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"Aren't you seeing Darla?" Buffy asked with a sinking feeling. She had to say something, set the record straight, but Angel was studying her with an eager intensity, and, coward that she was, Buffy couldn't make herself do it. "You two seemed to be getting along quite... uh, well, at Jenny's."

"Don't get me wrong, Darla's a sweetheart, but she isn't the one for me," Angel explained. "I want an old-fashioned girl, who values the same things I do and was brought up the same way I was. Someone like you, Buffy."

Buffy didn't doubt for one second that Angel was echoing his father's words. Maybe the woman he described was the right one for him, but Buffy wasn't her. She was about to explain diplomatically that there was already someone in her life - without telling him who - when he spoke again.

"I've got a ton of work waiting for me this morning but my parents asked that we meet later, and I thought the five of us could have lunch together."

"Five?" Buffy asked.

"William will be there, too. How's noon sound?"

"Um..."

"Great." He returned his attention to the papers on his desk. Buffy waited a moment, then got up and went back to the outer office. She felt the blood drain out of her face as she reached her desk and sat down.

"Is Mr. Giles in?" Buffy was so lost in thought, she hadn't been aware of Tara's arrival.

Buffy looked up and nodded.

"But it's barely nine."

"I know," she murmured.

"What's happened to him?" the secretary murmured, unable to disguise her amazement. "Never mind, let's not question it. I'd rather count my blessings. I was about to lose heart with him. I was afraid Spike had given Angel too much slack these past few months."

Buffy managed a weak smile.

"Are you alright? You seem upset about something..." Tara wondered as she brewed a pot of coffee.

"Oh, I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind, is all."

"Oh, well, if you wanna talk sometime, I'm here for you, sweetie."

"I'll remember that... So, how's Dawn?" she asked, hoping to change the subject.

It worked. She half-listened as Tara went on and on about her young lover. The morning passed quickly as they prepared for RJ's trial, slated to begin the following day. The trial had the potential to affect the outcome of education in school districts across the country, at least Buffy believed so.

Close to noon, Angel emerged from his office, and, with a warm smile to Buffy, said to his secretary, "I'm going to steal this beauty from you for a couple of hours."

Tara nodded with a smile. "Have fun."

Buffy reached for her purse and stood, hoping this lunch would afford her a few minutes alone with Spike so they could talk. She desperately needed to discuss things with him, to explain what had happened and to get his help. She didn't want to date Angel, she just didn't know how to say so. He's already been through so much...

To Buffy's disappointment, the opportunity never arose. The three of them met Jenny and Rupert at the Sunnydale Suite, a fancy, local hotel. The meal was pleasant and cordial, and everyone seemed to be in a good mood - with the exception of Spike, who practically ignored Buffy. She might as well have been invisible for all the attention he paid her.

She decided to make an effort to let her feelings for the older Giles son be known, so she waited for a lull in the conversation.

"Spike and I went out to that carnival at the beach recently," she announced brightly after their salads were served. Jenny and Rupert exchanged meaningful glances.

"From here on out, Angel will be the one taking you to the beach, isn't that right, little brother?"

"You should have said something earlier, Buff," Angel said, picking up on Spike's cue. "I love that carnival. We'll make a point of going there sometime, all right? As soon as RJ's trial is over."

"All right," Buffy agreed, her heart in her throat. She looked to Spike, who was busy eating his salad. From all outward appearances, it made no difference to him whom she dated. Apparently the idea of Angel holding her close while they rode on the roller coaster didn't trouble him. Not at all.

Buffy knew that life was often filled with ironic twists such as this, but why did hers have to be so frustrating? She was pretty sure Angel's father had put the idea of dating her into his son's head. And why not? It was well-known she'd once had a crush on Angel. And their families were so close. She was the logical choice, and the fact that she now worked for Angel made it all the more convenient.

The younger Giles hoped to get on with his live and prove he was over a painful relationship. What better way to start than with a woman who'd once had stars in her eyes for him?

Except that those stars now shone for someone else. His older brother. A man who seemed determined to do the noble thing and step aside for his brother.

For the first time in months, since Faith left him Buffy guessed, Angel had revealed a willingness to put the past behind him and get on with his life. And Spike believed she was the reason he had. So he would do nothing to change that - even if he did love her himself.

