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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry about the shortness...don't worry. After finals it'll get better..
Chapter 11

Cold...She'd forgotten how cold ocean water got. She hadn't swam in the ocean since she was 16. She was freezing her ass off at the moment.

Oh well, it was worth it, Buffy thought determinedly. She knew she made the right decision in jumping off the godforsaken boat.

Things did not go how she planned. She knew she should have never agreed to that stupid boating trip. She should have just finished packing her things and left quietly. She should have stayed as far from the Giles as possible.

Upon reaching the marina, Buffy realized she didn't have a way home- Angel had picked her up after he got done grocery shopping.

Crap...

Wet, alone, and cold, Buffy started her long walk home, her shoes making a very unsatisfying squish with every step she took. The tips of her hair curled in wet tendrils as she sighed softly, trying to squeeze as much water out of her shirt as possible. Tears stung her eyes, but she would not allow herself to cry again. She'd cried enough for both Giles men to last her a life time.





"Get in the car."

"What? No!" Buffy replied, not even looking at the car that was slowly following her as she continued walking.

"We have to talk," Spike replied firmly.

"No, we really don't," Buffy said as she struggled to keep her voice just as firm as his was.

"Buffy," a very annoyed sigh slipped from his lips. "Can you please be mature about this, pet?"

That caused Buffy to stop walking and turn towards the car, anger flaring up in her eyes. "Mature? You want me to be mature?" She laughed sarcastically. "Are you kidding me? I've tried to be mature, but you...You just don't..." she sighed deeply. " I can't do this."

"Just let me drive you home, luv, and then you never have to see me again," he pleaded with a tired sigh.

"Is that a promise?" She asked sharply.

His eyes studied her carefully before he responded, "If you want it to be."




They rode in silence, Buffy refusing to even look at Spike. So lost in her own thoughts and her own frustrations, it took a while for Buffy to realize they weren't headed in the direction of her apartment.

"William, what are you doing?" Buffy asked, finally turning away from the window to look at him.

Spike winced briefly at the sound of his given name from her lips before responding, "We have to talk."

"I don't want to talk," she replied stubbornly, her arms crossed and a pout formed on her lips.

"By we, I really just meant me, luv."

"Don't call me luv."

Spike chuckled as he turned on to the freeway.

"Spike...where are you taking me?" she asked him, alarm filling her voice.

"Away."

With an aggravated sigh, Buffy flopped back in her seat. There was nothing she could do aside jumping out the window, which didn't sound to appealing. Neither did sitting in a car with Spike Giles, however.

"How long do you plan on driving?" she said, trying to convey how annoyed she was in that one question.

He turned to face her. His eyes studying her up and down. They finally rested to meet hers.

"I don't know," he replied softly. "How long do you plan on acting like a right bint?"

She huffed, her pout becoming more prominent. She tapped her foot as she gazed down as herself, immediately realizing how childish she was acting. She didn't care though-if they were going to treat he like a child, she sure as hell was going to act like a child.

"If I knew what bint meant, maybe I'd tell you."

Chapter 12
After an hour or so of driving, Buffy finally realized where Spike was planning on taking her. The Cabin. When they were younger, many 4th of Julys and Labor Day weekends were spent with the families at the Giles' cabin up by the lake. She used to love these vacations. All that time with Angel...
Obviously, a younger Buffy spent most of that time vying for Angel's attention. She was idiot then, but not any more. She was determined to not act like that over any guy ever again.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Buffy exclaimed. "There's no way in hell I'm going in there with you. Are you insane? No. Not happening."

"Why not?" Spike asked. "It's the perfect place. Secluded, quiet..."

"Miles away from civilization!"

"Buffy..." Spike sighed. "I just want to talk to you."

"I'm done talking to you!" she screeched.

"Well, we're going to stay there until you hear me out!" he finally lost control and yelled back.

"You can't kidnap me like this...It's illegal and you...you can't..." she trailed off, knowing he could. Her mom would do nothing to stop him. Hell, she probably would support it.

He smirked, knowing that she realized his thought process. "Well, pet, the sooner you talk to me. The sooner we can go home and have a nice family dinner," he joked.

"I'm done," she sighed, suddenly looking very tired. "Don't you get that? I'm done with all of it. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything to do with you anymore!"

Spike was quiet for a long time, his knuckles turning white as he clenched the steering wheel, eyes never leaving the road. As he pulled up to the cabin he asked softly, so softly in fact, she barely heard him. "Do you really mean that?"

"I don't know what I mean any more, William," she replied before quickly hopping out of the car and heading up the stairs toward the room she claimed as her own many years ago.

