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Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter took me a while to get a hold on. It's filled with some angst and the next few chapters will cover the situation as well. Things will get a little happier around Chapter 21. Please review!!
Chapter 18 – Leaving

Summers' house

This was the day Buffy was leaving to go back to San Francisco. She’d talked to Spike this morning already, keeping their habit of calling each other every morning since he’d left Sunnydale. He was going to meet her at the airport in San Francisco and they’d spend some time together and talk about where they went next. She’d been thinking about them a lot lately and she didn’t want to put off talking to him even if she would be tired from the flight.

Over the last few days Buffy had packed up her and Will’s things and was all set to go except for saying goodbye to Willow and Xander. She’d said goodbye to Dawn before she left for school both promising to keep in touch and work on Dawn visiting Buffy and Will in San Francisco. Dawn had even teased, “Make sure you keep Spike around too, I want to see him when I visit too.”

Buffy had just smiled and given Dawn a big hug before playfully pushing her out the front door saying, “Go now! Or you’ll be late for school.”

She hadn’t said goodbye to her mom yet either, but that would be taken care of later. Joyce was driving Buffy and Will to the airport later that afternoon. So, Buffy knew she’d get to say goodbye to her then. That goodbye she was saving for last because it very well could be the hardest. Her mom had helped her sort through a lot during her visit and face a lot of things she hadn’t exactly wanted to face, things she had been avoiding for the last 5 years. Now that was in the past though and she was incredibly grateful to her mother.

There were a few things Buffy hurried to get together around the house, a few last touches to packing and the like. Then she took Will with her to meet Willow and Xander to say goodbye to them. They were meeting for brunch at a small café. A part of Buffy didn’t want to leave Sunnydale. That part of her had finally gained some closure to what had happened all those years ago to push her out of her hometown, but there was a bigger part of Buffy that knew that Sunnydale was her past and her future lay elsewhere.

She kissed her mother goodbye and said “I love you” as she left the house to meet her friends. A few minutes later she was pulling into a parking space at the café and looking around for Willow and Xander. Only when Will pulled his hand out of hers and ran to Xander with an excited “Uncle Xander!” did she immediately look at her 5 year old son to see why he had pulled his hand out of hers. Then she realized he had spotted her friends and she walked over to the table they had gotten for the four of them. She smiled and took a seat.

“Will, sit down sweetie,” she said in a motherly tone. He listened without hesitation and climbed into his chair, still wearing a big grin on his face.

They all shared a glance for a moment and didn’t know just what to say. Then they were saved by the waiter coming to get Buffy and Will’s drink order and possibly the food order. Buffy looked up at her friends and said, “If you guys go first I can order now.”

“Alrighty then,” Xander said with a smile. “You first Willow.”

“Ok…” Willow began. “I’ll have the grilled chicken salad and a bowl of French onion soup.” She paused for only a second before adding, “Oh! And can we get an order of breadsticks too?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the waiter said. Then he looked at Xander, waiting on his order.

“Ummm… I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger, medium.”

“Ok,” he said quietly before turning to Buffy.

“Oh… one order of the kids’ cheeseburger with a side of green beans and macaroni and cheese…” She paused after Will’s order then said, “And I’ll have the Chicken Marsala.”

The waiter wrote it all down and said he’d be right back with their drinks. When he left Buffy looked at Will and then across the table at her two best friends, friends she had known since she was a kid. She didn’t know where to begin. Her time in Sunnydale had been wonderful despite the circumstances and she was sad she was leaving later today.

Just as the waiter dropped their drinks off she bit her lip and decided to just begin. “I’m so glad we got to spend time together while I was here… and I’m really glad you guys got to know Will some.” She smiled as she ran her hand through Will’s hair.

Will smiled at Buffy for a second, but still pushed her hand away.

Xander smiled at the exchange and Willow said, “Oh, Buffy, you know we’re so happy that you came back… sorry about why, but you know we’re always glad to see you… and we wish we saw more of you and Will. We love him a lot.” Willow smiled at Will after she said the last part.

