Hannah had refused to go to bed at first, claiming that she wanted to be there when Spike showed up. When Buffy had, carefully, mentioned that maybe he wasn’t coming, the girl had first been furious at her for even suggesting such a thing. But as the time went by, she finally seemed to accept the fact that her mother could be right, and went to bed without a word. The crushed look on her daughter’s face when she went upstairs almost broke Buffy’s heart.
And now she was siting here, alone, wondering what could have possibly happened to make Spike stand her up. If she’d had his phone number, she could’ve called him. But since she didn’t, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do, except for worrying and feeling sorry for herself. She had really been looking forward to tonight, and now she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been this unhappy.
When the door bell finally did ring, she was startled by the shrill sound. Jumping up from the couch, she rushed to open the door. The relief she felt when she realized that Spike had finally showed up safely, quickly got replaced with anger when she smelled the waves of alcohol coming from him. “What the hell…?!”
“Buffy, ‘lo pet!” Spike took a step towards her, and managed to stumble on the threshold. He let out a drunken giggle, and noticed Buffy staring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. He frowned, obviously taken aback by her anger. “Wha’s wrong?” He glanced at his watch, and lowered his eyes. “S’pose m’a wee bit late.”
Snorting, Buffy stared at him in disbelief. “It’s ten thirty, Spike. You were supposed to have been here three hours ago.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it. “At first I thought you were just running late. Then I started wondering if I’d been stood up. And then, when I still hadn’t heard anything, I was convinced that something had happened to you. But instead you were just too busy getting drunk?!”
He looked away, suddenly looking very ashamed. “Can explain…”
“Yeah? You know, I’m really not interested in any of your pathetic excuses.” Buffy was furious. “Why, Spike? I thought you wanted to go out tonight. Couldn’t you at least have picked up a damn phone and called me?!” He mumbled something, and her eyes narrowed. “What?”
Spike looked up, but still didn’t meet her eyes. “Didn’t give me your number.”
Buffy opened her mouth to object, but realized that he was right. “Oh.” Then she shook her head, as if to clear it. “Well, that’s not the point. I can’t believe you could do this to me, and to Hannah! Do you have any idea how disappointed she was when she realized that you weren’t coming?”
Swallowing, Spike looked away again. “M’sorry. I’ll just…” He let out a defeated sigh. “…m’out of here. Sorry.” He turned around to leave.
“Wait!” Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him. She was still upset, but a little voice inside her head told her not to let him go. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it; she just felt that something was wrong. Maybe it was the miserable look on his face, maybe it was just intuition, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she suddenly didn’t want him to leave. “Stay.” Seeing that he was hesitating, she hurried to add; “Please.”
“Here, drink this.” Buffy handed him a cup of coffee, then sat down next to him on the couch. “And when you’re done, I’d really like an explanation.”
Spike leaned back on the couch with a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he sipped on his coffee, grimacing. “Don’t like coffee.” Seeing the stern look Buffy gave him, he sighed again and drank some more. “Bloody disgusting s’what it is.” Then he realized that she might be offended, and hurried to mumble a ‘thank you’.
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. You don’t like coffee. But it’ll help you sober up a bit, hopefully.” He nodded, swallowing down the rest of the hot beverage, then putting the empty cup on the table. “Good. Now…” Buffy eyed him a little cautiously, before she went on. “…do you mind telling me what happened tonight?”
He shrugged, looking down at his hands. It was obvious that he really didn’t want to talk about it, but Buffy wasn’t about to let it go. “Spike?”
“Made a mistake, m’sorry.” He finally looked up, a pleading note in his voice. “Had nothing to do with you, I really wanted to see you again. You have to believe me.”
Buffy couldn’t help but to let out a small sigh of relief. “Okay, good to hear. You had me worried there for a second.” She frowned. “Or for a couple of hours.” He looked ashamed again, and she gave him a small smile. “Go on. I have a feeling you wouldn’t down half a liquor store just because you were nervous about our date. What happened?”
Spike was quiet for a moment, not sure of how to begin. He’d hardly told Buffy anything about his past, at least not about his relationship with Drusilla, and he had a feeling that for her to be able to understand his actions tonight, he would have to tell her. At least some parts of it, anyway. And having that conversation was definitely not something he looked forward to. Not because he didn’t feel like he could talk to Buffy, but it would be a lot for her to take in and he didn’t want to scare her away. Not to mention that it would take quite some time to tell her the whole story.
“Right.” He took a deep breath, his mind made up. “Got a couple of hours?”
TBC