Spike intently watched Buffy head towards the bathroom, a fond smile gracing his lips, and then rolled his eyes as Xander entered his line of vision and bee-lined towards him.
“So?” The bartender asked excitedly as he hurried up.
“So what?”
“So what’s going on with you and runaway bride?”
“Nothing,” Spike insisted firmly. “Nothing’s going on. At all.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing! With the dancing and the naughty touching,” Xander raised his eyebrows expectantly, looking like an eager puppy.
“There wasn’t any naughty touching.”
“Au contraire, mon frère, I distinctly saw touching. Methinks you protest too much!”
“Methinks you should mind your own business,” Spike grumbled.
Xander’s face became more serious as he asked, “Does she know you’re leaving tomorrow?”
Buffy entered the room again, a happy smile on her face as she headed back towards the table, and Spike shook his head quickly, a guilty expression on his face. “No. She doesn’t, not yet. I’ll tell her.” He watched his golden goddess bouncing towards them as he considered telling her the truth. But while he couldn’t know what her reaction would be to the news he was out of Sunnydale first thing in the morning, he couldn’t bear the idea that the revelation might wipe that happy smile off of her face. He’d tell her. Just not now.
Xander noted the dreamy expression entering his friend’s eyes and turned to walk away, ruffling Buffy’s hair as he passed her. She settled herself onto her stool, slightly off-balance, then said, “My question! Why’d you get sidetracked from your novel?”
Spike’s shoulders sagged. “Remembered that, did you?”
“Yup. And I’m curious, you made it sound all mysterious,” Buffy placed one foot on the rungs of his stool, so her leg was nestled between his, rested her chin on her hands and stared up at him pleadingly.
Spike didn’t respond to her teasing, just beckoned Larry the bartender for another water for his clearly tipsy company. “It’s not all that mysterious.”
“Did I…I mean, if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, I totally understand…”
“No, love. It’s fine.” He took a sip of his beer and wondered where to begin. “Told you I came out to Sunnydale when I was twenty two, yeah? Came with a woman, Drusilla.” Her name burned his tongue as it came out. “Met her when I was seventeen, and we stayed together all through college, and even after that. She got it into her head she wanted to leave London, said whispers told her my treasure was to be found in the sunshine. So we came to Sunnydale.” At Buffy’s confused look, he explained quickly, “She was off her bird.”
“Does that mean crazy?”
“Yeah.”
“How crazy?”
“Actually legitimately insane. She had a doll called Miss Edith that spoke to her.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah. So I followed her out here, and I was writing this novel inspired by her. She was a few fries short of a Happy Meal, granted, but she spoke in these beautiful riddles, like poetry. Called her my black goddess, she was my muse.” Buffy ignored the slight flare of jealousy within her as Spike’s face got a faraway look, crediting her own broken heart and the realization that Angel probably never spoke about her like that for the strange emotion. “She got us into sort of a wild scene out here, started going even crazier. My flow of creative juices stopped when I walked in on her shagging our landlord a few months back. Then she kicked me out. Had to depend on the hospitality of the whelp.”
“Oh, Spike, I’m sorry.”
“And I get another question.”
“No! That was an expression of sympathy, I wasn’t apologizing for me.”
“You’re right, love. And thank you.”
“I guess we’re sort of in the same boat. With the cheating. Stupid bitch.”
Spike laughed heartily, half at the angry expression on her pretty face and half at the fact that, just a year ago, he would have punched anyone who dared called Dru a bitch. How far he’d come. “Thanks again. So, that was when the novel got burned in a bonfire. Faith’s idea, she said it always helps to burn things.”
“You know it!” The woman bounded over and pressed a kiss to Buffy’s cheek. “And I have an idea.”
“An idea?” Spike frowned, knowing the bright twinkle in Faith’s eye could only mean property damage or sex.
“Yes. A brilliant idea. B, how do you feel about fire?”
“Um, fire?” Buffy repeated, wrinkling her nose a bit in confusion.
“Yep. I think we should burn the wedding dress.”
“What?” The blonde gasped. “That’s crazy!”
“Is it? Are you ever going to wear it again? Even if you stick with this Angel guy, would you really wear the same dress? No, probably not. And anyway, you shouldn’t stay with him because he’s a lying, cheating ass and men like that don’t change, but that’s beside the point. Imagine the catharsis.” She laughed evilly and rubbed her hands together. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”
Spike watched the parade of emotions flittering across Buffy’s face. Revulsion, confusion, apprehension, excitement, fear. “I’m…I don’t really know, Faith. I mean, can I just think about it?”
Faith nodded. “Of course. Just let me know when, I’m itching for a good blaze.”
“You don’t have to do this, love,” Spike said as Faith spun away, yelling at a customer who’d just broken a glass. “She can be persuasive, but don’t let her talk you into anything you don’t want to do.”
“I won’t. I’m not!” Buffy insisted. “I like fire, too.”
“Oh, really?” he gazed at her adoringly as she nodded spastically. “Okay, my little pyro.”
