Title: To Love A Woman
Author:Pattyanne
snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Buffy and her friends spent
an evening out. Spike shows up and
teaches them a thing or two about
dancing.
Part Three....
Buffy stayed on the couch until the sound
of the motorcycle faded to nothing.
She'd had to consciously restrain herself
from running after him and begging him to
come back inside. Only the knowledge
that she'd be opening a Pandora's Box
stuffed to the brim with problems kept
her in the house.
How could it be anything else? Physical
attraction and desire were wonderful
things, but they couldn't sustain a relation-
ship forever.
She needed something she could count
on. Needed to have some small bit
of control in at least one part of her life.
Everything else was always so up in the
air for her. Even life itself was a crap-
shoot. Everytime she strapped on her
slayer shoes and stakes, and stepped
into any one of a dozen local graveyards,
she rolled those particular dice.
She had been lucky so far, but sooner or
later, she would crap out and roll a big
fat snake eyes.
It was inevitable. Slayers don't die of
old age, or lingering illnesses. Slayers
go out young, usually in a spectacular
amount of pain and blood.
This was her destiny. She had fought
against it...railed against it...tried to run
away from it for so long, but had finally
come to terms with it.
Family and friends, vine covered cottages
with rose gardens growing in the sun-
shine...those things were not for her.
It was a small consolation that at least she
wouldn't have to hang around and watch
as everyone she knew played the game
of Life without her, hitting all the traditional
milestones...love, weddings, new jobs,
first homes....babies.
Buffy had always wanted to have a child
someday. She'd made light of it when
she'd talked with Angel about such things,
but that was mostly to make him feel better
about it.
Playing house had been her favorite thing
to do with her little friends as she grew
from toddlerhood into childhood, and she
had always played the part of Mommy.
She'd loved taking care of her babies; dres-
sing them, feeding them, singing them to
sleep. When she had been very small, and
ignorant of the realities of such things, she'd
told her parents that she was going to have
at least 10 babies of her own.
They had laughed indulgently, and told her
that she would certainly be a very busy
Mommy if that happened.
Her planted memories of Dawn as a baby
were as strong as they'd ever been. She
had a clear and firm recollection of going to
visit Mommy in the hospital, and seeing her
baby sister in the nursery with all the other
newborns.
She remembered the flowers she and her
father had chosen from the gift shop; pink
roses...her mother's favorite, and buying the
Teddy Bear that played a scratchy version of
Brahmms Lullaby.
After bringing the baby home, she had followed
her mother around morning, noon, and night,
wanting to help feed her and change her and
give her a bath, pretending that SHE was the
mommy.
As she'd grown up a little, she had scaled
back her family plans to two children, with
an option on a third one. It had seemed rea-
sonable.
Only after she had embarked on what was
to be her only career choice, had she men-
tally scuttled those plans, facing the fact that
she would never be a mother to even one child
let alone three.
Between falling in love with vampires, and
a dangerous occupation that could make her
child half an orphan, she hadn't....
Buffy shot straight up on the sofa, her
thoughts suddenly scattered apart like
thrown jacks until they narrowed in on one
particular item.
**Falling in love with vampires? As in plural.
As in....more than one...**
"Oh, no," she muttered under her breath. "No,
I didn't...I CAN'T..."
**Can't I..?**
She shook her head. "I am NOT in love
with Spike. I'm not!"
Sure, she'd wanted him. What breathing female
with an ounce of common sense wouldn't?
Spike was good looking, and sexy, and dan-
gerous...all the things she wanted in a man.
But tonight, he'd proved himself to be some-
thing more. He had actually subjugated his
feelings in order to defer to hers.
She had led him on...hadn't MEANT to, but
the results were the same, and he had
still stopped when she'd needed him to. It
had been a tremendous effort for him, she'd
seen the strain on his face and the tension
in his body language.
But he had done it. She had dragged him to
the heart stopping brink of sexual passion,
and then made him break off.
He'd not only done it, but he'd apologized
to HER. As though he'd been the one slam-
ming the door, instead of having it slammed
on him.
"Okay...maybe he's a better man than I've
given him credit for being...but that doesn't
mean I love him...."
**Then why are you still crying now that he's
gone?**
Her hands flew to her face. Fresh tears were
trembling on her cheeks and her eyes were
burning with more.
