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Part 37....

I Only Want To Be With You



~~~~~
"I don't know what it is that makes
me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go.."
~~~~~

As quietly as she could manage, Buffy opened the
outside door to Willow's bedroom.

The room was dark, it's only illumination provided
by the moonlight. All Buffy could hear was a
slight snore coming from the direction of Willow's
bed.

She managed to locate her overnight bag, then
slipped into the bathroom and changed into the
over sized football jersey her father had given her.

It was difficult to maneuver without the light on,
but she didn't want to take a chance on it dis-
turbing her friend's sleep. She brushed her teeth
in the pitch black dark, only allowing a trickle
of water to dampen the brush. Since she didn't
want running water to wake anyone up, she
swallowed the mouthful of toothpaste to avoid
having to rinse out the sink.

When she was finished, she brushed her hair,
but didn't bother trying to remove her make up.

Opening the door an inch at a time in order to
avoid the loud squeak it usually made, she
tiptoed across the room and climbed into the
sleeping bag that had been rolled out for her.

Only when she was finally situated did she let
out a tired sigh and close her eyes, feeling quite
stealthy.

"Buffy?"

So much for stealth.

"Hi, Willow."

There was a rustle of bed covers as her friend sat up
and clicked on her bedside lamp.

The two girls exchanged a long measured look, each one
waiting for the other to speak.

"Where have you...?"

"Sorry I woke you..." they said in unison.

"Okay, you first," Willow said.

"No, you."

Willow didn't have to be asked twice. "Where have you
been?"

The last thing Buffy wanted to do right now was go
into the details of her evening 'post-formal', but
knowing that Willow would have covered for her if
necessary made her feel obliged.

"With William," she said simply, hoping Willow
would say, "Oh..all right, then" and go back to
sleep.

It was a long shot, and it didn't pan out.

"Um, Buffy...I hope you don't think I'm being
nosy but...when did you get married?"

**A few months ago, when my vampire lover
took a nice juicy bite out of me.**

Well, THAT wouldn't go over well at all!

"Oh, that," she said, trying to sound casual and
amused. "He kind of...exaggerated...a little. You
know how guys are."

Before Willow could comment on that remark,
Cordelia stirred on the love seat where she'd
spread her blankets. "What's going on?" she
asked sleepily.

"Buffy's back," Willow informed her.

Cordy made a face. "Buffy? You mean Mrs. Who-
ever-the-hell-he-is? THAT Buffy?"

Perfect. Just exactly what she needed at this
moment...dual twenty questions.

"I was just telling Willow that he didn't mean it
the way it sounded," she explained nervously. "It
was...things were kind of emotional."

The other two girls waited, clearly expecting Buffy
to expound on her meaning.

"I'm just saying that...well, we're not...you know...com-
pletely married like...like other married people
are...are married."

She was floundering, nearly ready to sink, and
if William had been there she'd have smacked him
upside the head and said, "Now, see what you've started!"

"So, you're not married?" Willow asked, wanting
some less confusing clarification.

"Not..not legally," Buffy stammered. "We're more
like...sort of...almost..."

"Holy shit!" Cordy interjected, her gaze riveted
to Buffy's left hand. "Is that an engagement ring?"

She and Willow joined Buffy on the floor, where-
upon Cordelia grabbed hold of Buffy's hand and
examined the diamond with an appraiser's eye for
quality.

"Buffy...that's beautiful," Willow exclaimed.

Cordy shook her head. "That's not ALL it is,"
she said. "This is a round, ideal cut, 3.00
carat diamond in a platinum setting. Internally
flawless." She looked up at Buffy. "This is a
fourteen thousand dollar ring."

Buffy stared at her hand in shock.

Willow's mouth dropped open. "Fourteen?" she
squeaked. "Not...not four maybe?"

"Trust me," Cordelia replied. "I know these
things."

~~~~~
"Cause you've started something
Oh, can't you see
That ever since we met, you've had a
hold on me..."
~~~~~

An hour later, Buffy lay sleepless on Willow's bed-
room rug. The question and answer session she'd
been subjected to had left her feeling restless, and
vaguely unhappy.

Her body was tired...worn out from the emotional
roller coaster she'd been stuck on all evening, not
to mention the physical exertions...but her mind and
heart gave her no peace whatsoever.

She had clung to William like a scared little girl
when he'd dropped her off at Willow's, embarrassing
herself when he'd had to pry her arms from around
his neck. Holding her hand firmly in his, he had
led her up the outside staircase and along the
balcony leading to Willow's bedroom.

After kissing her goodnight several times, he had
held her tightly, promising her over and over again
that he wouldn't disappear from her life, that he would call
her later in the day once she'd gotten some sleep.

Before he'd left, he had reached into his coat pocket and
extracted a cell phone he'd acquired for her before
he'd left Los Angeles. He had explained that she
had completely unlimited service and could use the
phone as much as she liked, not concerning herself
with the details of a rate schedule.

He had then gone on to show her that he'd already
programmed his own cell number into her keypad.

Pressing the little phone into her hand, he'd kissed
her once last time and turned to leave.

Buffy, an aficionado of great romance in both novels
and film, hadn't taken her eyes off him as he'd walked
back to where his car sat idling at the curb. She
could literally feel her heart hurting inside of her as
he'd driven away.