Once she got there, the first thing she did was tear down all the band posters she had put up when she was younger, when she thought New Kids on the Block was the coolest thing on the planet. And the hottest, she thought with a giggle. She continued to tear up anything and everything she found from her childhood. She wasn't a child any more.



About an hour or so later, Spike knocked softly on her door. "Dinner's ready, pet. Come down and eat with me."

"I'm not hungry!" she called through the door.

"Pet...please come out and eat something," he pleaded desperately.

She roughly opened the door, glaring at him before passing him by and walking downstairs, stomping loudly at every step, the tension coming off her in waves.

"There's not much-just chips and sandwiches-but I figured it would be fine until I go to the grocer's," Spike said in an awkward attempt to break the silence that had ensued in the dinning room.

"Don't trouble yourself by going to the store," Buffy said absent-mindedly, as she picked at her chicken sandwich. "I'll be leaving soon enough any ways."

"Buffy, I can't let you leave," he paused briefly before continuing with a soft smile, "I love you."

Angrily, Buffy slammed her food down. "Are you expecting me to admit I love you as well?"

"Well, I was hoping we-" he began before she interrupted him.

"Am I supposed to fall all over myself trying to make sure you have the perfect little woman now that you have so graciously decided to love me?"

"No, I was hoping we could start all over?" he asked with another unsure smile.

She only glared at him, letting the pain of all the months of his rejection surface. "I won't make a fool over myself for another Giles, or any other man, for that matter."

"You did it for Angel," Spike grumbled defensively.

Buffy's eyes widened incredulously. "You are so... God, I can't even look at you right now. What is wrong with you?"

Promptly, she burst into tears and ran to her room, locking the door behind her. Shutting him out.

Head in his hands, tears slid silently down his eyes as he listened to the anguished sobs of a little lost girl destroying her room. Destroying the safe, secure childhood that was created for her.

His brother did that to her...No, He had done that to her. He only had good intentions. He only wanted what was best for her and Angel. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Now, he couldn't even fix things. She had already shut him out.

Chapter 13
Dearest Buffy,

I don't know what to say to you, or if you'll even read this letter for that matter. I'm going to the grocer's to get food and to your mom's to get you some clothes. I should be back soon. I'll try to hurry-I know you always hated being up here all alone. I never realized how much I knew about you. Until now.


I know this is completely ridiculous, and I can't keep you here forever against your will. I didn't want to kidnap you or force you into anything, but sometimes you can be such a stubborn little chit. Believe me when I say I was at the end of my bleeding rope, and this was a last resort.

I want to work through this because I want to be with you, pet. I don't want to be with anyone else. You are truly the greatest woman I've even known, and I can't imagine my life without you in it. It's hard enough imagining the office without you there.

I know I've been terrible to you. I know I'm a git, and I don't deserve you. Please believe me when I say that I love you, and I just thought I was doing the right thing by Liam and by you. I wanted to help my brother so much that I was willing to do anything to get you two together. I didn't take into account that I could end up falling for you. I was scared.

I've never been in love before. I was always so damn focused on my career. And then you came along. You changed everything. Threw me for a loop. God, I just fell so hard and so fast, but I just wanted my brother to be happy. Family has always been so important to me. I saw you changing him. I thought it was through your love, but it was really through your friendship.

It amazes me what you did with Liam. What you did to me as well. I really do love you. I love you so much it hurts. I love everything about you from the way you smile to your biting wit to the way you try. I love your determination and your strength. You are so beautiful inside and out. I've never met anyone like you.

I hope you can forgive me some how. I hope I didn't permenantly ruin things for us. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted you to be happy so much that I didn't realize I was the one taking away your happiness. I promise if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Will you let me?

Love Always,

William

Buffy read over the letter she found on the kitchen table a third and then a fourth time. She read it over and over until the words blurred and her tears dripped down the paper. She had not been this confused in a long time. William loved her. He was sorry. He wanted her. But what did she want?

For the longest time, Angel Giles was her dream. Everything was focused on him. Her sun did not shine if he was not there, but now she was different. She had just been a girl then.

She was a woman now. A woman very much in love with Spike Giles. Spike, William, had hurt her. By giving him her heart, he could only hurt her more. Her mom had given her dad the same thing and look where that got her. Buffy didn't think she could handle that kind of pain.

But what would she do without Spike? Could she really imagine life without his accent or his smile? Did she want to go through a day without the friendly banter and considerate gestures? Yes, he could hurt her. He could break her heart again, but he could also love her. Would she let him?

She knew deep down in her heart the answer. Now all she had to do was wait. For him.





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