Now she stood at the bus stop, body tensed, poised for action, but what action or what form it would take, he wasn't sure. He kept his gaze on his trainers and remained wisely silent.
"You don't have to stand with me." Buffy said, staring steadily at the passing traffic. "This is a busy corner. I'll be fine. I don't want you to get in trouble."
He looked up at her. "Buffy, is something wrong? Are you upset about what happened at the gym?"
'Yes,' Buffy thought truthfully, 'but not about what you think.' She also thought she was beginning to have an inkling as to just why she was upset too, which only served to confuse her more. She sighed and relaxed her stance a little as she answered, "Yes, I guess so," and looking directly at him said, "It was a little scary. Kinda wigged me out, you know?"
"Yeah, it was," he paused. "Guess you signed up for lessons, then?" At her nod, he said softly, "Well, I'll walk you out here afterwards, if you like. Make sure no one bothers you. You'll need to be careful getting here though." He looked around, "It's not all that bad an area, but some of the guys at the gym are a little... and if they've noticed you…which they did..."
"I'm going to try to get here right after school, earlier than I did today. Maybe I can avoid a little hassle if I do. You know, less crowded and also – more daytime! Always of the good. But thanks, the offer is appreciated." Buffy suddenly smiled at him, a genuine, unforced smile and William felt a curious lightening feeling all over. He'd been carrying around so much stress and worry and sadness and hadn't realized how much it was weighing him down until that one smile somehow managed to lessen the horrible, smothering load for a moment. He wasn't certain why that should be so, but the tension eased…and he was ok, like he hadn't been since, well…awhile; he was ok, if only briefly.
Buffy glanced down at the sidewalk and continued, "I don't know if I thanked you for earlier, it's kinda hazy, but if I didn't…thanks." She met his eyes again shyly and looked like she was about to say something else, but the bus pulled up.
"You're welcome, luv." William replied. She shot him another smile and hopped onto the bus.
Weaving quickly through the throng of students, Buffy fumbled the books for her next class and dropped one, sending it flying across the hall. An irritated noise escaped her as she headed for the fallen book. 'Thank goodness it's Friday,' she thought. She was surprised when, before she could rearrange the other books to bend down and pick up the escapee, a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder and the errant book was held out in front of her. She mumbled her thanks and took it, preparing to race off again and then she stopped, taking in just who had helped her. "Ummm…thanks, Angel." Buffy said and recovering, turned to go.
"Wait," Angel said, tightening his hold almost imperceptibly on her shoulder to prevent her from leaving. At her flinch, he removed the offending hand and let it drop to his side. "Buffy, could we talk?" He knew her face well, knew her every expression, so he saw the refusal coming and said hurriedly, "Please? Just for a few minutes? After class maybe? Before lunch?"
Buffy studied him warily, his tone was undeniably sincere and the confident, easy arrogance he shrugged on daily as naturally as his football uniform was absent. She'd rarely seen him like this in the two years they'd dated. She sighed; she was going to be late. "Fine. Before lunch. No closet!"
Angel winced, "No closet. One of the benches by the south side ok?"
Buffy nodded.
"Ok, see you then." Angel disappeared into the lessening crowds, leaving a somewhat stunned and definitely puzzled Buffy in his wake.
Buffy perched on the end of the bench uncomfortably. Angel sprawled on the other end, keeping a respectful distance.
Buffy waited.
After a few minutes, she said impatiently, "Angel, I'm out here. You said you wanted to talk, but you haven't said anything."
He raised puppy dog brown eyes to her and said, "Well, I wanted to say I was sorry. That's one thing."
Buffy shook her head, "You already said that, remember? I told you I forgave you for my wrist. We had that conversation."
"Yeah, I know," he said, dipping his head, "I am so sorry for that, but you know that already. No, I wanted to apologize for the Cordelia thing."
Buffy had thought the pain of that had been mostly dulled, but hearing him say this brought a new unexpected pang to her heart. Annoyed at herself, she said, "I don't think there's anything to say about that." She clarified, "Well, there's nothing I want to hear from either of you. Not that Cordy's tried," she added bitterly.
