Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm sorry for not having updated in a while, I hope I haven't lost all of my readers. I've been struggling with pregnancy sickness, pneumonia and a stubborn eye infection wich resulted in me not being able to wear my contacts for a week, hence the lack of updates. But I'm back now and I'll try not to let it go so long until my next update. Thank you, all of you who reviewed my last chapter, and as always, thank you Tammy for betaing! Hope you'll enjoy the chapter!
When Buffy entered The Magic Box the following morning, Spike was already there, putting various objects on the shelves and looking incredibly bored. She had to suppress a giggle as she walked over to him. “Hi.”

He looked up and Buffy was pleased to notice that he seemed genuinely happy to see her. “Morning, pet. Didn’t see you when I got back last night. Guess you’d already gone to bed.”

Buffy blushed. “Um, yeah, I was really tired. Went to bed early and fell asleep right away.” Actually, she hadn’t been able to go to sleep until she had heard him return to the house, but he didn’t need to know that. She glanced around the room, suddenly realizing that the two of them were the only people there. “No Wes?” Spike snorted, muttering something she couldn’t quite make out. She raised a brow. “Don’t like him much, huh?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Bloody nancy-boy. Don’t see why I have to put up with him.”

“Well…” Buffy decided to choose her words carefully. “He is your Watcher.”

Staring at her in disbelief, Spike dropped one of the books he was stacking. It fell to the floor with a thump. “He’s also a member of the Council of bleedin’ wankers. I can’t believe you of all people would defend them after everything they’ve done.”

“I’m not!” Buffy gave him a firm look. “But…” She hesitated. “You know what? Forget it. You’re right; Wesley’s a jerk. Can we talk about something else? Just thinking about him gives me a headache.”

He chuckled and gave her a questioning look. “All right, pet. Have something special in mind?”

She shrugged, putting on an innocent expression. “No. I was just… wondering how the patrolling went last night.”

“Went alright, s’pose.” He shrugged in an attempt of acting casual. “Took out a few vamps, was nothing really.”

Buffy snorted. “Right. How many?”

He stared at her, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t know. Not like I was counting.” She just looked at him, an expectant expression on her face, and he rolled his eyes. “Bloody hell, fine! Eight. Happy?”

She giggled. “Knew you’d be counting. So, how did it make you feel?”

He seemed to be thinking about it for a moment. “Strong. Powerful. Almost…” He hesitated, searching for the right word to describe the rush he had felt when he had shoved the stake through the vampire’s heart.

“High? Like you’re on drugs or something? Like you’re at the top of the world?”

He looked at her in confusion. “Yeah! How did you…?”

She gave him a sad smile. “William used to say the same thing.”

Spike nodded in understanding, for some reason feeling disappointed. Would they ever be able to have a conversation without her bringing her lover up and comparing the two of them? He felt bad as soon as he had finished that thought, knowing how much Buffy had loved his cousin. But was he really such a bad person for wishing that she would, just once, look at him and see him for who he really was, not just for who he was related to? He couldn’t fool himself anymore; he was in love with Buffy. It didn’t matter that he hardly knew her, or that she couldn’t possibly ever feel the same way about him. He had gotten used to the idea of never being loved by now. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.

“Spike? Are you okay?” Buffy gave him a questioning look, having noticed how quiet he had suddenly become, and wondered what was going through his mind. She also wondered how he would react if she would simply lean over and kiss him, and froze. Whoa! Where did that come from? Of course, deep down she knew that it wasn’t the first time she’d had those thoughts, but stubbornly tried to ignore the little voice in her head that kept telling her to let Spike know how she felt. How could she do that, when she didn’t understand those feelings herself?

He seemed to snap out of his thoughts, and gave her an assuring smile. “Sure, pet, m’fine.” She didn’t look all convinced, but was obviously willing to let it go. An idea suddenly came to him, and he had blurted it out before he could think it through; “So, um, wanna spar?” Buffy’s eyes widened; obviously he had taken her by surprise. She didn’t answer at first, and he was just about to take it back, when he noticed the look in her eyes. That wasn’t a look of repulsion, it was a look of… interest? And why not, he thought. After all, she had suggested the very same thing the other day. Maybe it was time to take her up on it.

She smiled a little. “Okay.” Then she couldn’t help but add, a teasing note in her voice; “If you think you can take me.”

“Oh, I’ll take you, all right…” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he silently cursed himself, certain that he had managed to scare her away. Buffy looked surprised for a moment, then the smile was back on her face, and he let out the breath he had been holding. She mumbled something that sounded like ‘we’ll see about that’, and took off towards the training room.

He stared after her, suddenly painfully aware of what she was wearing. A tight, dark red halter neck top, and a black skirt that reached barely over her knees and showed a lot of her soft, tanned skin. Had his jeans always been this uncomfortable? And wasn’t it suddenly very hot in the store? Spike took a deep breath, silently longing for a cold shower. How the bloody hell would he be able to fight her like that? He got a strange feeling that this had been her plan all along, even if he had been the one to make the suggestion. Was she deliberately trying to torture him? Or… He had been so certain that he would never have a chance with her. Was it possible that maybe, just maybe, he had been wrong?


TBC





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