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Chapter 4 – Awake Now

…continued from Chapter 3 – As Time Passes By…

Spike carried the unconscious Buffy over to a soft couch off to the side in the main lobby. A few people were walking by to get to the elevators, but no one seemed to be paying any attention to Spike and Buffy. The couch was in a quiet, dim corner of the lobby so he didn’t expect people to be paying them much attention.

He sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned over to brush some hair out of her face. The rise and fall of her chest was apparent so he knew that she was still breathing. He watched her for a moment, careful to steady his own breathing. Seeing Buffy again was unexpected to say the least. There was so much that he was feeling right now that he couldn’t even begin to sort through it all and really know which feeling was which.

Buffy Summers, the girl that stole his heart, was now lying before him. He never thought he would see her again. He had dreamed of it, but he never let himself believe that one of those dreams would come true. Now she was here. She was really here with him. She had touched him. She had said his name.

He wanted to wake her up and talk to her, wanted to find out what she had been doing since he left Sunnydale, wanted to know why she was here, and wanted to know if she still loved him. The latter he wouldn’t ask her though. It was too soon to ask that.

A few minutes passed and Buffy began to move. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and the first thing she saw was Spike looking down on her.

“Hi,” he said softly.

She looked around her and grew puzzled. She didn’t remember the couch. “Where… am I?” she asked.

“You fainted and I moved you over here to the couch. Thought it would be a bit more comfortable for you,” he smiled lightly. Then he grew quiet. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Oh…” she was quiet to for a moment. She sat up a little and began to scoot away from Spike. After a minute she said in a quite voice, “Thank you.” She was looking down at her hands lying in her lap instead of up at him.

He hadn’t been looking at her either when he heard the quiet thank you. When he heard it he looked up suddenly. “For what?” he said surprised.

“For moving me to the couch… it was kind of you to do that--” she stopped there for a second. Her brows furrowed the next second and she asked, “Why did you move me? Why are you here… being nice to me?” She folded her arms defensively and looked at him sternly.

Spike was even more surprised by this line of questioning than he was by the thank you. The defensive tone in Buffy’s voice threw him off and he was speechless for a minute. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before he finally managed to spit out, “I told you why I moved you.”

He stood quickly and turned away from her. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “I didn’t expect to see you here Buffy. I had no time to think about how to react. I’m being nice because that’s what comes naturally when I’m with you…from what I remember anyway.”

She watched him stand and thought he might walk away. ‘That would be just like him,’ she thought. “Oh…” was her quiet response to his words. She looked down at her lap again for a few seconds. When she looked up his back was still to her.

She stood quietly and took a few steps toward him. She was almost close enough to touch him. She could hear his steady breathing and it reminded her of the last time she had seen him. His breathing then had put her to sleep. She closed her eyes and took a step back.

He heard her footsteps behind him, but he didn’t turn around. He closed his eyes and waited for her to touch him. He could still feel her touch him the way she had on graduation. Would she ever touch him like that again? Then she spoke, and he was torn from his thoughts.

“I have to go…” she said suddenly. “I’m sorry…it’s just…he’s counting on me…goodbye William.” A tear rolled down her cheek as she turned and walked away from him. She never wanted to have to say goodbye to him again, but life never took into account what you wanted.

“Buffy…” he turned around to see her walking away. He ran after her. When he caught up with her he grabbed her arm gently. “Don’t go,” he said in a low, rough voice.

She looked at him with startled eyes when she felt his hand gripping her arm firmly. Her eyes softened at his request. “I don’t want to William… but I have to. There’s someone waiting on me, counting on me.”

He didn’t let go of her. Her words struck him though and a hurt look entered his eyes. He turned her body to his. “Who’s so important Buffy? Who is it that can’t wait for you?” He looked at her seriously and leaned in closer. “All I want is a little of your time...” he said quietly. “Please,” he added desperately.

