Title: Caught Between Two Lovers
Author: Pattyanne
snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: None of the BtVS
characters belong to me.
Feedback: Love some, thanks!
Rating: Up to NC-17
Summary: A retelling of Spike and
Buffy's first meeting. Starts in early
season 2. For the purpose of the
story, Angel does not exist and Spike
is a little....different.
Part Forty-three...
Everything I Do
~~~~~~~~~~
"Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there
You'll search no more.."
~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy stared up at William, her eyes growing
rounder by the second, her lips parted and
trembling.
He quickly placed one hand gently over her mouth.
"Don't panic," he instructed her quietly, straining to hear
Joyce's progress on the stairs over the wild drumbeat of
Buffy's racing heart. "Tell her you're changing your clothes
and you'll be down in a moment."
She whimpered beneath his hand.
"Sweetheart....do you understand?"
Closing her eyes briefly, Buffy nodded. William
removed his hand.
"Go ahead," he mouthed.
She tried, but the words were stuck in her constricting
throat and all that came out was a mousy squeak.
"Buffy?" Joyce called, her voice sounding closer.
"If you don't say it now," William whispered, "she's
going to walk in that door in about three seconds."
The horrible thought of her mother doing just that, of
turning the doorknob and walking in to find her only
daughter lying on her bed, her skirt pushed up around
her waist and her underpants nowhere in sight, was
the catalyst that finally freed Buffy's voice.
"I'M CHANGINGMYCLOTHES I'LLBEDOWNINA
MINUTEMOM," she all but screamed, running her
words together in a nearly incomprehensible manner.
William winced at the sharp pitch. "Nice going, sweet-
heart," he murmured, pulling back. "She'll never suspect
a thing now."
"Honey? You okay?" floated up from the stairs.
Buffy swallowed hard, trying desperately to call up some
semblance of the 'slayer remaining cool under fire' lessons
that Giles had been attempting to drum into her head from
day one.
She could recite the mantra by heart when she
was sitting in the library with no distractions, life threatening
or otherwise.
Lesson Roman Numeral One was, of course, the universal
rule of thumb in any sticky situation, the ubiquitous and
ever popular: Don't Panic.
She usually never did....until now. Even when she was
scared out of her wits by whatever demon of the week was
trying to turn her insides out, she managed to control the
urge to fall apart long enough to take charge of a sticky
situation and come out the winner.
Lesson Roman Numeral Two was slightly more
work: Determine your ultimate goal and decide which
actions are necessary to achieve it.
Her ultimate goal at the moment was very clear cut; To
keep her mother from catching her in bed with her one
hundred and fifty three year old vampire lover. Unfortunately,
with her mom more than halfway up the stairs, that goal
seemed pretty far out of reach.
Lesson Roman Numeral Three was the 'make or break'
portion of the situation: Quickly assess ALL possible options,
choosing the one that will do the most amount of good in the
least amount of time.
Her options here were pretty much limited to A: Get up and
get to the door before her mom did, thereby blocking entrance
to the scene of the crime, and B: Hide.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me, it's not worth dyin' for.."
~~~~~~~~~~
William could tell by the change of expression on her
face just exactly what was going through her mind.
Despite his efforts to keep her calm and focused, she
was about to lose whatever internal battle was raging
inside of her.
His heart filled up with a sudden burst of tenderness
for his little slayer, who was very young and so terribly
uncertain of so many things. This little girl could stand
toe-to-toe with creatures undreamed of in the most
horrifying of nightmares, and yet underneath that stalwart
demeanor was a very fragile sixteen year old girl.
He pushed himself up from the bed, separating their
bodies, then grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.
Giving her a gentle nudge towards her door, he moved
quickly across the room and silently opened the window.
"Buffy?" Joyce called.
He heard her take a deep breath and find her voice.
"I'm fine, Mom. I'll be down in a minute, okay?" she
announced, looking around the room for her discarded
underwear.
"All right. I'm going to make some tea. You want some?"