Every day for the next week, the Giles name turned up in all the media. The television and radio stations followed the trial, and each afternoon the newspaper carried an account of what had happened in the courtroom. Buffy met RJ for the first time in the courtroom and was impressed with the young man's sincerity. He wasn't looking to cripple the school system with a huge monetary settlement; instead, he sought changes that would help other athletes. Angel had arranged for a private tutor for the young man. RJ hoped to return to college within a year and work toward a degree in education. His goal was to teach high school students himself.

The more she learned about Angel's generosity to RJ, the more impressed she was with the lawyer's generous heart. RJ had been cheated out of his education, and Angel had made it his mission to make sure this didn't happen to future generations.

On Friday the jury convened. Buffy returned to the office, preferring not to wait at the courthouse for the outcome of the trial. Angel had built a strong case and she was confident RJ would win his suit, but waiting for the jury's verdict was agony.

The office buzzed with activity, the way it generally did in the afternoons. There was the hum of computers, fax machines, and photocopiers, and messengers zigzagged from one room to the next, crowding the hallways. The whole place was filled with an air of expectancy.

Buffy sat down at her desk with a triumphant plop. This had been an incredibly hectic week. As soon as she got home, she was going to soak in a hot tub and curl up with a good book. Sleeping until noon the next day held irresistible appeal.

Tara had left on an errand and Buffy had just slumped down in her chair when Spike strolled into the office. He stopped abruptly when he saw she was alone.

Buffy froze, her breath trapped in her lungs.

"Hello, Buffy," he said stiffly.

"Hel-Hi," she managed.

"Where's Tara?" he asked, recovering first. He was brisk and businesslike, as if he'd never held her in his arms, as if she'd never been more to him than a friend, and a casual one at that.

"Off on an errand," she answered, then added, "The jury's still out."

"So I hear." He walked over to Tara's desk and set a stack of papers in the secretary's in-basket. Then he turned abruptly and strode out of the room.

Hurt and angry, Buffy wanted to shout at him to come back. In all the years she'd known him, he'd never been so short with her. He'd sliced her out of his life without a second thought, and apparently without a single regret.

About an hour later, Angel burst into the office. He paused just inside the doorway, threw back his head and released a yell loud enough to sway light fixtures.

"We did it!"

Startled, Buffy looked up from her desk. She stood to offer him her congratulations, and Angel rushed to her, lifting her high of the ground and whirling her around. "We won!" he shouted.

"Angel!" She laughed, bracing her hands on his shoulders. He was spinning so fast she was getting dizzy.

His cries of jubilation had attracted the attention of others in the office, but Angel didn't show any signs of releasing her. He set her back down on the ground and, looping his arm around her shoulders, kept her close to his side. Words of congratulations were enthusiastically offered.

"I couldn't have done it without Buffy," he announced to the gathering. "Her researching was invaluable. William, too," Angel said, holding his free arm out to his brother. "A man couldn't ask for a better brother."

Buffy was looking at Spike, and whether he'd intended it or not - she suspected he hadn't - their eyes met. His guard had lowered, and his expression was one of such emotional intensity that nothing could have pulled her gaze from his. In him she read pride, loyalty, and devotion. In him she saw that there was nothing on this earth he would do or say to hurt his brother, even at the sacrifice of his own happiness.

Tears clouded her vision. Gazing into the faces of those around her, she forced herself to smile and look as though this was the happiest moment of her life, when on the inside, she'd never felt more miserable.

Angel insisted on taking her to dinner that night to celebrate. He chose a restaurant well known for its superb food and service, and Buffy knew when they were seated that she was the envy of every woman there. Angel had never looked more handsome or been more charming.

They were leaving the restaurant, waiting for the valet to bring around Angel's car, when a news photographer stopped them and took their picture. Buffy protested, but Angel told her that this was the price of fame and she might as well smile.



The next morning, Buffy's mother phoned before she'd had a chance to awake, and hours before she'd intended to. She was extremely depressed, and sleep was the perfect escape.

"Buffy, have you seen it?" Joyce demanded, her voice raised with excitement. "I've already called the newspaper and am having them make copies for Jenny and me. You both look fabulous."

"Seen what, Mom?" was the groggy reply.

"The newspaper, sweetheart. There's a picture of you and Angel on the society paper with a nice little write-up. In case you didn't see it, your name was mentioned in the gossip column, too, on Thursday, linking you with Angel. Oh, honey, I'm so pleased."

"Oh, crumbs," Buffy whispered, her mind clouded with exhaustion. "I remember now. The photographer stopped us last night."

"Yes, I know, that's what I've been trying to tell you. The picture's in this morning's paper. I'm thrilled, and so is your father... not to mention Jenny and Rupert."

