She had thought she’d feel differently now—better. She’d thought if maybe she evened the score that she’d be able to handle what she’d discovered earlier that day.
It hadn’t made it any easier. If anything, she felt worse now. She’d experienced what was hands down the best sex of her life, and then the man had thrown her out without explanation. He hadn’t even given her his name—or asked hers for that matter. She’d gone looking for a one-night stand, but she saw now that she hadn’t been thinking clearly, hadn’t taken the time to really think about that plan.
She supposed it shouldn’t make her feel bad that she’d been used. After all, she’d only been using him.
“Where were you?”
Buffy looked up sharply, the figure of her husband in the doorway seeming large and imposing. “I went out,” she snapped, the reason why she’d felt the need to have a one night stand in the first place now front and center in her mind.
Riley Finn moved towards her and grabbed her arm, inspecting her with a dark look in his eyes. “You’ve got a hickey.”
Buffy reached up with her free hand and ran it over her neck. Did she? She didn’t even remember… She snatched her arm away from Riley. “At least I didn’t have to pay for it.”
Riley gaped, staring at her for a moment before the denials began. “What are you talking about? I haven’t been…”
“Oh, don’t even try to lie about it, Riley. I know all about what you’ve been doing.” Buffy marched over to the desk at the far side of the room before pulling it open and throwing a stack of black and white photos on the table for Riley to see. “These came in the mail today.” She shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “Am I that bad, huh? Am I so unsatisfying for you that you have to go out and find hookers to scratch your itch?”
It took only a moment from Riley to switch tactics from denying it all to being defensive. “So what, you needed to fix your bruised ego by fucking around on me?” He glanced down at the pictures, the evidence in front of him making it impossible to deny his indiscretions, so he tried to turn the focus on hers instead. “I made a mistake, Buffy. And I’m sorry. Ever since it happened, I’ve regretted it, and I’ve tried to be a better husband, but this…” Riley shook his head. “You just did this to hurt me.”
Buffy felt her anger flaring up again and she didn’t fight to keep it in check. “Don’t you dare make this about me. Yes, I wanted to hurt you tonight, Riley. But that wasn’t the only reason. I just didn’t think I should have to keep going around unsatisfied while you were getting something on the side. Hardly seemed fair.”
Riley’s jaw dropped, and Buffy had to admit she’d surprised herself by saying that, too. But as the words came out of her mouth, she realized how true they were. While she couldn’t call every sexual encounter of her marriage a bust, she’d certainly had ample opportunities to perfect her faking skills. And even at its best, sex with Riley was nothing like the man she’d met that night. Just thinking about it now made her tingle, and as she reached up to place her hand against the hickey Riley had pointed out, her whole body seemed to throb.
She’d never experienced anything like that before. He’d caused her to lose herself in a sea of pleasure, forget that she was there because she was hurting. He’d made her forget she’d ever hurt in her life at all.
Memories drifted through her mind, flashes of his face, his eyes. The raw need, the pleasure. Just thinking about it now could almost make her…
“Buffy? Are you even listening to me?”
Buffy blinked. “Huh? Oh, sorry. I zoned.”
“You zoned? You come home this late after sleeping with another man and then you can’t even…”
“I’m going to bed. I’m tired,” Buffy replied, cutting Riley off.
Without another word, Buffy walked off towards the bedroom, images of her lover of the night filling her mind again.
Buffy lay on the tile floor of the bathroom, wondering what had actually possessed her to drink that much the night before. She hurt everywhere, and her stomach was continuing to roll over despite the fact she was pretty sure she’d just vomited up everything she’d eaten that year.
The bathroom door opened and the shadow of her husband loomed over her. “This is what you get for acting the way you did, Buffy,” he said sternly. “No matter what you may think I did, you had no right to cheat on me.”
Buffy looked up, immediately regretting lifting her head off the cool, soothing tile. “Fuck you.”
“I can’t believe you’re treating me this way.”
If her head hadn’t currently been filled with a jackhammer, she would’ve yelled. Instead, she glared up at him from the floor. “You were paying money to screw around on me. There is nothing I could do to you that you wouldn’t deserve right now.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “This isn’t all my fault, Buffy. There’s two people in a marriage, and if we’re having problems…”
“Riley?”
He stopped when she said his name.
“Yeah?”
“Leave before I puke on you. Because I so will.”
Riley’s eyes widened a second before he scooted out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Buffy groaned, reveling in the feel of the tile for a few moments more before she pulled herself up to her feet. The room immediately began to spin, and she leaned forward to brace herself on the edge of the sink, catching sight of her reflection as she did.
