Author's Chapter Notes:
just some much needed Spuffy action...
Fantasizing

Buffy wrapped her towel around herself and stepped into the cool air of the hallway. After what had happened earlier she had needed a bubble bath. They always gave her time to think, and she definitely needed to think. As she was approaching her room she was struck by a sense of dejavu.

“Hello goldilocks.”

“What are you doing here?” She didn’t turn around. Couldn’t look at him right now.

“I think you know why I’m here.” He moved closer, reached and grabbed her around the waist pressing himself into her back. She moved away from him before she had a chance to think about how good it felt.

“No.”

“No?” She turned around and looked at him.

“No.” He made a pouty face.

“But I came all this way…”

“And now you can turn around and go back.” She started to her bedroom when he caught up with her and turned her around.

“I know you don’t mean that.” His face was inches from hers and she was finding it difficult to respond.

“Y-yes I…I do.” Her words sounded weak even to her.

“No excuses pet. Red’s out tux shopping with nancy boy, and the nibblet went to Janice’s.”

’Damn. Stupid vampires and their stupid memories. Why oh why did she have to tell him that? Shit, he probably thought it was an invitation.’

“Maybe I’m just not in the mood.”

“Nose says different luv.” The first time he had ever said anything like that to her it had disgusted her, but now she was used to his crude comments.

“Okay. So maybe I want to, but that doesn’t mean I want to with you.” Lie.

He smirked that annoying little smirk that makes you want to punch him in the face. And she would have. Had she not been wearing a towel, and was she not afraid of getting blood on the carpet, she so would have. Unfortunately she was wearing a towel, which made this whole situation worse. That was just less fabric he would have to get through.

This would have been the perfect time to move away and lock herself in her room. Quite unfortunately her legs refused to move. Instead when he leaned in to kiss her she decided to simply give in. As soon as their lips touched Buffy felt as if a fire had been lit inside her and he was the only one who could put it out. She wrapped her arms around his neck as their passion intensified. He grabbed the small towel that she had around her body and pulled it loose. It fell to the floor, but she ceased to care. He pressed against her which caused all sorts of sensations in both of them. She pulled away as he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and reached behind her to open her bedroom door. As she got it open he walked her over to the bed.

“Spike” it came out as a moan.

“Buffy.”

“Buffy?”

She snapped back into reality as she noticed her mother standing in front of her. She was still standing in the middle of her hallway.

“Sweetheart?”

“I’m fine. I was just…thinking.” Buffy was sure that her cheeks were red. How embarrassing to have your mother catch you fantasizing about someone, though it could have been much worse.

Joyce didn’t look too convinced, but decided to let it go. “Okay. If you say so.”

Buffy put on a fake smile until her mom walked away. She turned around and mouthed an ‘oh my God’ before walking into her room and shutting the door.

She sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands. What the hell was that about? Thinking about past sexual experiences. Or not past because it never really happened. Though she couldn’t understand why, if it never happened, it all seemed so real. Why could she remember everything so vividly?

It must have something to do with what almost happened between her and James earlier. They had almost kissed. The day had started off innocent enough. Just painting her room. Then they had had lunch. A friendly sort of lunch. But when they got back to painting something was different. They seemed to get closer together, and the talking had seemed to turn into flirting. Then they had gotten into a paint fight and…almost kissed. If it hadn’t been for her mom calling out from downstairs, they probably would have.

She was losing her mind. She could not be falling for James. This was crazy. He had a girlfriend, who also happened to be one of her friends. Anything between them would only hurt people and end up screwing up everything…again. And even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he was still him. Spike. That’s who she thought of every time she saw him. Even though he was nicer, friendlier, and a tad bit more human she couldn’t get the annoying, jackass vampire out of her mind.

She had become almost 90 certain that the world she had imagined was just that; imagined. But there was still a part of her that couldn’t be convinced. A part that said it was all just too real. The doctors told her the mind was a very powerful thing and therefore her fake memories might seem very real even though they are really not. It seemed acceptable at the time. But now…

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of the phone ringing. She reached over and grabbed it.

“Hello.”

“Buffy?” It was Julie.

“Yeah?”

“Hey did you get all of your painting done?”

“Yeah.” ‘And a little more,’ she thought guiltily.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

“Oh it’s fine. You had more important things to do.” Julie was silent for a moment. “So how did it go anyway?” Buffy finally asked.

“Pretty good. Well as good as it can be given the situation. I feel so bad for Juliet sometimes you know. She’s only 23 and she’s having to take care of herself and her mother.” Buffy felt a pang of guilt. While Juliet had been taking care of her poor sick mother, Buffy had been flirting and almost making out with her man. What kind of friend was she?

“Buffy? Are you still with me?”

“What? Oh yeah sorry. Just zoned out for a minute.” She heard Julie laugh.

“It’s fine. It is kinda late.” Buffy looked at the clock. It was almost ten.

“Please the night is still young.”