Buffy got to her feet and went into the bath-
room. Flicking on the overhead light, she
got a look at herself in the mirror and almost
screamed.
Her carefully applied make-up was a melt-
ing fright mask. Black smudges of mascara
around red, swollen eyes made her look like
a panda bear after a three day drunk.
Her hair was a snarly jungle, with all the curl
gone from it.
She was a mess.
**Who cries that hard over a guy they
don't....care about?**
She yanked off a length of toilet paper
and wiped her eyes, then grabbed another
one to blow her nose.
Leaving the bathroom, she went into the
kitchen and poured herself a glass of
iced tea. She sat down at the kitchen
counter to drink it, and was almost finished
when her eye was caught by the newspaper
on the other side of the table.
Dawn had opened it up that morning to
read the comics while she ate breakfast.
Buffy grabbed the paper and looked them
over, wondering why Dawn found them so
amusing.
At the bottom of the page was the word
jumble. Dawn was so good at those that
she always did them in ink, unscrambling
the letters to reveal the hidden message
in less than two minutes.
As Buffy read the message Dawn had
decoded that morning, her heart turned
over in her chest.
"If you're going to walk on thin ice,
you might as well dance."
Her fingers touched her lips, as she began
to smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy was re-doing her make up when
she finally remembered where she'd
heard the song she and Spike had
danced to.
In the living room, she dug out a plastic
box with CDs that had belonged to her
mother, kept around for sentimental
reasons.
It didn't take her long to find the sound-
track she was hunting for.
Putting it to one side, she ran upstairs
and grabbed Dawn's CD player out of
her room. She put fresh batteries in it
and went back downstairs to make sure
the CD was playable.
The song she wanted was the first track
on the disc, and she listened to it care-
fully, the words having even more meaning
now than they'd had before.
The sound was perfect. She should have
known, her mom had always been careful
with her CDs, far more than she and Dawn
had ever been.
Setting the volume control where she
wanted it, she placed the CD player by
the door and finished fixing her face and
hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her nerve nearly deserted her at the door
to his crypt.
What if it was too late? What if he'd decided
that she was just too high maintenance for
him? What if he'd kept his promise and was
already gone?
**What if the earth spins out of orbit and loses
it's gravitional pull, and we all float out into space?
Stop being such a chickenshit and move your
ass, Summers!**
She opened the door as quietly as she could,
which wasn't as easy as she'd thought it
would be. She'd come through this door like
a cyclone in the past, and now she knew part
of the reason why.
The damn thing weighed a ton. You had to put
a little muscle into it to get it open.
Closing it was just as bad.
**I have got to get him out of this stupid
crypt..**
Placing the CD player on top of the tomb,
she saw faint lamplight coming from the lower
level, and heard someone stirring around.
Hoping like hell that it was the RIGHT some-
one, she smoothed her hair and dress, then
pushed PLAY.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike poured another glass of scotch,
and practically threw the alcohol down
his throat.
He was four glasses into his intended
'drinking to forget' plan, and he wasn't even
slightly buzzed. Damn vampire tolerance
levels screwed him over every time.
With a heartfelt sigh, he rummaged around
beneath the bed, looking for the duffle bag
he'd shoved under it when he'd first come to
live here.
He wouldn't be taking much with him when
he left. His clothes, a few personal effects,
some jewelry that had belonged to his
mother, most of which he hadn't looked
at in years, but still held on to.
A few pictures...
He found the box in the bottom of the
armoire. Hesitating, bracing himself for
another shot of heartache, he opened
it.
There were three pictures in the box. One
of Dawn and two of Buffy, they were pictures
he'd sweet talked Dawn out of one night, payment
for keeping his mouth shut about Dawn
climbing out of her bedroom window when
she'd been grounded by Warden Buffy for some-
thing that he couldn't even remember now.
His finger traced the features of Buffy's
smiling face as he remembered the feel of
her skin beneath his touch. The warmth,
and softness and....
No. He couldn't take these with him. If
he did...he'd never be able to stay away,
and he had promised her that he would
go and not come back.
Replacing the lid of the box, he shoved it
back into the drawer.
He sat there, his resolve fading as he
contemplated the thought of never seeing
her again...even a photograph of her.
His hand reached to open the drawer
again..his fingers were almost touching
it...when he heard a sound from the upper
level.