God, she looked like hell…
Her hair was wild an unruly – desperately in need of a comb and a gallon of conditioner. Her eyes were ringed with smeared black make up and she was sporting the biggest damn hickey she had ever seen in her life.
She reached up and touched it, her cheeks reddening at the thought of the night before and the man who’d given her more pleasure in one evening than she’d had in five years of marriage.
Five wasted years…
Looking back on it now, Buffy realized she never should’ve married Riley Finn. She’d known that even then, even when she was standing at the altar with him. But she’d wanted so desperately to have some stability back in her life. After getting dumped by the man she was sure she’d be with forever and losing her mother to cancer, she’d been desperate to start over and build a life. Riley had seemed so…stable. Perhaps a bit boring, definitely lacking in passion, but stable.
She knew now, however, that it had never been love.
And when she’d filled out the papers to file for divorce the previous afternoon, she’d felt none of what she’d suspect you should feel when you were giving up on a seven year relationship.
Instead, she only felt relief.
What she’d done the night before had been a bid to get some of her own back, to make sure Riley knew when she threw his ass to the curb that she was not going to be pining. She wanted him to know that Buffy Summers was no pushover.
And even looking back on the night now, she had no regrets. She’d never had a one-night stand before, but she’d wager that one rated pretty high on the scale, even with the sour ending. He’d been absolutely gorgeous and had made her come harder than she’d even known was possible. One night with a man like that was something to be grateful for. And hell, after five years in an only sometimes satisfactory marriage, she deserved it.
Starting to feel better, Buffy opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out her eye make up remover, setting to work on making herself look less like a crazed raccoon. From there, she did the best she could to tame her hair, finally settling on a messy ponytail.
Her head was still throbbing and her stomach was not in its best mood, but she felt better. Liberated.
She walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, her aching head held high.
“I’m filing for divorce and you’re moving out.”
Riley looked up from his seat on the couch, his eyes bugged. “What?”
“You heard me. This marriage is over, and you’re getting out of the house today.”
“You can’t just throw me out. I pay the mortgage, too.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest and stared him down. Why hadn’t she done this years ago again? “Then I guess your boss would just love to hear about your ‘extended lunch breaks’ in motels with hookers.”
Riley turned pale. “You…you wouldn’t.”
“Wanna make a bet? I’ve got pictures, Riley. Time and date stamped. I will walk right into that office and hand them all to him.”
“I…how did you get those anyway?”
Buffy shrugged. “Anonymous letter. I guess you pissed someone off. Forget to tip?”
“They could all be doctored,” Riley attempted, though even he knew how lame it sounded.
Buffy snorted. “Sure. Look, here’s how it’s going to work. I’m going to shower. Then, I’m going to take your credit card and go to the spa. When I come back, you will be gone or I will have a little chat with your boss. Are we perfectly clear on this?”
Riley nodded numbly. Before right then, he wouldn’t have believed Buffy capable of any of this, but between the look in her eyes and what she’d done the night before, he did now. “Yeah…okay.”
“Good.” Buffy turned on her heel and marched back into the bathroom. As soon as she was behind the door again, she giggled. The giggle quickly grew into a full out laugh, and she leaned against the door, laughing until her face hurt.
She knew she was bordering on hysterical, but she didn’t care. She felt as if she were waking up for the first time in years. Since her mother died… No, before. Since Angel had left. Or was it when her father had left? When had she shut down, stopped really living? Had it been all of it combined, taking hit after hit leaving her dazed and lost?
And then once she’d married Riley, she’d had to stay shut down. Otherwise, she’d have to acknowledge how cold, how empty she felt.
She wasn’t empty anymore. Not after last night. Whoever that man had been, he’d set her aflame. He’d reminded her of what it was to feel.
Buffy stripped off her clothes and turned on the shower. She stepped under the spray, sighing with relief as the water ran over her.
She ran her hands down her body, smoothing them over her tan skin. Her fingers rubbed against her thigh, and she looked down when she felt something there, too.
Apparently her neck wasn’t the only place he’d left a hickey… She didn’t even remember him leaving that one, though she assumed it had been when he was eating her out.
At the memory of that, she almost lost her footing in the shower, her entire body flushing. With his tongue alone he’d managed to top every other sexual experience she’d had in her life.
She closed her eyes, pulling up an image of him in her mind. No matter how drunk she’d been the night before, she could still see his face clearly. Those cheekbones and those bluer than blue eyes… She shivered.
Oh yeah, it had been a night to remember – more so than any night of her marriage.
With a smile on her face, Buffy reached for her shower gel.
Thank you so much for all the encouragement I got for the last chapter. It was good to see no one seemed to forget about me after my break from writing and that so many people were ready to read something new from me. :)