When Buffy started telling her story, she realized how gullible she had been. Thinking about it now made her cringe, but back then, she’d been convinced that everything would work out her way. Of course, she’d been wrong. Although she’d lost quite a lot over the years, one thing she’d always managed to keep was her pride. But now, telling Spike about her mistakes, she suddenly feared for his reaction. But she was still going to tell him, after all, he’d told her about his past, it was only fair that she’d do the same thing.
She’d fallen in love with Liam O’Connor the moment she’d first laid eyes on him, but since he was engaged to her best friend, Cordelia, she’d considered him off limits. That was until he’d started to come on to her, one night at a fraternity party, and from that moment he’d kept hitting on her as soon as Cordelia was looking the other way. Buffy knew that the right thing would have been to tell her friend about it, but for some reason, she didn’t want it to stop. Flattered that Liam seemed to be truly interested in her, she’d decided to keep his actions a secret.
Buffy and Liam had started spending more and more time together, of course without Cordelia knowing about it. Buffy had felt really guilty about it, but Liam had convinced her that his relationship with Cordy was going down-hill, that he was going to break up with her as soon as he would find the right opportunity. Only, he never did. Buffy realized later that he’d never intended to end his relationship in the first place; she had been a fool to think she actually meant something to him. But she had been young, naïve, and really believed that Liam was her soul mate. Now she knew better.
Of course, Buffy hadn’t intended to sleep with Liam before he would end things with Cordelia; she’d considered that crossing the line. But Liam had wanted her, all of her, and he’d been very persistent about it. He’d promised her that if she would only agree to sleep with him, he’d leave Cordy the next day. And Buffy had wanted, so badly, to believe him. Liam hadn’t been the first guy she’d had sex with, but he was definitely the best, and their one night together had been wonderful. At least, that’s what she’d thought.
The next morning, she’d woken up alone. Liam had gone back to Cordelia, and told her everything. Only he’d made it come out as if it had been Buffy who had been the persistent one, that it had all been her idea from the beginning, and that he’d just went along with it to see how far she would go. And as if that was not enough, he’d also spread the rumor all around school that Buffy was betraying, easy, and not to mention terrible in bed. Cordelia had turned her back on her former best friend, and forgiven Liam instantly.
After that, school had been pure hell. She’d still had a few friends left, thankfully, one of them being Willow, who’d refused to listen to the gossip and actually believed in Buffy’s side of the story. She had tried, repeatedly, to talk to Cordelia, tried to explain that she’d never intended to hurt her, that she’d actually thought that they’d been about to break up their engagement, and that she was so sorry for everything. But Cordelia hadn’t wanted to listen to any apologies, she and her friends simply decided to make the rest of Buffy’s time in college as miserable as possible. Buffy had been beyond grateful when she’d graduated, only a few weeks later, but then came the next shock. She found out that she was pregnant.
Realizing that Liam was the only one who could be the father, Buffy finally decided to seek him out, after spending the first two months in denial, hoping that it all would just go away if she didn’t think about it. But when she’d started to show, she couldn’t deny it any longer, realizing that she was acting both childish and irresponsible. So she’d looked him up, without expecting anything from him, she’d just wanted to let him know that he was going to be a father. It turned out that Liam had moved in with Cordelia right after graduation. But not only that; he had also managed to make Cordy pregnant as well.
Liam had made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the child Buffy was carrying, not now, not ever. He and Cordy were about to get married at the time, and he had suggested that she would simply get rid of it, had even offered to pay for it. When she had refused, Liam had been furious, accusing Buffy of wanting to ruin his life. Buffy had left Liam’s house in despair, promising herself that she would raise her child alone, and never again have anything to do with either Liam or Cordelia. And for a long time, she’d thought she would succeed.
Her pregnancy went easier than she’d ever dared to hope for, and when she finally gave birth to a perfect little girl, her happiness knew no limits. Buffy’s mother – Joyce, helped her out as much as she could, and about a year later when Buffy was ready to try to find a job, her mother helped her getting Hannah into nursery school. Hannah loved every minute of it, and Buffy and her daughter were finally able to move out of her mother’s house and buy a small house of their own. The years went by, and life went pretty well.
About the same time as Hannah was starting school, Joyce met a new man – Ted. Buffy hated him from day one, realizing that the feeling was more than mutual, and begged her mother to stop seeing him. Joyce refused, claiming that Ted made her happy, and Buffy had no choice but to accept it. Not happy about it, she started to avoid going to her mother’s house, although she still visited her with Hannah every once in a while, but only after she’d made sure that Ted wasn’t going to be there.
Hannah was really looking forward to starting school; she’d been talking about it for weeks. She was a very bright girl, and Buffy had no doubts that the girl would do really well. The first day in school they ran into Cordelia and Liam, and their little daughter – Kathy. Liam had simply ignored her, and Cordelia had made some snarky remarks. After that, nothing happened for about a week, then one day Hannah came home and asked Buffy if Kathy’s father was actually her real father as well. Buffy had answered as sincerely as she could, furious at Liam and Cordelia.
Little Kathy had made a big show of telling the other kids in school that Hannah didn’t have a father, that he hadn’t wanted her and her mother because they were a bunch of losers. All the other kids had laughed, and since that day Hannah had been teased and picked on constantly. It was no surprise that the little girl soon came to hate school. And that just broke Buffy’s heart, seeing her daughter suffer every day and not being able to do anything about it. She’d tried talking to the teachers, to the other parents, even to Liam and Cordelia once, but nothing helped. Because sometimes, kids were just cruel.
But now when she was siting here on the blanket, finishing telling Spike all about her past, she was scared. She was not a bad person, she’d just made a bad decision once, and it had resulted in the true miracle that was her daughter. But would Spike see it that way? Would he be able to look at her from now on, and not only see a selfish woman who had once betrayed her best friend? Or would he decide that he didn’t want anything to do with her, and leave her? She took a deep breath, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall, and spoke; “Well? What do you have to say about all of this?”
TBC
Saving You by Pet
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Again, I wasn't going to update until tomorrow, but then I just finished writing chapter 23, and well... here you go, enjoy! :)