Buffy was anything but thrilled. "It's only a picture, Mom."

"It's more than that, Buffy. It's a dream come true for you, and for me, too. You've always felt so strongly about Angel and now, after all these years, he feels the same way about you."

"Mom, you don't understand. Angel and I-"

"You don't know how happy Jenny and I are. We realize it's much too soon to be making wedding plans, but it's the sort of thing good friends love to do when their children are dating. You're our only daughter, and I can tell you right now this will be the gala event of the year. Your father and I insist."

She only paused long enough to take a breath, then rushed on.

"We'd be so very pleased if you and Angel decided to have an autumn wedding. Jenny has been my friend for so many years, and to think that someday we might share grandchildren! It does both our hearts good."

Buffy rubbed a hand over her eyes, repressing the urge to weep. "Mom..."

"I don't mean to pressure you."

"I know you don't, but-"

"Good. I'm sorry I woke you, darling. I should have realized you'd be exhausted after this last week. Go back to sleep. We'll talk later."

Sleep... yea right... Sleep was impossible now. Buffy padded barefoot into the kitchen and made coffee, standing at the counter until the liquid had drained into the glass pot. Then she poured herself a mug, and, cradling it in both hands, sat at her kitchen table. Balancing her feet against the edge of the chair, her knee propped up under her chin, she waited until the coffee had cooled enough for a first sip. It did little to revive her sagging spirits, settling unsatisfactorily in the pit of her stomach while she mulled over what she was going to do.

Already it had started, already she could feel the ropes tightening around her heart, binding her. She felt imprisoned by what everyone believed was right for her, what everyone believed she wanted herself, when in reality she wanted, loved Spike, not Angel.

The next thing she knew, Cordy came storming into her apartment, cell phone poised at her ear in one hand, The Sunnydale Times in the other.

"What the hell's going on?" Cordy demanded, sounding full of righteous indignation.

"No, not you, Willow," she said into the phone. "I'm at that floozy's house right now... Yes one of us will call later... Love you bunches. Ta." She finished her call in the most pleasant manner before turning to Buffy.

"So, I picked up the paper this morning... And there's your bright smiling face to greet me," Cordy said in her most "irritated bitch" voice, slamming the paper in front of Buffy.

"So I hear," she muttered.

"But there seems to be something wrong with this picture, though. You're with the wrong brother. Now how could that have possibly happened?" Cordy continued in a patronizing, motherly tone.

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

Buffy sighed. "It's a long story."

"Well, then. Give me the 'Devon's attention-span' version of it."

She sighed again. "Angel's decided to move his butt on-"

"That's good. About dang time."

"Only he isn't doing it for himself," Buffy explained. "His family's really worried and unknowingly pressuring him, so Angel's making an effort to smile and put on a happy face."

"By dating you."

"Seems that way."

"I know all about feeling pressured by family and if he's only moving on for their reasons instead of his own, he's going to end up flat on his ass," Cordy said impatiently. "Now stop all this bull shit and tell me why you were gallivanting around with Angel instead of Spike."

A simple explanation was beyond Buffy. This was the most complicated misadventure of her life, and she had had her share of them. "You were wrong, Cor," she said miserably. "Spike isn't nearly as fond of me as you assumed. Clearly you've made an ass out of you and me. Otherwise he would have said something long before now."

Cordy groaned. "All right, I can see this tale of woe isn't something you're gonna be able to abbreviate. Start at the beginning and be sure you tell me everything," she sighed, pouring herself a cup of coffee before she sat down.

To her credit, Cordy listened attentively to the events of the week, all that had happened since Buffy's conversation with Angel on Monday morning. When Buffy finished, Cordy was uncharacteristically silent.

"I see what you mean," she said finally, staring at her mug. "Spike's caught between a rock and a hard place - but he's crazy about you, Buff. My instincts told me, that day we had lunch."

"Clearly he's not crazy enough," Buffy closed her eyes briefly to the sharp pain the thought produced.

"Wrong," Cordy corrected defensively, looking up to meet Buffy's eyes. "Spike's got this whole family values thing and junk that's so strong that he'd sacrifice his own happiness. That's not loving you too little, my dear Buffy, that's loving you - and Angel - too damn much."




Angel arrived to pick Buffy up early the next day.

"I can't get over what a beauty you grew up to be," Angel said sincerely as he gave her a soft kiss on the cheek.

Buffy smiled and said, "Me either."

