Spike bust through the door of the magic shop, smoking under his blanket. When he put the few flames out he glanced around the room and everyone was looking at him funny. They obviously didn’t expect him to be here. Even after Buffy had told her friends where she had been and that she wanted to be with him, they still seemed unwilling to accept her choice. Spike had honestly thought they would show up at the house, trying to stake him in his sleep but they hadn’t. He was surprised that her friends had lasted two days without making her life miserable.
“What are you doing here Spike?” Xander asked.
“Buffy asked me to be here,” Spike answered, walking down the stairs. He wanted to make a retort but he figured that Buffy wouldn’t appreciate that. His eyes darted around looking for his girl, but she was no where to be seen. He was about to ask where she was when the door of the training room opened. Her scent assaulted his senses and he made his way toward her. However, he didn’t expect her to rush to his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. “You okay, Pet?” He asked. He knew she wasn’t, but he wanted to want to tell him. Not demand it from her. He glanced around and noticed that Giles had come out of the training room as well. So he was responsible.
“Giles is leaving. He’s moving back to England,” Buffy whimpered against his neck.
Spike could have ripped the watcher apart. That was the last thing Buffy needed right now. She was in a very delicate state of mind, and even Spike had some difficulty dealing with her, but he loved her. Unconditionally. Leaving her was not an option. It shouldn’t be an option for anyone. Spike knew that not having Giles could be very devastating for Buffy.
Giles came out of the training room and frowned at Buffy in Spike’s arms. “Buffy you have to see that this for the best,” he said.
Buffy turned to face Giles. “Abandoning me?!” She flared. “How is that for the best?”
Spike rested his hands on her shoulders. “Pet calm down and let’s discuss this,” he said. He didn’t want her to get worked up until they could sit down and talk about what happened. He wanted to make Giles understand that Buffy needed him here. No matter what the watcher thought was best.
“How can you say that?” Buffy asked, glaring at him.
“You’re upset and not thinking rationally,” Spike said, softly. This wasn’t going to end well. He knew Buffy was upset and she was going to lash out. And it looked like she was going to lash out at him. This was going to put a damper on the relationship he was trying so hard to make work with her.
“Why are you taking his side?” She flared, moving away from him. “After what happened? I trusted you.”
“I know you did and I’m not taking anyone’s side.” The look in her eyes was enough to break his heart. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, and she thought that’s what he was trying to do. Like he said, this thing with Buffy required a lot of patience on his part. This would be so much easier if they were alone though. He wasn’t sure displaying massive amounts of affection in front of her friends would benefit him.
“You’re supposed to be on my side. God you’re just like the rest,” she snapped.
Spike backed off with hurt in his eyes. If that’s how she really felt what in the world was he even doing here then? He wanted to think that she was just really upset and didn’t mean what she said, but this was what he was afraid of. He was afraid that she would one day realize that he wasn’t what she wanted and leave him. But he never wanted to b compared to everyone else that had ever left her.
Buffy sighed and took a step toward him. “Spike, I’m sorry,” she whispered, reaching out to grab his hand. “I didn’t mean that.”
He sighed and tugged her closer to him, trying to comfort her as much as himself as he could. He thought he was best that they leave, but the watcher had other ideas.
“Buffy,” Giles interrupted. “Perhaps we should talk about this.”
“And say what Giles?” Buff asked, turning around with tears in her eyes.
At that moment, Tara and Buffy fainted. Spike barely caught Buffy as she collapsed. What the hell? He carefully lowered her to the floor as everyone else went crazy. He didn’t bother to look at anyone else as he ran his hands over Buffy making sure she wasn’t hurt. He checked her head, which didn’t have any lumps or bumps, so there was no obvious reason for her to faint. Dawn appeared by his side and he glanced up at her. “I think she’s alright,” he said. “She just passed out.” He was about to ask Willow about Tara when Buffy stirred. “Buffy?”
Her eyes fluttered open and her green eyes clashed with his blue ones. But they were different. She was confused and open. “Who are you?” She asked, looking at Spike as he helped her into a sitting position.
“You don’t know me?” Spike asked, confused, looking at everyone else then back at Buffy. Great. She had no memory. Now what? And the way she was looking at him, like she was going to jump his bones the first chance he got. He knew Buffy was attracted to him, but now it was clear. She had the hots for him and was a little shy about it.
