Spike sobbed into her arms as she rocked them gently, his hands everywhere at once, needing to feel, needing to understand that this was real.
“I love you” she whispered softly, causing the sobs racking his body to increase.
“I love you” she repeated again and again, knowing just how desperately he needed to hear those words, how badly he needed to feel it from her, feel it, and trust it.
She just held him like that for hours, his sobs barely decreasing, his hands never stopping their worship. All the while she held him, soothed him as best she could, and then a horrible thought struck her and she lifted his face to hers.
“Did you…not want this?”
His sobs got louder and he clutched her harder, “S’all I ever wanted Buffy.”
“Me too Spike.”
She was covered in his tears and their sweat, his blood still staining her lips, the taste of it, of him, still on her tongue.
“You don’t know what you’ve done Buffy” he mumbled into her shoulder.
“I’m tired of people telling me I don’t know what I’m doing Spike.”
“There’s no way out for you now”
She sighed into his skin, “There never was Spike, but there was always you.”
His tears didn’t stop, nor did his shaking but his hands found a new purpose as they cradled her gently while he picked her up and laid her out on the bed, slowly and carefully, as if this was an illusion that would shatter should he take one more un-needed breath.
His hands ghosted over her and the moment was hauntingly beautiful, “There are no ghosts here Spike”
“No, not ghosts” he mumbled, “Dreams and hopes and perfect bliss, but no ghosts.”
She closed her eyes and sighed at the soft touches, could feel his eyes on her, warming her as his blood had done.
“Reality too Spike, don’t forget that this is real, don’t you ever forget.”
His lips were on hers then, biting, licking, nipping, pressing and oh god, the things he was doing to her, the things she’d denied herself for so long.
He pressed a knee between her legs and she arched into it, needing something to ease the pressure building up inside her, needing him.
“When did you know you loved me?” he whispered against her skin, the gentle thrusting of his hips lifting her high.
“I think a part of me has loved you since the day you clapped from the shadows…you knew the thrill of the fight, saw the darkness in me and embraced it, accepted it…the rest came later, built up slowly. I didn’t want to see it.”
His mouth found her pulse point, his hand her breast, “Why?”
She arched into his touch, grinding back into him, conversation becoming harder to stay focused on but she knew he needed this, deserved it.
“Even when we were trying to kill each other it wasn’t because we had to, or even because we wanted to, it was because too much energy causes chaos, and we had energy…”
A finger dipped into her pussy and she cried out his name.
“Energy without an outlet is explosive and we couldn’t fight what we were or what we wanted but we could fight each other, and so we did.”
“I loved you the moment I saw you writhing on the dance floor in the Bronze, with your little friends who could never understand the power and the beauty you surround them with…but I understand Buffy.”
She kissed him softly and continued, “Our energy was never meant to be destructive William.”
She heard him gasp at the use of his almost forgotten name and clutched him tighter, “We made it perverse instead of pure, but there’s still some time left to fix this.”
“All the time in the world Buffy, if you give it to me.” It was a plea she knew, a plea for her to never die.
“The time I do have is yours Spike.”
A small growl tore from his mouth an instant before his cock slid into her along with his fangs.
The pace was languid, as were the pulls of blood, she would let him drink his full.
Her legs wrapped around his back to pull him in deeper when she felt her muscles begin to clench.
“Cum with me Buffy, please…”
“Always” she answered softly, her voice shaky and she did.
When she felt him erupt inside her she let go.
Let go of the past and all of the pain it held, let go of her self imposed notions of superiority that had seemingly been beaten into her because of her calling and let go of her fear; that aching fear that came with the knowledge that your own heart didn’t even belong to you anymore. She let go, and gave her heart to him.
She heard the roared “mine” as his hips pumped into her furiously now and bit down on the mark she had left on him only hours before, “yours” she acquiesced, completing the claim. She herself now more complete than ever.
When he finally had the strength to lift himself up he cupped her face in his hands, “My girl now” he purred out.
She smiled, “Always have been haven’t I?”
He could only nod and give a little smirk, “In my world we’re married y’know” he said, nuzzling her nose with his own.
“Then that’s the world I want to be in.”
“Just the three of us, yeah?”
“Three?”
“You, me and Nibblet, a real family.”
“Yes, a family.” She agreed, eyes misting at the love this strange vampire held for the Summers girls.
“I wish Joyce could have been here to see us end up together, I always suspected she knew that this was going to happen, even when I doubted it myself…” His eyes got a faraway look in them.
“Come back Spike.” Buffy whispered.
“She was a real lady, reminded me of my own Mum.”
“I would have loved her.”
“She loved you.”
Buffy frowned, “I never met your mother Spike.”
He ran a hand along her face, “Didn’t have to pet, she knew you were out there waiting for me to find you.”
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