Completely unaware of Buffy’s inner struggles, William hurried down the stairs, a little annoyed by the interruption. He had just been about to tell Buffy how he felt about her, now he supposed it would have to wait. Of course, if he was wrong and she didn’t feel the same way about him, he figured it was a good thing since he really wasn’t in a mood for being rejected right now. Then again, when would he ever be? Sighing, he walked into the living room where his mother was waiting for him. “What’s wrong?”
Anne gestured for him to sit down, sighing when he remained standing. “There’s nothing wrong, William, I just wanted to speak with you.”
William raised a brow. “Can’t it wait? I have company.”
Smiling a little, his mother nodded. “Yes, I got the pleasure of meeting your friend. She seems like a very nice girl.”
“She is.” William hesitated, not sure of what else to say.
“William…” Anne looked at him for a moment, obviously not sure of how to go on. Then she took a deep breath. “I never asked you what really happened in school today. I would like for you to tell me.”
He was silent for a moment, not having expected something like that. Then he shrugged. “You know what happened. Got in a fight, and…”
“Yes, I am aware of that.” Anne interrupted him, a soft expression on her face. “But I have a feeling things might be a little more complicated than that. Am I correct?”
William didn’t know what to say. Anne rarely asked for his side of the story in a situation like this, and even if she would, he would just shrug it away. The truth was, he didn’t want his mother to know about the hell he had to go through every day for mainly two reasons; he didn’t want her to worry about him, and more importantly; he was ashamed. Of course, deep down he knew that he was not the one to blame for how other people treated him, but still, he wanted his mother to be proud of him. And who would be proud of having a son who was a pathetic outcast with no friends? Well, he supposed that he had one friend now. And wasn’t that bloody typical? When he finally had found someone who wasn’t ashamed of being seen in his company, it simply wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more.
Noticing his hesitation, Anne went on; “Buffy suggested that the other boy may have been the one who started the… incident. Is that true? And if that’s the case, why didn’t you say so?”
He stared at her in disbelief. “Right. Was I supposed to say anything before or after you sent me to my room?”
Anne looked ashamed for a moment. “You could have told me…”
“There’s nothing to tell!” William was starting to get annoyed. He didn’t want to have this conversation, especially not now, with Buffy waiting for him upstairs. “I screwed up, okay? Again. ‘Cause that’s what I do, right?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
For a moment, Anne looked like she might cry. Then she shook her head. “I never said that. But you never talk to me. I just want to know what’s going on with you.”
“Trust me, Mum.” William gave her a cold look. “You really don’t.”
In the meantime, Buffy was nervously pacing the room, waiting for William to return. To tell the truth, she was nearly panicking, having no idea how to act around him now. A little voice inside her head kept telling her that all she had to do was be honest with him, then everything would be okay. A part of her knew that she was being ridiculous, but she just didn’t know where to go from here. She knew exactly what she wanted, but surely William wouldn’t feel the same way? The more she thought about it, the more convinced she got. After all, he was the one who had told her how happy he was that they were friends, why would he say that if he wanted there to be more between them?
She had come to realize that he was a bit shy, though, but she had practically been stalking him since the first day they had met. He had to be at least a little bit aware of the fact that she liked him. Right? Buffy sighed. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Another disturbing idea suddenly occurred to her. What if she had been too pushy? So pushy that she had managed to scare him away? Maybe that’s why he had said that thing about being friends, to give her a polite hint that she was just wasting her time? Suddenly she didn’t know what to think.
Before she had moved to Sunnydale, Buffy would never have been this insecure. But she was not the same person anymore. Back then, she had been self-assure and confident, feeling like she really was somebody, somebody special. The kind of girl any guy should be proud of being allowed to hang with. But here, it was quite the opposite. Riley’s cruel little joke the other day had been the last straw, suddenly she felt like the most pathetic person ever. And she feared that it was just a matter of time before William would realize just how worthless she was as well.
Making up her mind, she grabbed her school bag and headed for the door. Just as she reached for the handle, the door opened and William was standing in front of her, a surprised look on his face. “Are you leaving?”
Buffy opened her mouth, then closed it again, having no idea what to say. Finally, she nodded. “Yeah, I should get going. It’s getting late, and…” She glanced at her watch. It was four-thirty. Blushing, she finished with a shrug; “I don’t wanna be late for dinner. My mom would freak out.”
“Oh.” William looked disappointed. “What about the project?”
“The project?” Buffy looked at him in confusion before silently cursing herself for her stupidity. “Right, the project! Um, how about we meet up again tomorrow? Then we can decide, you know, who should do what.” She forced a smile. “I bet we’ll get an A on this.”
He gave her an uncertain look. “Buffy, is something wrong?”
“No! Why would you think…?” Buffy stopped, seeing the hurt and confused expression on his face. Sighing, she closed her eyes for a moment. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Maybe the truth would be better after all. She bit her lip, nervously, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she made a decision, dropping her bag on the floor and walking back into the room. She stopped by the window, looking out so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. “William, we need to talk.”
TBC