Music? Where the hell was that coming
from. He didn't have a....
His expression became murderous.
THAT song. The one they had danced
to. Who was so fucking cruel that they
thought this was funny?
All his pent up emotions came roaring
to the surface. They needed an outlet,
and if he couldn't have the one he really
wanted, he would take this one.
Ready to break someone's neck, he
climbed the ladder.
When he saw who was waiting for him,
his non beating heart nearly burst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"To really love a woman, to under
stand her
You got to know her deep inside
Hear every thought,
See every dream
And give her wings when she wants to
fly..."
More nervous than she could ever
remember being before, Buffy held
out one hand, praying that he wouldn't
just turn his back on her.
"Dance with me?" she asked softly.
"Then when you find yourself lying
helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman.."
Without a word, not questioning why
anything had changed, he crossed the
room in three long strides and placed
his hands around her waist, then lifted
her completely off her feet and up into
the air.
Smiling with a happiness he'd never
expected to feel again, he spun her
around and around, until she was laugh-
ing and holding on to his shoulders.
"When you love a woman, you tell her
that she's really wanted.
When you love a woman, you tell her
that she's the one...
She needs somebody to tell her that
it's gonna last forever.
So tell me have you ever really,
really really ever loved a woman?"
Setting her back down on her feet,
he stepped back a little and reached
for her right hand. Bringing it to his
lips, he left a soft kiss on the back,
then turned it over and pressed a longer,
more tender one into her palm.
Buffy's eyes felt misty at the loving
gesture, wondering where he had
been hiding all this back when they'd
first met.
Before she could say anything, he
took her other hand as well, and
placed her arms around his neck,
his eyes widening briefly when her
fingers began to play with the hair
at the nape.
"To really love a woman
Let her hold you
Till you know how she needs
to be touched
You've got to breathe her
Really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood.."
Keeping his own hands on her waist,
he began to move her to the rhythm
of the song. They danced, just the way
they had done before...as though they'd
been doing it for a lifetime.
Buffy's eyes drifted closed, and Spike
slipped one hand up her back and
into her honey colored mass of hair.
Twining his fingers in it, he gently
pulled, tilting her head back.
"Open your eyes," he whispered, the
first words he had spoken since he'd
left her before.
Her lashes lifted slowly, revealing
the feelings she couldn't hide, or
wish away.
Spike met her gaze seriously. "Are
you frightened?"
"A little," she admitted.
He swallowed hard. "Of me?"
She shook her head. "Of losing
you."
If he'd had breath, those words would
have stopped it. "That'll never happen,
Buffy," he vowed passionately. "I
swear it. Never."
Her smile was tremulous. "Unless I chase
you off."
"Not even then," he said, pressing his
lips against her forehead. "Buffy...there's
no power on earth that can make me leave
you...if you want me to stay."
Sliding her hands up his arms, she pressed
them to his cheeks and looked up into his
eyes. "Stay," she said firmly.
Sliding one arm around her waist, he
leaned her back over it, then lowered
his head and pressed his lips against
the lace that hid the soft hollow at the base
of her throat.
"You got to give her some faith
Hold her tight
A little tenderness
Got to treat her right
She will be there for you
Taking good care of you.."
"Spike..?"
"What, baby?" He nuzzled her ear.
"Let's go downstairs."
"You really got to love your woman..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He led her down the ladder to the
lower level, then scooped her up
and carried her over to the bed.
She let out a small squeak of sur-
prise when her feet left the ground.
Spike placed one knee on the bed,
and placed her carefully on the mattress,
as though she were a fine and delicate
piece of crystal, fashioned by a master
craftsman.
Before he could move away, she slipped
her arms around his neck and tugged
him down until his lips found hers in a
slow, hot, open-mouthed kiss.
Their tongues played lazily in each
others mouths, touching and tasting.
Spike pulled back first, and rolled
her over onto her stomach to unfasten
the buttons of her dress once again.
She giggled as he tickled the back of
her neck, then nipped playfully with
his teeth.
Stretching out her arms beside her,
she turned her head and lay on his
pillow, enjoying the attentions he was
paying her.
His hands moved up her legs and under
the skirt of her dress.
She promptly rolled back over and smiled
at him. "Don't bother looking," she said,
"I was in too much of a hurry to put a garter
belt and stockings back on."
