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Banner by the Awesome C.C.


Author's Chapter Notes:
DEFINITION

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“Are you sure?”

“Positive hun” Willow responded for the third time with a warm smile, “it doesn’t work that way. The demon is gone, so are the demon’s powers. Spike can’t have any vampire hearing, sight, strength-none of it.”

“But…” Buffy scrunched her forehead “could he maybe still have some demon in him?”

Willow shook her head at her friend, the slayer, and her rather dim understanding of vampirism. “No, it’s an all or nothing situation. A vampire is a human body being used by a demon, an entire whole demon. That demon is dead; you got back the body and the human soul.”

“Will, I swear he knew that vamp was there before I did. He must have heard it or smelled something…”

“Is that what he says?”

Buffy frowned at her. “He says he just knew, like it doesn’t require any explanation. I don’t think he even realizes how weird it was. When I pushed he said that he might have heard something, but…”

“You didn’t.” Willow supplied.

“No.”

“Well maybe you were just distracted,” she grinned “maybe you were distracted by Spike. It seems like he could be a pretty… big distraction.”

“Willow!” Buffy grinned. “I’ll acknowledge there was some…distractyness, but he was too, it was definitely… mutual.”

“What’s mutual?” Spike walked into the living room to find Buffy and Willow giggling on the couch.

Buffy blushed. “Our umm…”

“desire to hit the stores before I head back to Scotland. We’re both in dire need of some shoe shopping therapy.” Willow finished with an impish grin.

Spike shook his head. “Never understood that thing with birds and shoes.”

“So Buffy was just telling me about your patrolling adventures last night.”

“Nothing too special; just a handful of vamps. Guess that last one gave our girl a bit of a fight, but otherwise…” He shrugged.

“The one you sensed.”

He shrugged again. “Yeah. She was a bit older, not a master or anything, but she probably sired the other ones.”

“Did you sense those too?”

He frowned and shook his head. “Didn’t need to…the racket they were making.”

Willow looked at Buffy, who nodded in agreement and then back towards Spike. “So any other new psychic powers?”

“Can’t pick lotto numbers for you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“But you can sense when a vampire is close?”

“Seems like.”

“Was it just the one time?” Willow pressed.

Spike frowned, bringing his eyebrows together in concentration. “Guess it happened the other night too, now that you mention it.”

Willow nodded as a light went off in her head. Of course, she thought, it absolutely made sense. She was only surprised it hadn’t occurred to her before. She smiled; she was also surprised that Buffy and Spike hadn’t figured it out. But she supposed it was probably for the best, they had enough to think about without adding this to the mix. They would have had a hard time making a go of it under any circumstances, given their history. But, she thought, the claim just made everything more complicated; they basically had to decide now if they wanted to be together for an eternity. She knew that the alternative to finalizing the claim, giving up Spike’s soul to whoever was next in line, was probably pressure enough. They didn’t need any more; they needed to decide if they actually wanted each other. Willow decided not to tell them, hoping not to complicate a decision that should be based on love alone. They deserved that, she thought fiercely, they deserve to know that they are together because of love and no other reason. Besides, she thought feeling a bit guilty over not sharing; it would be obvious once they finalized the claim anyway. If, she amended, they finalized the claim.

***********************************************************

Buffy leaned back against Spike’s chest and stretched. Willow and Giles had headed out to pick up the supplies they needed to make the claim permanent and she had enjoyed the opportunity to grab a quick nap. “Umm” she said with a smile “sleep is definitely of the good.”

Spike blinked down at her blearily. “Perhaps then you should try it for more than an hour at a time.”

She rolled over and gave him a sheepish look. “I guess I don’t really need as much sleep as normal people, part of the whole slayer package.”

He laughed softly and brushed her hair back. “Who would’ve thought I’d ever be the one you were calling normal?”

“I guess normal would be pushing it.”

He leaned in and gave a light kiss.

Buffy made a small noise of contentment before scooting to sit up against the headboard. “They should be back pretty soon.”

Spike nodded as he sat up to lean against the headboard as well. He reached over and tugged her closer. He was quiet for a moment. “Are you sure about this?”

“I love you.”

“I know Buffy.” He smiled. “But that doesn’t mean you want to be stuck with me for an eternity.”

She laughed. “Well when you put it that way…” She pretended to pull away.

“I’m serious pet. What happens when I piss you off; we both know I will at some point. I’m just too good at it not to. Or…or if you meet someone else.” He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard but didn’t look away; this was too important.

“Spike.”

“I’m not your first love Buffy; how can you be sure I’m your last?”

