Title: Tell Me You Love Me
Author:Pattyanne
snapkik@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine
Summary: Spike is fed up with Buffy's
refusal to admit that she loves him. He
leaves town. She falls apart. Help
comes from the last person(s)
you'd expect.
Part Four...
At five minutes before two a.m., Spike
walked into the waiting room of Mercy
Hospital's Intensive Care Unit, startling
the occupants.
"Where is she?" he asked curtly.
Willow found her voice first. "He found you!"
Spike didn't bother to reply. "Where is she?"
he asked again.
Giles answered him. "Room eleven. But
they won't let you in. We tried."
Spike barely spared a glance for the
man. "They won't keep me out," he
said as he turned his back. "Just LET
them try."
He found room eleven and, bracing him-
self, pushed the door open and stepped
inside.
All during the trip home, his imagination
had tormented him with visions of what he
might find when he arrived.
Just the idea of Buffy being so terribly hurt
was enough to send him into a blind panic.
In spite of what he had said to Xander, Spike
blamed himself utterly for what had happened
to the slayer. Had it not been for his callous
desertion of her, Buffy would not be here.
Knowing how frightened she was of hospitals
only made his guilt worse.
This was his fault...every bit of it. Selfish bas-
tard that he was, he had demanded she admit
that she loved him, and when she hadn't, he
had punished her for it by leaving without a word
of goodbye.
He had left her here to fight the nightly battle
on her own, with no one to help her or protect
her except for a bunch of kids who tried, but
could only do so much, and a watcher who felt
it was high time she stopped leaning on him.
And now, just look at what had happened.
**Look at what you've done, you heartless son
of a bitch...look at her, lying here fighting for
her life...because of you**
At least he HOPED she was fighting. Be-
cause...because if she wasn't, if she'd
surrendered to that greedy bitch, Death...
He didn't even want to THINK of such a
thing. He knew he wouldn't be able to
bear it.
He had survived losing Drusilla. It had been
painful, but he had survived it and gotten
over her.
There was no chance that he would survive
losing Buffy. She was his life. Without her,
there was nothing.
This little slayer had burrowed into his heart
so deeply that he would never...EVER be free
again.
And if she died...there was no power on earth
that would keep him in this world.
Buffy lived a dangerous life, courting death on
a nightly basis. Over the years, his imagina-
tion had conjured up all manner of horrifying
possibilities.
But all of those scenarios put together couldn't
even begin to compare to the reality before
his eyes.
She lay unconscious in a hospital bed that
seemed to swallow her tiny frame. Her left
arm was strapped to a board and had an
IV needle inserted, feeding her vital fluids.
Her face was as white as paper, except for
some bruising and a cut over her right eye
that had been neatly stitched.
She looked so still and lifeless that for one
awful moment, Spike was afraid that he'd
been too late and she had died.
But the machines she was hooked up to
emitted a steady series of beeps and clicks,
assuring him that she was not gone.
He had no intention of letting her go. Not with-
out him.
"Hi, sweetheart," he said softly. "I'm back.
Came back to you, luv."
Lowering himself into the chair beside the bed,
he took her right hand in both of his and
kissed it, then pressed it to his cheek.
Her skin was cold. He could feel it, even
through his own low temperature, and it
frightened him badly.
Buffy had always been his golden girl, warm
and vibrant, and so alive. How could this be
his bright eyed princess?
"I couldn't stay away from you, luv. Shouldn't
even have tried. It was damn stupid of me."
His throat was tight with pain. "Please wake up,
baby," he begged. "Open those beautiful eyes. Do
it for me."
He leaned closer, watching for some sign that
she had heard him, that she was trying to
come back to him.
"I'm so sorry for leaving you that way. I
promise I'll never do it again if you'll just
open your eyes."
Nothing.
"Open your eyes, Buffy!" His tone was a
little harsher now, as though he could bully
her into it. "Come on...you've been sleeping
long enough, you lazy girl. It's time to wake
up."
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes.
**Please...please don't let this happen. Don't
take her away from me. I know I don't deserve
her...but please don't take her...please**
He prayed to a deity he had lost faith in long
ago, to a god who was no doubt thinking
that it had certainly been a long time since
he'd heard anything from this particular quarter.
