Spike leaned against the doorway and watched Dawn sulk at the table. He couldn’t believe what she had done tonight. Running around with boys. Vampire boys no less. Hadn’t she any common sense? He could have lost her tonight and he knew if something happened to Dawn, Buffy would freak. She would definitely go over the deep end if something happened to her sister. When her friend’s mom had called asking if she could talk to Janice, both Buffy and Spike had realized that a fast one had been pulled on them.
Both vampire and slayer had gone out to look for the girls and Spike couldn’t tell what kind of mood Buffy was in. He tried to read her thoughts but it hadn’t worked. She had driven him crazy and while they were out looking for Dawn he had to grab Buffy’s arm and make her stop for a moment and get herself under control. If she didn’t at least slow down and let him pick up Dawn’s scent, they would get no where.
He had moved back into Buffy’s house, after giving it a day of thought. It was a little strange at first, moving back into Joyce’s old room, and it took a day or so to back into the groove. He loved his girls and loved being with them so it wasn’t as hard as he thought. It was a little difficult saying goodnight to Buffy every night and going to separate rooms, but he knew that they couldn’t rush into anything. He wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Some days were harder then others with her. Some days she was in a good mood and she was nice, other days it seemed like she was going to rip his head off.
Much to his dismay her friends had started to come around again and it kinda felt like she was avoiding him when they were around. She was tense and edgy after they left. She didn’t really like them at her house; she had already told him that. But that didn’t explain why she was edgy around him. He tried to show her some affection in front of her friends and she had brushed him off subtly. He couldn’t figure out why she let him into her bed and kissed him, and move back in only to ignore him when her so called friends were around. He hadn’t quite had a chance to talk to her about it yet, but he was sure there was an explanation for it.
On top of that, Dawn was acting up for whatever reason. He stared at her bowed head with an unreadable expression. She picked her head up but she couldn’t meet his eyes. He looked up as Giles approached her but Spike reached out to grab his arm. “I’ll handle it,” he said, softly.
Giles raised an eyebrow. “I think I can handle a teenager Spike,” he said, with a raised eyebrow.
Spike folded his arms as he saw Buffy come out of the kitchen out of the corner of his eye. “Rupes, we appreciate you being here and all, but we’re her family and we can talk her about this,” he said. The watcher didn’t need to scold the slayer’s sister. That didn’t make any sense. Dawn would really feel like a little girl if they did that.
Buffy stepped up and took Giles to the living room and left Spike with Dawn. “Lil Bit,” he said, going to kneel in front of her. Might as well start simple. He knew she had to have a reason for going out and lying about it. And if something was wrong then she had to tell someone. He would love it if she told him what was wrong so he could help her like he used to. But he wasn’t sure that that was going to happen this time.
“I’m sorry,” Dawn said, softly. He knew she knew she was in trouble. She had scared Spike many times over the summer and freaked him out and she knew what it did to him. He didn’t usually yell at her or anything. Usually he just hugged her tight and told her he couldn’t live with himself if something happened to her. And he wouldn’t take her out for a day or so. But now it would be a lot different.
Spike’s eyes softened and he pushed her hair back. “I know it’s hard, but it’ll get better.” He was taking a shot in the dark at this point. He was guessing that she was still adjusting to everything that was happening. But he didn’t know for sure. He just wanted her to know that he was there for her. He would always be there with her.
“How do you know?” Dawn asked, finally looking into his eyes. “Buffy’s here and I knew Buffy was mad. And she hasn’t really looked at me since we’ve gotten home.”
“I love you and your sister, remember?” Spike said, with a smile. He needed to have some kind of hope. “If you wanna talk about something, you know I’ll be here. I’m always here now. I would never want anything to happen to you. And Buffy’s here too now. You can talk to her.”
“I know,” she said. “I just… nothing’s like I thought it would be. Buffy’s different, her friends aren’t really here anymore. You keep moving out then coming back.” She shrugged and looked at her hands in her lap. “I just wanted to do something fun for once. Something that’s not depressing.”
“Sneaking out with your friends, lying, and nearly getting yourselves killed doesn’t qualify as fun,” Spike said. “We can talk about this more in the morning. Go up and get some sleep.” He got to his feet and looked down at her with calm eyes. Tonight was not the night to talk about it. He could tell. She needed some sleep and he needed to talk to Buffy. It would be best just to let it rest for now.