Buffy shook her head. “No, but you’re cute,” she said then she blushed. “Sorry.”
She was so cute when she blushed. But she wasn’t wrong. “Handsome is more like it, Luv,” he said, with a smirk. “Think you can stand?” He wanted to tell her straight off the bat that he was her boyfriend but he knew her friends would start trying to convince her that he was a liar and everything would be ruined. It was best just to help her through this and try to figure out who would do this.
Buffy nodded and as Spike was helping her to her feet, Tara stirred. “What happened?” Tara asked, groggily as she rubbed her head.
“Tara?” Willow asked carefully.
“Yeah?” Tara asked, looking at Willow.
“You remember us?” Xander asked as he took a step toward the fallen witch. Spike watched as Xander helped her to her feet and he knew something wasn’t right. He could feel it in his bones.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Tara asked.
“Cuz Buffy doesn’t,” Dawn said, frantically. Spike glanced at her and wished he could do something to calm her down but he hadn’t the faintest idea. Buffy was clinging to his arm like a scared little girl. He liked that he could protect her, but on the other side, the one thing he liked about the regular Buffy was that she didn’t need help. She could take care of herself.
Tara looked at Buffy. “I feel powerful magic around her,” she said, then looked at Willow. “You did it anyway?”
“What do you mean?” Giles asked.
“Last night, I told Willow no more magic because she wanted me to forget we had a fight and she wanted Buffy to forget she was in heaven,” she said, accusingly.
“Rupert!” Spike yelled. He was not surprised to find that someone had done a powerful spell on his slayer, but he was surprised that Willow had done another spell to interfere in Buffy’s life. He shouldn’t have been surprised but he was. Enough was enough. He ignored the blonde that jumped next to him and address the older man. Older then her anyway. How could Willow be so selfish? Did she not care about anything? Did she not care that her friend was in pain?
“What?” Giles asked, a little shocked by the vampire’s outburst.
“Do something. Don’t you think it’s bad enough what she had to go through with being ripped out of heaven? Don’t you think this has gone on long enough? Shouldn’t they just leave her be to get over this in her own time?” he growled at Willow and Xander. Every freaking time he turned around they were doing another spell to try and fix Buffy’s life. They just couldn’t accept that Buffy was interested in him and wanted to be with him and they were willing to do anything to make sure that didn’t happen.
Buffy cowered towards Spike at his anger. “Please, stop yelling,” she whispered.
“Sorry, Pet,” he said, slipping his arms around her. He didn’t realize that he was scaring her and obviously not having her memories was making her weak. He hated seeing her like this. He was so used to seeing her strong and confident. He wanted to wring her friends’ necks but he knew when she did get her memories back she would be mad at him. Not to mention the severe head ache he would develop.
“I was just trying to help,” Willow said, softly. “She’s so different and everyone knows it, Spike. She should be coming to us for help. Not shacking up with you.” Spike growled as her dangerous eyes bored into his. He wasn’t afraid of her, magic or not. It wouldn’t take much for him to spread the word to the demon community about her and they would take her out. But she didn’t know that.
“I think you’ve done enough,” Giles said to Willow. He looked at Spike who had what look to be a very scared blonde girl cowering behind his muscular frame. “Spike, take Buffy to the training room. I don’t wanna scare her.”
Spike nodded and took Buffy’s hand. He wanted to stay and be a part of the fight that he knew was going to take place, but he knew it was better that he went with Buffy and kept her calm. There were going to many questions from the slayer and he just hoped he could answer them without scaring her. He was surprised when she followed him willingly and he kept his ears honed in on the shop as he closed the door behind him.
*~*~*
Giles waited ‘til the door closed before looking at Willow. “Willow, did you not learn anything?” He flared.
“I’m sorry,” Willow said, crossing her arms. “But you know that I’m right. It’s not natural for Spike to be living with her all the time. He’s effecting her judgement. How can you allow that.”
“Buffy and I both wanted Spike in the house, Willow,” Dawn said, softly. “We needed him. He helps out around the house while Buffy patrols. He takes care of me and he helps with the bills. Something that you weren’t doing and that’s why you aren’t there anymore.”