“Thanks Willow. You guys mean a lot to me and I know Will really enjoyed hanging out with you guys, didn’t you honey?” Buffy asked Will.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed with a grin.

Buffy thought the world of her little boy, but he was only 5 so she understood that he might be a little bored at this lunch. She looked across the table at Willow and smiled. Xander saw the passing glance and smile between the two girls and turned his attention to a little chat with Will about what he was going to do when he got back home.

“I’m really glad I came back,” Buffy said to Willow.

“Me too,” Willow said with a slight curl to her lips.

“It’s been really good to… put some stuff behind me. And now…”

“You’re looking forward to things again,” Willow suggested nonchalantly.

“Yeah,” Buffy smiled knowingly and blushed a little. “You could say that.”


Thus lunch passed with small chit chat, good food, and in good company. When they were done Willow and Xander walked Buffy and Will back to the Jeep and said goodbye.

“I’m really glad we got to do this today,” Buffy said with a sad smile. She hated saying goodbye and tears started welling in her eyes. She wiped at them furiously, hating herself for getting weepy.

“Oh, Buffy…” Willow began, choking up herself as they hugged one another tightly.

“Promise me you’ll come visit… soon,” Buffy said.

“I promise,” Willow said, breaking away to put Will in the back of the Jeep and hug and kiss him. “Be good,” she whispered to him.

“Bye Auntie Willow,” Will said sweetly.

Xander leaned in and hugged Buffy goodbye, kissing her on the cheek as he pulled away. “Take care of yourself,” he said, trying to stay tough.

“I love you, Xander,” she said, knowing he was a big softie underneath it all.

He coughed and replied, “I love you too, Buff.”

“Promise me you’ll come too,” she said seriously. He was quiet for a moment and she added, “I know you and Spike have had your differences… mostly with the way he wasn’t here for me and Will, but he’s trying now and he wants to be a good dad.”

“I promise,” he said softly. Then he moved over to give Will a hug next.

Buffy hugged them each again and made sure Will was buckled in before getting behind the wheel and waving goodbye to two of her best friends. The drive back to the house was quiet. When she parked she looked at Will in the rearview mirror and smiled at him.

“Do you want to play in the yard while Mama gets our bags together?” she asked him, putting some cheerfulness back in her voice.

He looked at her and grinned excitedly, his blue eyes twinkling. She got out of the car and opened up the back door for him to get out. He took off in a hurry towards the tree in the front yard. He loved to jump at its lower branches. He wasn’t quite big enough to get a hold but it would occupy him for a few minutes.

“Will,” she called to him as she stood on the front steps. “Just play in the backyard when you’re done out here,” she told him.

He just kept jumping up, trying to get a branch. After a minute of watching him Buffy just went ahead inside. He always went out back anyway. He loved it here and she wished they could stay longer, but it was time to go back to their lives. Her mom was getting better and things had returned to normal. She knew it was time to get back to her not so normal life where Spike was waiting. They had a lot to figure out and she was almost buzzing with excitement from it. She wanted to know what he wanted.

Stepping inside the front door she set her purse on the table with the keys to the Jeep and called out for her mom as she headed for the kitchen.

“Mom…” There was no answer and the kitchen was empty. “Mom…” she called again walking back toward the den. Then something caught her eye. She froze for just a moment before rushing to her mother, who was lying on the couch.

“Mom. Mom.” She shook her lightly but there was no response. She didn’t know what to do. ‘Phone. I need to call 911.’ She ran to get the phone and quickly dialed the numbers while kneeling beside the couch. It rang once and a woman answered. Buffy was trying to stay calm, but her breath was hitching in her throat.