He had been gone for so long...she had just now
gotten him back...and now he was gone again. And
even the knowledge that he had only gone as far
as the hotel offered no consolation.

Her thumb rubbed absently over the diamond
in her engagement ring. She had nearly wet her
pants when Cordelia had announced the probable
cost of the gem.

Buffy had known, of course, that the diamond was
real. She just hadn't expected to hear how expensive
it must have been. The only good jewelry she'd ever
owned up until this point had been the birthstone ring
her parents had given her when she'd graduated from
middle school, and the opal earrings her grandmother
had bequeathed to her in her will.

Although she hated the idea of taking the ring off,
even for an instant, she was going to have hide it
from her mother; who would have an absolute fit
if she discovered that her daughter had accepted
such an expensive piece of jewelry from a man she
herself didn't even know.

Buffy rolled over to lay on her stomach, her hands
shoved up under the pillow.

She missed William so badly that she wasn't sure
how she was going to live through it. When he'd first
been gone, the missing had been sharply painful, like
a piece of glass slicing into her tender flesh. After a
while, it had turned from that into a dull, throbbing ache
that was never completely absent, though she'd been
able to cover it up most of the time.

But now, knowing that he was so close, the ache
was becoming unbearable.

And if it was this bad now...how much worse would it
be as the days rolled by? They'd had so much freedom
to be together when her mother had been out of town.
He could come to her house then and stay for most of
the night. It had been almost like she'd imagined marriage
would be; two people going about their separate days,
then coming home to be together all evening and night.

They wouldn't have that luxury anymore. Their time
together would have to be carefully planned and would
be limited to what she could reasonably expect to get
away with. There would certainly be no overnight visits,
unless she could convince her mother that she was
spending an awful lot of time with Willow. That meant
that she'd have to pull her friend into the deception along
with her, and it wasn't something that Willow would be
proficient at. Keeping secrets and being sneaky just
wasn't her best event.

Besides, it wasn't fair of her to expect it of Willow. And
she hated the idea of constantly lying to the mother
that was so good to her.

God....what were they going to do?

~~~~~
"It happens to be true
I only want to be with you.."
~~~~~

Her fingers brushed against the cell phone she
had pushed under her pillow. Drawing it out, she
held it in the cupped palm of her hand.

Her eyes were drawn to the keypad.

She had to talk to him. Just hear his voice.
If she could do that, then she'd be able to get
some sleep...she just knew it.

Sliding out of her sleeping bag, she crept
across the room and went out onto the balcony.

He wouldn't be asleep. Probably not, anyway. Even
though it was nearly 4:00 in the morning.

And even if he was, he wouldn't be mad at her
for calling. He never got mad at her. No matter what
stupid thing she did, William was always tolerant
of it, always accepting and usually amused.

She keyed the number and listened to the
sounds of her call going through.

It rang twice before it was answered.

"Why aren't you sleeping, sweetheart?"

Buffy smiled, leaning against the balustrade.

"I don't know," she said. "I just can't seem to
fall asleep."

William chuckled softly. "Neither can I. I
miss you, love."

All of Buffy's pent up emotions began to gush
out in a torrent of words. "Oh, William...I miss
you, too. It's worse than ever...even though you're
back...just a few miles away. It's hard to have you so
close and not...not be with you. I NEED to be with you.
I'm...I'm so afraid that..."

"Afraid of what, love?" he asked, concern audible in
his voice.

"I don't know!" she wailed. "That's the problem. I'm
afraid of something that...that I can't identify."

"Buffy...listen to me..."

"What if I wake up and it's all a dream?" she went
on, not even hearing his words. "I had that dream, you
know...while you were gone. A bunch of times. And..and
every time I woke up...you weren't there."

"Baby...I AM here now. I promise you...I'm not going
anywhere. Just...just look at your ring. Are you wearing
it?"

"Uh-huh," she sniffled. "But what were you thinking, buying
something so expensive?"

"I...what?" Her sudden segue made him laugh. "Are you
telling me you DON'T want me plying you with expensive
jewels?"

"Well, not exactly," she said. "That would just be stupid."

"Listen, love," he said quietly, "I intend to drape you with
diamonds on a regular basis, or any other gem that you
prefer...so you'd best get used to it. Now...look at your
ring....are you doing it?"

"Yes," Buffy replied, staring at her hand with tear filled
eyes. "It's...it's so beautiful," she added, taking in and
releasing a ragged breath.

"Well, that's my promise to be here," William said. "I'll
be beside you forever, love. It's just you and me now. And
nobody is ever going to come between us."


~~~~~
"It doesn't matter where you go
or what you do
I want to spend each moment of the
day with you.."
~~~~~

Buffy nodded, forgetting for a moment that he couldn't
see her.

"Buffy? Sweetheart...talk to me."

"I know," she said quickly, the tears beginning to spill
down her cheeks. "I really do. It's just...just..."

He was quiet for a moment, then said, "Buffy...honey,
are you crying?"

She swallowed hard, wiping her face on the back of
her hand, feeling like a great big baby. "Maybe..." she
began, her voice wobbly, "maybe a little. I'm sorry."

There was a moment of utter quiet between them
before he spoke.

"I'm on my way."


~~~~~
"Look what has happened
With just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in
love like this

It's crazy, but it's true
I only want to be with you..."
~~~~~



TBC.....





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