When he finally opened his eyes, they were
brimming with tears. "Wake up, Buffy! You
have to wake up and come back to me. Be-
cause...because I can't..."
His voice suddenly broke. "Damn it, girl! You
fight this! Don't you dare give up! Don't you
goddamn dare! You're the slayer...and you
don't quit...ever! And you sure as hell don't let
a vampire do this to you! Now...fight! FIGHT, DAMN
IT. FIGHT..."
He had thought he'd known what pain was,
but he realized now that he didn't even
know the meaning of the word.
Any hurt he'd ever experienced before, both
before and after being turned, was nothing
compared to the agony of watching as the
girl he loved slipped further out of his reach.
"I'll fight with you, Buffy, but you...you have to
help me. You...Buffy, I love you...I need you.
I just..."
With those choked words, Spike finally lost
whatever modicum of control he'd been clinging
to by his fingertips.
Sick with pain and grief, he buried his face
against her side and cried harder than he'd
ever cried before. Harsh, painful tears racked
his entire body.
"No," he moaned. "No, no, no...not her. Please
not her...I'll do anything...anything..."
"Don't cry."
The sound was so weak that he nearly mis-
sed hearing it in the force of his tears.
He raised his head, almost afraid to hope.
"Buffy? Baby? Can you hear me?"
"S-Spike...?"
"I'm here, baby. I'm holding your hand." He
squeezed it gently."I'm right here."
She was struggling to keep her eyes open,
trying to speak.
"What is it, baby? I'm listening." Spike
said, smoothing her hair back from her
face.
A small sigh escaped her lips. "Love you...love
you so...much...always...it's you...there's
only...you..."
He had waited so long to hear this, had ima-
gined the words she would use, whether she
would be bold or shy in telling him.
Over and over again, he'd pictured it in his
mind, down to the smallest detail.
Where would she tell him? How would she
tell him? And most of all...WHEN would she
tell him?
All this made for some truly wonderful dreams.
But, as sweet as those dreams had been, the
reality was ever so much sweeter.
"I love you, too, sweetheart," he said, smiling
down at her as she tried to focus. "I love...Buffy!"
He stopped cold when he saw her eyes begin
to drift shut. "Honey, no! Keep your eyes open!
Don't go back to sleep! BUFFY!" he shouted.
"Stop that right now!"
Spike whipped his head around, glaring
at a nurse standing at the foot of the bed.
She glared right back at him. "How did you
get in here?" she demanded.
"Get out!" he snarled angrily, turning back
to Buffy and seeing that her eyes were com-
pletely closed. "Damn it!" he swore softly, then
raised his voice. "Buffy!"
"Stop shouting at her and leave this room,
or I'll call security and they'll make you
leave the hard way."
Suppressing another angy growl, Spike
assumed a more protective posture over
his lover.
"I'm warning you." The nurse took a step
closer.
A red haze clouded Spike's vision, and his
demon began struggling to emerge, sensing
a need to defend it's mate.
"Go..away..now!" he said, a hint of threat in
his tone.
"I am NOT going to tell you again! Leave!"
Fear for Buffy, coupled with anger at this
interference, finally pushed Spike's frustration
level to it's absolute limit.
Logically, he knew the nurse was just trying
to protect her patient from someone she
saw as a threat, but he couldn't let that alter
his course. He had to get rid of this bitch,
and concentrate on the slayer.
And he only knew one way to do it.
Eyes blazing with golden fire, the demon
broke through. Spike waited for the trans-
formation to be complete, for his fangs to
emerge, for his face to become the stuff of
nightmares.
When it was done, he began to turn around,
wanting to frighten this colossal pain in his
ass into an early grave.
But before he could do it, he felt a small hand
on his cheek, preventing him from turning
his head.
"No," Buffy said, looking up at him through
impossibly beautiful eyes. "Don't look at her.
Look at me. There's only me."
"There's only you," Spike repeated automa-
tically, forcing the demon to stand down.
"Buffy..." She slipped her hand behind his
neck, tugging weakly until he lowered his head
beside hers on the pillow. "Oh, god...baby..."