Buffy drew back and looked into his eyes. She could see the pain there. She brought her hand up to caress his cheek. She watched as he closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. It brought a smile to her face. “He’s important to me because he’s a part of me. I don’t want to keep him waiting because he didn’t ask for anything. He’s never really asked for anything. He’s just here, and he’s a part of my life.”

She looked at his face and coaxed him to open his eyes again by rubbing the corner of his eye. When he did she looked into those baby blues and knew that she would always be in love with him. “Your eyes… he has your eyes… his father’s eyes…” she said quietly. She didn’t really think about what she’d said and it didn’t seem that Spike caught on at first either.

It took him a minute to process it. “Father’s eyes?” he asked, puzzled. He tilted his head to the side. His hand had loosened its grip minutes ago. “Buffy…what are you saying?”

The look in his eyes, the question lying there unanswered perturbed her. She didn’t know what to say to him. She never imagined them running into each other like this. She shook her head. “I… don’t know. I didn’t mean to say that…”

“That’s fine. There are a lot of things we don’t mean to say, but Buffy…what does it mean?”

Her eyes met his and she knew she couldn’t talk her way out of this one. There was determination in his eyes. “I just… he’s just a child. He doesn’t understand what happened…” she gestured between their bodies, “between us.”

There was a sudden revelation to him. He didn’t miss the point of her words this time. “Bloody hell, Buffy…” He took a step back from her and ran his hand through his hair again.

Buffy looked down. She felt a little ashamed that she had kept the truth from him for so long. Her eyes wandered up to Spike and around them. There were people around and she didn’t like the idea of everyone hearing what they were talking about. “Will…” she said as she took a step toward him. She knew she needed to say something, but she wasn’t sure just what to say. She bit her lip for a few seconds. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now. I tried to call, but I never got a hold of you… I know I should’ve kept trying, and I’m sorry…”

He looked back at her again. He couldn’t believe this. His whole life had changed in a matter of seconds. He didn’t know what to say to her at the moment. There was so much he was feeling, so much he wanted to know, and yet he was speechless.

She saw something akin to confusion in his appearance and she felt her heart go out to him. She had felt very similar when she found out she was pregnant. Now she was here with William and she had the opportunity to let him into her life again, to let him into the life of their son. “William,” she started nervously.

“Buffy,” he said, looking at her.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?” she asked simply.

He thought for a moment and shook his head. “Yeah, there’s a place about a block from here. Are you hungry?” He wasn’t sure of what he was doing, but he knew he didn’t want to push her away.

“Uhh…” she started. She wasn’t so sure about lunch, but then her stomach growled loud enough for both of them to hear. She smiled and said, “Guess so.”

“We can take my car. When we’re done I’ll bring you back here to get your car… sound good?”

She nodded.

Buffy followed Spike out and to his car. He opened the door for her and she slid into the seat. It was a nice sports car, not too fancy, but definitely expensive. She wondered how much money he made, because from the look of the car he was fairly successful.

Her focus darted to him as he got in the driver’s seat and started the car. She looked away from him and out the passenger’s window as he mind thought over the situation at hand.

Spike kept his focus on the road with the occasional glance at the girl sitting in the car beside him. His mind went over all that was happening to his life and all that had happened to Buffy’s.

She must have been through a lot raising him on her own. Him. He had a son. He couldn’t believe it. The boy must be… about 5 now. Spike knew there was only one time when they could have conceived a child, graduation night. He felt like he was awake for the first time in years. There were so many possibilities stretching before him. He was a father. He knew he wanted children someday, and now he was a father. In a matter of minutes he found out that he had been a father for the past 5 years without ever knowing it. He had thought about Buffy often, but he never imagined that he had gotten her pregnant. He felt happier now than he could remember feeling in the last 5 years. He hadn’t felt this happy since he left Sunnydale. He’d been happy, but never like this. He didn’t know how to explain it right now, but his mind was racing with all that he had learned and all that he had yet to learn about his son.





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