Buffy gave him a considering look and sighed gently. “Are you sure you won’t fall in love with someone else?”
He nodded. “You’re the one Buffy, always.”

“How can you be sure then?” She reached over and took his hand in her own, rubbing her thumb across his palm and up over his wrist.

Spike laughed softly. “Hell, that’s the only thing I am sure about in all of this. But I think it’s a bit different for me. I’ve been around a bit, pet. You’re…you’re still young. It might seem like a lovely romantic idea to get yourself all hitched up to an incredibly handsome former vampire now, but in a few years…” His shoulders slumped a little but he still smiled while he shook his head. “I have nothing Buffy; I’m no great catch.”

Buffy reached over to stroke the side of his face. “You have a good heart; that’s what I need.”

Spike frowned and looked away. He knew his girl well enough to know that this overly romantic view of the situation would fade. He just wished he knew for sure that the love that remained would be strong enough to keep her from regrets later on. Even if the best of circumstances prevailed, the situation would be challenging.

Buffy watched his anxiety with a breaking heart. “Spike, do…do you not want me to finalize the claim? Do you want me to let you go?”

“It’s not that, I just…”

She interrupted him with a finger on his lips. “Wait, there’s something I should tell you. You should know...” she sighed and bit her lip… “Willow thinks that your soul can’t be responsible for the… the things you did as a vamp. Since it wasn’t there, you know. So there’s no reason to assume that you’d…that you’d go to hell. It wasn’t really you. So if that’s the reason you’d stay…” She looked at him with frightened eyes.

“No!” Spike gripped her shoulders firmly. “That is not…God Buffy, I would rather face hell than hurt you. I just want for you to be sure.”

“I worry that you could get hurt and that if I die you would just…”

“I wouldn’t want to live anymore, not without you.”

Buffy frowned, it always sounded romantic to say you would rather die than lose your love, but as an actual literal reality it disturbed her greatly. “Spike, I…”

“Buffy, I’ve lived a long time, much longer than my fair share. I want to be with you, that’s all.” He smiled. “Besides, I intend to take good care of you. It’s not something we’re going to worry ‘bout for a good while.”

“Then it’s settled. When they get back, we do the spell?”

He nodded. “And then I’m yours” he laughed softly, “literally.”

Buffy shook her head. “No. No more so than I’m yours. I don’t care what the claim thing says Spike, I’m yours and you’re mine. We’re the same. I need you just as much.”

“Buffy…”

“No, I mean it. I wasn’t living before you came back; I was hiding or waiting. I wasn’t living. I was numb. Without you I…”

Spike smiled. “No sweetheart. You were mourning. You wouldn’t have quit; it isn’t in you. You have too many people who love you, people who you love. You’re so strong; you don’t need me.”

“I’m stronger with you.” Buffy fought to keep back her tears, it seemed like all she did lately was cry. A fact she found ridiculous given the circumstances. She was so happy; she had him back and human. But it seemed like everything was just getting dredged up. She supposed that was for the best; they couldn’t really have a fresh start with old issues still unresolved. But she also knew she was awful at this stuff. She wanted to explain that he gave her strength, that his faith in her made her believe in herself, but she couldn’t find the words. She kissed him instead and hoped that he knew her well enough to understand. “This is important. I don’t want…I don’t want a slave Spike…” she smiled gently while cupping his face in her hands “not even a willing one. I’m tired of being separate and… alone; I need a partner. I need you to be my partner. We’ll have discussions and make choices together.”

Spike nodded for a second before he started laughing.

“What?”

“So says the bossiest chit I’ve ever met.”

“Spike; I’m being serious.”

He kept laughing. “So am I love. You’re not going to stop telling me what to do and most of the time I’m just going to do what you say and…” he held up a hand to prevent her interruption “ that’s fine. It is just who we are.”

“But Spike…”

“Pet; I’m man enough to admit that you’re the boss.” He grinned devilishly. “Course if you ever feel like letting me play at being the boss; I’ve got plenty of ideas.”

He angled an eyebrow and ran his tongue across the front of his teeth leaving her no question as to what type of ideas he had.

“Spike I was being serious.” She started lamely, already feeling herself heat up.

He tugged her on to his lap. “Umm…me too.” He shifted his hips to show her just how serious he was feeling.

She gasped and gripped his shoulders tightly. “Spike.” His name came out a bit breathlessly.

He bent down and placed a soft kiss on her bottom lip before sucking it gently into his mouth. When she moaned, he shifted to make a trail of kisses along her jaw and up her throat. He stopped to whisper in her ear. “What do say pet? Feel like letting me be the boss for a bit?”





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