Dawn stood up also and she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Love you,” she whispered. She hugged him tightly and sighed.
Spike smiled and kissed her forehead. “Good night Nibblet,” he said, as she released him and headed toward the stairs. “Oh and Nibblet?” he asked, looking up at her from the foot of the stairs.
Dawn turned, half way up the stairs. “Yeah?”
“You’re grounded,” he said. He had to give her some kind of punishment right now. Grounding was the best thing he could think of at this point. It really wasn’t like he could ask help from Buffy. She wouldn’t know either. At least if Dawn was grounded she wouldn’t be going anywhere and she would probably get the message that it wasn’t a good idea to sneak around.
Dawn’s eyes widened. “Spike,” she whined. “I’m gonna lose all her friends, and I’ll be… so unpopular. No one gets grounded anymore.”
“For a week,” Spike said, as Buffy came over to stand next to him. He hoped she hadn’t decided to insert herself into the conversation. Or a conversation that was over. “You’ll live. It won’t be the end of the world. You already know what that’s like. So count you’re lucky stars.”
“What’s going on?” Buffy asked. “What did I miss?”
“She’s grounded for a week,” he said, glancing at his slayer. She looked tired, drained, like she needed to sleep for a long time. He would do anything to help her but he couldn’t help her if she didn’t tell him what was wrong. He seemed to have the problem with both the girls. They didn’t tell him a bloody thing, just kept him in the dark. How was he supposed to help them if they didn’t talk to him?
“You can’t ground her,” Buffy said, crossing her arms.
“Yes he can,” Dawn said, miserably. She raised an eyebrow at Buffy. “It’s not like you’re gunna give me anything better.”
Spike smiled. “Bed,” he said.
Dawn grumbled but she went upstairs without saying much else other then a goodnight. It was easier this way.
Buffy looked at Spike. “I’m confused,” she said. “I wanted to talk to her.”
“Is she allowed to go to the park in the woods with a boy she just met and was a vampire?” Spike asked. He cocked his head as he looked at her. He felt like he was in trouble, maybe he just should have gone upstairs as well and went to bed. Let Buffy cool off. He didn’t want to be on the other end of her wrath either.
“No but…” Buffy began. “I still wanted to talk to her. I can’t have you taking care of everything like you’re the only one in charge. It’s not fair.”
“No buts. She’s grounded and she lied to us,” he said. “I don’t mind Buffy.”
“But I wanted to talk to her, Spike” she said.
“You can,” he said. “She needs us both to talk to her. But tonight it was better that she just went to sleep. What is the big deal?” He folded his arms as he glared at her. What was her problem? Did he really even want the answer to that question?
“I should have talked to her,” she said. “I’m her sister.”
“Why does it matter who talked to her?” He grumbled. It wasn’t like he was incompetent with her. He knew what he was doing with her. He had done it enough times… sort of. Dawn had never really been in trouble over the summer, but Spike knew what she needed when she messed up.
(Buffy’s POV)
Buffy ignored his question and climbed the stairs to Dawn’s room. “Dawn?” She knocked on the door. She cursed herself for sounding like a bitch towards Spike. But she didn’t think Spike should be the one to punish her sister. It didn’t seem right. She wanted to talk to Dawn and make sure Dawn understood that what she did was dangerous. She couldn’t risk anything happening to Dawn. She had enough to worry about with her life. She didn’t need Dawn acting like a totally klepto on her.
Giles had given her every excuse in the book to stay, but there was no reason to. Giles wasn’t Dawn’s mother or father, and frankly neither was she or Spike, but Spike was right. They were her family and she needed them right now, not someone sticking their nose in her business.
“Go away,” Dawn said.
“We need to talk,” Buffy said, crossing her arms. She wasn’t going to let Dawn just push her away. She was going to talk to her, no matter what. It wasn’t right that she didn’t get a say in what happened tonight.
Dawn opened the door. “Spike already grounded me. That’s enough punishment,” she said.
“Dawn, what were you thinking?” Buffy asked, pushing past her. “You could have been killed, or worse. Is that what you’re trying to do?”
“I wanted to have fun for once,” Dawn said. “You’re always with Spike on patrol and I’m never allowed to go. I used to go with him all the time and he trained me really well. And then you guys are always going back and forth with each other, and I was getting tired of it. I feel like I’m being abandoned,” Dawn whispered. “That’s all your fault you know.”
