Author's Chapter Notes:
I just realized that since I added this new chapter, this is now the longest story I've written so far. And it's not over yet. :) Thank you Tammy for betaing this story for me and thanks to all of you who are still reading and reviewing!
“Anything else you need, Spike? Cause I’d be happy to… Oh, let me fluff that pillow for you!” The young, smiling nurse batted her long eyelashes and started towards him, eager to get a reason to stay in the room with him a little longer.

Spike rolled his eyes, more annoyed than happy with the unwanted attention. “Oh, for the love of…”

That was how far he got until the blonde woman sat down on the bed next to him, insisting she would stay and keep him company. “I would feel terrible knowing you’d be lying here all alone. Lucky for you, my shift just ended. I can stay here all night!” She gave him a bright smile.

Spike’s eyes widened. “Um, I really don’t think…”

“Look, Spike…” She giggled a little and ran her fingers through her long hair. “That’s a really interesting name, by the way. My name is Harmony. But I won’t mind if you’d address me as Nurse Kendall.” She paused, giving him a flirtatious smile. “In fact, I think I prefer it. You know, ‘cause that way I could be the naughty nurse, and you could be my…”

“Excuse me! Am I interrupting something?” Buffy was standing in the doorway, not looking happy at all.

Harmony glared at the unwanted visitor, obviously upset at the interruption. “You know, visiting hours are over. You should leave at once; you don’t want Doctor Backer to find you in here.”

Buffy ignored her and stepped into the room. “Spike, we need to talk.”

If Spike was surprised to see her, he didn’t let it show. “Do we now?”

“Well, yes.” Buffy got an uncertain look on her face, then glanced at Harmony. “Do you mind?” Harmony remained where she was; on the bed, and Buffy had to resist the urge to simply walk over to her and wipe that flirty smile off her face. That skanky ho-bag was sitting way to close to Spike and it made Buffy see red. How dared that bitch practically throw herself at her man?!

Harmony gave Spike a sweet smile. “Do you want me to call security, blondiebear?”

Spike cringed at the ridiculous nickname, but kept his eyes on Buffy. “No, that won’t be necessary. You can go now.”

Harmony’s face fell. “But…”

“I said, you can go.” Spike gave her a warning look.

“Fine!” Harmony glared at him. “If that’s the way you want it, I’ll just go!” Buffy raised a brow, suddenly looking almost amused. Spike just looked annoyed. Jumping off the bed, Harmony angrily hurried towards the door. Before she left, she turned around to look at him one more time. “You’ve had your chance. When you’ll start feeling bad for how you treated me just now and wish you hadn’t sent me away, I probably won’t come back!” Then she spun around again and left the room.

Spike shook his head in disbelief, then slumped back down on the bed. Buffy slowly walked over to him, glancing over her shoulder. “They actually let just anyone work here, don’t they? A brain’s obviously not even required.” She chuckled a little, then became serious. “Spike…”

“What are you doing here?” He gave her a cold look.

Buffy frowned. “I told you, we need to talk. Isn’t that why you got rid of her? So we could…” She hesitated before finishing, weakly; “…you know… talk.”

“Been looking for a reason to get rid of that bint for more than an hour.” Spike looked away.

Swallowing, Buffy stopped, a few feet away from the bed. “Look, I’m really sorry about…”

“Don’t!” Spike glared at her. “You’ve made your decision; you want nothing to do with me. I really don’t need you to come back here and rub my face in it.”

“No, that’s not why…!” Buffy took a deep breath, determined not to start crying again. She had expected Spike to be angry at her, but she hadn’t been prepared for how much it would actually hurt. “Spike, I didn’t want to break up with you before.”

He just snorted. “Funny, could’ve fooled me.”

“I was just scared!” Buffy choked back a sob. “You have to understand…”

“Actually, I don’t.” Spike interrupted her. “This is all about you, isn’t it? I don’t know why you came back here, but I don’t bloody care anymore. You can’t just whack me back and forth like a rubber ball, expecting me to still be there every single time. You keep playing with my feelings and then expect me to just forgive you, but guess what? I’ve had enough!”

“But I didn’t mean to, I just…” Buffy hesitated. “If you’d just listen to me… I do know what I want. I want you.” And she meant it; she had never been so sure about anything in her entire life. Suddenly she couldn’t understand that she had been so afraid of getting hurt again that she was actually willing to let this man go. Giles was right; if you were too afraid of taking chances in life, you weren’t really living at all. And she hadn’t been living, she knew that now. Not for the last three years, anyway. God, how she wanted to start living again!

Spike stared at her in disbelief. “Really? And you figured that out just about an hour after you so tactfully… what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh, right. Dumped me!”

“I’m sorry!” Buffy angrily wiped away a tear. “I know I was selfish and cruel and… and stupid. Please, just give me a chance to explain!”

He shook his head. “Bit too late for that. Nothing you could say now would make a difference. Just leave, will ya? And have a nice life.” He rolled over, so he was facing away from her.

Buffy was silent for almost a minute. A part of her wanted to demand him to listen to her. But something told her that it was probably not a good idea. Then she considered just leaving. But for some reason, her feet wouldn’t let her walk away. She decided to give it one more try. “Spike, I love you.” The words were out of her mouth before she had realized she had spoken them, and her eyes widened. She knew it was the truth, but she had never expected to be able to say it so easily. Now she just waited for his reaction.

“What?!” He struggled to sit up; glaring at her as he finally faced her. “Why are you saying that?”

“Why?!” Buffy suddenly got angry. Didn’t he realize what saying those words meant to her? “Why do you think? Because it’s true!”

Spike was quiet for a moment. “Is that so? And what do you want me to say to that?”

“Please, say that you’ll listen to what I have to say.” Buffy gave him a pleading look, and when she went on, her voice was barely more than a whisper; “You do still love me, don’t you?”

Spike watched her, thoughtfully, then let out a tired sigh. “What if I said no?”


TBC





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