Willow glared at the younger Summers’ girl. “Buffy wasn’t up front with me about her money problems Dawn. I’m her best friend and she should have come to us for help. Not Spike.” She looked at Giles. “I think we should take care of him so things can start getting back to normal with Buffy.” She glanced at Xander. “Don’t you agree Xander?”
Xander bit his lip. “I’m the first one to say that I don’t like Spike and I think he should stay away from Buffy but I’m not sure how we’re going to do that. But I do think that since she’s been back, that something’s wrong and she should be talking to us and not letting Spike brain wash her. I think we should spend more time with her and help with whatever Spike is doing then she won’t need him.”
“Reverse it,” Giles commanded looking at Willow. “She needs her memories Willow. You can’t be playing God with her life. This could be dangerous. What if the end of the world was tomorrow? We wouldn’t have a slayer.”
Willow sighed and took out the crystal before dropping it on the floor. She crushed it under her foot. “I just wanted her to forget that she was in heaven then she wouldn’t be so depressed. Then maybe she would leave Spike alone.”
*~*~*
In the training room, Spike and Buffy had been sitting on the ratty old green couch but Buffy had been very quiet. Spike was unsure of what to say to her and when he was about to ask her if she was alright, she inhaled sharply and her breathing labored. “Pet?” He asked, resting a hand on her back. “What’s wrong?”
Buffy rubbed her face as she looked at him. “The spells broken,” she whispered. “Was like watching my life flash before my eyes. Not pleasant.”
He pulled her against him and kissed her hair. Remembering all the pain she went through, was no doubt hard on her. Especially after all she had done to try and forget and move on from those memories. “Anything I can do?” He asked, rubbing her arm.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry about earlier,” she whispered, nuzzling her head in the crook of his neck. “But you were right. I was just… I was upset.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Spike said, pushing her hair back so he could look in her eyes. “Red tried to make you forget that you were in heaven.” The last thing he wanted was for another fight or any more pain added to what she was going through, but he had never lied to her and he wasn’t about to start now. Not when she trusted him.
“What?” Buffy asked.
“Didn’t work right. You lost all your memories,” Spike said. His anger was starting to come back full force now that he didn’t have to worry about scaring her. He had a feeling that he would never be able to be with her without interference. Every time they made another step together, they had a road block because of her friends. There was so much he wanted to do with Buffy, so much he wanted to show her, and it was never good enough.
“I think its time to have a chat with my friends,” she said, standing and going to the front of the shop and she had a purpose.
Everyone looked at her as she came out with Spike. “Buffy?” Giles asked.
“Giles, can you please stay? Just a little bit longer. I can’t trust the rest of my friends,” Buffy said. She wouldn’t be able to handle her watcher leaving, Spike knew that. Esepcially after what had just happened, Rupert couldn’t possibly want to leave knowing that Willow was out of control with her magic.
Giles looked at her then at Spike who nodded. “Yeah, I’ll stay but you have to take charge of your own life,” he said.
Spike felt some relief spread through him. Rupert apparently didn’t talk to Buffy often or he would know that she was doing the best she could. It was too much for one girl to handle all by herself and it was going to take some time for Giles to understand that. But Spike was going anywhere and if anyone had a problem with that, then they had a problem.
“Oh, I am,” Buffy said, looking at her friends and Dawn. “Dawnie, please don’t think that this has anything to do with you. You didn’t do this to me. And you know that things have been better with Spike around. Regardless of whatever everyone else says”
Dawn nodded. “Are you okay?” She asked, taking a step toward her sister.
“Yeah. No thanks to the rest of you,” Buffy said, facing the 4 people who tore her out of heaven. Willow opened her mouth to spill some excuse but Buffy wouldn’t have any of it. “Save it,” Buffy growled. “I can’t believe you Willow. Haven’t you caused me enough pain?”
“I didn’t mean to cause you any pain,” Willow said. “I just wanted you to come to us for help instead of Spike.”
Spike couldn’t help but roll his eyes as Dawn nudged him in the stomach with her elbow. He knew he had her support, all the way. He could always count on Dawn to be on his side, which was definitely in his favor. Buffy liked that he was good with Dawn and he was close to her. She didn’t have to worry about Dawn because she knew that he would be taking care of her.