The woman talked her through got her address to send an ambulance and starting CPR. Buffy wasn’t getting any response despite trying to revive her mother. The woman told her to stay calm and the EMTs would be there in a few minutes. Buffy took a deep breath and said “Ok. Thank you. I need to call someone.” Then she hung up the phone and called Giles. In a disconnected voice she told him that her mom was unconscious. He said he’d be right over.

Suddenly Buffy thought about Will. ‘He can’t come in. He can’t see her like this.’ She looked out in the front yard but he wasn’t there. As she was heading for the back door at the kitchen she felt like she was going to be sick and she ran for the bathroom, barely making it. Standing up from her bent over position she looked at herself in the mirror and turned on the water. Listening to it run for a moment she just dazed off. Shaking her head she refocused and splashed some water in her face and rinsed out her mouth quickly. She dried her face on a towel and proceeded to go out back to check on Will. She smiled at the sight of him. He was so happy and oblivious. Just then she heard a knock on the front door and she asked him “Are you ok playing out here for a little bit longer?”

He nodded happily and Buffy went back inside to answer the door. It was the EMTs and she slowly opened the door and showed them to where her mother was lying. They quickly moved her to the floor and tried for several minutes to bring her back, but to no avail. Buffy just watched dumbly. She felt useless. After several minutes they called the time of death and wrote it down on a sheet of paper on a clipboard. Then they put her on a stretcher to take her out and covered her with a blanket. She followed them out the front door and saw Giles parking his car. She felt as if she wasn’t really there. Could this really be happening? Was it all a dream?

He hurried inside and she heard him exclaim, “Oh dear lord” when he saw her mother’s body covered with a blanket on the floor.

She couldn’t even smile at that common Giles phrase. No, this was a dream. Watching as Giles went over to her mother’s body and was about to try to revive her again she cried out “No!” Then she stopped and choked on a sob. “They said to leave her.” Somehow her voice was calm when she added, “Someone will come get her.”

He just stared at her and slowly pulled her into his arms, the arms of a surrogate father. She’d practically grown up in the Giles house. She had spent just as much time there as in her mother’s house. She choked on another sob as he held her to him, but she didn’t cry. She couldn’t cry yet. She had to stay strong for Will. And she still had to tell Dawn. “Oh God… Dawn,” she whispered.

Giles pulled away slightly and looked at her grief stricken face. “Is she still at school?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah… I should go get her… tell her…” she stumbled through her words. “But Will…”

“Does he know yet?”

“No.” Her voice was even. “He’s playing out back. I don’t want to tell him yet. Just wait until I get back. Keep him out there until the body’s gone. Can you watch him while I go tell Dawn?”

She looked up at him with pleading eyes and he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to. “Of course,” he said. “Have you… called William?” he asked slowly.

“Oh… no… I didn’t even think about it in all the craziness. Would you?” she asked.

“Of course dear. You go along and tell Dawn. I’ll watch Will here and call William.”

“And if they come for… the body… can you sign?” she asked, looking down for a second.

“Yes, I can do that too.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. Then she moved to grab her purse and the keys to the Jeep. She slowly pulled out of the driveway and drove to Dawn’s school.


Buffy parked in the school parking lot and sat in the car trying to collect her thoughts for a few minutes. She had to go in and tell her 14 year old sister that their mother was dead. She knew this was not going to be easy by any means. She could hardly believe it herself. Things seemed so normal this morning. Slowly she got out of the Jeep and headed for the school. This morning she was getting ready to go back to San Francisco, to work things out with Spike… Spike. She still hadn’t talked to him and somehow he was the one person she wanted to talk to and didn’t want to talk to at the same time. In her heart of hearts she knew that she needed him here and she knew that once Giles told him what had happened he would be on his way, but she was afraid that he would see right through her tough exterior and she would break down. She didn’t want to break down. She couldn’t break down. She had to stay strong, for Dawn, for Will, to get everything that would need to be taken care done.


Chapter End Notes:
Thanks to Photography Nut, cordykitten, Cissi & everyone else who has reviewed or helped me.



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