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Sleepwalking
It just suddenly seemed like everything-stopped-and the world went in slow motion. You know one of those moments that seem so surreal, that’s what it’s like? It was too much. It was too much for everyone. Too much to take in-were Spike’s senses would of been screaming at him a moment before, scent of his enemies all around, the fluster of the mob so far below in such an insane melee, the loud clang of the giant hammer as it struck it’s target more and more frequently and rapidly, echoing back up here-but then he sort of shut it all out and most of it was fuzzy. He remembered Willow’s urgent voice in his head-which very well could of been his own-climbing up the platform at flat-out full speed. . . simply shoving aside the demon before it even had a chance to respond, doing things in a quick, very mechanical way. . . but then he found himself already on the ground level, Dawn in his arms as he carried her away to safety-she was quavering, shaking, he was trying to hush her-
Then everyone else rose from the mess and all seemed to gravitate towards the two immerging triumphantly, almost like the entire world was spinning and Spike and Dawn were at the center-and then there was Buffy. . .
And there was a lot of yelling and crying and hugging going on, and it took Spike time to realize somehow he was sort of caught in a group hug between Dawn and Buffy, most likely an accident-probably forgot he was there. . . somebody was hushing- it’s over, it’s over-shh-shh, it’s all right now. . . . rocking back and forth like a mother rocked a child. . .
Giles had said something. . . . so had Red. . . . somehow they all got back over to the beat-up RV and piled in, Giles taking the wheel, and were on the road driving all at once. . . he was just in such a state of shock, he missed most of that. . . didn’t matter. . . . it’s over. . . . it’s over. . . . we’re safe now. . . . it’s gonna be all right. . . shh. . . the soothing words of reassurance, whoever was speaking them, began to softly meld away as Spike felt consciousness slipping, and exhaustion take over.
When he awoke again things were a bit more clear this time, coming to him more easily. It was dark, they were still driving-still in the RV, odd. Aah, yes, it was a long drive out here, he remembered now-it would be a long ways back. He shut his eyes and breathed in deep, felt so warm. . . . so warm. . . suddenly wondered why that was and his confused mind put scattered pieces together-was sleeping on top of somebody, or the other way around, really-yes, right. . . . . drifting off again. . . yes, sleep. . . .
"Shh, I don’t want to wake her. "
"It’s-ok, there you go. You sure you can make this last hour? "
"Yes, thank you, Xander, I’m fine. "
Spike opened his eyes again to the dimly lit cabin of the Winnebago, feeling much better already, his vampire-healing having done an amazing job in such a short amount of time. He now was noticing more-yes, there was Willow and the other witch over on that side, and then Xander sitting across from him Anya leaning on his shoulder and Dawnie on his lap, they were fast asleep, and Xander was blinking back the sleep himself-Giles still driving doggedly-somebody shifted beside, well, more like on top of Spike; oh! He realized with some mild surprise that it was the Slayer. He blinked and realized that it didn’t seem to matter much, because the fact that he had Buffy sleeping on top of him could not sink into his head quite yet. . . . so he just sat there a while, gazing at the ceiling through a veil of blonde hair as an odd strand of hers had spread over his vision. As the car rolled along and the distance was put between the group and Glory’s massacre, they were more able to put it behind themselves mentally. Going home. It was done now. Done. . . the surrealness of the situation melted away like snow as they glided back to Sunnydale. Spike made an effort to stay awake this time, despite still being rather drowsy. He wanted to remember this. The only time it didn’t matter to anyone that he was a monster-he was treated like everyone else, for a short while. He wanted to know what it was like to have that feeling slip away, slowly for everyone’s minds to come back online, realize they were alive, remember they had a cold-blooded vampire among them. . . he wanted to witness that. Not because he’d get any kind of thrill out of their awkwardness or their shock, but because he wanted to bask in the glow of acceptance as long as possible. . .
So he sat there and the Winnebago moved on. Headlights dipped in and out of the cabin, drawing patterns over the worn team, the soft rush of cars passing by like some kind of artificial ocean. He just sat and watched that and just tried to feel for the longest time. A thing vampires usually avoid at all costs.