"Sure! Tea! I love tea!," Buffy chirped. "Tea is great." She
spotted her underwear and snagged it, then pulled them
on, hopping on one foot and then the other as she wriggled
them up her legs.
"Oh, no," she moaned softly, eyes wide with alarm.
"What?" William had one leg out the window.
"I forgot to clean off," she hissed. "Things are....stuff is..."
"I understand," he assured her, watching her face turn
pink at the very idea of articulating her predicament. "Just
stop in the bathroom and clean up."
"What are you doing?" she squeaked. "Where are you
going?"
"I'll climb down the tree and come to the door."
"But...your shirt." She twisted her fingers together in her
distress. "You don't have your shirt. It's out there," she
added, pointing vaguely towards her bedroom door.
"Sweetheart," he said quietly. "Calm down. All right? Now,
listen. It's dark outside and no one will see. I have some
things in the trunk of my car. You just get yourself together
now, love. I'll wait a few minutes and then knock."
"You won't leave?"
"No." He smiled as reassuringly as he knew how. "Never
again, baby."
Pausing to pass a moment of gratitude that he'd not taken
off his pants and left them on the stairs as well, he swung out
into the tree and dropped noiselessly to the ground.
~~~~~~~~~~
"You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you..."
~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of her mother's footsteps descending the
stairs was all Buffy needed to get herself moving.
She stripped off the sticky panties and stuffed them into
the bottom of her laundry hamper, then pulled a clean pair
from her lingerie drawer.
Opening her door just a tiny crack, she peeked out to make
sure her mom was really gone, then made a beeline for the
bathroom, closing the door loudly so Joyce would hear it.
"Okay," she said to her wide eyed reflection. "This is going
to work. Everything is going to be fine, if you just remember
not to panic. Not panicking is key."
She ran some warm water and soaked a washcloth in it,
then wiped off the mingled bodily fluids trickling down her
thighs, dried herself, and pulled on the clean pair of under-
wear.
Wrapping the washcloth and towel together, she stuffed it
into the bathroom hamper.
By now, her heart rate was beginning to stabilize. Holding
on to the edge of the tile counter, she forced herself to breathe
in and out slowly to avoid the telltale hiccups she tended to
develop when she was nervous.
She counted to fifty, then flushed the toilet and let the water
run in the sink to maintain the illusion that she'd started by
closing the door hard so that her mother could hear it.
When she couldn't think of one more reason to stay, she
took hold of the doorknob, then gazed up at the ceiling.
"Please," she begged of whomever might be listening. "Help
me now and I'll never ask for another thing as long as I
live-so-help-me-god-amen."
At the top of the staircase she saw William's shirt just
lying there, a piece of highly incriminating evidence. She
bent down to pick it up."
"Whose shirt is that?"
Joyce was standing at the foot of the stairs. Startled,
Buffy nearly yelped out loud.
"This shirt?" she asked, balling the material up in her
fist. "This is my shirt."
"I don't remember ever seeing it before."
"It's...new?" The words came out as a question.
"Oh. Well, put it on," Joyce encouraged. "Let me
see how it looks."
"Aren't we having tea?" There was no hope for it, but
it didn't hurt to try. Pulling the shirt on, she walked down-
stairs and stood still for inspection.
The garment was ridiculously large, its sleeves hanging
well below her hands.
Her mother frowned slightly. "It doesn't fit you very
well, does it? " she observed critically. "What size
is it?"
"Mmmmmedium?" Another question.
Joyce tilted her head, a signal that her bullshit detector
had just activated. "Didn't you try it on before you
bought it?"
Buffy swallowed hard. "I didn't...well, actually...I
didn't exactly BUY it...you know, like...like go into
a store and...and say 'I'll take THAT one'."
Joyce waited. Buffy squirmed.
"Xander!" she all but shouted, grabbing the only
semi-plausible excuse she could come up with. "He
didn't like the color...on him...so he gave it to me
because...because I did. Like it."
"Really?" Joyce asked, one eyebrow arched. "I can't
seem to picture Xander wearing a shirt like that. It
looks expensive."
