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“Buffy?” he asked in confusion, looking down at the woman he’d just fucked five ways to Sunday.

“Hi, I’m Liz!” she said with a small wave.

***

“I’d have introduced you to each other, but I think you’ve already done that,” Buffy said with a laugh. Spike stared down at Liz, his brain rapidly trying to make sense of the situation. There were two of her. Of them. They were...

They were twins.

Someone was trying to kill him. He felt movement and looked down, where Liz was currently squirming uncomfortably and he was still, er, 'hanging out.'

“I…uh…I don’t…”

“You mind letting me up?” Liz asked innocently. She smothered a laugh at the panic flooding over his face. Boys were so EASY. “Or you could tell me your name. What ever is easiest for you.” Buffy suppressed her laugh. Poor Spike. He wasn’t even close to ready for this. Not by a long shot.

“Spike, pull your pants up and get off my sister!” Buffy snapped with an eye roll and a shared Look with her twin. Men. Buffy’s apparent anger fit in with Spike’s idea of what should be going on in this situation, so he scrambled up, fastening his jeans with trembling fingers as Liz calmly slipped back into her robe and ran her fingers through her terminally tangled hair. She was going to have to take another shower with lots of conditioner. And maybe an extra pair of hands. Or two.

Spike finished snapping his jeans, taking an extra moment to make sure that everything was tucked away and contained. When he looked up, he found himself standing between two green-eyed, beautiful women. Who were looking at him expectantly. As if he was supposed to speak now. Say something meaningful, that would put this entire situation to rights.

“I didn’t…I mean, this was…I’m sorry?” he managed to splutter, feeling his face heating up. The sisters only managed to keep it together for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. When she'd managed to contain herself, Liz sauntered up to the completely befuddled and confused Spike, pecking him on the cheek and patting him on the ass.

“Poor, confused baby. Come on, we’ll make you a cup of coffee,” she said, laughter in her voice. She took one hand, while Buffy stepped in to take his other, and led him into the kitchen. Spike had just enough brain cells functioning to follow.

***

Spike sat and drank his coffee, occasionally glancing at the two women sitting in front of him. The were…staring. Expectantly, again. Expecting what? They didn’t appear to be mad at one another, which was really weird. And they weren't mad at HIM, which just...broke every rule of dating and human relationships that had ever been written. Which just wasn't fair. And while he’d never accidentally slept with anyone thinking they were someone else before, he was pretty sure this wasn’t the average response. There they went again, exchanging that knowing look that made their lips quirk, like there was some joke he hadn't been in on, and taking sips of their coffee at the same time. It was kind of scary, watching them mirror one another. What had he gotten himself into?

Buffy and Liz had another silent conversation while Spike was staring mournfully into his cup of coffee. Liz’s look said, Really? Another pretty-but-dense one? Buffy’s look asked her to bear with him. Liz huffed and turned back to studying this Spike character. She blushed when their eyes met, her temperature rising and heart fluttering. What was it about this guy that made her feel all…twitterpated? And horny, mustn't forget horny.

Spike blushed as he met Liz’s eyes, quickly fastening his gaze to the table top; these women had stripped him of his confidence and reduced him to William with just their looks. This was beyond mortifying. This was worse than the one time his Da had given him ‘the talk’—after the fact. Really, who slept with the wrong twin?! Basically, what it boiled down to, was he had to make his apologies, assure them he knew he was completely to blame for everything, and walk away from the two most perfect women he’d ever met with his tail between his legs. Great. How does one start an “I’m the biggest ass who’s ever lived” conversation?

“This is getting ridiculous,” Buffy groaned, throwing her head back in annoyance. Her chair gave a loud thump as she let it fall back to the ground. Spike was staring at her, and Liz was shaking her head. “We’re not mad at you,” she told Spike evenly. He gaped at her, trying to get his mind to work. Liz rolled her eyes at Buffy’s impatience. The girl just did not know how to milk a situation.