Staring him directly in the face, she said, "You knew why I wanted to take a break. It wasn't some dumb fight, or jealousy that you looked at another girl or something equally stupid and petty. You knew. You knew I had a good reason." He lowered his eyes, unable to hold her gaze, "You knew I was afraid of you. You knew you'd hurt me, more than just this," she brought her cast up, "and we didn't say anything about whether the break was going to be permanent. So the next day, after two years with me, you're with my best friend?" She shook her head again, "Correction, former best friend. Now you want to apologize. Why? What's the point?"
Angel exhaled noisily, letting out a deep sigh of frustration, "Look, I know there's nothing I can do. I know it was wrong. I know I'm an asshole sometimes and I let my temper get away." He looked into her green eyes pleadingly and said simply, "I miss you." A hurt look came over his face as he reached a hand towards her and she drew back slightly. "I was mad. The Cordelia thing…I was mad. Two years and you didn't trust me anymore and the whole fight in the hall and the hanging out and hugging that guy…I was mad at you."
Buffy looked at him incredulously, "Wait, you were still upset about William?" At his nod, she said, "I told you I was just thanking him. I-" Realization hit her, "You weren't giving William such a hard time because of Harmony and Willow, you were angry at him about me…"
Angel said nothing.
"I told you there wasn't anything to worry about. William never did anything wrong and neither did I. It was just studying." Buffy experienced a mild pang of guilt as she uttered this statement, though she knew it was true at the time of the events they were discussing. No need to inform Angel about any possible recent changes in her feelings, she reassured herself, after all said feelings weren’t even official feelings yet, they were…almost…um wannabe feelings maybe, not real at all yet, really. It was none of his business now anyway and there still wasn't anything to tell and…Buffy cut her internal ramblings off abruptly. "You knew I loved you. There wasn't any reason to take it out on William. He did nothing wrong," she repeated.
Angel finally said, "I didn't like it. People kept coming up to me and telling me what fun you looked like you were having in the library and how he went to your house and-" he said softly, "I didn't like it, Buffy."
Floored, Buffy leaned back into the bench. She'd never seen him allow himself to show this much vulnerability before, cocky shell completely vanished so that he sat beside her, merely a hurt boy. The football playing elitist was nowhere in sight. "Angel, you didn't have to do what you did. We could've talked about it more…we could've…"
"Yeah, well he's not hurt is he?" He muttered darkly.
"Not for lack of trying!" Buffy shot back at him.
"Hey, Riley started that-" Angel protested and gave up. "Ok, I did what I did." He paused, "Look, I'd like for you to forgive me. I'd like for you to give me a second chance - give us a second chance." He waved off the protests as they died on her lips, "I'd like that, but I know you're still mad at me. Maybe some time would-" he looked at her almost wistfully, "but that's not all I wanted to talk to you about. I heard you're going out with Parker tonight."
Buffy frowned, "Yes, well… yes I'm going out with him - he told you?"
Angel nodded sadly. "Yeah, well uh, I wanted to say-" he stopped, unsure of how to say what he wanted to and then blurted out, "Don't. Don't go out with him, Buffy. He's bad news. I know you think you know him, but you really don't-"
Buffy stood up, "Angel, you can't tell me who to go out with. I know he's your friend and-" She shot him a significant look, "that's probably not making you feel too great, but-"
Agitated, Angel rose too and thoughtlessly put his hands on her shoulders, as if he wanted to shake into her the real motivation behind what he was saying. "NO! No, that's not it, I swear, Buffy. It's him, the way he treats girls-"
Buffy froze and said with steel in her tone, "Don't touch me, Angel." When his hands dropped, she started to leave and then said, "If he treated girls all that badly, don't you think I'd know? I mean, people DO talk." She shook her head at him. "I know he's a bit of a player, plenty of girls have said that, but…" She didn't want to add that she hadn't even accepted the date in the first place and thought it was likely to be the first and LAST date she had with Parker if she had any control over it. That was immaterial. It was none of his business.
Angel slumped back on the bench, head in his hands, and said, "He pretends he's older and picks up mostly college girls, Buffy. You haven't talked to any of them. You really don't know him." Angel's voice was now tinged with anger, "I knew you wouldn't believe me. Trying to tell you something for your own good and you think-" his tone was still low, but urgent, "He doesn't like you, Buffy, other than for what he can get from you. He won't be good to you."
Buffy had had enough. "Like you were? Angel, thank you for your concern, but I think I'm old enough to decide who I date on my own." With that, she left him on the bench alone.
