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thanks to everyone who has reviewed...it's good to know that people like it....hope you all like this chapter...
Confessions

“What?!”

“He’s my son Buffy.”

“Yeah I got that. I just don’t understand. How could you have a son?”

“Well…about five years ago I had sex…”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean…why didn’t you say anything before?” Julie looked guilty.

“Because I thought you would react like this.”

“Wha…oh…I’m sorry. I’m not meaning to sound judgy. It’s just a bit of a shock and all.” How could she tell her the real reason she was so shocked was not because she had a son, but because the supposed father of her son was Angel. Of course she had expected to see him eventually, much as she expected that any day now she would come across Willow or Giles. But him showing up at her door…with a kid…that had not crossed her mind. She had a good reason to be as shocked as she seemed. But she could not possibly tell Julie this.

“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s just…before all of this I had this whole life. Lots of friends…that whole deal. But ever since I got pregnant with Vince it’s like nobody wanted to have anything to do with me. The only real friend I had was Juliet. Her and James stood beside me when no one else would. I had to stay with Jules for a while after my mom kicked me out. Said I ruined my life.”

“That’s awful.”

“She let me back in eventually. And don’t get me wrong, she loves Vince, but I can’t help but see disappointment every time she looks at me.”

“I guess that explains why she doesn’t want you to move to Hollywood.”

“Reason number one on a very long list.” Julie crossed her arms. “I love my son, but sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had never gotten pregnant. Is that horrible?”

“No. It’s human. We all think things like that sometimes, but that doesn’t make us terrible people.” Julie looked appreciative. Buffy wondered if now would be a good time to ask about Angel…or whatever his name was here. The other woman was watching the little boy sitting on the living room couch. Buffy noticed her smiling at him. She was 22 and had a child. That wasn’t so bad. And she seemed to be handling it well.

“So umm…what’s the deal with…?” Buffy tried to sound as natural as possible.

“David? Nothing really. We we’re together in high school. We broke up sophomore year…and it was a pretty clean break. He was graduating and going to college out of state so we figured it would just be easier that way. Everything was good. I got a new boyfriend. We got along great…until I caught him cheating on me.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah. I walked in on him having sex with this girl that supposed to be one of my best friends. David had come home for the summer and in my distress I went to his house. He was trying to comfort me and…one thing led to another.” Buffy was glad when she stopped. She didn’t really want to think about the two of them together. Even though David wasn’t Angel and Julie wasn’t Darla, it still bothered her a bit to think about the two of them being intimate.

“What did you do when you found out you were pregnant?”

“I freaked. For the longest time I didn’t tell anyone, but eventually I had to. I told Juliet first. She convinced me that I needed to tell David. I hated to you know. I didn’t want to ruin his life. He had just started college, and he had a new girlfriend. But I had to.”

“What did he say?”

“Not a lot actually. I don’t know…it was weird. He helped me and everything. Supported me when I needed it, but he didn’t seem to…really believe it. At least not until Vince was actually born. That seemed to make it real to him. He dropped out of school to get a job. We actually thought about getting married, but neither of us really wanted to make a commitment like that. At least not at that point in our lives. I was only 17. And he was just 20.”

“I understand.” Her mind took her to when she had been 19 and engaged to a certain vampire. Not that that really happened…

“So we decided that we would live together at least until he was old enough to be tossed back and forth.”

“I get that.”

“Yeah. It’s been rough, but we’ve made it through.”

“Well I’m glad.” Julie was quite for a moment, her eyes were once again focused on her son.

“It’s late. I should get him home and into bed.” Buffy nodded. Julie called the little boy who turned off the TV and came running. “Thanks for everything,” Julie said. “And again…I am so sorry about this.”

“It’s fine,” Buffy told with a hint of a smile. The other girl smiled in return before closing the door behind her.

Buffy stood there a moment still taking it all in. Julie and “David” aka Angel had a kid together. But they weren’t together. So that counted for something….right? Not that it mattered. It’s not like he would ever want to be with her. He probably thought she was insane by the way she was looking at him. She knew she should just let it go and forget about him, but there was something inside of her that just wouldn’t let her do that. Some small voice that reminded her of the dream she’d had about him. A voice that told her it wasn’t just a dream. But what could she do about it? Ask him? Buffy shook her head. Right now it was bed time. She would sort this all out later.

This world was getting crazier by the minute.

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James picked up the last of his things and shoved them in the back of his car.

“That was a good show.” He looked over his shoulder to see his fellow band mate Brian.

“I guess,” he said giving stuff a once over to make sure he had everything.

“What’s up with you man? You seem all down in dumps tonight.”

“I’m not down…I’m just…distracted.” He shut the trunk.

“By what? Trouble in paradise?” James made a face at that. Luckily he still had his back to his friend. Truth be told he wasn’t sure if he was having trouble or not.

“No. It’s just…all this college stuff. I’ve been thinking, and maybe it’s not for me. Maybe I’m meant to stay with this band thing forever.” He finally faced Brian.

“James…man…you know as well as I do that this ‘band thing’ is only temporary. Plus we can’t keep a lead guitarist. Every time I turn around they quit. First Steve, then Larry, and now Dylan. It’s just beginning to seem pointless. It’s fun and all but…it’s not a career.”

“I know.” James didn’t know if he should really tell Brian what was bothering him. Buffy. She’d been on his mind all night. He had been so happy to see her at Freddie’s, but then before he had a chance to talk to her she’d left with Nick.

“Don’t give up hope dude. It’ll work itself out.”

“Yeah. I hope so.” Brain patted him on the back before going back into the building. James leaned up against his car. Maybe Brian was right. Maybe this would all work itself out. He would realize that what he was doing was stupid and that he had absolutely no feelings for Buffy Summers. Maybe. He hoped. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Pardon me, but do you know where I can find a Mr. James Pratt?”

“That’s me. Who are you?”

“My name is Rupert Giles, and I need to have a word with you.”

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