“You want to get rid of your soul? Why?” Spike knew he shouldn’t be talking to her; he should just shove the wooden stake through Drusilla’s un-beating heart and be done with it. More importantly; he knew he probably could do it now; she wouldn’t be able to stop him with her thrall anymore. Of course, he couldn’t be absolutely sure the thrall wouldn’t work once he had become aware of it, but he had a feeling it might be working that way.
“Why?” Drusilla glared at him. “Why do you think? I need the pain to stop! Eats me up inside, like worms crawling through my brain, feeding until there’s nothing left but an empty shell. And then…” She paused. “Then they’ll come.” She let out a hollow laugh. “They’ll always come for you when you’re weak. And they will take me with them.” Another pause. “Have you ever wondered what it’s like in hell? I believe the birds are all black. And the tea will taste like ashes.”
“Um…” Spike didn’t know what to say. He had witnessed Drusilla rambling before, but it seemed like she was slipping more and more into the land of craziness, and he wasn’t sure if that would be a good thing or a bad. At the same time he felt almost sorry for her, even though he was still furious at her for what she had tried to make him do. She probably didn’t deserve it, yet he found himself trying to reason with her. “Look, Dru, you don’t have to do this. You can still be good, you haven’t hurt anyone yet. I can…”
Drusilla’s laugh stopped him. “Still thinking you can save me, don’t you? It’s too late. Too much blood on my hands, I can’t take it back.” Before he could interrupt, she added; “With the soul gone, I will not have to. I can finally have peace.”
“So you can hurt and kill even more people?” Spike was starting to get really frustrated. He wasn’t getting through to her at all, and suddenly didn’t think it was even possible. A part of him could understand her, though, could understand the feeling of just wanting the pain to stop. He could help her with that, at least. Taking a step towards her, he raised the stake. “If it’s peace you want, just let me do my job.”
She had been calm so far, so he was not prepared for the sudden fit of rage. The strong blow took him by surprise, causing him to lose the grip of his stake and it clattered to the floor. Drusilla let out a furious growl, her beautiful, yet pale face shifting into the face of a demon. “My Angel wanted me dead as well. Didn’t think I was worthy of him.”
Spike raised a brow. “William tried to kill you? Good for him. Too bad he failed.”
“William?” Drusilla’s face changed back to normal. For a moment she looked confused, then laughed. “William was no angel. His mind was poisoned, just like yours. Poisoned by her.” She got a thoughtful look on her face. “He tried to resist me at first, just like you. Even managed to break free of my thrall. Tried to convince himself that his love for sunshine was strong enough.”
Spike remained quiet, silently urging her to keep talking. He had a feeling that whatever she was saying was important. Also, if she would get lost in her memories of the past, he would have a bigger chance to grab the stake again and finally be able to use it. Hopefully oblivious of what he was thinking, Drusilla went on; “In the end he was weak. He wouldn’t help me, but he kept coming back. He couldn’t stay away; a part of him needed the darkness. At the same time, he knew he shouldn’t.” She smiled a little. “A Slayer is partly made of darkness, you see. Could end up either way.”
Definitely not liking what he was hearing, Spike tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke; “Are you saying a Slayer could change and become evil? Not bloody likely!”
“A Slayer is nothing more than a killer. What you call ‘evil’ is simply a matter of opinion.” Drusilla sighed. “William knew that. A part of him wanted me to turn him.”
Spike stared at her, mouth open. “I don’t believe you!” Then a thought occurred to him. “But that would be impossible, right? A Slayer can’t be turned, the blood…” His voice trailed off; suddenly he didn’t know what to think.
“There is one way.” Drusilla picked up the stake from the floor. “If a Slayer willingly allows a vampire to bite him, then it is possible. I told you before; every Slayer has a death wish. Just like every Slayer secretly longs to see what it’s like to step over to the other side and let the darkness embrace him.”
Spike shook his head in denial. “No! That’s not true. I would never…”
Drusilla went on like she hadn’t heard him. “No thrall can be involved; the Slayer has to make the choice by heart. Only then, his blood will be harmless. Only then, a Slayer can be turned. William knew that as well.”
Swallowing, Spike shook his head again. “William… He…”
“He wanted it.” Drusilla nodded. “He would never admit so, even to himself. But he knew that he would give in, eventually.” She giggled. “It was written in the stars, you see. Miss Edith told me. It was only a matter of time before he would no longer be able to fight it, not even his love for sunshine would be enough to save him.”
Spike glanced at the stake in her hand, trying to figure out what to do with this new-found information. So that’s why William had allowed himself to be killed, to keep from being turned into a vampire by Drusilla. He felt a pang in his chest as the realization hit him, even though he’d never really known his cousin, he could suddenly feel William’s fear and desperation just like it had been his own. William must have known that the first thing he would do once he had been turned was to seek out and kill the love of his life; Buffy. And he couldn’t let that happen. Even without his Slayer powers, William might have been able to fight the vampire. Unless he hadn’t really made any efforts.
“My Angel said I shouldn’t waste my time on you.” Drusilla’s smile disappeared. “He was right. You can’t help me.” She paused, then the smile was back. “Maybe I will have better luck with the next Slayer.”
Eyes on the stake still in her hand, Spike snorted. “So that’s it, you’re gonna kill me? Right. Forget something here, pet? As long as you have the soul, you won’t be able to hurt me. Not unless you want the bloody worms in your head to have their feast.”
Drusilla’s eyes darkened. “Don’t worry about me, my sweet Slayer. I will not kill you.”
Spike looked at her in confusion, for a moment forgetting to be on his guard. “Then how do you expect the next Slayer to be called?” She just looked at him, an expectant expression on her face, and when the sharp pain hit him in the back, he never saw it coming. Not able to keep from screaming with pain, he dropped to his knees. Confused and dazed, he stared at the blood on the floor, for a moment not realizing that it was coming from him. Desperately trying not to pass out from the pain, his eyes landed on the second vampire who had stepped out from the shadows behind him. He was tall, with dark hair and wide shoulders, grinning as the blood kept dripping from the sword he was holding.
Giggling madly, Drusilla eagerly clapped her hands. “I won’t have to kill you. My Angel will.”
TBC
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