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Chapter 18

A good deal of time after Harmony had brought Spike to her home, he finally allowed himself to c*url up on her couch and drift off to sleep. He was emotionally exhausted as well as physically from all his crying. Harmony slipped out of the room after than and went to her own boudoir to change out of her dress. Nothing she owned, she realized, was somber enough to wear in a time of mourning. Not that she was missing Buffy, but seeing Spike in agony like that, left her with a duty to be respectful. She put on a tailored black pantsuit and tied her hair back. The suit was tailored to show her curves and cleavage, but it would have to do. She hadn't seen her reflection for almost four years and for the first time she was glad of it because then she herself began to cry.

It must have been late at night, Buffy reasoned as best she could in her dulled state. Her head felt as it were full of cotton batting, her vision foggy and each step was a grueling effort. She was no better than before, only now instead of feeling as if her skin were on fire, she was sure it must have been -40° outside. It certainly didn't help matters that she was barely clothed. She wandered the backroads and neighborhoods of Sunnydale, unaware of the passing of time.

She was however aware of the cool dew under her feet as she walked across someone's front lawn. Ahead of her she saw a speck of glowing red break through the night. It was the striking of a match.

"Spike!" she gasped to herself, astonished and suddenly full of joy. She tried to run for him, but her limbs were overcome with a heavy lassitude and she could only stagger. The man was gone by the time she reached the spot where she'd first seen him. From the ground she picked up a discarded matchbook.

The Slayer looked up and remembered the house before her, Harmony's brothel. A darkness crept over her then. Had Spike gone inside? To be with her? Her mate had betrayed her. The matchbook seemed hot against her cold hands with the recent brush of the match across the cover. The rose bushes that lined around the perimeter of the house were past their first bloom. The leaves were dry, as were the branches.

Buffy's struck the first match. The leaves caught on fire quickly enough, spitting and crackling the drops of dew that had settled. The flames spread, engulfing a branch, then slowly weeping down until the first bush was beginning to properly burn. She backed away suddenly, the flames licking at her flimsy clothing. She stumbled and fell on to the ground. A displaced panic rose inside Buffy and she scrambled away. She turned back at the end of the walk way to witness the house beginning to burn as the fire spread from bush to bush and up the old wooden frame towards the roof. The entire house would be ablaze in a matter of minutes. Let it burn, let them all burn.

***

Spike was jarred from his sleep with a foreign ache in his guts. It was as if all his senses flared at once and the outside world came to him in one massive assault. His body jolted as he staggered to his feet and he gave a littel cry. The vampire gave his head a shake, vaguely recognizing where he was. It took a few moments, but the horror of what happened earlier in the night returned. He clutched his arms around himself, trying not to cry and scream again. He had to pull himself together and go find Dawn and the others.

It was then he noticed the scent of smoke. He focused himself and walked over to the door, before he even touched it he knew there was danger on the other side, heat. His hand burned on the door knob when he turned it, but he managed and opened it to reveal the front foyer in a spectacular blaze. The walls were black and parts of the ceiling were falling.

The fire was everywhere, having already totally engulfed the front entrance and one side of the house. He was lucky it hadn't spread to where he'd been sleeping and burned him to ash already. There were screams from upstairs as the rest of the household realized what was occurring. Moments later a few of the girls came running down the stairs, followed by their clients. Spike acted instantaneously, covering his face with his jacket and rushing through the flames to them.

"Back up the stairs!!" he ordered,"There's no bloody was we're getting out this way! Get out through the windows!" The girls began to squeal and panic,"You're vampires, grab hold of your guys and bloody fucking jump or you'll go up in smoke! MOVE!!" They reacted and he helped each of them out before going through to check for others. The only one unaccounted for was Harmony.

"HARM!?" he shouted,"Harmony!!?" She never answered, but Spike found her eventually. She was in her bedroom, sitting on the floor.

"Harmony, we have to get out of here." She looked up at him and he was shocked to see that she was crying.

"I can't take it back." They didn't have time for this, but Spike came down to her nonetheless.

"What, pet?"

"I killed alot of people, Spike."

"Yeah, Harm, you did. So have I."

"And what about my mom and dad?"

"Did you kill them too?" She shook her head and sniffled.

"But they must think I ran away, or I'm dead...and...and...how do you live with it?" He sighed, then took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"You just do, accept the pain and the guilt and realize that life can be beautiful, if only for short moments at a time." She nodded and hugged him.

"Spike?"

"Yes?"

"Do I smell smoke?"

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