Buffy appeared at the gym promptly after school, already dressed and ready for her lesson. William took in her baggy, grey, oversized t-shirt and loose, black sweatpants. She saw him looking and grinned, "Borrowed 'em from my Mom. My camouflage! Thought it might be better, I won't stand out as much maybe. I'm going to shower and change at home, too." She shrugged, "Just be easier that way."
He smiled at her, "Much better, pet." The clothes didn't show anywhere near as much as the more blatant outfit she'd worn yesterday and they might make her a little less noticeable at a glance around the room, but he doubted she could ever blend in at the gym in any attire. "You should still be careful, though."
"Oh!" Buffy rummaged in her duffle bag, pushing aside her towel. "I've got this!" She held up a can of pepper spray proudly. She'd gone through Joyce's ‘city kit’, kept packed for occasional trips to L.A. and New York and appropriated the spray.
William gently pushed the can until it was facing down. "May want to watch where you point that." He grinned again and then sobered. "Mmmm, one thing though, pet, whoever's bothering you isn't going to wait for you to find that and pull it on him. You'll want to make sure you put it somewhere you can get to it fast. Preferably your pocket or maybe this outside pocket on the bag. That one's not ideal though, because you could drop it."
Buffy flushed, feeling silly, "Yeah, that would be good, huh. Can't exactly say, 'Hey Mr. Robber guy, could you hang on a minute? I need to grab the stuff that'll make you cry…’"
"Hardly," William laughed and pointed the way to one of the training rooms. There were no formal "rings" of any kind at the gym, but there were large private rooms for sparring and other activities that required room to spread out. He pushed the door open to one of these.
"You can drop your bag over there," he indicated a corner.
When she'd done so and was waiting expectantly in the center of the room, he said, "Ok, so yesterday, I taught you what?"
Buffy rolled her eyes but said, "Run, if I can."
"Right, so that's your goal and you said what if you couldn't run-" William approached her and stopped at arm's length. "Hold out your right arm." Buffy extended the appendage obediently. "Ok, so there are a few simple ways to break someone's hold on you." He grabbed her wrist firmly, but not hard enough to hurt and walked her through the exercise, teaching her how to maneuver her wrist and hand to break free. After she'd done this successfully several times, he showed her what to try if someone put his hands or arm around her throat.
This required getting a little closer to her than he was comfortable with, but he managed to conceal his nervousness fairly well, he thought.
As he talked and demonstrated, he was immensely grateful that he'd sat in on his mother's sessions while waiting for her. Her classes had been geared for women who didn't have much interest in martial arts, but did want to know a few ways to defend themselves. He could've started Buffy out with what he'd learned first, but he wanted her to learn some effective techniques immediately, not over long years of study.
They went over the vulnerable parts of the body and he pointed out parts that could be best used to inflict damage.
"Who would've thought my elbow was such a deadly weapon?" Buffy giggled and used said elbow to jab him lightly in the ribs.
"Yeah, well don't overlook the obvious - stomp on his foot, poke at his eyes, jab, hit, knee at any of those areas I showed you - anything to distract him so you can use the stuff you just learned to get away." William said seriously as he backed off. He thought she was doing pretty well. She picked things up very quickly. 'Must be the cheerleading and skating, she's a natural at physical stuff.'
Buffy was puzzled by the faint flush that appeared on William's cheeks at the unexpected thought that popped into his head after that one.
She pouted at him. "When do I get to learn the cool stuff? You know-" She brought her fists up, adopted a mock boxing stance and did a little hopeful kick in his direction. Buffy was having fun. Who knew learning to defend yourself could be so much fun? But she thought William was taming the lesson down for her too much, she wanted to start on the exciting harder things.
William laughed, "You know that phrase 'you have to learn to walk before you run', pet. Invented for you."
She pouted harder and toed the mat rebelliously. "I've got this stuff down. I can do the getting away part! I can do harder stuff!"
He raised an eyebrow at her, "Yeah?" She had less than a second's warning before he lunged and took her down to the mat, rolling so his body took the impact and her wrist wouldn't be jarred. He pinned her arms to her sides and her legs to the floor and laughed down at her. "Can you get away now?"
Buffy frowned and struggled ineffectively. "No."
"This is an important lesson too," he said, easily keeping her controlled. "There are a few things you could do, but it's far better to remember to never let anyone get you on the ground. It lessens your options and makes it harder to get up and away quickly, even if you do manage to get in a hit."
