards the door, though he didn’t peek. “Yeah, luv…of course. Is it really…?”
She turned the water on. “Me? For a little while. It’s easier…maybe…with you here…and during the day. How long?”
“Three days. Your manager found your door open Monday morning. God, Charlotte, what happened?!” He heard her clothes drop and the shower curtain move.
“I don’t know…I don’t think I was awake.” She laughed, a hollow sound. “I don’t think I’ve been awake for three days. I just…wandered…lost…”
“Did anyone hurt you…touch you?” he asked. It was a question he’d been burning to ask, but fearing the answer.
“No… I bit a man who came at me with a knife…I think…they ran away.” She chuckled again. “God, I’m gross right now.”
Spike laughed, genuinely this time. “Glad you said it. Charlotte…why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
She recognized the hurt in his voice. “I thought I could…it wasn’t all bad all at once…it just built…and I didn’t want to worry you again. I thought if I just blocked the dreams…” Spike interrupted.
“I searched your apartment after your boss called me to say you’d missed two days and they couldn’t find you.”
“Oh,” she replied. Guess my secret’s out, then.
“Just ‘oh’? Do you have any idea how stupid and dangerous…? Of all the boneheaded maneuvers! Charlotte…!”
Hidden in the bathroom behind a curtain, it was easier to confess. “I know, okay! But I was careful; I only used enough to stay awake, and only at home… I’m not proud of it, but you don’t know what the alternative has been like!”
“I found your diary,” he confessed, cutting into her admission.
“Oh.”
The only sound for a long time was running water pouring over flesh. She had no more to hide. He wasn’t sure where to go from here.
Charlotte cleared her throat and finally spoke again. “Um…you wouldn’t happen to have a wide tooth comb…or anything…” she asked, embarrassed.
“Wha’s that?” He’d been nodding off again from exhaustion.
“I can’t get these tangles out with just my fingers.”
“Oh. Sorry. Just have the small one,” he replied.
“Okay. Could you…could you turn the light on?” she asked shakily.
Spike flipped the switch, then moved close enough to hand her the comb around the shower curtain. He sat down on the closed toilet lid. She sat down in the tub, fatigue in her legs making it hard to keep standing while she tried to untangle her long brown locks.
“We’re going to fix this, somehow, luv. I promise you,” he quietly vowed.
They sat quiet again, the water, and the ‘plink’ of the comb when a tangle plucked against a tooth, the only sounds.
“I can help, if you come out,” Spike finally offered.
She cursed as another tangle snagged against the comb and pulled her hair. “Ouch! Okay…towel, please?”
“Right.” He made sure to pull out the full-size one and passed it to her waiting hand.
Charlotte peeled the soaked gauze off her feet and dried her body with the towel. It helped buff warmth back into her too-thin frame. Once it was wrapped firmly around her, she slowly pulled back the curtain.
“Hey,” she greeted him.
“I’m going to have to wrap your feet all over again,” he said, his eyes averted.
“It can wait. They’re not bleeding.” She handed him the comb and grimaced at her hair. “This is with the conditioner still in,” she complained.
“That’s what you get for living on the streets for three days,” he said lightly.
“Heh. Can I get dressed, now?”
Spike’s eyes widened, before he blushed (well, would have, with circulation). “I’ll be…out there.”
The door safely closed, Charlotte dropped the towel and put on the shirt and pants Spike had given her. She had to tie the pants as tight as they’d go to keep them up, and they were way too long. Grimacing at the pile of dirty clothes, she rolled them into a ball and shoved them in the trashcan. It felt weird to go without underwear, but it couldn’t be helped. Her mouth felt the grossest now, anyway.
“Do you have a spare toothbrush?” she asked as she came out, the towel draped under her hair.
“Sorry.” He patted the bed. “Have a seat.”
It felt good to have his fingers in her hair. He was surprisingly gentle…but then, it wasn’t much of a surprise. His hands had never been firmer with her than they needed to be.
“Thank you,” she murmured, after sitting quiet for a while. “I wanted to say that, while I have the chance.”
“You don’t have to go…”
“It’s not a matter of ‘have’ or ‘want’.” She tapped her head for emphasis. “It just is.”
Spike knew that, too. Hundred-twenty years with Dru had taught him that. The point of driving someone mad was that they stayed that way.
“Talk to me, luv.” Let me take some of the burden.
“Why? You read it for yourself.”
“The last entry was almost two weeks ago. I want to know how I can help now.”
“Maybe you can’t. Can you take the demon out of my head?”
“No, but…”
“It’s the only thing that will help, Spike. As long as she’s connected to me, she can infect my mind…make me see things… It’s just a matter of time…” she replied with resignation.
He grasped her shoulders and turned her around. “Listen to me! You do not give up, you understand me?!” Spike demanded fiercely.
“Why do you care so much?” she whispered, tears choking her voice.
He didn’t know why. She was looking at him, eyes begging for an answer, and he wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was.