“How?” Buffy asked. This wasn’t supposed to be about her. Now she was on the defensive about her how she treated Spike. And Spike took Dawn patrolling? How could he do that?
“Because you don’t approve of him or something. Like he’s not welcome. He took care of me all summer and you drove him away. Buffy, I love him and he loves us. He practically lived here and he was really upset when he lost you. I almost lost him because he was so devastated. You’re going through a tough time and I get that, but Spike can help you through it,” Dawn said. “I thought he was helping you. Then he keeps leaving, and he keeps coming back, and now you guys are fighting again.”
“Dawn, he’s a soulless vampire,” Buffy said. Fuck. She didn’t mean to say that. Not like it came out.
Tears filled Dawns eyes. “How can you say that?” She whispered in a horrified voice. She took a step back from her sister, as if she had been slapped.
“Cause it’s true,” Buffy said, softly. She looked startled as Dawn turned and ran from her room. Great.
(Spike POV)
Spike looked up when his door opened. “Nibblet, what happened?” He asked when he saw her crying. Apparently Buffy’s talk with her hadn’t gone that well. She climbed into his bed and curled up against his side. But she didn’t say anything. Spike wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “What are you doing up and about?”
Buffy appeared in the doorway and leaned against the doorjamb. “Dawn.”
Well this wasn’t going to go well, and Spike could feel the tension rise in the room. The girls had obviously had a fight and now he was stuck in the middle. Dawn was angry and Buffy had that look in her eyes, a blank look. It bothered him a little.
Dawn glared at Buffy. “Tell him what you said,” she said, coldly, leaning against Spike with a sniffle.
Spike shifted in the bed and pulled Dawn closer to him. “Nibblet, calm down,” he said, softly. “What’s going on?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It seemed like a sister thing that he should stay out of, but he wasn’t sure if he could help it.
Buffy crossed her arms. “Dawn, go to your room.”
“Why so you can repeat everything you said to me? How he’s a soulless vampire who’s done nothing but love us and take care of us,” she yelled, tears in her eyes. “Take care of you?!”
Spike looked up at Buffy with hurt eyes. “Nibblet go get some sleep,” he said. This wasn’t about Dawn and Buffy, it was about him and Buffy. Buffy apparently had issues with him that she still couldn’t work though. He thought everything was going to be alright with them. He shook his head as Dawn opened her mouth to object and she got up without question. Spike looked at Buffy as Dawn went back to her room. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say after what he had just heard?
“Spike, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that I’m just so lost and confused right now,” she said taking a step toward him.
“But saying it to Dawn and upsetting her is not a smart idea,” Spike replied. He and Dawn had a really close friendship and they were both protective of the other.
“How do you know?”
“’Cause I’m the one that’s closest to her, even now that you’re back,” Spike grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Getting her upset is gunna lead to a huge fight.”
“Spike, she’s my sister. I know how to handle her.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you do. Did she tell you what happened when you were gone? She’s not your baby sister who needs to be protected from a hell god. Not anymore. She’s a grown woman and she can take care of herself,” he said, standing up. He did not want to fight with Buffy. He hated fighting with her and it seemed like she had a lot of anger building up inside of her that she had to let out.
“And you would know all about that wouldn’t you?” Buffy asked, angrily.
“Yeah, I would,” Spike said, holding his ground as he stared down at her. “You asked me to take care of her and I did! I did what you asked and just because I got close to her and formed a bond with her that you can’t break, that does not mean that you get to ruin that.” Why she would want to, he had no idea. He thought she was okay with him being in both her life and Dawn’s life, but he must have been wrong.
“You let her patrol?” She asked. “How could you do that? She’s not a slayer!”
“Yeah so? It’s not like I ever let her go alone,” Spike muttered. He was digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole. That’s just what he needed. “She’s not a baby. Buffy, you told me to take care of her and I did. I have a connection with her and I love her. I would never put her in danger.”
“Neither would I,” Buffy said. “Spike, I know you took care of her while I was gone but you don’t have to anymore.”
“I know I don’t have to. Buffy, you may not realize it but everyone else does. I’m a part of Dawn’s life and she needs me,” Spike said. “What the hell did you have me move back in for?” He knew this was a bad idea, having him back into her house, and he knew that she had been right the whole time.
