Chapter 24


Buffy walked into her mother's house feeling emotional drained. At first it was difficult for the trio to find their rhythm in conversation. But each woman quickly realized that their friendship was worth working through. Buffy honestly didn't know whether she did more laughing or crying tonight.

“How did it go?” Joyce slowly emerged from the darkened kitchen. In her hands there was a cup of steaming hot chocolate. “Did you three work out whatever you needed to work out?” Buffy stopped and studied her mom in the pale moonlight streaming through the window. The bitterness of being left out of her daughter's life was evident in Joyce's voice.

Buffy smiled sadly. “Mom, I need to tell you what happened my senior year.” She lead her mother back into the kitchen. The two women stopped and stood at opposite ends of the island in the center of the room. Joyce dropped her eyes first. Buffy felt her own eyes fill with unshed tears. It was at that moment that Buffy understood just how hard it had been for her mother these last few years. Joyce busied herself straighting the sparse counter top. “Mom,” Buffy stayed Joyce's hands. “Is there more of that stuff around?” She asked as her eyes drifted down to her mother's mug sitting forgotten between them.

“I have the instant packets. I um, I stop buying, well you know, you left and all.” Joyce tapered off with a shrug. Both women thought back to the time when late night sharing was a common practice.

Buffy sighed. “There was this guy.” she began.

The next morning she woke to the smell of coffee wafting up from the kitchen. She stuck a sleep tousle head out from under her blanket. Buffy stretched slowly as the warm California sun lit up her childhood room. She stumbled to her bathroom and started the shower. As Buffy washed up she when through her checklist of things necessary for the wedding. “First thing first I have to see Mr. Lee,” she whispered wiggling her toes in the water. Somewhere a phone rang.

Joyce stuck her head in the steamy bathroom and said, “Coffee's on if you want a cup and Willow is on the phone. You want me to tell her to call you back?”

Buffy rinsed the conditioner out of her hair and peeked out at her mother. “Mom tell her that I'll call her when I get out of the shower.” She closed the curtain only to open it again. “Mommy, can I have some pancakes for breakfast.” Joyce held her daughter's eyes for a moment and smiled softly.

“Of course. How about some sliced apples and cinnamon to go on top.”

“Yum, I am so done with my shower.” Buffy turned off the water and reached for her towel. She stepped gingerly out of the tub. Buffy took the second towel offered by her mother and asked, “can I have some bacon with those pancakes?”

“Don't push it.” Joyce answered.

Buffy sat at the table working her way through her second helping of pancakes. Joyce sat across from her wayward daughter enjoying her coffee. “So Buffy, what are your plans for the day?”

“Well first I'm going to go to Cordy manicure guy, Mr. Lee and then I'm going to find me tanning bed. I look like I've been in Cleveland or something.” After a moment she turned serious. “Later I'm suppose to go to this party for Cordy and Angel.” Buffy tried to make light of it as she smiled weakly at her mother. The words however, hung heavy in the air.

Will you be all right with seeing this Spike person?”

I don't really have a choice in the matter, Mom,” Buffy said. “I can't avoid him forever.” She stood up and put her plate in the dishwasher. Buffy turned to look at her mom. “To be honest with you, I don't want to –avoid him that is. I can't let him keep in hiding. It's cold in Ohio.”

“What are you saying, Buffy?”

Buffy ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, “I don't know. I think all this talk of Mr. Lee has sent me over the edge.”

Joyce smiled softly at her daughter as she gathered her in her arms. “You are very strong, Buffy. I can't say that what you told me has made me happy. But hey, what can I do about the past.”

Buffy laid her head at her mother's breast as she held her tight. “I'm so sorry about everything, Mom.” she whispered. “I should have told you a long time ago. I knew it wasn't right but I loved him so much.”

“I know dear. When you're eighteen and in love nothing else matters.

“17.”

“Huh?”

“I was 17. It was worse.” Buffy said absently. Joyce winced as she thought of her only child trying to navigate a relationship with a grown man. No wonder she was so hurt when it didn't work out. “But I'm not seventeen any longer. I am an adult now and I can handle seeing my ex as one.”

I hope so. Joyce thought as she silently watched Buffy picked up the phone to call Willow.

Later that evening after a day of pampering, Buffy sat in her mother's car outside Cordelia’s and Angels apartment. She'd been sitting there for nearly a half hour, and was no closer to getting out then when she pulled up. It had been so long since she actually seen Spike and to do it in front of an audience was going to be a daunting task. “What the hell were you thinking, Summers?” she muttered.

'tap, tap, tap'

Buffy jumped at the noise and turned to look at the small dark haired woman smiling outside the car. She cracked the window and the woman asked, “Are you alright?”

She cringed and replied, “I kinda zoned out there for a minute,” Buffy stole a glance at her watch, “or thirty,” she mumbled.

“Are you here for the party?” She pointed over her shoulder at the house.

“Yeah, I went to school with the bride to be. I'm just getting my nerve up. I've been out of town for a few years.” The raven haired girl looked on sympathetically. “You know out of the loop and all that.”

“I'm was running late. So if it helps we can go in together.” She ran her hand down her flat stomach, smoothing her dress. “I've always found that the best way to get back into the loop is with a friend.

Buffy smiled, feeling at ease for the first time the whole evening. There was something very sweet about this young woman. She opened her car door and grabbing her purse the two made their way to the house. Buffy stole glances at her new friend. Her warm chestnut hair was piled in a sloppy bun at the nape of her neck. Her brown eyes were kind. Perch on her small nose sat a pair of owlish glasses. Although slightly taller then Buffy she had a very small frame and she carried herself with the poise of a dancer. As the walked up the stairs Buffy turned to her companion saying, “by the way, my name is Buffy Summers.” She extended her hand.

“Oh, I knew who you were, silly.” She turned to Buffy and rolling her eyes heavenward grasped the extended hand and said, “Where on earth are my manners! My name is Winifred Burkle. But you can just call me Fred.

“Of course.” Buffy whispered as the door opened and a pale Cordelia stood in the entrance.

“I, uh see you two have met.”





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