It was during the final stretch home that was most interesting. He was long since finished sitting in a daze, and now felt the eyes of the others boring into him-outsider, monster-yes, things were back to their old self-and he finally started to take in the rest of things. Like, for example, the Slayer-
Who had her arms wrapped around his waist and her head against his chest like she was cuddling a giant teddy bear or something, sleeping pretty much on his lap? He was certain she’ll be mortified later for that, but for now she rested so peacefully. . . . seemed so content. He spent the rest of that time basking in her glow, just this amazing girl. Her hair was strewn in all directions and he had to pull a few strands back to see her peaceful face better. Xander cleared his throat uncomfortably and Spike pauses his loving gaze upon her long enough to look up and see the boy rather ready to yank him out of his seat and give him a good beating. Spike stares at him levelly, as if daring him to do so, and then Red, who had been watching, puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. They hold a silent conversation of looks, and Xander gives up, goes back to stroking Dawn’s hair almost like a kitten. So protective of his friends. . . he could be so cold to some and so tender to others. . . Spike supposed he wasn’t much different than himself in that sense, but gag, to have any likeness to that stupid poof-
But no matter, at least Willow was smart enough to see that even if she didn’t like im’, Buffy was sound asleep and needed that. So Spike was free to enjoy that as best he could with Xander watching his every move. Of course he expected no less from the boy.
Buffy shifts in her sleep and buries her face deeper into his shirt and sighs, making a soft sound of contentment. It sends delicious vibrations through Spike’s body. ‘That’s what they mean by warm fuzzies, ’ he thought distractedly. It was bizarre, a totally new experience for him. To simply be tingling, and not completely out of sexual desire, but of-happiness or love or something . . . odd.
It may of been new to him, but the vampire decided he liked it, anyway.
She mutters in her sleep, her warm breath grazing his skin, and he can practically feel her own unique scent settling down on him, knowing he would smell like vanilla for several hours afterwards. God. If this wasn’t what Heaven was like, than somebody stake him now. . .
A sudden bump in the car and he realizes they have gotten off the highway. Oh, bugger. . . they were almost there. The vampire wished he had snapped out of his daze sooner in the trip so he could just focus on Buffy longer, but ehh. . . was already lucky as it was, he supposed. . .
"Spike-"
He looked up at who had whispered his name-Willow.
"We’re almost back. You need to-" she nods to Buffy- "wake her up. "
Yeah. Wake her up. He nods and looks back down at his Slayer. Curled up in his lap, she is the picture of pure innocence, when she was anything but. Purely amazing how she can hold such a deception. Spike reaches out to lightly shake her shoulder but instead decides to stroke her hair back. She sighs at his touch, and he is amazed. Never has his touch caused comfort to her-only anger and disgust. He wanted to be able to bring her comfort all the time. He looks up at Willow a moment but she is watching him expectantly. Damn it. He so very much did not want to do this. Regretfully he gave her shoulder a soft shake. She ‘hmmm’ed’.
"Buffy, " he murmured in her ear. "C’mon, Slayer, time to get up. "
She mumbles something-
"What’s that? "
"Don wanna. . . "
"Buffy, " he tries again softly, unable to help but pet her. She sighs again and seems to sink deeper. Her half-asleep voice comes muffled and innocent.
"No. . . sleep. . . . "
He looks back up at Willow who had been watching, trying his best to look pleadingly at her.
"Do I really have to? "
Xander was glaring by now at him but he didn’t care. The snip wouldn’t dare say anything because the witch was his best friend and she was handling it.
"Yea, pretty much, " she answered quietly so as not to wake Dawn, Tara or Anya.
He shook less subtly now, speaking in an almost normal tone,
"Buffy, c’mon, up and at em’ now. "
She squinted her eyes shut and moaned in protest.
"Go away, lemme sleep, damnit. . . "
Spike shook his head with a smile, in disbelief at the whole situation. He was telling her to get off him.
"C’mon, Slayer, I’m sure vampires aren’t the greatest teddy bears in the world anyway. All cold and-"
"Hm, you’re wrong though. Cos’. . . they’re like electric blankets. . . . once they warm up. . . mm. . . "
Sounded like she was drifting off to sleep again. Spike looked back up at the two watching Scoobies just to make sure he wasn’t hearing things, and this really was reality. Too good, man. This was too good. He decided to test how good. . .
"All right, Buf, if you don’t want to wake up, I’m gonna have to give you a kiss goodnight then, so how’s that-"
The vampire held a hand up as Xander had started to get up, eyes glowing like embers in the dark, burning with fiery vengeance-
"Was only kidding, mate, cool your jets, Jesus. "
He stood there a moment to stare Spike down, and then Willow tugged on his shirt, urging him to sit back down so she could handle it. After a few beats he did.
"Don’t worry about it, Spike, somebody can carry her if she’s really out that cold. "
Ok, yea, so that means she was saying she could stay? Oh, the Gods must be smiling down on him today, honestly-
The Winnebago took a tight turn and Spike realized they were driving through the familiar streets of Buffy’s neighborhood. Ah, there so fast? Damn. . .
Before he knew it the car’s engine shut off to leave only the sounds of the quiet night to keep them company. Giles had gotten out. . . the group was rousing and getting up slowly.