“You told me you practically lived here, but you failed to mention that you almost killed yourself cuz you were so upset when I died. Dawn thinks I caused you to abandon her and I’m driving you away,” she said. “When you’re the one that keeps leaving and I missed you. I like having you here. That’s why I asked you to move back in.”
“I’m not abandoning her and I never left because of you,” Spike said, softly. “And I sat next to your grave the day of the funeral. Dawn had to drag me home because I didn’t wanna leave you by yourself. But I got better, and I tried to get over what happened, but I didn’t. And I got close to Dawn because of that and I haven’t let anyone destroy that.”
Buffy backed off a little bit. “I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said.
“How did you think I felt?” Spike asked. Had she totally lost her mind? What did she think it had been like for him? He had been devastated and Dawn had been the only able to help him through his grief.
“I don’t know,” she said, going to sit on the bed. “I missed you while I was gone but I didn’t think things were gunna be the same. Nothing is the same and it’s got me all confused.”
Spike crossed his arms and glared down at her. “Then I didn’t do anything to make you think that I’m still a soulless vampire?” He couldn’t figure out why she would say that. What had he done that was so bad that she could change her mind so quickly about him?
“Spike, you are,” Buffy said.
Spike rolled his eyes and he moved away from her. “I’m going out,” he said. He had to get away from her. He felt like his heart was falling out of his chest into a million little pieces and all he wanted to do was greet the sunshine.
“Spike?” Buffy asked, but he ignored her and left.
Buffy stood up and went to bed with tears in her eyes. He didn’t even let her finish. At least he didn’t say he was moving out. She crawled into bed and tried to sleep, knowing she wouldn’t be able to.
***
The next morning, Buffy grimaced as bright sunshine flowed across her bad and her face. She stretched and rubbed her swollen eyes. She didn’t think she would be able to fall asleep but she felt like it was only for an hour or so. She made her way to Spike’s room, hoping he had come home and they could talk. She knocked on the door and waited. “Spike?” She called.
Spike opened the door and crossed his arms. “What?” He asked, softly. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all, and she couldn’t blame him. She didn’t really sleep either. His eyes were bloodshot and he was heartbroken. She wanted to reach out and touch him, and tell him she was sorry and she wanted to make it up to him.
“I wanted to apologize for last night,” Buffy said, wringing her hands. “You left and I wasn’t finished. Because the way I said it, made Dawn take it the wrong way. I’m sorry, I just didn’t think about what I was saying.” She folded her arms, trying to make him understand.
“I don’t need to hear the rest,” Spike said, going to sit on the bed.
“But I’m right. You didn’t get a soul unless you just felt like not telling me,” she said. He just had to make this very difficult. She didn’t mean for anything to come out like that. But leave it up to Dawn and Spike to gang up on her and make her like the bad guy.
“I didn’t go get a soul,” he said. “So what? Doesn’t change the way I feel.”
“I never said you didn’t feel. I know you can love,” she whispered. She took a step toward him, trying to come up with another plan to make him understand where she was coming from. She wasn’t good with the words, so she was pretty sure that she was going to have to use actions instead because he wasn’t getting her message.
“You’re being technical, Buffy,” he said. “I’ve done everything for you and I don’t understand how you can still treat me like this. You have to know how much I'm trying to get your approval of me, and I thought I already had it, but I guess you'll never see me as more then a monster."
She growled and pushed him back onto the mattress. Climbing onto his solid body, she kissed him softly. Her hands tangled in his hair and she rubbed her whole body against his. She gently licked his lips and groaned when he opened his mouth under hers. She felt his hands fist in her golden locks as his body relaxed underneath her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that because I didn’t mean it in the way that you and Dawn made it sound. Please, I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“I’m not. I’m just confused,” he said, panting unnecessarily. “Esepcially after that.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, burying her face in his neck as a blush crept up her neck and cheeks. That was a bold move on her part. She nibbled softly over the soft skin where his pulse should be. “Please, I need you. And I had to get your attention. Guess it worked.” His body was tense with desire beneath her soft curves.
Spike wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “It did at that,” he said, kissing her hair. “God I love you.”
Lifting her head, she kissed him again. “I know you do,” she said. “Please forgive me? Or should I make it up to you some more?” Her body was buzzing with desire and she felt like she should still be kissing him, but she didn’t want to rush. But god, he was such a good kisser. She had no idea that kisses could turn her on like that.
“Don’t have much choice after that,” he said with a smirk as he rolled them over, kissing her hungrily. “But I could use some convincing.”
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