Big, green eyes stared up at him and he was suddenly very aware of the position they were in and the movement of her body against his as she tried to unseat him. Buffy's lips parted, soft and pink, opened slightly as though she was about to say something or…
The door creaked open. "Spike," Drusilla said sweetly and crossed the room to them, eyeing Buffy with distaste.
The moment was broken and he loosed his grip on Buffy's arms, jumping up to offer her a hand.
"Hello, Dru. You remember Buffy from the other day," he said.
Drusilla smiled insincerely in Buffy's direction. "Of course. May I borrow you a moment?" She plucked at his arm and led him a little ways away, but not far enough for Buffy to be unable to hear the conversation. Buffy concentrated on tying the laces on her shoes, but couldn't help listening.
"We're still on for tonight, yes?" Drusilla flicked an imaginary piece of lint off of the front of his black t-shirt and then kept her hand resting lightly on his chest.
William ran his hand through his hair, mussing it even further than the lesson had. "Sure. Eight thirty?"
"Yes and then we're all going back to my place afterwards." She tilted her head up at him thoughtfully, "You do need a retouch, you know."
He plucked her hand gently away and shook his head at her, grinning, "No way you're turning it blue this week. Not a chance."
Drusilla smiled and pouted playfully in mock disappointment, "But it might look good…" Amusement flashed in her eyes at his strangled protest in response, "Fine, fine, no blue. Only the bleach again. It does look good, you know it does. Maybe we’ll do it tomorrow?"
He shook his head and said firmly, “Can’t stay tonight, Dru. Have to get home for Jenny.”
Bringing a hand up to his cheek, she placed a kiss on the other, "Ok. We’ll figure out when. See you tonight, then." She didn't look at Buffy again as she made her way out.
Buffy had thought in the moment before the door opened that William might kiss her, but now she realized she must've misread him. 'He likes that singer,' she thought sadly, 'has a date with her and everything and let her change his hair to what she wanted and he stays over at her house… I'm just his job.' She grudgingly acknowledged the other girl's visible attractions to herself, graceful, tall and slender, long dark hair, pretty eyes - but she was so strange and unpleasant and ugh, had such terrible taste in clothes. 'Goth gone wrong,' she thought pettily.
Reflecting on her own short stature and generally perky attitude, she mused despondently that if that Drusilla girl was William's type, she couldn't compete. This was a relatively foreign concept to Buffy and she decided she didn’t much like it as she jerked the laces of her second shoe hard in frustration, pulling them tight.
William came over to her, offering his hand to help her off the mats.
"Got it," she said sharply, "thanks," and got to her feet herself.
"Right." William said, at a loss and wondering again at the sudden mood change Drusilla seemed to effect in Buffy whenever they met, "Umm, ok then. Good first lesson, yeah?" They walked to the door, "I'll just let Mr. Crawford know I'll need ten minutes or so and then we can go."
Buffy put her hand on his arm, staying him, "That's ok, William. I have the pepper spray, right?" She smiled at him and he couldn't help contrasting this smile with the sheer sunshine of the day before. This one looked strained and false and he frowned at her. "You sure? It's not a problem, I can just-"
"Yes, I'm sure." Buffy said, "You can't always be worrying about protecting me here. That's not fair, you have stuff to do. I'll be ok." She picked up her bag and was about to leave when he stopped her.
He looked into her eyes, "The lesson was ok, wasn't it? You're not disappointed are you?" A thought struck him, "Didn't hurt you, did I?" He said, instantly remorseful and wishing he'd been less impulsive. 'That's it, ponce, tackle the girl and hurt her first time out. Fine job, that.'
She gave him a half smile, "No, of course not. The lesson was great. I learned a lot," she said reassuringly, but then she thought, ‘I learned too much,’ and a briefly unhappy look crossed her face, belying her next words, "much more fun than the machines, too." She went to the door again, said, "See you Monday," and fled.
End Note: Don't hate me too much, please! Thanks Brunettepet for making me think about Buffy’s safety going to and from the gym, I probably would’ve fudged right over that if it hadn’t been for your review. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I do really enjoy reading them and appreciate that you take the time to leave me your thoughts on how the story is going. So uh, yeah, and on that note….please review? :)