Buffy awoke slowly, unwillingly. Her limbs felt heavy and tired as she slowly turned over on her side. Then the burning began. Licking its way up her body until it felt like her whole body was on fire. But the fire was pain. She murmured his name and expected him to reach for her, pull her close, kiss her hair – anything. Buffy opened her eyes.
“Buffy?” A loud knocking on the door. “You better get up now, they are waiting for you in the training room.”
It took a second for Buffy to realize who it was that spoke. Not Spike. The door opened and her sister poked her head in. The burning inside her just kept on going.
“Buffy!”
Dawn went over to the bed and looked down at her. “Are you alright?”
Slowly Buffy sat up and nodded. The camisole she wore was sticky and her face wet, she didn’t know if the latter was of tears or sweat.
“Did you have another nightmare?” Dawn sat down beside her. “I thought... I thought that they’d stopped.
“Yeah,” Buffy forced a weak smile. “it’s much better... this was the first dream in... I think I’m gonna take a shower.
She swayed a little as she rose to her feet, but the pain eased a bit. As she stumbled into the bathroom she could feel Dawn’s concerned gaze follow her.
It had been a dream. How was that possible? Still she could clearly imagine his hands on her body, his skin beneath her fingertips – but hadn’t she always been able to do that? Buffy couldn’t remember. She rinsed her hair in cold water and it made the pain fade even more.
She felt... empty, yes that was the word, and filled with a loneliness that she’d never felt before.
As she dried off she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. The woman in it was pale and with dark shadows beneath her eyes. Buffy drew in a deep breath, dropped the towel and stepped forward. So, it had just been a dream. Spike had been gone for months and he wasn’t coming back. Yesterday she had lived her life. So much living that she could manage with him gone. A dream couldn’t take that away.
Buffy blinked. There was something on her neck. Slowly she took another step towards the mirror. A trembling hand lifted her still dripping hair and there it was; A vampire bite, still fresh.
Spike fumbled for a second, searching for the warm body which was supposed to be beside him. Still half asleep he frowned and his eyes shot open. Then the burning began. The demon was howling and his whole body arched. He sat up and pulled a hand through his hair. There was an aching loneliness inside him that made his demon cry out in despair. It set him on fire.
“I had the strangest dream tonight.”
His grandsire looked up with an irritated sigh. “What Spike?”
“I dreamed that I was back two years with Buffy without havin’ a sodding clue about everything that has been happening from there until now. But she did.“
Angel was bending over his papers again and Spike stepped forward and leaned against the table.
“The thing was, that she was from our future and she’d been mourning over my death.”
“Yeah, you know what, Spike? That sound exactly like on of your dreams.”
Spike ignored the interruption.
“I bit her, placed a claim on her and now my body burns.”
Hastily Angel looked up again, frowning. “You dreamed a dream where Buffy let you claim her.”
“Glad you’re following me, mate.”
Spike stood up and put his hands in his pockets, watching the other vampire closely.
“We’ve already talked about this.“ Angel sighed again.
“About Buffy, yeah, but not about... this.”
Their eyes met, neither willing to be the one who looked away.
“But the burning.” The younger said. “Wouldn’t it be-“
“Because you are apart, and probably because the claim wasn’t completed too.”
For a second Spike actually felt a glint of hope. A tiny spark waiting to be breathed in. Maybe this was Buffy’s doing, maybe she’d really been there with him.
“You have to let her go, William.” Angel said. “It’s been months.”
And Angel’s fingers closed over the spark and killed it.
It took a long while for him to pass out. He remembered walking into a bar and he’d gotten the first drink as the girl shoved up. A vampiress who pushed her breasts in his face, the invitation clear in her eyes. The demon’s cries’d gone louder. Still he’d thought about it for a second. To just bring her home, bury himself inside her and then stake her after wards. But she would have been cool, not hot, she would’ve touched him in all the wrong places. The second she put a hand on his thigh the demon’s cries’d turned into angry growls. Spike’d looked down up the woman and shuddered. “I’m not in the mood, love.” He’d said and then drowned his drink. Next time the bartender showed up he’d taken the bottle.
Somehow he’d stumbled home, he’d had time to take one last gulp from his second bottle before the darkness finally embraced him and he fell down onto the bed.
She hesitated a half day before she went to Giles office. She’d stopped thinking about him as her watcher many months ago and would’ve preferred to talk to Willow but the witch was of somewhere; some sort of vacation with Kennedy. Hell, if she hadn’t been so desperate for answers she’d tried to look through some books herself. But she was desperate, so she gave Giles a short PG- version of the dream as he polished his glasses.
“Can I see the mark?” He simply asked when she was done.
She lifted her hair and leaned her head to the side, but when he took a step closer she backed away.
“Just... don’t.” Buffy said.
Giles nodded.
“So,” she said “You have any idea what this is?”
“You’re hurting, you say? And the mark just showed up this morning?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you don’t got bitten on patrol or...”
She raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Somehow I think I’d remembered that.”
Giles just stared at her for a second, obviously far away. Then he seemed to shake himself.
“Yes, of course you would.” Giles cleared his throat. “Are you in pain right now?”
Fire was licking her insides.
“Yes.”
He just looked at her for another second.
“I’ll look into the books Buffy, but I really don’t know what this could be.”
“Just look Giles, please.”
She spent an hour training with the slayers, but the pain made her stumble and leave herself open. It didn’t take long for the girls to begin to ask questions. Buffy could still hold her own, yes, but no more. And when none of them had been sent flying after that hour they decided to go on strike. Buffy went back to her room and fell promptly asleep.
Giles was in her room when she woke up. She met his eyes, surprised, as she slowly sat up. Trembling slightly she stood up, to find that her legs could barley carry her. Giles was there immediately, helping her sit back down.
“It’s worse.” He said and there was nothing questioning in his tone.
Slowly she nodded and leaned back against the headboard.
“We need to take it away.” Giles said. “Even if we don’t know what caused it, it dosen’t change the fact that it otherwise will kill you both within days. We can just be happy that it isn’t complete, if it was-“
Buffy could only focus on two words.
“You both?”
“Buffy.” Giles drew in a deep breath. “Spike is back. He has in fact been in Los Angeles for the last couple of months.”
She stared at him for a second before bursting into hysterical laughter. No way. Spike would’ve come for her.
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not.” I actually called Angel directly after you left earlier and he said that Spike had been hurting too.”
“Angel?” She said. “Angel knew?!”
“Yes. It seems like Spike has been... helping them.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, but she didn’t know whither they were for joy or sadness. She swallowed hard.
“What was it you said.... about... eh... ‘consuming us’?”
“Being this far apart will kill you, soon.” Giles took of his glasses and began to polish them. “The only way to break it is to either kill on of you-“
The unspoken message was clear; Kill Spike.
“Never.”
“Or, we can perform a ritual that will take it away, but that requires that the two of you is together and...”
Giles kept talking and Buffy just stared at him. Spike is alive. She trailed a finger over the bite mark on her throat Spike is alive. Slowly she rose to her feet, swaying a little as she stood.
“Why would I want to take it away?” she asked, moving slowly against the door.
“Buffy, did it occur to you that Spike might not’ve wanted you to know that he was back?”
Grabbing her purse on the way she made her way towards the door.
“Then he can just say that to my face.”
As she went down the stairs she saw her sister sitting with one of the slayers.
“Dawn!”
Both girls looked up.
“You can take care of yourself for a couple of days, right?” Buffy said. “I’ll call you.”
“Buffy?! Where are you going?”
But the Slayer was already gone.
Buffy wasn’t afraid of darkness. She wasn’t afraid of blood. She wasn’t afraid of demons or monsters. At least she couldn’t remember it if she sometime had been frightened. Now her heart was thundering in her chest.
The pain had eased a bit as she came closer to LA, but it hadn’t disappeared. She figured it wouldn’t until she saw him. She stepped through the doors into the hotel and found Angel talking to... Harmony?! Whatever.
“Where is he, Angel?”
TBC