Shortly after Buffy left him dwelling on his idiocy, Spike received more visitors, although far less welcome ones. They read him his rights, they shoved him into a waiting car, and drove him to the LAPD precinct, where he was stuck alone in a cell with nothing but his regrets to keep him company while he waited to meet his fate.
Buffy rode in silence in the back of Snyder’s car, her entire body tense, her thoughts jumbled. Xander occasionally patted her knee awkwardly in a lame attempt at comfort, an attempt that did nothing to quell her apprehension and anger. Gunn kept glancing at her over the back of the front seat, an unreadable expression in his eyes, but she just chose to ignore it and stew in her own self-loathing.
Her life was not supposed to turn out this way. She was supposed to become an amazing agent, a la Sydney Bristow or something, make a splash, save the world, then fall in love with a good-hearted civil servant like herself, have the 2.5 kids and the yard and the good life. And die. Eventually.
She was not supposed to risk everything she had and everything she’d worked for on an ambiguously evil criminal mastermind who didn’t even love her back anyway.
Spike’s hardened eyes in the hospital haunted her. She’d thought he’d be mad, she thought he’d be hurt, but for one second she hadn’t even contemplated that he was done with her entirely. That he thought she’d faked her feelings for him. That he hated her now. That it was over.
Gunn whispered to her not to stress out too much, it would all be fine, as she followed him and Snyder to an interrogation room in Xander’s precinct. Problem was, he clearly didn’t believe his own platitudes. She shrugged off his effort at reassurance and took a seat on the side of the table she’d never expected to be on, her stomach feeling unnaturally queasy. She folded her hands in front of her and bowed her head, the perfect embodiment of regret and shame.
“Well, Summers,” Snyder grinned sadistically, taking far too much pleasure in the mess he was dealing with. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I know there isn’t a lot I can really say,” Buffy shrugged honestly. “My behavior is inexcusable, and I know that, I do. All I can say is that I was really trying to do the right thing, and my judgment may have been sort of… off, but my heart was in the right place.”
Emotions and intention were of no concern to Ralph Snyder. He cared little about the personal lives of his agents, unless he had a particular fondness for them, in which case they could literally get away with murder. Buffy was not one of his favorites. In fact, he’d seemed to form an instant dislike of her upon first meet for no reason. She knew even if she had done every single thing right on this mission, he would still have found a way to reprimand her. Considering she’d screwed up so royally, she held no hope that things would turn out in her favor.
“Well, that’s just not good enough, is it? The only thing keeping you out of jail right now is that security tapes from the hotel show you were most likely not the person who shot Rupert Giles. I repeat, most likely. I wouldn’t put it past you to have snuck in some other way.”
“I swear on my mother’s grave I didn’t,” Buffy said firmly, relief flooding her body that at least that particular horror was done with.
“I’m sure you do. That doesn’t excuse your running from the scene, however. Or your theft of a car, and your continued evasion of your responsibilities is the issue.”
“I know. But, I wasn’t really evading my responsibilities, I was just…going about them a different way?”
Gunn said, “May I speak on Buffy’s behalf?”
“Not yet, Charles. I’ll be getting to you soon, though. Taking Grace out of custody was so far out of line---“
“You did that?” Buffy asked in surprise, her gratitude showing on her tired face. “I thought it must have been Xander.”
Gunn shrugged. “We needed to find you. He could help. And I’m sorry, Mr. Snyder. I did what needed to be done to save Buffy.”
“Buffy was fine.”
“Buffy was drugged and on the way to crazy town! Buffy was getting smacked around!” Not a fan of talking about herself in the third person, and realizing she needed to calm down, the blonde took a deep breath and said, “Look, sir, I fully admit what I did was wrong, and am willing to take the punishments that you consider necessary. I’d just like to point out that while my motives were…” She fumbled for a word.
“Spurious?” Gunn supplied helpfully.
“Yes, right, spurious. Ultimately we did get Angelus in custody, didn’t we? And with a remarkable amount of evidence we wouldn’t have had if not for William Grace.”
“Ms. Summers---“
“No, please, let me finish. I know that those files are seriously incriminating. But Spike---Grace---was planning to turn himself in for the greater good. I think that needs to be taken into account before you completely reject the deal he had with the LAPD.”
“The FBI takes precedence over the local police, their ridiculous deal is null and void.”
“But you could give him a similar one!” Buffy’s voice rose up an octave as she got worked up. Regardless of the fact that it seemed any feelings for her had dissipated, the image of that man in a jail cell tore at her sanity. “You could recreate the same terms, or make them a little stricter, if you want. But Spike clearly wanted—“
“Why are you so concerned with Grace’s future?” Snyder interrupted suspiciously.
At that, Buffy finally realized Gunn had not revealed her relationship with Spike to their superior, and shot him a grateful look. She smoothly said, “I just…I think he really is trying to turn around, and he has made the necessary steps to do so. And I don’t think you should let his previous behavior over shadow the good he’s trying to do now!”
“So all the crimes he’s previously committed? The murders he had a hand in, the money he stole, the damage he’s inflicted on others. That should be ignored because he suddenly changes his mind and said, I want to be a good boy now?” Snyder’s sneer took over his entire face. “That is deeply stupid and naive, Ms. Summers. That is not the kind of attitude we need in our agents.”
“What are you planning to do with him?” Gunn asked, giving Buffy a moment to recover from her outburst.
“That’s really none of your concern. We’ll see how helpful he really can be. If he has information that leads us to arrests other than just Liam Angelus, than maybe, he’ll see the free world again before he reaches forty five.”
Buffy was silent and still as the full weight of his words hit her with the force of a thousand bricks. “I think that’s ridiculous,” she finally spat out.
“Well, luckily, it’s not your decision to make. Someone with your particular…attributes will never rise to the position where you hold that kind of power.”
“Buffy is good agent, sir,” Gunn came to her defense.
“I have to say I disagree, very, very, intensely.”
“Whatever her punishment is, I want to request that she is kept on this case until it’s closed. She has the knowledge and the background, no one else can help me finish this like she can.”
Snyder sighed. “While I’d love to suspend her, effective immediately, I can’t disagree with that. After this case is closed, though, Ms. Summers, I’d be surprised if you enter the field again for years.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay for timely updates. Thank you so much to my loyal readers and reviewers, it's great to know there are so many people desperate to find out what happens in this story! Please, keep letting me know what you think!