Chapter 2 – Lost
Buffy felt sick. She stumbled out of the Bronze’s doors, dazed, Angel’s words ringing in her ears. *Soon Dru, soon it’ll be you me and the baby*. So, the baby, Dru’s baby, the one the girls had been so excited about, the first in the group to get pregnant…it wasn’t Riley’s. It was Angel’s. Her Angel. Her love. She thought he loved her, just as she loved him. She’d given him everything, changed her life to incorporate him into it. He’d been her first. But it was all a lie. Now she understood why he’d been so reluctant to make plans. Why, whenever she mentioned the wedding, he clammed up. They’d been engaged three months. She’d ask him about places, music, a date even, and he’d just shrug, look at her like she was being silly, and say “Baby, is there any point in rushing things?”
Oh, she’d give him rushing things. When Dru had told the girls about her pregnancy, she hadn’t seemed too pleased. They had all fussed over her, telling her how great it was, that they were going to be Aunties. Riley had been over the moon, and Dru’d finally welcomed the idea that she had to take care of someone else for a change. Come to think of it, when Buffy had told Angel, he’d asked a lot of questions about it, how far along she was, what Riley’d said, did Dru seem pleased. Now she could see why that had been.
A month after Dru had announced her ‘big news’, Angel had popped the question. He took her for a nice meal, then dancing at the Bronze. They went back to his apartment, and from the door was a trail of candles and rose petals. She couldn’t believe it when they’d gotten upstairs and he asked her to become his wife. She’d immediately said yes, and they’d made love for hours. So why? Why had he done this to her now? It didn’t make sense. And it’d been going on for a long time, that much was clear. Dru was 7 months pregnant, and from the sounds of Angel in the alley, the baby was definitely his. How long had he been planning on stringing her along? Until they’d set a date for the wedding? Or they’d walked down the aisle maybe?
She didn’t know how long she’d been walking, wandering the streets of Sunnydale. She realized her phone had been ringing, so she looked to see who was calling. *Willow. Great, just what I need!* she didn’t answer, left it to go to voicemail. She looked up, wondering where she was, and saw that she’d walked into the seedy side of town. She was unsure of where to go, only that she didn’t want to go home yet. Dawn was staying with her for a few days, on break from college, and she didn’t want to deal with the questions. Much better to leave her thinking she’d gone back to Angel’s for the night instead. As she was walking, she almost passed ‘Willie’s Bar’. *I need a drink…and I think I deserve one too!* Buffy mused, pushing the doors open to the bar.
As she entered, the room was smoky. She went to the bar, and ordered a vodka tonic. As soon as it was placed in front of her, she drank it straight down, before asking the bartender to get her another one.
“Uh, Miss, aren’t you drinking that a little fast? Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad” the bartender said to her, worried about the state the young woman appeared to be in. “I-I don’t want any trouble”.
Buffy looked at him, her face showing no signs of being bothered by what he was saying. “Listen, whatever your name is. I’m paying you to give me alcohol, if I wanted a speech, I would’ve gone home to my sister. Now get me another drink…please…what is your name anyway?”
“My name’s Willie, and are you sure, cos you don’t seem like you need to be drinking something like that, it’s not gonna make everyth…”
“Willie, please, my drink, before I climb over this bar and serve myself!” she interrupted him, before he could continue his warning.
“Right, ok miss…if you insist” he said, pouring her another drink, which she again, picked up and drank straight down.
After her fourth drink in the same manner, she almost fell off her stall, paid her tab and left the bar. She wasn’t sure what direction she was headed in, only that the alcohol hadn’t done nearly enough to numb the pain she was currently in. She walked down the now deserted streets, hoping to sober up before she headed home.
