“What do you mean, niblet?” The girl looked at him then, giving him a look as if to say ‘don’t be stupid, you know exactly what I mean’. Yeah, he thought, she’s a smart kid, alright. Almost too smart. He sighed. “Yes, of course I like your mum.”
Hannah nodded, a thoughtful look on her face. “Are you and mommy going to get married?”
Spike stared at the girl in shock. “What?!” He cringed at the shrill sound of his voice, and cleared his throat. “What in the world gave you that idea?”
Shrugging, Hannah once again seemed to be taking a huge interest in the animals in the cage in front of her. For some reason, she didn’t seem to want to look at him. “I don’t know. Mommy likes you very much, and you like her. And you don’t have any kids, and I don’t have a daddy. If you and mommy get married, you can be my new daddy.”
Swallowing, Spike realized that the girl was dead-serious, and he had no idea what to tell her. Something about Hannah’s words made him feel strangely warm inside, but, at the same time, it scared the hell out of him. He most certainly did not want to have this conversation, he would just screw things up, big time. Where the bloody hell was Buffy when he needed her, she was the one who was supposed to talk to her daughter about these things, not him! He realized that he was panicking, and had to roll his eyes at himself.
The girl had yet to look at him, and he knew that she waited for his reaction, not to mention an answer. He took a deep breath. “Hannah, you know I can’t just…” He hesitated. “For two people to get married…” He stopped again, unsure of how to go on.
Hannah finally turned around, and it almost broke his heart to see the tears in her eyes. “You don’t want to be my daddy, do you?”
Spike closed his eyes for a moment, feeling awful for being the one to put that miserable look on the girl’s face. “Hannah…”
“That’s okay.” Hannah blinked away the tears, desperately trying to stop her bottom lip from trembling. “My real dad didn’t want me either. He has a new family now.”
Kneeling next to her on the floor and taking her tiny hands in his, Spike looked the girl right in the eyes, a serious expression on his face. ”Listen to me, bit. This has nothing to do with you. I like you very much, and that’s not going to change. But I don’t have to be married to your mother for us to spend time together, like we do right now. I’m your friend, okay? I always will be. And I hope your mum will let me be her friend as well. But we can’t just get married, you’ll have to be in love for that.”
Hannah wiped at her eyes, giving him a confused look. “Don’t you love mommy?”
He smiled a little. “I don’t know your mum all that well yet, sweetheart. I like her, but falling in love takes time. And it’s complicated, there are a lot of things that have to be… I don’t know, right.”
She still looked confused. “But how do you know when you love someone?”
“I don’t know. You just… feel it, I guess.” Spike sighed, not sure if that’s what she wanted to hear. But, thankfully, Hannah seemed to be satisfied with that answer.
“Okay. But can you and mommy at least try to love each other?”
He couldn’t help but chuckle. The girl was persistent, alright. “I tell you what. I’ll ask your mum if she wants to have dinner with me some time, just the two of us. Then we can get to know each other a little better, but I’m not going to promise anything more than that. You understand?”
The girl was beaming at him, tears forgotten. “That would be so great, you and mommy are going on a date!” Then she seemed to remember something. “You’ll have to kiss her, you know, people always kiss each other when they’re on dates.”
Spike’s smile disappeared. “You’re not suppose to know what people do when they’re on dates, you’re way too young for that!” Hannah just smiled, and he rolled his eyes. “And I haven’t even asked her out yet, for all I know, she might turn me down.”
Hannah gave him a bright smile, not a least bit worried about that. “Trust me, she won’t!”
Buffy got up from the bench when she saw Spike and Hannah leaving the snake-house, making her way towards them. She smiled at her daughter when the girl spotted her. “So, how did you like the snakes?”
“They were cool.” Hannah seemed to be thinking hard about something, then her face lit up. “I wanna go look at the penguins! They’re right over there…” She pointed to a large cage behind them. “…so I can go by myself. You two can stay right here.” She ignored the suspicious look Spike threw in her direction, looking at her mother and adding, with a pleading note in her voice; “Please, mommy?”
Buffy was oblivious of Hannah’s eagerness to get her mother and Spike alone together. “Sure, sweetie. Just don’t go too far, just to the penguins, alright?” Hannah nodded, a serious look on her face. “Okay, Spike and I will be waiting over here.”
Hannah smiled at Spike, clearly pleased with herself. “Now you can ask her!” Then she turned around and rushed off, heading towards the penguins.
Buffy stared after the girl, then turned to Spike with a look of confusion on her face. “Ask me what? What’s going on?” Spike silently cursed Hannah’s ‘helpfulness’, glaring after her. This was definitely not how he’d planned on doing this. “Spike?” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to explain.
“Well…” Spike hesitated, not sure of what to say. Suddenly he was beyond embarrassed. Oh bollocks!
TBC