She looked up. “Heard anything yet?”
Giles frowned at the way she avoided his question, but decided to let it go. “As a matter of fact, I just spoke with one of the doctors.” He hesitated. “Why don’t we go back to the others?” He gestured towards the waiting area where Wesley, Willow, Tara, and Xander were waiting. Anya had offered to stay at the Magic Box with Dawn, claiming hospitals made her depressed because of all the sick people. “I’m quite sure they would want to…”
“How is he? Is he gonna be okay?” Buffy interrupted him.
Giles watched her carefully, then nodded. “Well, according to the doctor, he will be just fine. He has lost a lot of blood, but other than that…” He paused. “Thank the Lord for Slayer healing!”
Buffy let out the breath she had been holding. “Is he awake? I wanna see him.” She started to get up, but Giles put his hand on her arm to stop her.
“Yes, of course, but first I would like to speak to you.” He went on before she could object. “You have to forgive me, but I am deeply concerned about how you are dealing with what happened tonight. I spoke with Wesley earlier and…”
“I’m fine, Giles.” Buffy gave him a cold look. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I wanna see Spike.”
Giles had a concerned expression on his face. “I understand. But Buffy…” He was quiet for a moment. “I’m terribly sorry for bringing this up, but do you remember what we talked about the other night? This is exactly why…”
“Don’t!” Buffy glared at him for a moment, then looked away. “You were right, okay? Does that make you happy?”
Sighing, Giles shook his head. “Buffy…”
Buffy didn’t let him finish. “Would you please go tell the others that he’s gonna be okay?” Giles opened his mouth, then closed it again and nodded. “Thank you.” With that she turned around and left, leaving Giles to look after her with a frown on his face.
“You guys think Spike’s gonna be okay?” Willow looked at the others, her eyes finally landing on her girlfriend, who was sitting next to her.
Tara gave her a small smile and gently took her hand. “I’m sure he’ll be fine, sweetie.”
Willow sighed. “I can only imagine how Buffy’s feeling right now. She must be so scared. I just wish there was something we could do.” Tara nodded and gave her hand a small squeeze.
Xander gave her a confused look. “What are you talking about? Why would Buffy be more worried than the rest of us?”
Wesley spoke up. “Well, it appears that Buffy and Spike have been… involved, for a while now.”
Xander stared at him, dumbfounded. “They’ve been what?!” Then he snorted, shaking his head in denial. “You’re wrong, watcher-boy. Buffy knows better than to hook up with another Slayer.” He glanced at Willow and Tara. “Right?”
Willow stared at him in disbelief. “You’re telling me you hadn’t figured it out? Are you blind? It’s been so obvious! With the looks they’ve been giving each other and the sparring and the… did I mention the looks? They’re so doing it!” Tara nodded in agreement.
“But…” Xander’s mouth opened and closed like a fish on land. “You all knew about this? How come no one told me?!”
Willow rolled her eyes. “It’s not like anyone’s told us, either.” She paused. “I haven’t seen Buffy this upset since…”
“William.” Tara nodded. “Poor Buffy. She must feel like it’s happening all over again.”
“Whoa, whoa, hold on!” Xander looked from Willow to Tara. “Buffy loved William. Are you saying she loves Spike?” The two girls just looked at him. He shook his head, as if to clear it. “But… does that mean she’s gonna lose it again? Last time she didn’t speak for a year!”
Willow glared at him. “She’s not gonna lose it!”
“Of course not!” Xander quickly raised his hands in defense. “I just meant…” He hesitated. “If Buffy reacted like that after losing the love of her life, would she survive if it happened again?”
Buffy opened the door and peeked into the small room. Taking a deep breath, she finally stepped inside. She walked over to the hospital bed and sat down, carefully. “Spike?” She swallowed as she noticed how pale he looked and realized how close she had been of losing him.
He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. “Buffy?” He reached out a hand towards her and she took it immediately. “You okay, pet?”
She stared at him in disbelief. “Am I okay?! God, Spike, do you have any idea…?” She stopped, struggling to get her emotions under control and forced a small smile. “The doctor said you’re gonna be just fine. How’re you feeling?”
Spike shrugged and gave her a weak smile, although it came out more like a grimace. “Like I’ve been hit by a bloody truck.” Then he frowned as the memories started to come back. “Drusilla?”
Her smile disappeared. “She’s… still out there. Giles killed the other one.” She paused. “I would’ve gone after her, but Giles stopped me.”
Spike’s eyes widened and his grip on her hand tightened. “Buffy, you can’t do that! She’s too strong. Promise me you’ll stay away from her!”
“What?!” Buffy jumped up from the bed. “If you think for one second that I’m gonna let her get away with this…”
Spike shifted on the bed, the movement causing him to wince in pain. “I mean it, Buffy; I don’t want you anywhere near her.” He gave her a firm look. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Yeah?” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “And how exactly are you planning to do that?” She went on before he could say anything; “Last time you tried to ‘take care of it’, you nearly got yourself killed!”
Spike closed his eyes for a moment. “Buffy…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, luv. I didn’t mean to lie to you before, I just…”
“I know. She made you do it, I don’t blame you.” Buffy swallowed. “Spike…” She hesitated. “Look, I should leave you alone; you need to get some rest.” He opened his mouth to object, but she raised her hand to stop him. “Really, I gotta go. I’m sorry.” She looked down at her feet, not wanting to see the hurt look on his face. Also, she didn’t want him to see the tears in her eyes.
“Right.” Spike nodded, desperately trying not to let his disappointment show. “Don’t know how long they’re gonna keep me here. Are you coming back tomorrow?” For some reason, he was afraid of what her answer would be.
Buffy was quiet for a moment. “Of course.” She hesitated. “Look, maybe we should…” Then she stopped, not wanting to finish the sentence. But she knew it had to be done. “Maybe… maybe we should just take a break for a while.” He just stared at her, and she hurried to add; “I mean, we can still be friends and I’m not saying we have to stop seeing each other completely. But I don’t think I can…” She swallowed. “I can’t be in a relationship. Not again. I’m sorry.” It nearly broke her heart to say those words, but she had to force herself to be strong, even if it meant she would be alone and miserable for the rest of her life. She loved Spike, so much, but she had almost lost him tonight and she couldn’t deal with that kind of pain again. It would kill her.
When he didn’t say anything, she gave him a pleading look. “Please, say something.”
He looked away. “Get out.”
Tears started rolling down her face, but she didn’t notice. “Spike…”
Spike finally turned his head towards her and she could see tears in his eyes as well. He glared at her. “I said, get out! And don’t bother coming back. Just stay the hell away from me.”
A sob escaped her throat and she nodded in defeat. “I’m so sorry…” He didn’t answer, just turned away from her. For a moment Buffy just stood there, not knowing what to do. All she wanted was to crawl into the bed with him and beg him to hold her and never let go. Instead she slowly backed out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her.
TBC