“I don’t want to lose another friend,” Spike finally replied.
She blinked, accepting that, and turned back around. He resumed his strokes with the comb. Once he was done and went to put the comb away, she looked back at the bed with both dread and longing. Her body was so tired, but she feared the dreams. Even Spike being here wouldn’t keep the demon from playing her sadistic game.
“You still with me?” he asked.
Her eyes flicked upward and she tried to smile. She must have been staring off into space again while she was thinking. Spike lay down on the bed, still dressed. He’d taken his belt, shoes, and socks off, and pulled his tee out loose, but she knew it wasn’t his preferred way to sleep.
“I could sleep in the next room, so you can be comfortable,” Charlotte offered.
“I’m fine. Get some rest, hmm?” He closed his eyes.
Charlotte backed up against the headboard, holding the pillow. “So, what’s new with you?”
He sighed. “Not much…the usual cases, bugging the Poof, um…dating Buffy…”
She smacked him on the chest. “Spike! Why didn’t you tell me?! You must be thrilled, after all this time? How long, how’s it going?”
He sighed. “You aren’t going to let me sleep, now, are you?” She shook her head. “Right…since New Year’s Eve, and it’s been…nice.”
“Nice? How nice? Have declarations been exchanged?”
Spike opened his eyes, looking slightly perturbed. “Why is this so fascinating to you?”
“Sorry…it’s just, you got what you dreamed of, so I wanted to be happy for you,” she replied, pouting. “I’ll let you go to sleep.” Charlotte took the pillow with her and went over to the chair by the window.
“Charlotte…I’m just tired, luv. You don’t have to stay over there.”
“It’s okay. I don’t think I can sleep, anyway. Goodnight, Spike.” She turned her eyes towards the window, peering between the blinds at the encroaching sunrise.
Spike put his head back down on the pillow, but he didn’t close his eyes. He wanted to watch her as long as he could manage while it was still her.
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She did finally manage to fall asleep, curled up in the chair. It was dreamless, until night fell. Her whimpers grew into cries, then moans of pain, and finally screaming. Spike flew out of bed to comfort her, shaking her awake and calling her name. When she finally opened her eyes, his heart sunk again as he saw that Charlotte wasn’t truly there.
“It hurts…” she whimpered.
“I know, luv…I know.” He swept her hair out of her face. It felt greasy now from the conditioner staying in for hours. They’d have to do something about that. “Are you hungry?”
She glanced around furtively, like a scared rabbit, before nodding. Spike smiled reassuringly and picked her up. He didn’t want her walking on all those scabs and opening them up again. Another mental note to go by the apartment and get her properly attired.
Angel watched warily over his coffee mug as Spike brought her downstairs. He sighed, and decided the present was the best time to apologize.
“I’m sorry for what I said. She…caught me off guard,” he admitted.
“I get that,” Spike replied. “We’re not going to have anymore problems?”
Angel shook his head. “Anything I can do to help? Nina already went to the grocery store. She had a class, or she’d be here…”
Spike understood. “She’s a good woman. Tell her thank you, if you see her first.” Charlotte’s stomach gurgled. She rest passively in his arms. “Let’s find something to eat, pet.”
Angel watched them go, pondering his grandchilde. Angelus had always thought the boy’s heart was his biggest weakness, but Spike was never stronger than as a caretaker with a mission. That ambitious persistence was never more focused than when it was about someone he loved. That point had been reinforced when Spike had still managed to heal Dru even with the Slayers and Scoobies invading the church. The consequential collapse of the church had nothing to do with the success of the plan, itself. Angel had a feeling his grandchilde would be just as persistent, now.
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Charlotte had retreated into her mind again, only passively responding to commands. She’d eat, but only if he fed her. Move, but only if he coaxed her. He was using the spray nozzle to control where the water went while she lay on the long counter with her head dangling in the sink. Her eyes were closed as his fingers worked through the thick strands. Buffy and Dawn arrived.
“Spike?!” Buffy called loudly in the lobby.
Angel came out of the office and shushed her.
“Did you just shush me?!”
“Yes! Keep your voice down. Spike has Charlotte in the kitchen. She’s in bad shape.”
“What kind of shape?” Dawn broke in.
“Physically, just some cuts on her feet, besides being too thin,” he replied. “She found her way here last night.”
“That’s good, right?” Buffy asked.
“There’s more…” Angel paused as Spike came out of the kitchen to get the first aid kit.
“Hi,” Buffy greeted her boyfriend.
“Hey. I should…” He gestured at the door, indicating he shouldn’t leave Charlotte alone, and walked away.
Buffy sighed.
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Dawn followed Spike, not wanting to wait for Angel to fumble over the answers.
“Can I come in?” she asked softly.
Spike looked up and tried smiling. “Hey, Bit. Go ahead. Maybe she’ll respond to seeing you.”
“Respond?” she echoed, confused. It became clear when she saw her friend. “What happened?” Dawn gasped. There was no life in her eyes.