Buffy was willing to bet that it was. Before she could
open her mouth to reply, the doorbell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Look into my heart
You will find
There's nothing left to hide..."
~~~~~~~~~~
Moving from behind her mother, Buffy dove for the
door, pulling it open wide to reveal William standing
on the porch. His eyes widened in brief appreciation
when he saw her wearing his shirt.
"Hi!" she said. Her voice cracked, and she cleared her
throat to try again. "Hi."
He smiled. "Hello."
She wanted very badly to grab him by the front of his
new shirt and drag him inside. Only the thought of
what her mother would have to say about that kept her
from doing it.
"Come in," she said, sending an urgent message
of need with only her eyes. She stepped back
to allow him in, closing the door behind him.
"Mom, this is...this is..."
"William Hamilton," he put in.
"William Hamilton," Buffy echoed.
Joyce smiled pleasantly. "Yes, we met last night,"
she said. "I see you found her at the dance."
"I did," he agreed politely. "Thank you again. I'd just
gotten into town and I was...very anxious to see her."
"Yes, I could tell," Joyce said dryly, then turned to
look at Buffy. "Do you have a date tonight?"
"Yes," Buffy nodded, then shook her head. "No. Not
exactly. Not a...not a 'going out' date. It's more of a
staying here and meeting YOU...thing."
Joyce looked pleased. No other boy Buffy had
ever gone out with had volunteered to sit down and
talk with her mother.
"How nice," she said sincerely. "I've made some
tea."
William acknowledged the invitation. "Thank you."
"Buffy? Why don't you and William go on into the
front room and I'll bring it in?"
Not trusting her voice, Buffy just nodded agreeably.
Once they were sitting side by side on the couch, he
grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips for a soft
kiss. "You all right, kitten?"
She nodded again, holding tightly to his hand. "Don't
let go."
"I don't intend to." Looking into her eyes, he smiled. "I
promise you it will all work out. I'll do anything I have to
do to make that happen."
"I know."
"Do you believe me?"
"Uh-huh."
"Good."
It was not the most eloquent exchange, but it
served the purpose well.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Take me as I am
Take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice.."
~~~~~~~~~~
The tea was poured, and a few social amenities
had been observed when Joyce cut straight into
the heart of the matter.
"I have some concerns," she said, placing her cup
on the coffee table and looking directly at William.
"That's understandable," he replied, waiting for her
to continue.
She settled back into her chair, crossing her
arms over her chest. "Let's get the most obvious one
out in the open. How old are you?"
Twenty-eight at the time of his turning, he felt he could
safely take off a few years. "I'm twenty-five last January."
Joyce glanced at her daughter."Older than I thought,
then." She returned her narrowed gaze to William. "You
DO know that Buffy is only sixteen?"
"I believe she's almost seventeen."
"My point is that she's much younger than you."
"Yes, she is," he conceded. "And, believe me, I didn't
set out to fall in love with a sixteen year old girl."
Turning his gaze to Buffy's, he squeezed her hand. "It
just...happened."
Joyce leaned forward. "In love?"
"Very much."
"How exactly did that happen?"
They both sketched out a brief explanation of the
relationship that had developed during Joyce's
absence, leaving out the intimate details that no
mother wants to hear spoken.
She was impressed by the story, and more than
a little enchanted by it as well.
But enchanted or not, there were still some things
that disturbed her.
"When I came back from New York," she said. "Buffy
was going to introduce you to me."
He knew there was no avoiding what was coming. "I
know," he said softly, wondering how many years
would have to pass before he could call up the memory
of what he'd done without it making him sick at heart.
"And I left her. I'm not excusing it, and I'm not going
to try and explain the...the circumstances.."
"I don't care about the circumstances," Joyce said
bluntly. "I care about my daughter's heart...and her
feelings. You're the man who shattered them to
pieces."
Sighing deeply, he stared at the floor. "Yes."
Joyce was silent for a moment, then said, "But...you're
also the man who seems to have...put them back
together."
Buffy, who had said nothing at all, now spoke up. "He
really did, Mom."