“I…well, I got that,” Spike finally managed to get out. “I just don’t get why you’re not mad?” Buffy and Liz Looked at each other again.

“Does that bother you?” Liz asked without looking at Spike. Spike opened his mouth to reply, but found he had nothing to say. DID it bother him? He thought about it for a minute. Then he thought about it again. And the answer was no. HELL no. It just bothered him that he might have forced Liz into a…a sexual encounter that she didn’t want. He didn’t even want to touch the R-word, he couldn’t deal with that. When he pulled his attention back to the two lovely ladies, they were both looking at him.

“It…no, not really. I…” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. Stupid women, getting him all tongue tied. He wasn’t like this! He was good with women, never had these types of problems. “I’m just concerned that-that Liz might—“

“You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do,” Liz interrupted firmly. So maybe Buffy wasn’t the only one blessed with impatience. “And for the record, before this even becomes an issue, I did try to tell you I wasn’t Buffy.” Spike didn’t have anything to say to that. He really didn’t have anything to say to this entire surreal situation.

“Ok. But…sure. So why aren’t you upset?” Spike swallowed when he was suddenly fixed with two very seductive pairs of eyes.

“Want us to show you?” Buffy purred. Spike could only stare as she got up and sashayed—yep, that was definitely textbook sashaying—around the table. Oh, NO WAY!

“Think he’s…*up* for it?” Liz asked skeptically, looking him up and down. Spike felt the urge to prove her absolutely, irrevocably wrong on every count of anything, starting with her apparent lack of respect for his stamina. Which she had already had a damn good demonstration of if he did say so himself! He leaned back, curling his tongue seductively behind his teeth and leveling one of his devastating smirks at them.

“I think he's a little...cocky,” Buffy said, leaning into her sister's space. Spike arched a curious eyebrow. Liz smirked at him, a truly lascivious look that had Spike Jr. taking notice.

“He thinks he could keep up. It's cute.” Spike spluttered in indignation. He was NOT. CUTE. Hot, devilishly handsome, gorgeous, hell, he'd even accept God-like Adonis. But cute?

“I think we've insulted his manly pride,” Liz teased.

Spike gaped, trying to figure out why he was letting these women narrate his life (or at least their version of his life) without interrupting.

“Poor baby. I suppose we could make it up to him...” Spike's jaw dropped in amazement as he watched the two most beautiful women he'd ever seen kiss. This was just...not happening. He was going to wake up in two seconds and this will have never been. They were really kissing! What...what in the...Bloody. Hell.

Liz glanced over to see Spike's eyes glazed and unseeing, staring at them but not AT them. She giggled at his reaction. Buffy turned and rolled her eyes at the man. Only enough blood to run one brain at a time.

“At least we know he's up for it,” Liz whispered in her sister's ear. Buffy grinned broadly, a laugh escaping her lips. She glanced over at Spike, only to see him still zoned out.

“I think we broke him,” Buffy announced. That seemed to snap Spike out of it. With a growl that had Liz and Buffy looking startled (and a little hungry), he glided around the table and swept Buffy into his arms. With another low growl, he plundered her mouth. To be frank, he kissed the hell out of her. He ended the kiss and guided her, dazed and flummoxed, into a chair. His smoldering eyes turned to Liz, who gulped. Audibly.

“You shouldn't tease manly men, little girl.” And then he kissed the stuffin' out of her. Liz was quite sure she'd never been kissed quite like that before. But she definitely hoped to again. Spike pulled back to survey his work. He much preferred those green eyes glazed and confused over conniving and debating. “I think I broke them,” he said smugly, to no one in particular.

A/N: So, I've started my super intensive grad program. Holy Crap. Ergo, I'm not 100% sure when I'll be able to update...anything. Or have time to write. I hope you're alright with where I've left Twinnings. I honestly have no idea where I'd take the rest of the story, but if inspiration hits, it hits. And if any of you have any idea where it should go, I'm all ears.

Oh, and happy birthday Ochit! :)





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