She changed the subject abruptly. “Whose question is it?”
“Mine. When was the first time…” Spike trailed off as he watched all the color completely drain out of Buffy’s face, leaving her bone white and looking horrified. “Pet, what’s wrong?” He spun around in his chair and caught sight of a tall, dark haired man scanning the bar. From their brief encounter at the country club earlier, he recognized this was Angel.
The clearly furious man scanned the bar quickly, and Spike didn’t have time to shield Buffy with his body before her fiancé caught sight of her. He pushed his way through a group of patrons, ignoring their muttered complaints, and headed for the blonde pair.
“Buffy, I’ve been going out of my mind,” Angel growled as he approached them, myriad positive and negative emotions swirling about in his gaze, clearly relieved but obviously livid. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Buffy was frozen, speechless, and Spike responded tersely, “Look, I don’t think you should be here.” The noise level of the bar lowered as its occupants caught wind of the fight brewing.
“Who the fuck are you?” the man yelled. “Get out of my sight and stay the hell away from my fiancée. Buffy, we’re going.” He reached out to grab her wrist, and then found himself pushed back a few feet by Spike’s strong arms.
“Don’t touch her,” he said as calmly as he could with a raging fire in his veins. The push was a show of aggression Spike hadn’t intended to make, but he felt so irrationally protective of the girl beside him that he’d instinctually moved to protect her from even the threat of harm.
“I’ll touch her if I want to. You get the hell out of my face or---“
“No,” the shaking girl finally interrupted softly, and both men turned to look at her. The word felt unfamiliar on her lips, and clearly, was as unfamiliar to Angel’s ears.
He frowned in confusion. “What do you mean, no?”
“I’m not going with you, Angel.”
Breathing deeply, the jilted groom tried to soften his voice. “Baby, I know you got scared. It’s all right, I’m just upset, we can talk about it, okay? But not here. You have to---“
“I don’t have to do anything.” She was surprised at herself, and almost proud, as she stood her ground.
The softness wavered, and his eyes flashed with anger at her defiance, but Angel regained his calm and said smoothly, “Sweetheart, come on. I’m so sorry, okay baby? Okay?” He reached out, gently this time, and brushed her bare arm with his fingers. Spike could see something in her eyes he didn’t like, and tightened his jaw as he held his breath in anticipation. “I love you. Come on. Let’s just get out of this shithole, I’ll take you home and---“
In a blink that brief hesitation was gone, and Buffy balked. “No.”
“Seriously, what is wrong with you? And why are you dressed like a hooker? Are you drunk, or something?” Angel snapped, his control over his emotions wavering. “We’re going, now.”
“I’m pretty sure the lady said she wasn’t leaving,” growled Spike as he stepped closer to the girl, who he could see was trembling violently.
“Seriously, who are you?” Angel asked, barely glancing at the other man before refocusing on Buffy. “What, did you find someone to fuck around with, that’s why you left? Are you screwing this clown?”
“No, Liam,” Buffy hissed. “I found out you were the one fucking around.”
His dark eyes widened. “What?”
She took a deep breath. “I talked to Harmony.”
Angel let out a bark of humorless, uncomfortable laughter. “God, that’s what this is about, Harmony? I’m not sleeping with that bitch. She had a crush on me---“
“I saw a picture. Don’t you dare lie to me.” Trying her hardest to maintain her composure but failing miserably, Buffy’s voice started to shake with the threat of angry tears. “How could you do that to me?”
“I...baby, that was…look,” Angel stammered. “I made a mistake, she came on to me and I was weak, but that was a long time ago. I cut it off, Buffy, I did. It meant nothing to me! I love you. I want to marry you.”
“How long? How long were you with her? I heard three months, right and who else have you fucked? How could you lie to me?” The dam burst and the flood of tears began. Spike had to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from either grabbing her and comforting her, or punching out this man making her sob. He knew Buffy needed to handle this on her own, but it was killing him not to be able to solve her problems for her. She glanced at him quickly, and he hoped his eyes communicated that whatever she needed from him, he was there to do her bidding.
Angel ignored her questions, and his own guilt, and turned the accusations back around on her. “You should have talked to me, Buffy. Running off like that was immature, do you know what you put me through? And your parents? Get your stuff, now. We’re leaving.” She didn’t move. “Don’t make me tell you again,” he menaced.
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” she yelled, getting the attention of most of the patrons of the bar. Faith and Xander moved a bit closer, ready to intervene if necessary, their instant hate of this intruder evident on their tense faces. “I’m not yours to order around, I’m not some little girl who needs to be told what to do. I can make my own decisions.”
“Since when?” The laugh was cruel and felt like a knife in Buffy’s heart. “Right, you’ve made one decision in your whole life and it was you running away like a selfish, spoiled little brat. Pardon me for thinking you need a little guidance.”
“I’m not selfish. I did what was right for me! I couldn’t stay there, so I came here. And seriously, how did you find me anyway?”
“Willow looked up the number you called her from. She knew you needed me to come get you.”