"Right, quietly, don’t wake her. "
"You get the door, Will. "
"Yea, I’m gonna, hang on. "
Will came up to Spike who had been calmly sitting there, C’mon, " she whispered, "Pick her up, we’re there. "
Spike looked at her with confusion a moment, wondering if it would be a good idea, but saw everyone was watching him expectantly, already outside the car, and nobody seemed to be protesting Willow’s request-nobody conscious, anyway, so he did, easily lifting up and standing with the Slayer still asleep in his arms. He gazed down a moment in disbelief at her-he really was carrying a willing Slayer and her friends weren’t biting him to bits and pieces over it. Will wonders ever cease.
He followed the Wiccan out the door carefully and found that Xander was carrying a sleeping Dawn-they both followed Red up to Buffy’s house while the others stayed behind with the car. At this point it felt most unreal again. Spike and Xander looked at each other simultaneously, both seeming to have a hard time processing things.
"You know she’d kill me if she found out anybody carried her, let alone me. "
Xander grinned at Spike’s comment.
"Yeah, probably would kill me too. "
He mused over this as they made their way across the lawn, the early dew clinging to his jeans, the soft shoof of their feet, just watching the starlight dance across the still-peaceful blonde’s face.
"She’s so strong. You wouldn’t even believe. . . how incredibly strong she is. Both of them. "
Xander nodded. Had Spike said that out loud?
"It awes me at times. But-"
Xander pauses a moment, regarding his Slayer thoughtfully, who looked so peaceful in Spike’s arms.
"She told me once it was really only her friends that made her that way. Not just for them. But because of them. "
Spike watched Willow fish her extra key out and unlock the door, and felt that in some odd and subtle way, the fierce guardian of the Scooby gang had been trying to tell him that he was a part of that group in some sense now-and even though Spike hated the kid’s guts and had always dearly wanted to twist his head off, for some reason at that moment it made him feel pleased. To be accepted even by him-it formed a small amount of respect in him for Xander. Who the Hell knew why? Tonight was an odd one.
Willow opened the door and lead the way inside and Spike followed behind Xander, a small smile playing on his lips and he easily crossed the threshold, remembering he no longer needed an invite. Willow and Xander muttered a minute and Spike followed them into the living room. Following Xander’s example he set his precious cargo down on the couch beside Dawn, Red was off in the other room somewhere doing something, he didn’t know what. They both stood a moment just to regard the two and then Willow materialized from behind them-aah, ok, blankets, a pillow-they stood back as Will fussed for a minute or two like a mother tucking in her young, then she turned and nodded to them. They started to leave but Spike could not take his eyes off the two girls tucked peacefully on the couch together. Red paused behind him.
"Spike, come on. "
It was soft but he sensed it to be a very direct order. It panged him a bit.
"We’re just gonna leave em’ here? "
"Yes, why not? "
His face creased with a look of genuine concern and Willow seemed to notice that, softened a bit.
"They need their rest after that. Spike, they’ll be all right. "
"Somebody should stay with them, though, " he said in an urgent whisper, not wanting to wake them. Xander was watching them expectantly from the threshold. Will gave him a glance and then came up to tug on the vampire’s leather-clad arm.
"They’ll be ok-"
"Yea, but-what about the morning? "
He turned to look at the young girl.
"They’ll wake up and, they’ll be alone-they should have somebody there. . . "
He looked at her pleadingly again,
"I don’t think I’d want to be alone like that if I was in their position. "
Will nodded, unable to fight with him this time, but Spike was still upset.
"They’ll-and lil’ bit-they might-"
"Shh, ok, we’ll figure something out-"
"Promise me you’ll come over or something. "
She seemed surprised a moment but then nodded yes.
"Yes. Promise. I’ll-I’ll come by early tomorrow, let myself in. "
Spike nodded, mostly to reassure himself,
"Ok, yea, good. Good-thanks, Red-"
She was gently leading him out of the room and he watched them as they left.
"You could-make them breakfast or something, that would cheer them up. "
He smiled at his own idea, imagining how that would be the perfect thing for them. Will looked with surprise at him again as they walked out the door.
"Hey, that’s actually a pretty good idea, yeah. "
Most of how it went after that was a blur again. They had gone back to the RV and driven. . . . . at some point Spike got back to his old crypt and shut the door and just gazed around for a bit.
"Back home, I guess. . . "
After that he just got on his couch and fell asleep, relieved to let the memories blur and fuzz and consume his mind as he drifted to sleep.
In a cozy little house on Sunnydale, Buffy shifts and sinks deeper into her pillow, sighing from under the comforter. Both her and her sister are out cold and probably would sleep well throughout the night.
They certainly deserved it.





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