Before she knew it, she was standing at the house of her former best friend. They hadn’t spoken in the last 10 months, and she wasn’t sure why she was there now, only that it seemed imperative that she go and knock on the door. She looked down at herself. She looked a mess. It was 3.30 in the morning, maybe she should just turn around and leave. She’d walked as far as the door, knocking lightly, before the evening’s events all caught up with her, and in seconds, she was an emotional wreck, tears running down her cheeks, her legs unable to hold her up as she sobbed her heart out on the front porch steps. She fell to her knees with a crash, startling the house’s occupant awake in an instant.
****************************************************************************************
Spike awoke from his slumber with a start. He didn’t remember falling asleep, last thing he knew, he’d been watching TV, sprawled on the sofa. Now, here he was, waking up from said sofa with a start, disoriented for a second, with a neck that was as stiff as hell. “Bloody hell, last time I ever try and watch a late night Passions marathon!” Even as he said it he knew he was lying to himself. He loved that show way to much to give it up that easily! He stood up, moving his head from side to side, trying to alleviate some of the pain he felt from being in an awkward position for so long. He went to the TV and switched it off, and headed out of the living room, past the front door, about to head up the stairs when a sound caught his ears.
It sounded like someone was crying on his front porch. He figured it was probably some drunken idiot, and just prayed he wouldn’t have to clean up anything nasty in the morning. He had his foot on the first step, and was just going to climb the stairs to his room when he heard the words “Angel”, “Dru” and “friend” in between sniffling and sobbing. He came back to the front door and flung it open, confirming his suspicions. Buffy. On his porch. Looking very rough, but still beautiful as hell. He called out her name, hoping she’d turn to him, but it didn’t work, she either didn’t hear, or didn’t have the energy to look at him. Either way, it wasn’t good for her to be out here, it was cold and unsafe.
He made his way over to her, picking her up smoothly, murmuring words of what he hoped to be comfort into her hair. She smelt of smoke and booze, not her usual vanilla and chamomile that he was used to from her. But then, that had been a long time ago. He sat her down on the sofa and went to get her a glass of water. When he came back into the room, her sobs had stopped, and her eyes seemed more focused. He placed the glass down in front of her on the coffee table, before sitting on it himself and taking her small hands in his. She was shaking. He worryingly forced himself to look into her eyes, just as she focused on the man in front of her.
“Spike? How? When did I?” she asked, too dazed still to make full sentences.
“Dunno love, just found you on me porch, didn’t I? What happened to you love? Should I call someone, the police? Dawn?”
That seemed to snap her out of it. Her head snapped up at that, her eyes instantly flying to his, as she shook her head vehemently. “NO, no, that’s not necessary. I’ll be fine, I just needed a minute to…Oh my god” her hand flew to her mouth as she stood up and flew past him and up the stairs. She just made it into the bathroom and knelt down in front of the toilet bowl as her stomach rejected both the copious amounts of alcohol she’d drunk and the food she’d consumed that evening. Spike had followed her upstairs, pulling her hair back out of her face with one hand, leaning over to the sink with the other arm and rinsing a washcloth in cold water, placing that on the back of her overheated neck. When she was done, he let go of her hair, and picked up a glass off the side, filling it with water so she could rinse her mouth.
He handed it to her, and watched in silence as she swished the water around her mouth before spitting it out, reaching up to the toilet cistern, and fumbling around for the handle before pulling it in order to get rid of its contents. She turned back to face Spike, placing the water on the side of the sink as she stood. She looked nervous and embarrassed as she met his eyes with her own. “I’m sorry. I…umm…I kind of need to pee. Buffy’s bladder and alcohol are kinda unmixy!” Her face flamed with embarrassment at the thought of what she was saying. She hadn’t seen her ex-best friend in so long, and the first thing she’d done had been to throw up and tell him she needed to pee!
Spike looked like he wished he were both anywhere but there and amused at the state she was getting in at the same time. “Enough said love. I’ll pop downstairs and make us a cuppa, whilst you sort yourself out. Take your time, I’ll meet you down there. Then we can talk, ok?” he began to back out of the room, giving her no choice but to nod her approval as he pulled the door to and it shut between them.