Spike gave Buffy an apologetic, almost shy, look. “I admit, it’s not the most original idea, but…” He shrugged, suddenly looking nervous.
Buffy giggled. “Are you kidding, it’s great! The Sunnydale Zoo, I never would’ve guessed. It’s been years since we’ve been here, I forgot how much Hannah loved this place.” She looked at him, curiously. “How did you know?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know, it was just the way she was talking about all those animals last night. Figured she’d like it here.”
Realizing that he’d actually made an effort of taking them somewhere he knew Hannah would appreciate made Buffy feel deeply touched. She was beaming at him. “It’s perfect.” He looked relieved, and was just about to say something, when Hannah came running.
“Can we go see the elephants? And the lions? And the rhinos? And look! They have a carousel, with horses! Can I go ride it? Please!” The girl was jumping up and down, and Buffy couldn’t help but share her enthusiasm, realizing that the girl was even more excited today than she’d been last night.
“Of course, honey. We’ll be waiting right here.” Hannah’s smile was so wide, Buffy almost thought it would split her face in two. The girl let out a squeal and took off, heading for the carousel.
Buffy laughed, softly. “You should’ve seen her when I told her she didn’t have to go to school today. She was so happy, I thought she’d fly through the roof.”
“She doesn’t like school very much, does she?” Spike watched Hannah on the carousel before turning to Buffy.
“No, she likes it a lot. When the other kids leave her alone, that is.” Buffy sighed, suddenly looking tired.
Spike nodded in understanding. “What’s that all about then? Why are the kids picking on her?”
“Most of the times they don’t even need a reason. She’s nice and quiet and shy, never talks back. A perfect victim for bullies.” Buffy rolled her eyes, then took a deep breath. “When they do need a reason, they pick on her because of her father.”
Spike looked surprised. Then he seemed to recall something. “First time I met her, she said she didn’t have parents, just her mummy.”
“Yeah, well…” Buffy hesitated, not sure if this was the right time, or place for that matter, to be having this particular conversation.
He noticed her discomfort. “Sorry, that’s none of my business, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I don’t mind talking about it, it’s just…” Buffy hesitated again. “It’s kind of a long story, and I don’t wanna ruin this nice day by talking about things that are… less nice. Like Hannah’s father.”
“I understand.” Spike was dying to know all about the wanker, but didn’t want to push the matter.
Buffy glanced at the carousel to make sure her daughter was still there and not on her way back. She was. “Hannah’s father, Liam, never wanted to be a father in the first place. He made it perfectly clear from the beginning that he wouldn’t be there for me if I decided to keep the baby. He actually suggested that I…” She swallowed. “That I’d have an abortion. He even offered to pay for it, that bastard. I guess money’s never been an issue when it’s something he really wants. Of course I refused, I would never do something that horrible.”
“Appointment for what? What are you talking about?”
“For having the abortion, of course. Drusilla wasn’t going to keep the child, Mr Pratt. Surely, you knew about that?”
Spike shook his head as if to clear it, having heard the doctor’s voice so clearly as if he’d been back at the clinic, reliving that moment all over again. Suddenly he felt like he was going to be sick.
“Spike, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Buffy gave him a worried look.
He gave her a smile that he hoped would be convincing, forcing the bad memories to the back of his mind. “Nothing’s wrong. Really.“ Buffy didn’t look convinced. “Look, Hannah’s probably done riding the carousel, we should go check on her.” He started walking, and Buffy followed, still with a frown on her face.
“And the monkeys were so cute, and did you see the zebras?!” Hannah stopped talking for a second, needing to breathe, then went on; “I really liked the rhinos, did you see that they had babies? Oh look, the snake-house!” She gave her mother a pleading look, but Buffy shook her head firmly.
“Forget it, I’m not going in there.”
Hannah pouted, then looked at Spike, a hopeful look on her face. Of course, he wasn't able to resist that. “Right, let’s go.” He was rewarded with a huge smile as Hannah grabbed his hand and started pulling him in the direction of the snake-house.
Buffy smiled to herself, siting down on a nearby bench to wait for Spike and Hannah to return. She couldn’t believe how quickly the day had passed, they had been at the zoo for almost six hours. Hannah had enjoyed every minute of it, and to tell the truth, so had she. Except for that one awkward moment back at the carousel, everything had been perfect. Hannah had been looking at the different animals for hours, giving Buffy and Spike plenty of time to talk and get to know each other, and Buffy realized that the more she got to know him, the more she liked him. And it seemed like the feeling was mutual.
They hadn’t talked more about Hannah’s father, nor had he explained what it was that had upset him earlier, he could deny it all he wanted, but Buffy knew he’d been lying when he’d said that nothing was wrong. She wanted to know what it had been about, but wasn’t going to push, he’d tell her if he wanted to. This man fascinated her in a way she couldn’t quite put her finger on, not to mention that he made her feel things she’d feared she’d never feel again. But she realized that it took more than just a day to get to know someone, she needed to be patient.
She was also amazed at how good he was with Hannah, and that was important. She could never be with a man who couldn’t accept the fact that Hannah was the most important person in her life. Spike not only seemed to understand that, but he also seemed to really care about her daughter. And it was obvious that Hannah already adored him. There was just one thing that worried her. What if things wouldn’t work out, what if Spike would realize that the whole family thing wasn’t for him after all, and walk out of their lives? Hannah would be crushed.
And truth to be told, so would she. She had only known Spike for a couple of days, and she already had a hard time imagining her life without him in it. It wasn’t like her to fall for a man so soon, and so deep. Maybe she’d be better off if she’d try to put up some distance between them. But for some reason, she had a feeling that it was already too late for that, she wouldn’t be able to stay away from him, even if she tried. And maybe that was for the best, anyway. Because she had a feeling, deep inside, that Spike was there to stay.
TBC