[Reviews - 77]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 1883 times

- Text Size +




Chapter 28

As the days passed, Buffy didn't see Spike often and didn't talk to him at all. It wasn't that she avoided him, there just wasn't very many occasions for their paths to cross. Buffy hadn't told anyone what she witnessed at the mall. There were times where it was on the tip of her tongue, but in the end she always kept her mouth shut. She thought about asking her mom about what she saw, not even sure she saw anything. Okay, it looked like a clandestine meeting between two lovers. But why? Because she wanted it to be? There was no fevered touches; passionate kisses. Fred was obviously upset and she was being comforted by a brother? Uncle? Cousin? Buffy didn't honestly know. By sharing was she hoping to cause a rift in Spike's relationship with Fred? Was it even her place? Did she have the right? Those question floated through her mind constantly.

Cordelia and Willow didn't speak very often of Spike, so they were of very little help. She didn't know whether it was out of sensitivity to her feelings or because he just didn't warrant very much thought; she expected it was the latter. Spike for all intents and purposes was Buffy own private obsession.

Buffy however wasn't the only one with a renewed obsession. When Spike woke from his dream of Buffy, he purposed to recommit himself to his relationship with Fred. On the surface he was the perfect partner. But he was finding himself thinking more and more often of Buffy. For the last few days Spike found himself noticing just how many blonds there were in Sunnydale. This problem was something he felt he had to work out on his own. With the wedding so close Angel was being kept busy by the cheerleader. And he had no other close friends to confide in.

And although he couldn't put his finger on what it was, he felt something was off between Fred and himself. Spike had repeatedly caught her looking at him with unreadable eyes and when he asked her about it, it was always the same: a small shake of her pretty little head and escape. Spike sighed.

“Hey, whatcha doing.” Fred asked quietly, walking in the back door. She put her purse on the counter and grabbed a tea out of the refrigerator. She sat down across from him and looked at him expectantly. Spike turned a page in the magazine sitting in front of him. Although he wasn't reading it, he stated he was. She took a small sip and smiling said, “I need to talk to you about something.” Spike opened his mouth to speak but Fred interrupted him. “Now just listen to me before you say anything.” She took a cleansing breath and laid her hand on top of his. “The grant work I have been pulling my hair out over these last months has come in. The University has offered me a position on one of their research team. It's a three month study. We'll be decoding some writings at an archaeological dig.....in England.” He sat silently absorbing what she said. Smiling weakly she hurried on, “It's a very coveted spot. You know all the nights I've been at the school, working. The weekends, well they've finally pay off for me. I wasn't even sure I was going to get it at first--”

His eyes snapped up and he bit out, “Now Fred, let's not pretend the good Professor wouldn't make sure there was a.......position open for his star pupil.”

Fred dropped his hand and jumping up yelled. “It's not like that Spike! I've worked very hard for this. You know how hard I've worked. How many times do I have to tell you, it's not like that! Wes—Professor Wyndam-Pri-- Wesley! and I have been over for a long time.”

Spike watched her as she trembled in anger and she watched him sitting there in indifference; both knowing it was over. Fred sighed and with tears in her eyes said, “Please don't make this about me not being able to separated myself from my past. I'm the one that should feel insecure, Spike.” Spike broke eye contact with her. “All this time you've been going on and on, throwing Wesley in my face. When Buffy...” Fred shook her head in frustration. “When Buffy came back, you acted like it didn't mean anything to you. When I asked you if you wanted to talk about it, you'd shut me out.”

“Because I didn't want to bloody well talk about it!” Spike yelled suddenly. “I was at the place where I thought that sodden woman was out of my blood. She comes back and I tried, Pet I truly tried. But I have everyone Peaches, Red, you---forever asking me about how I feel about Buffy back in the California, if I can deal with her in the wedding. I was finally done with her. I thought I was finally done with her.”

Fred watched as her relationship with Spike take it's last gasping breath. “You dream about Buffy every night, Spike,” she whispered. They faced off like two weathered and beaten gunfighters. Although Spike took the first shot it was Fred that fired the killing blow. Their love affair laid dead at their feet. The hum of the refrigerator was the only sound. Finally she said, “I'll send someone for my things.”

Then she was gone.

Through the window he heard Fred's car as it screeched out of his driveway. When exactly had he become such a bastard?

The Stumble Inn was one of the last bars in Sunnydale where a bloke could still have a cigarette with his pint. Spike stared into the amber liquid in front of him, but his thoughts were miles away. For the first time in a long time, he thought of Dru. Although thoughts of her bubbled up from time to time, like his thoughts of Buffy, he pushed them away.

Snorting he finished his drink. Spike signaled the bartender for another. He was so young and idealistic when he met Dru. Foolishly believing that love would conquer all. Thinking back a decade later he realized that Dru had serious mental problems. At the time he believed the lack was in him. Her instability was because of something he wasn't suppling. Her running hot and cold, the lies and deceit, because he wasn't worth the truth. After Dru repeatedly broke his heart, he promised himself to never give with such abandon again. What a unrealistic notion---to live without love. By the time he met Buffy he was so hollow inside that she was an oasis to him. Then he bollocked it all up. Pushed her away before she could toy with his heart and mess up his head like Dru did so many years ago. To get out with some semblance of dignity. What rubbish. When he heard that she'd went to school out of state, he thought it was for the best. He understood her thinking, didn't he too at one time run away?

When he met Fred he knew that although he cared for her he was holding back. That he never completely gave his heart in their relationship. And now it's lead him to this place. When had this bitterness settled in. He didn't feel enough to even care that Fred was gone. Sighing he emptied his glass and headed home.





You must login (register) to review.