“Let’s take a drive,” said Gunn the second he found Buffy in the kitchen that evening. She nodded, waved goodbye to Xander, and quickly followed him out to the car.
They sat in silence, the tension between them so thick Buffy could practically feel it tickling her skin. They drove for about ten minutes until they got to a secluded park, and Gunn squealed into a parking spot and leapt out of the car, walking away so quickly Buffy nearly had to run on her shorter legs to keep up.
“Okay, so what do you want to talk about?” he said brusquely once he stopped near a huge oak tree.
“After I talked to you I overheard Fred and Spike talking and the two of them are plotting with Xander to bring down Angelus,” Buffy rushed out the words in one breath.
He stared at her for a moment. “Are you serious?”
“I heard them! And I still didn’t get a chance to tell you about what happened last night, I locked up all these files with tons of evidence on Angelus. It’s for real, Gunn.”
“Buffy, think about it logically, They could be playing you, you could have misunderstood, they could be setting us up—“
“They’re NOT,” Buffy insisted. “They had no idea I was listening, I swear it. And I know what I heard.” He still looked skeptical. “Look, I know you’re mad at me, okay? I’d be mad at me too. And…I don’t really know why I did what I did. But I’m not lying. Let’s just meet with Giles, okay? Please?” She held her breath as she waited for his response.
“Okay,” he finally said. “And my news is that the deal with Walsh is supposed to get settled day after tomorrow.”
“Well that means Spike won’t go to the authorities before then,” Buffy said. “He wants to have the evidence from that deal. Do you have any idea what it’s about yet?”
“Drugs, what else?” he shrugged. “Her pharm company had some newly developed depression drug that went bad, made people just a little too happy, and Angelus is buying the formula and all the existing samples. I think he’s releasing it into the market in New York.”
Buffy sighed. “It’s always drugs, seriously.”
“I called Giles when I got your message earlier,” Gunn said. “He can’t see us before tomorrow afternoon, we’re meeting him at three.”
“Oh good,” she said. “He’ll know what we should do.”
There was an awkward silence between the two, then they both spoke at the same time.
“Look, Buffy, I don’t—“
“Gunn, I really want you—“
They laughed uncomfortably, and Gunn said, “You go first.”
“I really want you to understand I wasn’t trying to hurt you, or lie to you, I never would, and I wish you trusted me” she said sincerely. “I…it just happened, I gave into temptation, and—“
“Buffy,” Gunn interrupted. “I do trust you, I think we’ve known each other too long to just forget that, and I reacted badly, and I know that. I just…I don’t trust him, okay? He’s the bad guy. And I don’t know if you do—“
“I do.”
“---but if you do, I think you’re wrong about him, and I’m only going to do what I need to do for my job, to do what’s right. I hope you’re with me.”
Buffy was quiet for a moment, then said in a low voice, “I never planned to abandon my job. That’s my priority.”
“Okay,” he sighed. “At least it’ll be over soon, if you’re right. Let’s just leave it alone for now then, okay?”
She acquiesced and the two walked back to the car, and drove back to the mansion. The tension was somewhat lessened, and at least it was more tolerable for both of them now.
They parked at the house when Gunn got another urgent call from Angelus’s people.
“I swear, it’s like I’m their loyal dog or something,” he muttered. “For sure we’re meeting Giles at three tomorrow, though, but I’ll call you if I won’t be back tonight.”
Buffy nodded and got out of the truck, and watched him drive away immediately. The second she entered the house, she was intercepted by Spike.
“Buffy, I could use your help upstairs again,” he said seriously, beckoning her to follow him. She followed willingly, mentally arguing with herself as to whether or not she’d be really working.
She wouldn’t be. The second she entered his bedroom she gasped, and he locked the door behind her. The entire room was filled with candles, and soft, romantic music was playing.
“Oh my God,” she smiled. “You are such a dork.”
“Not really the response I was going for, love,” he pouted.
“No, no, I didn’t mean that,” Buffy corrected herself. “Just…seriously, all is this for me?”
“No, of course not,” he said sarcastically. “I just like to sleep in a fire hazard. You said you wanted a bed!”
She giggled, and turned to face him. “It’s beautiful, William.”
As always, his name on her lips created an instant reaction in Spike’s soul and body. He moved closer and slid his arms around her waist.
As Buffy stared up into his eyes, she realized this was the first time in which she felt truly comfortable in his presence. There was no guilt or fear or resistance when she leaned in to kiss him. She knew him. She knew he was a good man, or wanting to become one, and she knew the secrets that he was trying to protect her from. But he didn’t truly know who she was or what she was doing, he didn’t know her own secrets, and that broke her heart.
Their kiss was slow, and heated, and unlike any way they’d ever bonded before. There was no longer the underlying layer of impossibility, but a feeling of opportunity, and of perhaps, inevitability. There was no hurry, or desperation, or roughness. As they kissed and let their hands roam each other’s bodies, they were content with the here and now.
Everything moved at an agonizingly slow, but passionate, pace as they undressed and explored each other. They fell naked to the bed, enjoying each other’s bodies in this infinite expanse of time they hadn’t been granted before. Flesh on flesh created sheens of sweat and sparks of electricity, and with every touch of tongues to lips and body parts, their hunger for each other grew.
When Spike finally sank into Buffy it was like coming home, it was the final nail in their coffins, the final step into a world from which both realized they could never return. They moved slowly and surely, perfectly in sync, their pleasure building together and feeding each other. They didn’t speak, they could only breathe and pant and moan, faster and faster and faster, until they melted into each other, bliss binding them together, and came in unison as they whispered each other’s names like prayers.
Then, they talked. Neither bothered to glance at a clock as the conversation flowed smoothly and easily. Every time Buffy had to lie, she could feel a pinprick of pain in her heart, but with every slight thing he confessed to her, it faded. He talked about his childhood, she spoke of hers. Their beings became intertwined as they shared all they could---and Buffy knew what she shared wasn’t enough.
She fell asleep there, against her better judgment, curled into his side, head on his chest, with his arms wrapped protectively around her. She could have sworn, in the last second before she sank into oblivion, that Spike had whispered, “I’m falling in love with you.”
If she had still been conscious, she would have responded in kind.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Woohoo! Thank you so much to Shadowsbabe for nominating me for the Spuffy Awards, Round 14 for Best Spike Characterization, Best Fantasty 'We Missed the Bed, Again' and Best Fantasy Saga. I'm so so so excited. Not bad for my first fic, eh? Thanks for all your reviews, it's looking like there will be at LEAST ten more chapters, so don't get too comfortable...