Buffy felt crushed. She’d expected almost anything but that, and the realization that her best friend wasn’t truly on her side broke her heart even more. “God, she helped you? What, did you sleep with her too?” She struggled to contain a sob. “You can all go to hell.”
“Buffy—“
“No! I don’t care what you all think! I’m not a child and I’m not stupid.”
“You just---“
“I couldn’t marry you. I didn’t want to and I made the right decision.” And she realized she truly had, and the last of her remaining doubts about her flight evaporated, as did the last of her desires to make it work with this man. Buffy took a deep breath, and said, “We’re over, Angel.”
He gaped at her. “You can’t possibly be serious.”
“I am. I want you to go.”
“You’re just upset, try and calm down and think about this, think about what you’re doing,” he reached for her again, but Spike stepped in between them, fists clenched, unable to sit back for one more second. “Get out of my face, you fucking---“
“I know exactly what I’m doing,” Buffy said firmly, her voice gathering strength, though her face told another story. The unbearable hurt and fear shown on her features elicited sympathetic rumblings of anger from the captivated patrons, who throughout the course of the night had come to realize this little slip of a girl needed their support. “I’m done with you.”
“You’re not the one who gets to say when we’re done, Buffy. Come on, what do you think your parents are going to have to say about this? Your father?”
She winced, but maintained, “I don’t care.”
“Oh, you know you do, baby. There’s no way your dear dad will let you break this engagement off. Do you know what this will do to him?”
“Please leave, Angel,” she said softly, biting her lip. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Too fucking bad.” He shoved Spike to the side into the bar and grabbed her wrist, then began to drag her towards the door. Xander stopped Faith who tried to lunge forward instantly and moved to cross Angel’s path himself, his usually friendly eyes dark with rage. However, Spike was up in an instant, pulling at the larger man’s shoulder and spinning him around before sinking a fierce punch into his nose.
Angel let loose a roar of fury, and relinquished his grasp on Buffy’s wrist. He lunged for Spike and managed to connect fist to face before Xander intervened and pulled him off.
“Stop it!” Buffy cried out pleadingly, and Spike’s fist froze just inches from Angel’s stomach. “Stop it,” she said again quietly, sniffling back tears before walking slowly up to her ex-fiancé, who was breathing heavily and glaring at her.
“I swear to God, Buffy, if you don’t---“ He started to threaten, but his words were cut off as Buffy slapped him, then pulled back one high heeled shoe and kneed him squarely between the legs. A chorus of congratulatory jeers and applause erupted from their tense audience.
His howl of pain brought a smile to her tearstained face, and she said confidently, “Get out of here, Angel. You’re not welcome.” She slipped the large diamond ring off of her left hand, where it had been heavy and cumbersome all evening, and shoved it into Angel’s hand.
Xander, with a proud smile on his face, and a random angered bar patron pulled the moaning man towards the exit and threw him out into the night. Buffy moved towards Spike quickly and gingerly touched the reddening patch of skin on his cheek where he’d been hit.
“I’m okay, really,” he insisted as her eyes welled up with tears again, and he gently pulled her into a long hallway, away from the prying eyes of the customers. “Are you, though?”
“I’m not the one who got hit! Oh, Spike I’m so sorry---“
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” he soothed, wiping away her falling tears, his almost uncontrollable fury at the man who made her cry evaporating only when he touched her. “He’s gone, okay? We won’t let him back in, just try to calm down, yeah?”
Buffy’s breath hitched in her throat. “I should leave, I shouldn’t be here I’m just screwing up your night---“
“Now, you be quiet,” Spike said firmly, lifting her head so she was no longer staring down at his shoes, but at his face. “I want you here. You haven’t screwed up a damn thing and I don’t want to hear you even imply that again. If you really want to go somewhere, I’ll take you, but if it were up to me you’d stay the whole bloody night. Alright?” He was shaking just as much as Buffy was, and pulled her closer to him to rest his forehead on hers, and repeat, “I want you here.”
Buffy felt his words enter her ears and sink into her heart, but she could hardly comprehend them for a moment. When she finally did allow his meaning to penetrate the walls she’d carefully constructed, she let out another weak sob and snuggled into his chest, burying her face in her hands as Spike wrapped her up in his arms.
“I feel like we’ve done this before,” she forced a laugh as she finally pulled away. “I’m sorry I’m all whiny little cry Buffy. You must---”
“No. No, whatever you were going to say,” Spike said gently. “We don’t have to go back into the bar, if you want, we can…I don’t know, take a walk?”
“That would be good, in a bit though. But let’s get Faith.” She angrily wiped away her tears, and her face shifted into a mask of strength and confidence.
“Why?”
“I’ve got a dress that needs burning.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it took so long to put up the new chapter! Aside from life being just insane (i'm off to Sweden in, well, an hour, if that gives you a hint of my current state of affairs), this was definitely one of the hardest to write, needed much much editing and re-thinking. Hopefully you all like it! Thanks for your patience, and please let me know what you think!
Chapter End Notes:
Reviews would be much appreciated! Hope I haven't lost anyone with the long wait.