Having spent the last hour just driving around, Buffy finally found herself being back outside Spike’s apartment. She had called Willow back and asked if she could watch Hannah for a few more hours, and thankfully, Willow didn’t mind at all. This was their first fight, and now she felt horrible. Still, a part of her was upset with Spike for throwing her out, he could at least have let her apologize. Now she wasn’t sure of what to do, should she knock on the door and demand for him to let her back inside, or should she just give up and go home? After all, he had told her to leave; he’d made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to talk to her right now. But yet, she remained where she was.
Buffy had been so happy this morning, and now she just felt like crying. If only she hadn’t been so stupid, it was all her fault! What if this was it, what if everything was over now? The mere thought of not being with Spike anymore brought tears to her eyes, and she wiped them away, angry at herself for thinking like that. This wasn’t the end of the world; couples were fighting all the time, right? She just had to apologize, and everything would be okay. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her hand and knocked on the door. They would have to talk to each other sooner or later, anyway, and if Spike cared about her as much as she hoped he did, he would probably be just as miserable as she was right now.
When the door finally swung open, she didn’t give Spike a chance to say anything before she started babbling. “Okay, I know you’re mad at me, but I’m not leaving until you’ve given me a chance to explain.” He opened his mouth, then closed it again as she went on; “And if you’ll throw me out again, I’ll just sit down and wait right here outside your door, you’re gonna have to come out eventually.” She paused for a second, having to breathe. “And if you still won’t listen to me, and try to walk past me like I don’t exist, then I’ll just follow you around until you’ll talk to me, because…” She hesitated, swallowing. “Because I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. Please, let me in?”
Spike looked at her for a moment, before nodding. “All right.”
She stared at him in disbelief, having not expected to be invited back in that easily. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you said…”
Rolling his eyes, Spike took a step back, allowing her to enter. “Just come in before I change my mind. Have a feeling you won’t give up, anyway, might as well get it over with.”
“Get it over with?!” Buffy felt tears welling up in her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me, is that it? We have one little misunderstanding, and you’re just gonna give up on us? I thought you wanted to be with me and Hannah… Oh my God, Hannah, what am I gonna tell her, she’ll be crushed!” A sob escaped her throat, and she went on, desperate to keep the tears from falling; “It’s not fair; Hannah adores you and you made me fall in love with you and now you’re just gonna walk out of our lives! I can’t believe…”
“Whoa, what?!” Spike interrupted her ramblings, staring at her. “Hold on, what did you just say?”
Buffy looked at him in confusion for a moment, then sniffed. “I said you’re a dope. It’s totally unfair of you to…”
Spike shook his head. “That’s not what you said…” Then he frowned. “I’m a what?”
She glared at him. “A dope. And a bonehead. And…” Buffy stopped then, wiping her eyes. “Wait, this is not me apologizing now, is it?”
“Um, no, this is you insulting me.” Spike gave her a tired look. “Look, Buffy, you’ll have to stop doing this, otherwise, it will never work between us. I never said I was walking out of your life, or that I’m breaking up with you.” He sighed. “Just come in, will you? You wanted to talk, so let’s just do that. But I’m not having this conversation in the doorway.”
“Oh, okay.” Buffy looked down at her feet, feeling very stupid. She had done the exact same thing again; jumping to conclusions without even giving Spike a chance to explain. She inhaled shakily, and stepped inside. “I’m really sorry about what happened before.”
He gave her a small smile, closing the door behind her. "It's okay. Maybe I overreacted a bit, but...” She opened her mouth to object, but he held up his hand to stop her. “Just hear me out, all right?” She nodded, zipping her lips closed, before following him over to the couch. Suddenly seeing the half empty bottle of vodka on the table, her eyes widened and she stared at him, a disappointed look on her face.
Spike realized how it must look, and hurried to explain. “It’s not like you think.”
Buffy raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest, a sarcastic note in her voice; “Really? That’s not a bottle of vodka I’m seeing, then?”
He glared at her. “Do I seem drunk to you?”
Frowning, she eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then shook her head. “No. But…”
“That’s ‘cause I’m not.” He slumped back on the couch. “Thought about it, though, think I’ve been sitting here staring at the bloody bottle for almost an hour. But I didn’t open it.” Seeing that she was about to speak, he rolled his eyes and clarified; “Today. Have had it for a while. That’s how I used to deal with things, won’t do it anymore.” He sighed. “If you don’t believe me…”
“I do.” Buffy hurried to assure him, knowing that he was telling the truth; he wouldn’t lie to her. He looked relieved at her statement, and she smiled a little. “You were going to say something.”
“Right…” He hesitated for a second, not sure of how to begin. “I’ve had a really bad day today.”
Buffy leaned back on the couch with a grimace. “Join the club.”
His brow went up. “Yeah? You too?”
“Uh huh.” She nodded, then looked thoughtful. “You know what the good part is?” He shook his head. “This day sucked so badly, it can’t possibly get any worse.”
Spike chuckled. “Good point.” He paused, giving her a curious look. “I made you fall in love with me?!”
TBC
Saving You by Pet
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