“And if we were adventurous we would do something.”

“Maybe we should Julie. I mean why not? Unless you’re tired of course.”

“Oh no. I mean I’m tired of driving, but if you wanna drive us then we could go out. Maybe take a stroll around town.”

“Sounds good to me. How about I pick you up in like thirty minutes?”

“Sure.”

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“So what is there to do in this town?” Buffy asked.

“Well other than Freddy’s, not really a whole lot. There are some pretty cool shops downtown. We can park and walk around.”

“Sounds like a plan. I need some exercise.”

“Yeah…right,” Julie said sarcastically.

“What?”

“You know Buffy, for someone who was in a coma for six years you look good.”

“Thanks. It’s cause they didn’t feed me much.” Julie laughed at her joke.

When they reached the downtown area Julie directed Buffy where to park. Once they had found a good spot they got out of the car and began walking around.

“So when do these places close? I mean don’t businesses usually close at like 7?” Buffy asked.

“Not around here. I mean some of the smaller places close at 9 but quite a few of them stay open until midnight. I guess this is just a nocturnal town.” Buffy nodded and smiled, but inside she was contemplating the whole ‘nocturnal town’ thing. She made it sound like it was a town for vampires. Of course she probably had not meant for it to sound like that. After all, vampires didn’t seem to exist here.

“Oh let’s go in there,” Julie said pointing across the street from where they walking.

“Where?”

“The Magic Shop.” Buffy looked at the store nervously.

“Uhh…are you sure? I mean what if there are a bunch of weirdoes in there?” Julie laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” They crossed the street and entered the store. It didn’t look anything like the magic stores Buffy was used to seeing. There weren’t jars of weird stuff or lots of books. It was a small store with very little magic stuff to offer. Most things in the store were like magic tricks, cards and black hats. Julie went straight for the hats and picked one up and put it on. She grabbed a wand from a nearby container and pointed in at Buffy.

“Abra cadabra,” she said smiling. “I summon the powers that be to take away all of Buffy’s fears and worries and let her sort out all of her problems.” Buffy smiled back.

“I appreciate that.” She turned around and started looking at some of the books they did have.

“Can I help you ladies?” They both turned to see the owner of the voice.

“No we’re just looking,” Julie replied.

“Well my name is Ally, let me know if you need anything,” she said walking behind the counter.

Buffy managed and smile and turned back around. Though she wasn’t caught off guard this time, she still didn’t know what to say to the girl. Willow. In the other world, her best friend, here…they’d probably never even met. The girl certainly didn’t act like they had.

Buffy continued pretending to look through books while trying to secretly look at the girl behind the counter. She looked like Willow and sounded like Willow. But there was something different about her. She seemed more…innocent. Buffy shook her head. This girl was not Willow.

“Hey Buffy,” Julie called. Buffy turned around. Julie was holding a black hat. “You find anything?”

“No.” The girl walked over to where she was standing.

“Well I think I’m gonna get these for Vince. He’s been watching those magicians on TV and using our bowls and spoon pretending to do tricks.” Buffy smiled. She still found the idea of her having a child a little strange, but couldn’t help but smile at the thought. Even if his father was in a weird way her ex.

That was still one thing that didn’t make sense. Assuming she had seen David somewhere before she slipped into her coma, why was he the one her mind had decided to convince her she was in love with? And why did she still have some of those feelings?

“Earth to Buffy.” Julie waved a hand in front of her face.

“Oh sorry. Zoned out.”

“Yeah I noticed. Been doing that a lot tonight.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Are you ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

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“Please don’t do this.” He reached out and wiped the tears off of her face.

“I’m sorry baby, I have to.”

“No you don’t. You don’t have to do this. You’re choosing to; there’s a big difference.” She pulled away from his touch and turned her back to him.

“Buffy please. You know that if there was any other way…”

“Don’t. Don’t act like this is the only way…” He put his hand on her shoulder. She sniffed trying to hold back tears.

“I love you, you know I do, but if I don’t do this…if I don’t marry her…”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear this…I can’t…” She pulled away from him once again and started to leave the room. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him.

“I’ll never forget about you, you know that. And she’ll never replace you.” She looked up at him with teary eyes. He leaned down and kissed her.

“How am I supposed to do this without you?”

“You’ll make it. I know you will. You’re a strong woman Buffy.” She laid her head on his chest as more tears fell from her eyes.

“I love you Angel.”

Buffy’s eyes snapped open and she sat up straight on the couch. That was the second dream she’d had that felt more like a memory than a dream. But it still didn’t make sense. She knew it hadn’t happened in her make believe world, and was fairly certain it hadn’t happened here. So the question remained; what were the dreams all about? She wanted to believe that they meant nothing, but there was something that wouldn’t let her.

She needed answers. And answers were what she intended to get. Buffy stood up knowing what she had to do. She had to find out if they had ever been together and there was only one way to do that. She was going to find David and ask him herself.

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