You Gotta Have Faith
James was the first to pull away.
“What are we doing?” Buffy found it hard to respond. In all honesty she didn’t know what was happening. All she knew was that she was really enjoying kissing him and didn’t want to stop.
“Does it matter?” He quickly shook his head no and returned his lips to hers. His hands went to her waist and pulled her closer. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. They continued kissing for several minutes only pulling apart to catch their breath. Something suddenly came over Buffy and she opened her eyes. They widened when she saw him.
“And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” She quickly pulled away from James who looked very confused.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I…I…”
“Go ahead pet. Tell him. I’m sure he’ll understand.” She gulped. James noticed that she was looking at something behind him and turned around.
“Buffy. What are you looking at?”
“You don’t see him?”
“See who? There’s no one there,” he said with concern in his voice.
“Uhh…I uhh…” She closed her eyes and when she opened them again he was gone.
“Buffy?”
She took a deep breath. “Never mind. It’s nothing. I just thought I saw something.”
“Are you sure you’re alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I’m fine. Really.” He didn’t look convinced but decided to let it go.
“Well then…where were we?” He started to lean towards her. She stood up quickly.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”
“Right.” He stood up. “Maybe I should just go.” He began walking towards the door.
“No you can’t.” He stopped and turned around looking a slight bit shocked at her tone. “Well…everyone will be here soon. They’ll wanna know what happened to you.” He nodded. She was right. They would ask questions if he wasn’t there and he didn’t want to have to make up an excuse. On the other hand, how was he supposed to look at his girlfriend knowing that he had just made out with another girl? James slumped back down on the couch. Buffy moved away from him.
“I’m just gonna go in the kitchen and get…some water.” Without waiting for a response she left the room. Once she was in the kitchen she ran her hands through her hair. What the hell was that about? Seeing Spike. ‘Maybe it’s your conscience telling you that what you’re doing is wrong,’ she thought. “But since when does my conscience look like Spike?” She walked to the cabinet and pulled out a glass. She went to the faucet and filled it up with water and took a sip. And anyway…Spike as a conscience? Ha. He would be like ‘yes Buffy, it is okay to kill Juliet. She is in the way after all.’ Buffy almost dropped her glass at that thought. Kill Juliet? And what was this about her being in the way? In the way of what?
A knock on the front door brought her out of her thoughts and she went to open it.
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“Well that was…”
“The worst movie in the history of time?” Julie asked.
“I was gonna go with interesting but that works too,” Chris replied. Everyone smiled. Everyone but James. He was still thinking about what happened earlier.
“What’s wrong baby?” Juliet asked when she noticed the look on his face. He looked down at her.
“Nothing. I was just thinking.”
“Don’t hurt yourself.” He managed a smile and she leaned up and gave him a kiss. A gesture that did not go unnoticed by Buffy. She made a face, but quickly erased it when Nick put his arm around her. Her first instinct was to shrug it off, and that fact bothered her. Nick was a great guy, and he was good looking. There was no reason that she shouldn’t be having a good time with him. She ignored the nagging in the back of her mind that said James was that reason. She looked back over at him. He now had his arm draped over Juliet’s shoulders and was talking to Chris. Buffy leaned into Nick despite the fact that she wanted to get away from him.
“So where to now people?” Nick asked. Everyone turned their eyes to the couple.
“I don’t know. I was thinking we could head over to Freddie’s for some drinks,” Chris said.
“Sounds good to me,” Julie said. Everyone nodded in agreement and they headed in the direction of the club. When they arrived they went over to the bar and sat down.
“First rounds on me,” Nick said. They all ordered their drinks and sat chatting about the movie.
“Excuse me.” Buffy turned around at the sound of a voice. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw the girl. Her first instinct was to pounce on her, but she pushed that feeling aside.
“Yeah?”
“I just need to get by you,” she said.
“Oh okay.” Buffy shifted her chair so she could pass behind the bar.
“Hey Frank I’m here.”