He grinned. "Why, Miss Summers," he
said, his voice suitably scandalized. "Do
you mean to tell me that you've been
running around town without your knickers
on?"
She giggled and nodded her head. "Fraid
so."
"You're a very naughty girl," he said, growl-
ing a little for her. "I love it."
Pulling her sandals off, he tossed them
across the room, then worked her out of
her dress.
When he had her completely naked,
his mouth took a slow, leisurely trip down
her throat, stopping to pay proper atten-
tion to her breasts.
Licking her damp skin, he nuzzled his
face in the hollow between her breasts,
then moved his mouth up the undercurve
of one to it's hard nipple.
Buffy gasped at the feel of his tongue as
it drew wet circles around the tip of her
breast. She arched her back, aching for
a deeper touch.
"Please," she begged. "Take it in your
mouth...oh...oh, yes...harder. Feels so
good..."
She clenched her fingers in his silky
hair, pressing him even closer as he
suckled her, first gently, then harder..as
she had requested.
"Now...now the other.." she said, guiding
his face to her opposite nipple.
He took it in immediately, drawing on it
so strongly that she felt it in her womb.
At the same time, he used his fingers on
the one he had been sucking, tugging it
and pinching it gently, rubbing the moisture
of his saliva into her skin.
Rolling her over again, he lay beneath her
as she propped herself on her forearms,
freeing his hands to cup and fondle and
squeeze both her breasts.
"God, you're so beautiful," he said, molding
her soft flesh like a sculptor, pushing the
mounds together and swiping his tongue
back and forth from one nipple to the other,
pausing only to suck at them. "I could spend
a lifetime here and never get enough."
She moved back a little, teasing him by re-
moving her breast from the reach of his
mouth, then giving him just a small taste be-
fore moving back again.
He growled in his throat, a sound that caused
an instant rush of hot fluid to seep from be-
tween her legs.
Spike caught the scent of it, and felt it damp-
ening the front of his pants.
Afraid that something else was going to dampen
them even more, he turned her over again and
sat up between her splayed thighs.
He wanted to taste her so badly that he couldn't
bear it, but he had to release the pressure of his
trousers before it became painful.
Climbing off the bed, he stood next to it and
tugged his shirt off, sending it who knew where.
As he did this, Buffy moved to unbuckle his
belt and tug down the zipper of those confining
leather pants he had on.
Considering how tight they were, they slipped
down with surprising ease.
Her eyes became as wide as tea saucers
when she saw the impressive erection jutting
out from his thighs.
Unable to resist, she reached out one hand
and wrapped her fingers around his cock,
sliding them up and down.
"Ohh....FUCK...yes, baby...a little tighter..
that's my girl...yes..."
She pumped her hand up and down the
rigid shaft, lifting the drops of moisture that
formed at the tip and rubbing them back
into his skin.
"Does that feel good?" she asked, knowing
the answer perfectly well.
"Oh, fuck...yes. Yes....don't stop...yeah..
squeeeze it...little more...more...I...no,
stop...honey, stop now."
"Why?" she inquired teasingly.
"Because...if you don't," he explained
just as teasingly, "you're gonna have a big
mess on your hands."
She released him then, ignoring the small
whimper of protest he couldn't help
uttering.
Moving back into the center of the bed, she
beckoned him with one finger, watching as
he gripped his shaft firmly to hold off
ejaculating.
"Is that for me," she asked, "or are you gonna
play with yourself all night?"
He grinned at her as he toed off his boots
and kicked his pants away. "It's all for you,
little girl. Every...last...inch."
Reclining on the pillows, she held out
her arms. "Come here, baby," she said
sweetly.
Forcing away the memory of what had
happened the last time he'd done this, Spike
again fell into her open arms.
This time, though, she parted her legs for
him and lifted her hips, rubbing her wet
crotch against him.
Capturing his face in her hands, she gave
him several lingering kisses, sliding her
tongue into his mouth and licking the
slick enamel of his teeth.
He moaned deep in his throat, then pulled
back and blazed a trail down her body,
leaving her skin moist and yearning.
Pushing her thighs apart, he paused for
a moment to take in her scent...a fragrance
that made his head spin...and lowered him-
self between them.
