Buffy scrambled to her feet without a word, heading for the door. Giles snapped out of the shock and grabbed her arm to stop her. “Where-where are you…?”
She gave him a cold look. “Let go of me, Giles. I have to go now, or it’ll be too late!”
“Go where? Buffy…” He stopped, understanding dawning on him. “No. No, I won’t let you do it. I forbid you.”
Buffy glared at him, refusing to give in to the grief threatening to consume her. All she allowed herself to feel for the moment was a blinding fury, and hate for the female vampire, hell, for all vampires. “She’s getting away!”
Taking a deep breath, Giles gently took her hand. “Buffy, she is already gone.” Seeing her swallowing hard, he went on; “I promise you, my dear, Drusilla will pay for this. But if you go after her now, like this, you will die. Believe me; you are not thinking straight right now and she will know you are vulnerable.” Buffy stared at him, angrily, her bottom lip starting to tremble. A tear rolled down her cheek and Giles felt like his own heart was breaking at the sight of her.
“He has a pulse!” Giles frowned at the sound of Wesley’s voice, for the first time realizing that the other Watcher had arrived as well. Now the dark-haired man looked up from his position on the floor where he was kneeling next to Spike. “It is weak, but it’s there. He is still alive.” Giles just stared at him, dumbfounded, then looked at his nephew. Wesley gave him a patient look. “Giles, call 911. Now!”
“Yes-yes, of course!” Giles finally seemed to snap out of it and rushed out of the room in search for a phone.
Buffy let out a shuddering breath, looking at Wesley with tear-filled eyes. “He’s dead.”
The Watcher had removed his jacket, which he was now pressing against the large wound in Spike’s back in an attempt to stop the bleeding, or at least slow it down. Now he looked at her in surprise, shaking his head. “No, he’s not. Not yet.”
She didn’t seem to hear him as she went on, and he could see that she was shaking; “I was too late, again. Should’ve known…”
Wesley glanced towards the door, desperately hoping Giles would return. It was obvious that the girl was going into shock, and he had no idea how to handle the situation. Books and paperwork; those were the things he knew. But dealing with people was a whole different matter. He had gone through life so far with the constant feeling of never fitting in, when all he had ever wanted was to be accepted for who he was. But his father had made it perfectly clear to him, again and again over the years, how worthless he really was. He supposed it was only natural that other people would notice it as well. And truth be told, he hadn’t exactly done anything to convince them otherwise.
Buffy had backed up against the wall and now slid down to the floor, shaking her head in denial. “He’s gone, just like William. They all leave…” She buried her face in her hands.
Wesley watched her carefully, once again glancing over his shoulder in hope of seeing the older man. Then he sighed. Clearly, he was on his own. “Um, Buffy?” No response. He cleared his throat. “The ambulance is on its way. They should be here soon.” She raised her head, but seemed to be looking right through him. Wesley frowned. “Buffy?” Still no reaction.
Images and flashbacks rushed through her mind, and once again Buffy had withdrawn into herself. But this time it was different. When William had died, she had kept clinging to him and refused to take in the fact that he was really gone. Desperately, she had retreated into a world where they were still happy and together, where no one would ever be able to take that away from her. But now, all she knew was pain and despair. As if losing William hadn’t been enough; now Spike was gone as well. She had been right all along; she just wasn’t meant to love.
Allowing herself to fall in love with Spike had been a mistake, she realized that now. But she had, nevertheless, and she hadn’t even gotten the chance to say the words to his face. And now it was too late. She never should have opened up to him in the first place, she should’ve just kept to herself and pushed him away, instead of fooling herself into thinking that maybe she wasn’t doomed to a life in loneliness and misery after all. Because she was. And she couldn’t go through that kind of pain and grief again. Her only option now was to once again escape from the cruel world. And this time she couldn’t go back. Ever.
“Buffy, did you hear what I just said?” Wesley’s concern grew bigger by the minute. It was obvious that Buffy wasn’t listening to him and by the look of it, she wasn’t even aware of his presence anymore. It wasn’t like the others had bothered to say anything to him; they mostly seemed to be talking around him, but he had understood from their vague comments regarding the death of the former Slayer that Buffy had reacted in a similar way back then. He swallowed, nervously. “Things are looking rather dark right now, I’m aware of that, but it’s not too late. Do you hear me?”
Still nothing. Wesley’s concern turned into frustration. “For the love of God, Buffy, snap out of it, please! Spike is still alive!” For a brief moment, he thought he could see the slightest spark of hope flicker in her eyes, then it was gone and he wasn’t sure if he had just imagined it. But he decided to make another attempt of getting through to her. “I can feel his pulse, although it’s very weak. Come here and feel for yourself.” He held his breath as he waited for a reaction.
“Too late.” Rocking back and forth, Buffy started mumbling again; “Too late, always too late…”
Wesley wanted to walk over to her and shake her, or possibly slap her, to force her out of the near catatonic state, but didn’t dare leaving Spike. Someone had to keep the pressure on the wound, until the paramedics would show up. Where in God’s name was Giles?! He sighed again, deciding to try a different tactic. “Buffy, I can understand what you are doing, believe me. If anyone should know about taking the easy way out, it’s me. I have been doing it my whole life. But sooner or later, we all have to face the truth. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want. But the one thing we can never allow ourselves to lose is hope.”
He paused, realizing that Buffy had become completely still. Having no idea if he was getting through to her or not, he went on anyway: “I understand that when you lost William, you lost a part of yourself. And now you feel like it’s happening all over again, like destiny is repeating itself without you being able to do anything about it. But it’s not true. It doesn’t have to be like that. It’s not too late this time.” He could suddenly hear the sound of sirens, coming from outside, and prayed he was right.
“It is.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper and he had to struggle to hear what she was saying. Then he realized that she was finally looking at him, really looking. Tears started welling up in her eyes. “I couldn’t help him.”
“You’re right.” Wesley nodded in agreement, just as the paramedics entered the room. “But there’s still a chance they might.”
TBC
[Reviews - 602]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 2720 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +