Chapter 7 – Doughy Cookies?
Los Angeles
Spike spent hours drinking away his pain in a demon bar in downtown LA. He was still sitting at the bar. His medicine of choice was none other than whiskey. Somehow it seemed to dull the pain and put things into focus for the vampire. Buffy had screwed with his heart enough, granted it was unbeating but still he had a heart. If she was moving on, why shouldn’t he do the same? Ah, the nagging feeling in his gut that told him he loved her and couldn’t move on to anyone new. She was the one for him and he couldn’t get away from that no matter who she moved on to. He held out for some hope that she would come back to him, that she really meant her last words to him.
‘I love you.’
The words rang in his head as if she’d just said them. He could feel a tingle on his hand where her fingers laced through his. His eyes looked down at his hand and realized that the tingle was a trickle of blood. He’d gone into the bathroom in the bar and smashed his hand into the cement wall. The wall didn’t look too damaged, surprisingly, but his hand was a little torn up. It would heal, but he wondered if his heart would.
He ran over their relationship in his mind again as he exited the bar just before sunrise. He went into the tunnels to avoid being caught in the early rays that would soon be coming. They had always brought each other pain rather than comfort. That’s what their relationship was about when she’d come back. It was different when he came back with his soul though. He felt that they were closer then. They never had the chance to figure it out because he’d sacrificed his unlife for the world and her.
LAX
Buffy sat in her seat, waiting for the plane to land at LAX. She tapped her fingers on the arm rests idly. All she wanted was to be off the plane and finding Spike. She hadn’t been able to sleep on the plane because her mind was racing. She kept thinking of him and how he would react to her being in LA for him. Would he be happy? Had he moved on?
It had been a little more than 24 hours since she’d found out that he’d been in Rome and Andrew told him she was dating the Immortal. Of all things that Andrew could say or do, why did he have to say that? Buffy hadn’t even spent the time to figure out why he said it. She didn’t even think it was worth it to be mad at him or to beat him up. It would serve any useful purpose and she had more important thing to do, like getting to LA to straighten things out.
Walking off the plane she made her way through the airport. She got to baggage claim and picked up her checked bags and then went out to grab a taxi. She gave them an address to the Hilton hotel near where she recalled Wolfram & Hart was located. She wanted to be close to the law firm.
She knew now that she’d taken too much time to think about coming to LA in the first place. When she found out that Spike was alive she should have just packed up and left, but she didn’t because she had responsibilities. Buffy didn’t have the luxury of doing what she wanted when she wanted to do it. People, quite often the world, counted on her. She couldn’t make a rash decision like jetting off to see Spike. So, she took a couple of weeks to sort her thoughts out and work through the details of making sure that everything would be ok in Rome when she did leave.
A part of Buffy was quite relieved that everything was set up when she did decide to jet off to Spike. Now she was just worried that she could be too late.
The tunnels
The somewhat drunk vampire wandered around the tunnels. He didn’t want to go back to his empty apartment and he most definitely did not want to go to Wolfram & Hart and deal with Angel.
“The poof will only make me feel worse…” he said as his boot went through a puddle of water.
He didn’t notice the water and kept walking. Drowning in self-pity seemed to be one of the things that Spike could do pretty well, but he didn’t think about how pathetic he looked.
No, the only thing he could think about was losing Buffy all over again.
“I have to get ‘er back.”
“How‘m I gonna do that?”
The Hilton Hotel
Buffy walked up to the front desk to purchase a room. “Hello,” she said to the woman working at the front desk.
“How may I help you ma’am?” the woman asked.
“I’d like a room.”
“Let me see what we have available.”
“Thank you,” Buffy said with a smile. She hoped this wouldn’t take long.
“All we have available at the moment are suites. Will that work for you?”
“That will be fine.”
“We have smoking and non-smoking. Which would you like?”
“Non-smoking, please.”
The woman clicked a few buttons and looked up. “And how long will you be staying with us?”
“I don’t know exactly, but more than a few days.” ‘I hope it’s not going to be a quick visit.’ Buffy smiled hopefully.
“Very well,” the woman pressed a few more buttons and looked back up at Buffy, “Cash or credit?”
“Credit,” Buffy said as she handed her the credit card that Giles had given to her for emergencies and missions. ‘This is a mission… and an emergency,’ she thought decidedly.
“Here you go ma’am.” She handed her the key to her room. “You’re in 909. The bell boy will take your things up for you.”
“Thank you.” Buffy said with another smile as she took the key and turned toward the elevators. The bell boy came and took her get her things to the elevator.
She was quiet in the elevator and waited to arrive at the 9th floor. The only sound was the clicking of the light as the elevator moved from one floor to the next. Then there was the ding as they arrived on the 9th. The bell boy didn’t say anything as he took her bags to her room. Buffy unlocked it with the card key and walked into the suite. It was big and very nice, definitely more lavish than she was used to. The bell boy moved past her to set her bags in the room and then waited by the door. She turned to look at him for a second and then got out some money to tip him. “Thank you,” she said kindly. He bowed and closed the door behind him as he left the room.
“Well now, what do I do now that I’m here?” she asked the empty room as she passed through. She stopped at the window that overlooked the city. She opened the sliding glass door and stepped out on her balcony. “Long time no see, huh?” she asked the city. It had been a long time since she’d been back in LA and she was happy to be back. It felt like home.
Buffy took a few minutes to call Giles and let him know that she had arrived safely. Then she called Dawn and did the same. It was 9 in LA, so it was about 5 in Rome. She didn’t talk to Dawn for long and when she was done she changed into something a little more presentable than her comfy airplane clothes, not that she looked like a hobo in black yoga pants, white tank, and blazer. What she changed into though was more stylish. She now wore a strapless blue top, skinny jeans, and black heels. “This’ll knock ‘em dead –er,” she thought happily. She grabbed her black blazer before going to the bathroom to touch up her make up.
The tunnels
Spike continued to wander around the tunnels, avoiding going home. He didn’t want to go back to an empty apartment yet again. He wanted her to be there. He dreamed of her when he did manage to get to sleep. Most of the time he couldn’t sleep, because she wasn’t there to help him sleep. He missed the feeling of having her close. He wanted her back. The memories of having her close to him those last two nights before he died haunted him.
“Argh! Bloody ‘ell!” he yelled through the tunnel. He was so frustrated with her and himself. More than anything he was frustrated with himself. He would do anything to get her back, but he didn’t even know where to begin. He didn’t know what it would take to get her back.
“That woman turns me into a poof without even bein’ around.” He sighed and walked on through the tunnels. He’d wait until night to come out. Thankful he still had a bottle of Jack, he found a crate and sat down. He leaned against the tunnel wall and drank some more, making sure it would last through the coming hours.
Wolfram & Hart
Buffy didn’t spend much time in her hotel room. There wasn’t much to do there and she didn’t want to waste time in the empty room while she could be trying to find Spike. The last thing Buffy knew about Spike’s whereabouts was that he was with Angel in Rome. So, Buffy assumed that Angel would know something about where she could find him now.
She stood outside of the Wolfram & Hart building in broad daylight and wondered why Angel was working here in the first place. The big building, and what they stood for, gave Buffy the heebie jeebies. After taking in the sight of the huge building she looked forward and walked inside. She had never been here before and she had no idea how to get to Angel, so surprisingly she did the most sensible thing and went to the front desk.
The desk clerk looked at Buffy as she approached. Before Buffy had opened her mouth to ask anything the clerk spoke, “How may I help you?”
“Hi, I’m Buffy Summers. I’d like to see Angel.”
“Miss Summers, it’s nice to have you here,” the woman greeted her. Buffy was surprised that they knew who she was, but she didn’t have time to think much about it. “However, Angel is in a meeting right now. You can wait for him or I can have you meet with someone else.”
‘Someone else…’ Buffy thought. It came to her almost instantly. “Wesley!” She looked at the woman and calmed herself. “Is Mr. Wyndam-Pryce available?”
“Just a moment, please.” The clerk made a few clicks on the computer and looked back up at Buffy. “He is available Miss Summers. Would you like me to call him to let him know that you are coming up?”
Buffy thought about that for a second before saying, “No, I think I’ll surprise him. Can you tell me how to get to his office?”
“Yes, I can do that. Just take the elevator right over there,” the clerk pointed to the elevator. “Go up to the 10th floor. There are two floors of offices there. His will be on the first, a left out of the elevator. If you can’t find it Angel’s secretary is there and you can ask her to help you.”
“Thank you.” Buffy walked to the elevator and hit the number 10 button. A few minutes later she arrived to the 10th floor. She walked out and looked around her. The space was amazing. It didn’t look anything like something she would expect them to be working in. She had only seen the humble office where he had first worked, but Willow had told her about the Hyperion. The Hyperion had an old feel to it from the way Willow described it. This place felt new and rich.
She looked to the right and spotted the secretary, a blonde who was apparently talking on the phone and filing her nails. ‘A blonde? Well, that’s nothing new for Angel.’
Then she looked over to her left and saw a few offices. She walked over and peered at the names on the door plates. The second door she came to bore Wesley’s name. She smiled and knocked gently on the partially open door. She waited quietly for a response from the unshaven man sitting at the desk.
“Come in,” Wesley said without looking up to see who it was.
“Is that what you say to everyone who knocks on your door these days?” she asked, walking into the office and stopping a few feet from the desk.
Wesley looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. His eyes were wide with surprise, but he wore a happy expression.
“Buffy! I didn’t expect it to be you.” He stood from the desk and walked over to greet her.
They hugged for a minute and then released. They smiled at one another and Wesley gestured for her to take a seat.
“I’m curious as to why you’re here Buffy, and with no call ahead either.” He looked at her kindly, not wanting to sound defensive.
“Yeah, sorry about not calling. It was a last minute trip and I think it’s better if no one knows I’m her beforehand either, I’d rather be the one to tell th—some people that I’m here.”
“Ah, yes. So, I take it you’re here to see Angel or Spike, maybe even both.”
“You know, Wesley, you’re getting as good at the knowing stuff as Giles,” she said in a slightly playful tone. “You’re right though. I’m here to see both of them, more Spike than Angel, but I need to see Angel first.” She looked at Wesley for a moment and then glanced at her hands clasped in her lap. “Downstairs they told me he was in a meeting, do you know when he’ll be out?”
Wesley looked at her as she spoke, and shook his head at her question. “I’m not sure. I know he’s meeting with some high up clients with Lorne. I know he doesn’t enjoy the meetings and he is sometimes able to slip out early. You can wait in his office if you’d like.”
“You sure he wouldn’t mind me waiting there?” she asked a little dubiously.
“He might, but” Wesley hesitated, “It should be ok considering it’s you. He’ll be happy to see you Buffy, I know that.”
“Yeah, I’m not so sure,” she said quietly as she stood up.
Buffy waited for about half a hour in Angel’s office. She walked around some. The office felt huge, and it was. She stopped to take in the view from the windows as well. That’s where she was standing when he came back. She heard him enter, but she waited until he noticed her before she turned around or said anything.
Angel shut the door to his office as he walked in. He caught a glimpse of a blonde by the window and began to say, “Harm-” when he stopped and realized who it was. “Buffy.” His tone was deep when he said her name.
She turned around and looked at him for the first time in a little less than a year.
“Hi, Angel,” her words were soft.
Buffy stood quietly, waiting for him to respond to her being there in his office. Angel was silent for a few minutes, trying to get his mind around the idea that Buffy was really here and why she would be making an unexpected visit. She’d never come to see him without calling unless something was wrong (i.e. when he came to Sunnydale and stalked her or when Faith was loose).
“Why are you here?” he said in a business cool tone that neither of them expected. He walked over to his desk and sat down behind it.
She wasn’t sure how to begin this conversation. Talking about Spike with Angel was something that needed to be broached carefully. They always got so jealous of one another, especially when it came to her. Slowly she moved to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.
“You were in Rome,” she said it more as a statement than a question. She looked him in the eye, wondering what he would say.
He gazed at her a second before saying, “Yeah, I was there on business and thought I’d stop by to see you. Apparently you were out though.” The last part was tacked on a little coldly.
“I wasn’t there at all. I was in London to see Giles.” she said matter-of-factly. “So, you have no reason to be angry with me, Angel.”
They each stared at the other for a minute before breaking into smiles.
“How’d you know I was there, then?” he asked lightly, but curious all the same.
“Actually… I knew Spike was there first, and then I sensed that you had been there too. However, I’m guessing that the two of you were there together. Andrew told me that he talked to Spike when he came to LA to get Dana.” She began warily, but her tone turned more business-like when she mentioned Andrew.
“Oh. And yes,” was all that he could get out for a minute.
She looked at him curiously, wondering what he was thinking. He’d never been easy to read. Spike on the other hand she didn’t have to read, he usually told her what he was thinking.
“Are you in love with him?” he asked staring at his hands rather than looking at her.
“Angel,” she spoke softly. He knew what was coming. He didn’t want to look up, but he did. Looking into his eyes she spoke candidly. “I am.” A sigh escaped her lips. “I really am.” She smiled, having said it aloud now.
“I don’t know if I’ve really said that aloud since he died.” She looked at Angel seriously, searching his face for the pain that she did not want to see there.
He looked back at her, knowing that she was speaking the truth and somehow coming to terms with it. He was grateful that she was honest with him about it. “What about that cookie-dough speech you gave me back on the Hellmouth?” he asked softly.
A smile curled on her lips at the memory of that speech. “I don’t know if I’m done baking yet.” She broke out into a smile, and let out an almost laugh. “I guess the not knowing would mean that I’m not done, huh?”
“I think you’re the only one that can know that for sure, Buffy, but” he paused looking at her, taking in the sight of the love of his life fully as he braced himself for letting her go to his childe that she was in love with, “yeah, I guess it sounds like you’re not.”
“I just know that I love him, Angel. It took me long enough to realize it, God…” she let out an exasperated sigh, looking up at the ceiling for a second, “I just never let myself realize it. I was too afraid to love again, I think. Every time I let myself love someone I got hurt and in the end I got hurt with Spike too, but I think I hurt him more than I hurt myself.” She closed her eyes, knowing the pain she had caused Spike. Opening them again to look at Angel she realized this was probably his least favorite subject. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking to you about all of this.”
He shook himself from a reverie of staring at her. He had heard her words but they seemed to slide off him at the same time, so he wasn’t angry with her. “No, I guess not. You should be talking to him about all of this.”
“Yeah, I really should.” There was a pause. “Do you know where I can find him?”
“Yes, I know the address for his apartment.” He found a piece of paper on his desk and grabbed a pen and scribbled the address down for her. He stood up and walked around the desk to hand her the piece of paper. “It’s good to see you Buffy, and…” he paused, taking a deep breath, “I hope he makes you happy.”
He was crouched before her chair now. “Thank you, Angel. That means a lot to me.” She smiled kindly and leant forward to kiss his forehead quickly. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon.” She stood up and he followed suit. They embraced one another warmly, as friends and ex-lovers should. Her face was turned against his chest and she closed her eyes for a moment, appreciating what Angel had given to her here today.
Just outside Angel’s office Spike stood, staring through the windowed wall. He could see Angel and he could see him holding the much smaller blonde woman that he knew to be Buffy. He only saw the side of them that showed the back of Buffy and Angel’s heads, so neither knew that he was there, witnessing the moment that passed between them.
Without walking in to find out what was really going on, Spike stormed off.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Somewhat lengthy chapter. Sorry for the long wait for it too. Nearly a month. Yeeps! I've started working on chapter 8. There will be more development for the Spuffy relationship in that chapter and the next few. Thanks for reading. Hope you like it!
Please leave comments/reviews! Thanks!
xoxox - Duchess
Please leave comments/reviews! Thanks!
xoxox - Duchess