Buffy's entire body jerked taut as a drawn
wire at the feel of his tongue on her. He slid
it up and down the outer fold of her sex, then
plunged it in as deeply as he could, then found
her clit and sucked it, drinking her in like vintage
wine.
Her head thrashed on the pillow as she moaned
and sobbed and panted. The pleasure he was
inflicting on her was almost unbearable, and
could easily border on pain had he been less
experienced.
Not needing to breathe was a big bonus too...
He raised his head and looked at her, loving
the fact that he was the one who had brought
her to such a state.
And he knew exactly how to push her a
little bit higher.
"God, baby...you taste so sweet. Your little pussy
is like cream..I could eat it all night." He slid
one finger inside her. "So wet...and hot. You must
like this." He smiled evilly. "Do you, baby? Do you
like it when I lick you between your legs?"
"Uh-huh," Buffy panted.
"And when I suck your juicy little clit? Does it
feel good when I do that?"
"Yes," she gulped. "Very...very good."
Pumping his finger in and out, he rubbed her
sweet spot with his thumb. "What about when I
tongue fuck you? When I slide my tongue in as
deeply as I can..move it in and out..harder and
faster..."
"Oh, GOD!!!" Buffy groaned the words, and
dug her nails into the mattress, her hips convulsing
as her body touched the stars.
Without another word, Spike moved up in the
bed and positioned himself. Rubbing the head
of his cock against her labia, he slid it in a little,
then pulled back. His thrusts were shallow and
slow, as he entered her a bit at a time.
Buffy was moaning and keening in his ear,
ratcheting his lust even higher.
When he was completely sheathed in her warm,
tight center, he began to thrust rhythmically,
using his hips to nudge her thighs even farther
apart.
She raised her legs suddenly, winding them
around his back, which allowed him even
deeper penetration.
Neither of them were quiet about it, and could
probably be heard by most of the local residents
of his particular neighborhood.
Fortunately, the dead don't mind the noise.
Pounding into her harder and faster, he
grunted every time his pelvis slammed into
hers.
Sometimes he would stop and move his
hips from side to side, striking whole new
pleasure points inside her.
"Ohhh...ohhh...Spike...yes," she whined
and whimpered. "More...more...harder...baby,
harder...come on...do it...do it now...I'm
so close...baby, I'm so close....."
He redoubled his efforts, giving her everything
he had to give.
"You're so good," she crooned in his ear, stoking
the fires of his ego at the same time she did
his body. "It's never been like this...never...you,
baby...it's you...you're my man...my beautiful
wild boy..."
"Buffy...Buffy...are you...mine? My...girl? Say..
say you are...uhh...uhh...say it...please...."
Placing her lips to his ear, she whispered with
heated breath..."I'm all yours..all of me..all
for you...just you...oh, faster...go faster...I'm
so...make me come," she pleaded shamelessly.
"Make me come...Spike...ahhh..."
"I'll make you come," he choked out. "Make you
see stars...come so hard...do it for me, babe...do
it for your man..."
Five more ramming thrusts were all they needed.
They came together, screaming in the perfect
bliss of mutual orgasm.
Buffy lifted her hips and clamped her internal
muscles around his shaft, milking it for all the
juice he had to give her. She could feel it spewing
into her, his cock jerking as it emptied every
drop of semen.
Spike pushed his pelvis down hard, grinding
it against hers in the delicious friction that
made his lover's body vibrate and hum. He felt
the wetness gushing from her, making everything
slick and hot.
When it was over, when it began to ease away
from them, they looked into each others
eyes....and both found just exactly what they'd
wanted so much to see.
It was love...and it was good...and it
would last forever.
"Then when you find yourself lying helpless
in her arms
You know you really love a woman..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Spike?"
"Hmm?"
"Remember when you came into the Bronze
earlier?"
"Yeah..."
"You said you were waiting for someone." Buffy
frowned, not pleased with the idea at all. "Just
who were you waiting for?"
He propped his head on one hand and
looked down at her cross little face.
"Oh, Buffy," he said tenderly. "Don't you
know...I was waiting for you, baby."
Leaning down then, he kissed her until she
smiled.....
The End.
Feedback is appreciated.
~Have You Ever Loved A Woman~
Written by B. Adams, M Kamen,
and RJ Lange, for the Motion Picture 'Don
Juan de Marco'
[Reviews - 18]
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