Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again. She’d been about to tell her daughter that she didn’t have to worry; of course Spike would stay. But then she hesitated, not sure if she had the right to make such a promise. She already liked Spike, a lot, and she didn’t doubt for a second that her feelings for him would only grow stronger the more they got to know each other. And she was convinced that he felt the same way about her. But still, you could never really know these things, right? What if they would get involved for real, and then some day, maybe two years from now, maybe next week, they would realize that it wouldn’t work, that they weren’t meant to be after all?

Then it was more than possible that Spike would leave, that he no longer would be a part of her, and Hannah’s life. And that would break the little girl’s heart. Buffy wasn’t about to fool herself; her heart would be broken as well. But she was an adult; she knew that sometimes relationships didn’t work out. Hell, she’d learned that the hard way. But it was different with Hannah.

Her daughter hadn’t even been born when Liam had left them, she’d never gotten the chance to get to know him, and therefore she’d never gotten attached to him. All she knew about her biological father was that he’d left, and that he’d never really cared about any of them. Buffy wished, so badly, that Hannah never would have found out the truth about him. But, of course, things hadn’t turned out the way she’d planned. When Hannah had come home from school one day, asking her if it was true that her real father had another family, another daughter, it had taken Buffy every ounce of self control not to run straight over to Liam’s house and rip his throat out. His and his bitch for a wife.

Although Buffy hated Liam’s daughter for what she was putting Hannah through every day in school, she knew she couldn’t really blame Kathy for spilling the secret. After all, she was only a kid. A spoiled brat and a bully, but still, just a kid. It was her parents; Liam and Cordelia, who had told her. Buffy couldn’t for her life understand why anyone would tell a kid something like that. But they had, and now Hannah was paying the price. Before she’d started school, Hannah had been happily oblivious of the past history of her parents, but when little Kathy O’Connor had entered her life, everything had changed.

Buffy realized now that she’d made a mistake when she’d given Hannah Liam’s surname, but back then she’d wanted the world to know that the baby was his, that the bastard had a kid he couldn’t care less about. But her plan had backfired; resulting in Hannah being teased by the other kids since the first day in school. And now – a couple of months later, she realized that it wouldn’t stop, and forcing the girl to have the same name as her worst tormentor was just cruel. So, she’d decided to change Hannah’s last name from O’Connor to her name – Summers, but she feared that it wouldn’t really change anything.

Now she wanted nothing more than to talk to Spike before answering her daughter’s question, desperate to hear his opinion on the matter, but of course she couldn’t. So, she took a deep breath, knowing that Hannah was waiting for her to answer. “Spike’s nothing like your father, sweetie. You know he cares about you.” Hannah nodded, after a moments hesitation, and Buffy went on; “But I can’t promise you that we’ll all live happily ever after, because… well, because you can never really know what’s going to happen. You know that.”

Hannah nodded again, smiling a little. “Spike said that he’ll always be my friend, even if he won’t marry you.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “He… he said that? When?”

“At the snake-house.” Hannah looked at her mother, a serious expression on her face. “He said that people can’t get married until they’re in love, and that when you really love someone you just feel it. But he didn’t say what it feels like.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe he doesn’t know. What do you think, Mommy?”

“Um… I…” Buffy shook her head as if to clear it, feeling slightly dizzy, but forced herself to focus on her daughter. “I don’t know, sweetie.”

“But you guys are dating now, right? So, you could fall in love and get married?” The hopeful look on Hannah’s face made Buffy smile, despite the confusing thoughts that kept rushing through her head.

“I’m not saying it could never happen. But…”

“Yaay!” Hannah started bouncing up and down on the couch.

“Hannah…” Buffy sighed, not wanting the girl to get her hopes up and then be disappointed later if things didn’t work out between them. But then, she figured that she would just have to deal with that when, or if, that day came. She was happy right now, happier than she’d been in a long time. And obviously, so was Hannah. All she could do was pray that it would last, for both of their sakes. God knew they could need some happiness in their lives. And, she thought, so could Spike. Just thinking of him now brought a big smile to her face, and suddenly she realized that she couldn’t wait to see him again. She decided to put all her worries aside and, for once, just live for the moment. “What do you say we call Spike and go out for ice-cream?”

The huge smile on her daughter’s face told her that she’d made the right decision. “Yeah! Please, Mommy, call him! Call him now!”

The girl’s enthusiasm was contagious, and it didn’t take long before Buffy was just as excited. “Okay! Wait! Why don’t we just go over there and surprise him? That would be fun, right?” Hannah giggled, nodding eagerly. “Great, then it’s settled. Come on, let’s go, I’ll race you to the car!”


TBC





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