"Shh," she hushed him softly. "S' all right.
You're home now...everything's all right."
"Yeah," he said, pressing his lips against her
cheek. "I'm home...and I'm never letting you
out of my sight again."
Buffy stroked and petted him, then looked at
the nurse. "It's okay," she said. "I want him
here." He lifted his head and looked into
her eyes. "This is...where he belongs."
The nurse pulled a chart from it's slot on
the wall. "All right," she said. "I'll page
Dr. Daley and let him know you're awake."
Before she left the room, she turned to
Spike. "No more shouting."
He gave Buffy a rueful look. "You know, the
whole world is gonna come rushing in that
door in a few seconds."
"I know." Her voice was a little stronger. "But
then they'll leave...and we'll be the whole world."
Spike felt all the pent up tension and nausea
inducing fear begin to fade away, and he leaned
over to kiss her cheek again.
"God, Buffy," he said quietly. "I don't think I've
ever been as scared as I was at the thought
of losing you...of you being hurt like this."
"How did you know?"
"Uh...Xander. He found me. Never did tell me
how." Spike chuckled. "Stupid git almost got
himself eaten, coming into a vamp bar with
his bare face hanging out."
Buffy smiled. "Don't make me laugh. I've got
the worst headache."
"I imagine you do." He became suddenly
serious. "This was all my fault."
When his gaze dropped away from hers, she
cupped his chin in her hand and made him look
at her. "No, it wasn't."
Spike swallowed. "Buffy...if I hadn't left...if I
had just..."
He knew now that he would never have been
able to stay away. Not for long. Sooner or later,
the need to see her...to hear her voice...to hold
her in his arms...would have overwhelmed his
resolve not to return.
She had far too strong a hold on his heart.
It had taken this whole awful experience to firmly
drive home the fact that any life without Buffy
was unbearable...and he wanted no part of it.
"If I had...told you how much I love you...none of
this would have happened. I...set this in motion.
Not...you." He tried to speak, but she placed
a gentle finger against his lips. "Just...promise
me..."
"Anything, baby," he vowed.
"No matter what happens..if we fight..or
scream..or I say horrible things...promise
you'll never leave me...again."
Spike smiled, tucking a lock of her hair
behind her ear, a tender gesture that would
have once been completely foreign to him.
"What a relief," he teased. "I thought you were
gonna ask something hard."
"Promise..."
"I promise." He leaned closer. "You know me,
honey...I'm the long haul guy."
"Kiss me."
When his lips were almost touching hers, he
paused. "Tell me you love me."
"I love you...love you."
He kissed her...and the door flew open...and
the whole world rushed in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xander stood by the door, watching everyone
fuss over Buffy.
Spike sat next to her on the bed, holding her
hand tightly in his, refusing to move even when
the doctor examined her.
She was out of intensive care and was currently
occupying a room on the medical floor. Typically,
she'd begun to pester the doctors about letting
her go home.
Xander had already spoken with her. He'd
leaned over the bed and accepted her kiss on
his cheek and soft "Thank you" whispered in
his ear.
Spike had squeezed his shoulder and spoken
quietly. "I owe you. You need anything...you see
me first."
Only half listening to the chatter in the room,
Xander sent a final thanks of his own heaven-
ward.
Remembering that he had one more thing to
do, he slipped unnoticed from the room and
headed for the payphone.
This time, the call was answered after one ring.
"Hi, it's me...Yeah, I did...He's here with her
now...They said she's gonna be fine...Oh, yeah
I'd say so...Very happy...Do you want me to
tell her that...Okay...Someday, though...I will...Of
course, I promise...No, man, thank YOU...Hey,
how's Cordelia?...You're kidding...Well, that's
great...You tell her I said hello....Yeah, you
too...Bye."
He hung up the phone and returned to Buffy's
room.
"All right, young lady," he said loudly. "You
want to explain yourself...letting some stupid
vampire get the drop on you. Relax, Spike...I
meant the other stupid vampire.'
There was a burst of laughter as the door
swung slowly closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Three weeks later....)
"You sure you're ready for this?"
"Sure, I'm sure. You know I heal fast.