“Nightmares. Things no human was ever meant to see in the land of the living. She was here, for a bit, this morning, but now…” Spike finished towel drying her hair and started with the comb.
“Angel said she had cuts?”
He nodded. “She was running around on the streets barefoot for three days. I pulled out a couple slivers of glass and she didn’t even flinch. They need to be wrapped again until I can get to the apartment.”
“I can go, if you give me the key.”
Spike gratefully handed it over.
Dawn squeezed Charlotte’s hand. “Hey, Char…I miss you. I’ll be back with your clothes and stuff.” There was no reaction, but Dawn didn’t drop her smile. She touched Spike’s arm affectionately, then started to leave.
“Dawn…thank you.”
She nodded and smiled, knowing he really meant it if he used her real name.
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“So, she read your minds?!” Buffy exclaimed, after Angel’s explanation of the previous night.
He shook his head, still looking unsure. “No, I don’t think that’s exactly it. More like…knew our minds. Like reciting a quote from a movie instead of saying something original.” He shrugged. “It’s all still a puzzle,” Angel sighed.
“Is this a vampire thing, or am I going to have my words thrown back in my face?”
“Buffy, I don’t know. It was only the two of us in the room, like I said.” Twice.
“And this was part of that vamp’s plan? The one you sired?”
“And dusted. Presumably, yes. Like I said, I told you what I know.” God, was she always this stubborn?
The blonde pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “I’m getting a headache.”
“I’ve already got one,” Angel muttered under his breath. To Buffy, he said, “Look, this isn’t exactly a common thing. Get the Council on it if you want to, but I’d run any ideas you have by Spike first.”
“I’ll be back later,” Dawn announced, as she walked out.
“Wait, Dawn! Where are you going?” her sister asked. I feel like I’m constantly a step behind!
“To get Charlotte some clothes and stuff. I’ll be back.”
Buffy pouted, realizing she was kinda stuck there. She sighed. “Can I use your phone?”
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Buffy filled Willow in, then walked back out to the lobby to find it deserted. Angel had disappeared (typical), she hadn’t heard Dawn come back, yet, and she wasn’t sure where Spike was. Should she risk seeking him out? Crazy people tended not to be crazy about the Slayer. Still, he was her boyfriend…
Buffy strode purposefully to the kitchen door. Spike met her there, blocking her way in.
“Not now, Slayer.”
I’m ‘Slayer’, now? “Why not? What’s going on? You hardly even acknowledged I was here.”
Spike sighed, looking tired. “I’m sorry, but I kind of have my hands full.” A crash of equipment hitting the floor further inside interrupted his explanation. “Bloody hell…”
The door swung closed in her face as he left Buffy to chase after Charlotte. She frowned and followed him.
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(Same time…)
Charlotte heard the Slayer’s voice and felt the demon churn inside.
Run…unless you want her to kill us.
She won’t. Not like that. Spike won’t let her.
Please! She kills vampires in her sleep. You think Spike has any better chance? You’re a threat to her…You can sense it.
Leave me alone!
RUN!
Instinct overwhelmed reason, such as she still had, and Charlotte leapt off the counter and ran. There had to be a back entrance…kitchens always received deliveries in the back. She slammed into the door, only to find it locked, and slammed her weight into it again. Strong arms banded around her from behind, and she panicked, kicking and clawing.
“Charlotte…stop!”
Can’tstopcan’tstopcan’tstop…they’ll take me back to that place! She renewed her efforts to get away, drawing blood from her opponent. The arms loosened a fraction, so she dropped limp, sliding out of their grip to crouch on the ground, where she kicked out behind her and slammed her foot into his knee. Free to run, Charlotte looked for another exit.
There was a sharp sting between her shoulder blades, then her vision went black.
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Spike shook out his leg, then limped over to the sleeping girl. “You carry tranq guns, now?” he asked Buffy.
“Never know when I’ll run into a werewolf. It’s a big city. You okay?”
He licked the blood off his arm that was starting to drip from the scratches. “Just peachy. She didn’t do much damage.”
“You should put her in the cage until we figure this out. She’s dangerous.”
Spike looked incredulous. “To who? She’s surrounded by super beings.”
“Not Dawn! Spike, she’s unpredictable. Will you at least consider keeping her sedated until we figure something out?!”
He gently scooped up Charlotte, securing her in his grip. “Fine. But I’m not caging her like a bloody animal. It’ll only make it worse.”
“Okay… It’s your show. The drugs should last for a few hours, at least.” She followed as he carried the brunette up to the room next to his. “I’m sorry…”
“For what, luv,” he sighed. Spike checked that the windows were locked.
“For thinking like a Slayer when it isn’t that simple. I don’t want to make this more difficult for you.”
He took her hand as they walked out of the room. “I’m not mad at you, pet…just frustrated at the whole soddin’ mess. We’re constantly a step behind of the right answer and I’m afraid Charlotte will run out of time before we find it. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really,” he replied honestly.
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