It wasn’t a beautiful, typical, happy southern California day. Nor was it dark and dreary, foretelling danger with rain and wind. You couldn’t really find the symbolism in the day’s weather. It was uncomfortably warm and dry, but the sun was shielded by a heavy cloud, putting the world in a muted, strangled, yet still bright and harsh light.
Spike emerged from the prison and blinked up at the sun. His hair had nearly grown out, just the very tips were still his memorable white blonde. The rest was curly and light brown, hanging down his forehead and into his tired eyes. His face was drawn, dark circles shadowed his eyes, and a few new wrinkles had etched themselves into his skin. He was dressed in a wrinkled suit from the last day of his court proceedings, shirt half unbuttoned, jacket and tie slung over one arm.
He walked forward quickly, heading for the yellow cab he saw at the end of the long, fenced in cement walkway. He reached it, extended one hand to open the door, when a voice from his right stopped him.
“Hey, stranger,” Buffy smiled, leaning against the chain link fence.
He stared at her as if she was a mirage, a hallucination, a vision he desperately wanted to believe in but wouldn’t allow himself to, not without confirmation, not without proof. “Buffy?” He said hopefully.
“What, don’t you recognize me?” She joked as she walked towards him. She was slightly awkward, hesitant in her movements, as if she wasn’t sure what his response to her would be.
He would recognize her anywhere. The hair was longer, a darker blonde. The tan had faded. She was wearing glasses.
But her eyes, her smile, her grace. Those were things he could never forget. He’d recognize her beauty anywhere, anytime.
Buffy stopped her approach a few feet from him, and he just stared at her, speechless, unblinking.
“I think you can leave,” she bent down and said into the open cab window. “Sorry, thanks.” The driver muttered his dissatisfaction with a swear word and sped off, tires squealing.
“I’m still mad at you, you know,” she finally said, crossing her arms, when it was clear Spike wasn’t going to speak first. “Just because I came to pick you up doesn’t mean I’m not mad.”
“I assumed,” he sighed.
“You wouldn’t see me.”
“I know.”
“You wouldn’t even talk to me.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
“Start off with the hard questions, don’t you, pet?” Spike shrugged, fiddling with the tie he held.
“If I didn’t want to see you, I wouldn’t have tried. I drove out to this damn prison five times, William Grace, and you wouldn’t see me. You owe me for gas, first of all, but seriously? What the hell is your problem?”
In a soft voice, he said, “I didn’t want you to see me like that. You shouldn’t have seen me like that.” He bowed his head and stared down at the dirty ground.
Buffy was quiet for a moment. She finally said, “You’re stupid.”
He looked up sharply, a little hurt, “Thanks, you’re sweet.”
“No, I mean,” she sighed. “That’s stupid. No, I do mean you’re stupid.”
“Again, thanks.”
“So, what, you thought if I saw you in jail I’d suddenly change my mind? Because you were in an orange jumpsuit I’d suddenly realize you were a criminal, like I didn’t know that already?”
“Something like that. Yeah, I know, you think I’m stupid.” His gaze returned to the ground.
“You—“
“But I couldn’t handle it, pet. If I was in there, and you came to visit me, and you looked at me…and didn’t like what you saw, it would have killed me. I had to let you go.”
“Well, I haven’t gone anywhere.”
“I can see that.”
“I missed you. I wanted to see you, don’t you think I should have gotten to make the decision?”
“I was maybe mad at you. A little.” He glanced at her to see her reaction.
Buffy frowned. “Mad at me?”
“You ruined your life, pet. For me. I couldn’t…bloody hell, I couldn’t handle it. I’ll disappoint you, I will, and you---”
“You are such an idiot. I was going to be fired anyway, probably. I didn’t lose anything more important to me than you.”
“But I—“
“But nothing! You should have talked to me about it. I could have explained. There are two people in this relationship, you know.”
“We’re in a relationship?” Spike said eagerly.
“Well, duh,” Buffy sighed, then her lower lip pushed itself out in an adorable pout. “I mean…well, do you want to be?’
He didn’t need to respond with words. The remaining gap between them was closed, and he claimed her as his own with a sweet, searing kiss full of promise. They separated when oxygen became an issue, and Spike crushed her into a hug.
“Buffy, my Buffy,” he murmured into her hair, stroking her back softly. “I dreamed of you every night, you know that? Every single sodding night. You’re all I bloody thought about. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see you, I didn’t want to be selfish, I wanted you to have better than me, I didn’t want—“
“Spike, shut up,” she said into his chest, her voice breaking.
“Baby, are you crying? Please, don’t cry, please,” he soothed, wiping away a tear with his calloused thumb. She calmed down, and he smiled, “Your eyes are pretty when you cry, though. All bright and shining.”
“Maybe you should make me cry more often.”
“Never,” he growled, his grip on her tightening. “I’ll never make you cry again.”
“That’s a pretty big promise,” she teased. “I mean, we both know you’re far from perfect. And you know, I don’t think I’d want you to be all perfect guy with the whole not making me cry thing anyway.”
“You can’t honestly want me to make you cry.”
“Well, no, but….crying means you matter to me.”
“So I do matter?”
“No, I drove all the way out here because you’re meaningless.” She rolled her eyes at him.
“I was just asking! You really are such a saucy little---“
“I love you.”
He snapped his mouth shut instantly, staring at her with awe and wonder darkening his eyes. “Come again?”
“I love you.” When he didn’t reply right away, her face fell, and she tried to pull away. “Um, okay, I—“
Spike retained his grip on her waist and kissed her sweetly, gently, swallowing her momentary embarrassment. “I love you too.” He pecked her on the nose, and laughed, finding the tension he’d lived with for years starting to melt from his body.
Buffy placed both of her hands on his cheeks and pulled his head towards her, pouring ten months of waiting and wanting into a soulful kiss. Groaning into her mouth, Spike grasped her ass with one hand and pulled her body tightly to his, lacing his fingers through her hair and pushing her back towards the fence.
Once her back hit the chain link, Buffy’s arms were lifted over her head and she grasped the fence tightly as her body was explored with light, yet possessive caresses. Whimpering as Spike pulled away to breathe, she brought one hand down from above her head and lightly traced the outline of his lips as he panted and gazed at her with an almost feral gleam in his eyes.
As he opened his mouth to speak, to tell her just what he’d dreamed of doing to her for months, just what had kept him company during the long nights, a catcall came from down the sidewalk, and both glanced to see a guard making lewd gestures towards them.
Spike growled and shielded Buffy’s body with his, but she just giggled.
“You are going to come home with me, and we’re not getting out of bed until…tomorrow afternoon. Is that clear?” She said sternly, poking his chest with one finger, staring up at him with unparalleled happiness evident on her face.
His smile was far brighter than the sun that shone down on them, and filled her heart to bursting. “Crystal.”
And that's that. Thanks again to all of my readers, and I'm going to beg a bit for reviews. If you've been leaving them all along, or if you haven't, or if you just found this story for the first time and read it all the way through, I'd love love love to know what you think!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
And here is the conclusion of my first ever Buffy fan fic story. I cannot tell you all how much it means to me that so many people have been reading and reviewing. The response has been so much more than I had ever imagined, and I wish I could individually thank each and every person who's read, reviewed, emailed me, or helped me get the story to where I wanted it to be. THANK YOU! Hope the last chapter is everything you all hoped it would be. Oh, and I know there are some questions left unanswered, but isn't it fun with a little mystery left at the end? And a sequel? Not entirely out of the question...