“You’re late Liz.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said throwing her stuff down. “You taken care of these people?”
“Yes, but you can help me make their drinks.” She nodded as he told her what to make and she went to it. Buffy watched as she moved around the bar expertly. It was weird to say the least, but then again many things had surprised her since she’d woken up from her coma.
“Here you go,” Liz said placing drinks in front of Buffy and Nick. They both said their thank-yous. “Can I get you anything else?” They shook their heads no.
“So how are you doing tonight?” she asked.
“We’re doing good. How about you?” Nick asked her.
“I’m 5 by 5.”
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The rest of the night went pretty good. They all had a few drinks and then did some dancing. Buffy did her best not to pay attention to James. She succeeded for the most part though he didn’t have as much luck. Watching her dance with Nick irritated him, but there was nothing he could do about it.
Nick dropped Buffy off around 2 a.m. and she snuck up to her room quietly. She closed the door and lay back on her bed. She began to think about what Julie had said. Maybe it was time that she let go of her doubts and just lived her new life. Stop thinking about vampires and demons and slaying and start concentrating on college and other normal things. Like making out with hot guys. ‘Hot single guys of course,’ her mind told her. She had to keep herself away from James because apparently being alone with him would only lead to badness. She shook her head willing herself to stop thinking about him. Buffy got up and walked over to her dresser. She picked up the forms her mother had gotten for her.
It was time to let go of the past and prepare for the future.
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The next morning Buffy walked into the living room to find her mother sitting on the couch folding laundry.
“Hey mom.”
“Oh Buffy, I didn’t know you were home. I didn’t hear you come in last night.”
“Yeah I didn’t get in until late,” she said sitting down beside Joyce. “Need some help?”
“Sure.” Buffy picked up a towel and folded it.
“Mom…can I ask you something?”
“Of course sweetheart.” Buffy looked down at the laundry in her hands not sure how to say what she wanted to say. This was usually something you discussed with your best friend, not your mother. Unfortunately her best friend was also best friends with the girlfriend of the boy she was having the problem with.
“See there’s this guy. And lately I’ve been having these…feelings. But he has a girlfriend. What should I do?” Joyce put down the rags in her hands and looked at her daughter.
“Oh honey, you don’t know how much I wished for moments like this these last few years. I used to sit there and plan what I would say to you.” Buffy couldn’t help but smile at her mother.
“So what did you come up with?”
“Well I’ve put a lot of thought into it and…I can’t tell you what to do. You have to make that choice on your own.”
“What? You’ve been thinking about it for 6 years and all you came up with is you can’t help me?”
“I didn’t say I can’t help you, I said I can’t tell you what to do.”
“So what can you tell me?” Buffy asked.
“I can tell you that it will all work out.”
“And how could you possibly know that?”
“I’m a mom. It’s what I do,” she said giving her daughter a smile. Buffy returned the smile.
“So don’t worry about it. I’m sure if you really care about him, then it will all work out.” Buffy made a face at that. Did she really care about him? No of course not. It was just physical lusty feelings she was having. The same kind of feelings she had for Spike. That’s all. She hoped.
“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Huh?” Buffy said snapping out of her daze.
“I said is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Oh…uh…yeah.”
“Well I don’t mean to change the subject but I’ve been putting some thought into your future.” Buffy sighed. She should have seen this coming.
“I really think you should take that test,” Joyce told her daughter.
“I’m going to mom. In two weeks remember?” Buffy replied slightly annoyed. She picked up another towel and began folding it.
“You never told me you registered. That’s great honey. You have been studying right?”
“I do want to pass.”
“Yes of course,” the older woman said picking up the last of the laundry.
“I’m gonna be alright mom. Trust me.”
“I do trust you sweetheart. I know you’re going to do great things. Now that you have the chance.”
“What do you mean now that I have a chance?” Buffy asked.
“I just mean now that you’re awake.”
“Oh right.” The older woman smiled at her daughter.
“I’m so glad you’re back Buffy.”
“Me too mom. Me too.”
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