And besides," Buffy grinned. "You're with
me and you won't let me get hurt."
"You've got that right, gorgeous," he
agreed, smiling back at her. "No vampire's
gonna make a midnight snack out of MY
girl...except for me, of course."
"Oh, aren't you funny?"
"I've always thought so. Hey, give me a kiss
and tell me again."
Buffy stopped walking and stepped into
Spike's waiting arms. Raising her face, she
said, "I love you," then kissed him long and
hard.
After a minute, she nudged him away. "Some-
times you forget that I need to breathe once
in a while."
Spike laughed. "Is that right? Well, take a
deep breath, baby, cause I'm not even close
to stopping."
Sliding his arms around her waist, he lifted her
until her feet left the ground, capturing her
mouth with a fierce and unending hunger.
After several feverish kisses, Buffy's toes
once again made contact with the wet grass.
"Had enough?" she asked.
Spike shook his head. "Oh, hell no. I can
never have enough. But I'll stop for now so we
can get finished here and go home."
Home for them both now, was a small house
on Revello Drive.
They walked along quietly, weaving in and out
amongst the tombstones, until Buffy broke the
silence.
"Thank you again for my ring," she said,
tilting her hand to make the diamond glitter
in the moonlight. "It's so beautiful."
"You're welcome, sweetheart," Spike replied,
lifting her hand and kissing it. "I'm glad you like
it."
"Like it? I love it!" she declared. "Haven't you
noticed that I never take it off?"
"Good." His voice was proud, and a little
possessive. "I want every man you meet to know
that you're taken."
"Every night," she added with a sassy smile.
"Smart ass," he said fondly, giving her a light
swat on the behind.
She giggled. "Can't imagine where I might
have learned....HEY! I know YOU!"
Spike followed her gaze, and saw a heavy
set vampire leaning against the marble wall
of a mausoleum. "Don't tell me..."
"That's him," Buffy replied.
The vampire straightened up and strolled
towards them with an air of pure arrogance.
"Slayer! I heard you were still alive. You
got lucky that night, I was a little off my game."
"Is that a fact?" Buffy asked, one hand on her
hip.
"It won't happen again, girlie." The vampire
gave Spike a dismissive once over and grinned.
"This one won't be able to help you either."
Spike stared at the other vampire, amazed at
his audacity. "You MUST be new in town."
Ignoring him, the vampire kept his eyes on
Buffy. "You shouldn't have come looking for
me, Slayer. But since you did, I'm gonna
finish what I started."
"Do tell," Buffy said.
"I'm gonna break you apart, little girl," he
said. "I'll pull your heart from your chest
and swallow it whole...then I'll wash it down
with every last drop of your blood." His
voice rose in volume and triumph. "The
blood...of the SLAYER!"
There was a short silence.
Spike sighed, rolling his eyes. "Oh, the drama
of it all." He looked at Buffy. "Tell me I never
sounded like THAT."
She smiled and shook her head. "Of course not,
baby," she said. "You're the Big Bad...not some
fat sack of demon-wanna be that's too stupid
to keep his mouth shut and his fly zipped. Not that
there's much to see," she added, staring the vamp
right in the pants.
The vampire glanced down at himself, then
back at Buffy. "You ready to die, Slayer?"
She gazed up at Spike, a question in her eyes.
Hesitating a moment, he released her hand. "Oh,
all right...go and play. Just don't drag it out," he
requested. "I think it's gonna rain, so kill him quick
and lets go home."
Buffy's eyes sparkled. "I can do quick."
Spike watched as the vampire pulled a crow
bar from beneath his coat. "Hang on," he
said, catching her arm. "On second thought,
make it hurt. And before you finish him...shove
that thing up his ass."
Buffy's smile grew wider. "Be right back." Turning
on one heel, she took a running jump at the
vampire. "Let's do it, big mouth!"
Spike folded his arms across his chest and
leaned back against a tree, watching the show.
No matter how many times he saw it, he never
got tired of watching Buffy work.
A few moments later, the silence of the
graveyard was split in two by a howl of pure
agony.
Spike winced, shaking his head. "Now THAT
looked like it hurt."
TBC....(the NC-17 part)
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