“But you did,” Buffy said. “You pulled me out of heaven and just expect me to get over it. This is who I am. Willow I am in so much pain that instead of taking it out on you, I’m taking it out on the people who weren’t involved. All they are trying to do I help and take care of me.”
“So are we,” Xander said coming to Willow’s defense.
“No, you’re trying to make me get over the fact that I was happy. The only reason you guys want me to get over it because you feel guilty. I understand you guys wanted me around and you didn’t know what I was going through. But Willow, you should’ve respected the laws of death. Not only that, you should have just let me be once you found out I was happy. You’re the one who is still trying to save me when I don’t need to be saved. I’m fine the way I am right now. It’s just taking some time.”
“And I told you last night not to do anymore magic, Willow,” Tara said, softly. “You promised me a week. You couldn’t… You tried to make me forget our fight but it didn’t work. And you tried to make Buffy forget that she was happy. Why do you keep manipulating people to fit your life?”
“Tara I’m sorry,” Willow said, going toward her girlfriend. “I just wanted things to go back to normal.”
“My God, Willow. Do you not see what you’re doing?” Tara asked. “I thought if I told you that you were using too much magic you’d stop.”
Buffy looked at Giles. “Giles, I don’t know what to do,” she said, truly lost. Spike rested a hand on her shoulder. He felt he had done her part and that Rupert should step up as well. Willow needed help and what Buffy and Tara were saying wasn’t sinking in at all.
“I think Dawn should go home,” Giles said.
“Can I take her?” Tara asked. “I need to get out of here.”
Dawn looked up at Spike and he nodded. He felt a little proud that she looked to him for permission. It was daylight out. There wasn’t much trouble she could get into with Tara. Dawn said goodbye to him and Buffy before leaving with Tara. “Why’d you want Nibblet to leave?”
Giles sighed and removed his glasses. “I don’t think its fair that we have a fight in front of her,” he said. “She doesn’t need to be exposed to this.”
Xander looked from Willow to Buffy. “Buff, I’m sorry,” he said taking a step toward her.
Spike really couldn’t care if Xander was sorry or not. Xander was the one person that Spike new would come between him and Buffy. He knew the boy had a thing for Buffy and would be jealous of anyone that tried to get close to her. Even when he had his own girl, she wasn’t Buffy. His hand tightened on Buffy’s shoulder, but not painfully. She knew his feelings about Xander.
“I know. You’re all sorry but that’s not gunna make it better. I’m not going to let anyone you mess around with my life,” Buffy said, softly. “Why would anyone think that I deserve an eternity in hell? What did I do that was so wrong?” she asked. “And Tara? You saw what Glory did to her! If you guys had a fight, you don’t try to make the other forget it, Willow. I fight with Spike all the time. I smack him and that’s the end of it.”
“Hey,” Spike said in protest. Not that it wasn’t true, but he didn’t want to be dragged into the middle of this. He had a reputation to protect and he didn’t like people saying that he got bested by a girl. It didn’t look good for his Big Bad image.
Buffy glanced up at him and smiled. “What? That’s what happens and you know it,” she said. “But I guess we don’t really fight that much anymore.”
“Buffy?” Willow cut in. “What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to stop using magic to change my life,” Buffy answered. “I kicked you out for a reason. Spike and I have something Willow and nothing you or anyone else do, is going to change that. I’m happy with him, doesn’t that count for something?” She didn’t wait for an answer as she looked at Giles. “I’m gunna head out. Tomorrow I’d like to talk to you about some stuff.”
Giles smiled a little. “I’ll come to your house,” he said.
Spike smiled as Buffy gave her watcher a hug. This was good. Buffy needed her watcher on her side, not on the other side of the world. His eyes followed her as she came up to him and took his head. “Come on. I don’t know the sewers and I’d rather you weren’t able to fit in an ash tray,” she said.
He squeezed her hand as they took the sewers back to her house. He tried to ignore the tingles on his own neck as the left the shop. Something told him that Willow hadn’t heard a word Buffy had said.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Tabula Rasa installment. Spell works on buffy but not tara. what happens when she gets her memories back?
Chapter End Notes:
more angst to come. promise.