Joyce met her daughter's pleading eyes. "I believe you,"
she said simply. "I saw how things changed."
Turning back to William, she said, "I know this is going
to sound absurdly old fashioned," she began, "but I'm
going to assume that your...intentions...are honorable
ones?"
William's head jerked up. "Entirely."
"And," she went on, "you understand that there are
certain things that I will not tolerate happening until
she's MUCH older."
Buffy's face turned crimson. "Mom!"
Joyce shook her head. "Buffy...he isn't one of the
boys you've dated in the past. He's a grown man, and
I have to know that he'll be able to...put these things to
one side until you're old enough for that sort of relation-
ship."
This was obviously not a time for any 'true confessions'.
"Mrs. Summers..."
"You can call me Joyce."
Briefly surprised, William nodded. "Thank you. Joyce, I
understand what you're referring to. It's not a problem
for me."
"Maybe not now...but what about a few months from
now?" She shrugged. "Can I trust you not to...press her
for anything like that?"
"Yes," he said. "Yes, you can."
"Plus," Joyce went on to point out, "she's in high school.
She has to put school before any kind of relationship. She
has curfews you'll have to abide by. Can you?"
"Yes."
~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more
You know it's true, everything I do
I do it for you..."
~~~~~~~~~~
Joyce sat quietly, mulling the whole thing over in
her mind.
She wanted very much to believe in all of this, for
Buffy's sake. Her child had always worn her heart on
her sleeve, and it was there now, beating with all the
sincerity that only a sixteen year old girl in love for
the first time could feel.
This man who said he loved her, loved her enough to
wait for her to grow up a bit more, was also showing
his emotions in a most unguarded fashion.
But she was under no illusions. Love that burned like
this couldn't be contained for long. He and Buffy would
become intimate long before she reached her majority.
Joyce was smart enough to know that there was no
preventing that.
All she really wanted was a bit of time first, time to get
used to it, time to get to know him, to make certain she
could trust him to do right by her child.
She leaned forward, willing him to meet her eyes.
"Promise me that you'll take care of her, no matter what
happens. Look at me and tell me that you'll be responsible
for her, that you'll answer for her future."
William didn't hesitate. "I'll love her...and take care of
her...until the end of the world, Joyce."
Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "I'm going
to take a gigantic leap of faith here," she finally said.
"I think...that I can trust you. Don't make me sorry I
did."
~~~~~~~~~~
"There's no love, like your love
And no other, could give more love
There's nowhere, unless you're there
All the time...all the way..."
~~~~~~~~~~
"I know I really should have asked you this before
but...you have a job of some kind?"
William nodded. "I'm financially secure. I have
some...investments and a large inheritance. She'll
have everything she could possibly want."
Joyce smiled. "Oh. Well, that's a very nice thing for a
mother to hear."
Buffy couldn't hold back. "He already gave me a ring.
Mom. I took it off before you came home, because...I
wasn't sure what you'd think."
"I see."
"But...I don't want to keep any secrets from you. And
if...if you don't want me to wear it yet...then I won't."
Joyce almost laughed at the glum look and tone her
daughter was projecting. "Buffy," she said, trying to
maintain a serious expression. "A ring isn't something to
be ashamed of."
"I'm NOT ashamed of it," Buffy protested loudly. "I'm
really proud of it."
"Honey...that didn't come out the way I meant it to.
I'm sorry...and thank you for being honest about it."
"Do you want to see it?" her daughter asked eagerly.
"I would love to."
Buffy reached up under her sweater and felt around for
the clasp on the chain she was wearing. It came apart,
and the cool metal fell into her hand.
"Oh, my...Buffy. That's stunning!" Joyce took her daughter's
hand and stared at the ring, then at William. "I guess you
definitely can support her, than?"
"Very well," he assured her, leaning back into the sofa
cushions.
One gigantic weight had finally been lifted.
Unfortunately, it was just the beginning.
They still had miles to go.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more
I would fight for you, I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you
You know it's true
Everything I do
I do it for you...."
~~~~~~~~~~
TBC...
Feedback would be lovely
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