“Have you told your mates about us?”
Buffy looked at Spike, a bit taken aback by his sudden question. It had been two days since they had made love for the first time at Spike’s place. “Not yet.”
“Oh.” He quickly looked away, and she sighed.
“I will, okay? It’s not like I’ve been hiding it or anything, it just hasn’t come up.” He didn’t answer, just kept walking, and Buffy grabbed his arm to stop him. “Spike!”
He stopped then, giving her a tired look. “I understand, s’okay.”
Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, then raised her hands in frustration. “I told Giles, Spike. Giles! He’s like my father, hell; he’s been more like a father to me than my real dad. If that won’t convince you that I’m serious about us, I don’t know what will.”
Spike opened his mouth, then closed it again, lowering his eyes. “I’m sorry, I…”
“No…” Buffy let out another sigh, her voice softening when she spoke again; “Spike, I’m gonna tell them. I want them to know about us.” She paused, gently taking his hand in hers. “This is real, okay? I don’t regret anything. Don’t ever doubt that.”
He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I don’t. Look, Buffy, I know I’m acting like a ponce about this. It’s just…” He hesitated. “Never mind. You tell them when you’re ready.”
“I am ready.” Buffy looked him deep in the eyes, silently begging for him to believe her. “I promise, the next time we’ll meet them, I’ll tell them.”
Spike was quiet for a moment. “Really, Buffy, you don’t have to…”
She interrupted him, giving him a patient look. “I know, but I want to. Okay?”
He smiled then. “Okay.” Then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, softly on the lips, and she happily leaned into his touch. They looked at each other for a moment, then started walking again. She slid her small hand into his and he gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I have a bad feeling about this.” Buffy glanced at Spike as they had reached the cemetery, looking for something evil to kill. She held her stake in a tight grip, fully prepared to shove it right into the heart of some lurking vampire.
“What do you mean?” Spike casted a brief look at her before quickly turning his attention back to the surroundings, not wanting to be taken off guard should someone, or something, try to sneak up on them.
Buffy stopped. “This whole thing just feels…” She hesitated. “For me, ‘vampire’ equals bad. Soul or no soul, I don’t think I could ever trust her.”
“Oh, I don’t trust her.” Spike stopped as well.
“You don’t?” Buffy looked confused. “But…”
Spike sighed. “I may be new at this, pet, but I’m not completely daft. It’s just that…” He paused. “If she’s serious, if she really wants to change and be good, then I wanna help her. I’ve done some really bad things myself, and I got a second chance. And…”
“And now you think she deserves the same.” Buffy got a thoughtful look on her face, causing Spike to frown.
“Clearly, you don’t agree.”
“I didn’t say that…” Buffy sighed, trying to find the right words. “But maybe it’s not possible. I know she has a soul, but what does that really say about a person? There are people out there who rob and kill and rape, and they have a soul. It doesn’t stop them from hurting other people.” Spike opened his mouth to object, but she went on; “I know it’s not the same thing, but think about it. Drusilla’s been evil for more than two hundred years. Then someone forces a soul on her. That doesn’t automatically mean that she’ll suddenly become a completely different person.” She frowned, correcting herself; “Vampire.”
Spike shrugged. “Maybe not, but maybe you’re wrong. She hasn’t killed anyone in thirty years, that should mean something.” Buffy didn’t look convinced, but remained silent. He sighed. “And it’s obvious that nothing I say is gonna make you see things my way, so let’s just drop it.” He started walking again, Buffy following, and for a couple of minutes, neither of them said anything.
They kept walking in silence, until Buffy couldn’t take it anymore. “Spike?”
“What?” He cringed at the irritated note in his voice, immediately noticing the hurt look on Buffy’s face. Sighing, he reached out for her and pulled her into his arms, relieved when she – after only a moment’s hesitation – melted into his embrace. “Love you.”
“I know.” She smiled a little, then pulled back. “Let’s head back to your place.”
He gave her a confused look. “What about patrolling?”
Buffy looked around the empty cemetery. There was not a vampire in sight. “I think we can call it a night. Looks quiet enough.”
Spike hesitated. “What if…?” Then he stopped as a thought occurred to him, giving her an understanding look. “You don’t wanna run into Drusilla, is that what this is about?”
“No.” Buffy pouted a little. “Maybe.”
He gently cupped her cheek and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “She won’t hurt you, luv. Even if she wanted to, which she won’t, I would never let her.”
Buffy forced a smile, trying to hide her irritation. It was obvious that Spike thought she was afraid of Drusilla, which was far from the truth. The thing was, she didn’t like the way Spike was talking about the souled vampire, like he had something in common with her. Why was he so eager to help her, anyway? Not like she was jealous or anything. Absolutely not! She was just… concerned. Spike seemed so willing to trust the vampire, even though he said he wasn’t, and that could only lead to badness. Buffy hadn’t met Drusilla yet, she admitted that, but there was no way she could believe that a vampire could ever be good. And since Spike obviously believed different, it was up to her to make sure he wouldn’t end up getting hurt.
She smiled again, for real this time, and wrapped her arms around his waist. She could hardly believe how much he had already come to mean to her, and knew that she loved him. Hopefully, some day she would even be able to say the words out loud. But until then, she would have to settle for letting her actions tell him how she felt about him. She kissed him then, slow and gentle at first, but the kiss soon became deeper. Enjoying the feeling of his arms around her, she tightened her grip around him, one hand coming up to play with the curls on the back of his neck. Oblivious of the rest of the world, they just stood there for what felt like hours, kissing and holding each other. Neither one of them noticed the dark-haired vampire who was watching them from a distance, a furious expression on her pale face.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I managed to write this chapter before Christmas after all, there was a brief moment when I feared the muse wouldn't let me. Anyway, thanks for the reviews, and Merry Christmas to all of you! :)