Angel's sports car was parked right in front of her building. He held open the door for her and helped her inside. They chatted amiably on the ride to his parents' estate, which is where the Education for Athletes fundraiser, inspired by RJ, was to be held.

Buffy was determined to find a chance to talk to Spike, to tell him how she felt. He couldn't avoid her forever. She wouldn't let him.

Everyone was busy with one last minute task or another. Buffy helped where she could, keeping an eye out for Spike.

She was busy lighting the few candles that had been blown out when she first saw him. He was talking to an older woman and happened to look Buffy's way. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments before he quickly averted his gaze. Buffy swallowed the pain that constrict her throat.

After the food had been served, Rupert Giles strolled up to Buffy. He hugged her and thanked her for all the help.

"You've grown into a beautiful young woman, Buffy." His voice practically echoing his youngest son's.

"Thank you. I don't know if I've had the chance to tell you how much this fundraiser has meant to RJ. He told me to tell you he appreciated it and that he wished he could be here but his mother was sick."

"I wish I'd realized the problem sooner. Jenny and I hope to get the community involved and such, but it'll be a lot of hard work."

"This is exactly what the school district needs - people showing support for education over athletics," Buffy said sincerely.

"Your confidence means a lot to Jenny and I. I've been doing some hard thinking along those lines myself. About how you're exactly what my son needs."

"Excuse me?"

"You and Liam."

Buffy didn't know what to say. She should have explained then and there that it was Spike she loved, but her throat went dry and her tongue seemed glued to the roof of her mouth.

"He needs you," Giles repeated.

"He's going to be just fine, Giles. I don't think you should worry about him."

Rupert's nod was somber. "Jenny and I believe you're responsible for that."

The taste of panic filled her mouth. "Now, don't be so hasty, Giles. I'm not the cause of any better-feelingness. Really I'm not-"

"Nonsense. You have to learn how to accept a compliment, young lady… I just wanted to thank you, my dear, for helping Angel."

"But I haven't - well, I mean I did with the case and all, but not anywhere else."

"Nonsense," Giles said sternly. "You've made all the difference in the world to my son these last few weeks. I'd told William that you and I had talked and you'd be coming in for an interview. His decision to hire you was brilliant. I couldn't have thought anything better for Angel myself."

"I have a lot to thank Spike for," Buffy said, so softly she doubted Giles heard her.

"Ah, here you are," Angel declared, coming up behind them. "Don't tell me my own father is stealing away my favorite girl."

Giles chuckled. "Not likely, son. I have my own beauty to attend to. You two go enjoy yourselves now. You've both worked hard all afternoon. Take a break, sneak away, and go have some fun."

"But your speech…" Buffy protested.

"Pfft. You can hear me speak any day of the week. Now, go - be kids!"

Angel reached for her hand, and they walked along the outskirts of the large yard, away from the gathering crowd of people. Angel seemed troubled, standing silently in front of her for a few moments before speaking, "Do you mind if we take a few minutes to talk?"

"I'd like that." She smiled softly as her heart swelled with relief. What they needed was some honesty. She stopped and leaned against the trunk of a tree. They were partially hidden from view, and the privacy was welcome.

"I feel that you and I aren't connecting, Buffy."

Way to take advantage of the ever popular "I feel" statements… "I know." She thought about her mother and all her talk about a wedding and grandchildren. Her mind drifted back to the conversation she'd had with Giles. Everything had gone way too far.

"I've wanted to talk to you all week, but it's been so crazy… Do you realize we haven't even kissed?"

"I… I've always been fond of you, Angel, but I think it's only fair for you to know-"

"'Fond' is such a weak word," he interrupted, frowning.

She didn't want to walk all over his already bruised ego. "I know, but-"

All words were lost to her as he lowered his mouth to hers. It was a gentle kiss, undemanding and tender. Nice as far as kisses go, but Buffy felt nothing, except the increasing urge to cry. How could she feel anything for Angel when she cared so deeply for Spike? When she loved Spike?

Angel lifted his head from hers and gazed down at her, his eyes now dark and unreadable. He studied her for a moment. "I won't pressure you, Buffy. We'll give this time." He brushed a stray curl from her cheek and kissed her there, his lips warm and moist against her face.

It was then that Buffy saw Spike. He was standing on the edge of the crowd that had gathered to hear the speech. His eyes were on Buffy and Angel. When he realized she'd seen him, he turned and walked away, steps brisk and hurried as though he couldn't move fast enough.

For one wild moment, Buffy considered running after him, but Angel had put one arm possessively around her shoulders and was leading her back to the crowd.

It was too late.





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